Hello October!

[tammy2688 1]

Hello All,

Yes I am still in AP. No news here. Talked to the senator who happens to be Barack Obama (gee you'd think that would have some affect) and the embassy sends a letter saying they are working on it. So I guess I should stop flooding them with e-mails but how much can two people take! I never dreamed it would go passed 12 months. I always thought they had a timeframe of 1 year and even after I painfully watched the medical expire, I thought maybe they would see that expiration and move the case somewhere. No...I haven't seen any change since the case was "completed" and I always knew I would not have it easy...I remember at 4 months seeing others complain about 2 weeks and thinking yep...I'm in it for the long haul. Luckily I wasn't living in some fantasy of 'who cares let other suffer with long AP's MINE will be done faster!'...no no, my husband told me to stay patient, I told him likewise. Now $6000 and 2 years into this still no fruits of labor, nothing to show for it except for a mightly tough shell of emotional capability that us wife and husband have acquired.

I am not bitter as I was 9 months into it, I am more senseless than anything else. I have not gone on depression pills as some of my fellow friends, I have not begun to have doubts about my relationship, I have not cried any less now than I did 6 months ago and I am not much more knowedgable about what happens during these administrative processes than I was over a year ago.

I will tell you though, it is at least better to know that you aren't the only one and that your timeframe is never "it has been too long" because otherwise, we would have to do around like chickens with our heads cut off wondering WHY people get visas and are able to come here and MY case is stuck in this hellhole of a nightmare.

It's amazing how many amazing people you meet in times of dilemma. I do agree with the whole, "we plan, God laughs" quote because as you live life you realize again and again how many dreams you didn't get to fulfill and it doesn't particularly make you feel terribly depressed, but it sure shows you that you are not in control.

I never wanted anything in my life, the only thing I wanted was someone who understood me. Still I wait day to day, for this man to reach me. Who knows how much longer I will have to wait, and how many others I know and don't know have to do the same.

I have resorted to not doing anything that reminds me I once had passion and flare for life. Now it is a struggle just to wake up in the mornings and see the rest of the world function while I walk the streets more like a zombie than a human being. What happened to the taste of food? The pleasure of music? The feeling of PEACE?

Nothing.

It's all there still. The same way it was when I used to be able to enjoy it.

I close this with a prayer to all of these good men, fiance's and husbands who have been nothing short of amazing during this journey. May God help us be strong and give us the guidance to be active, informed and smart indivduals and have the ability to do everything we can to bring our families together once and for all.

-Tam

[CassandraHaydar 0]

Something I have found rather helpful is a quote by Eckhart Tolle...

"Anything bad will turn to good through nonresistance."

I have tried to apply that to this situation. There is a reason for everything. There is a plan. Something is keeping us in Korea... I should just accept that this is where life is and live in the present.

I hope this helps you as much as it helped me.

Cassandra

[Nita&Assaad 0]

Tammy I want to say I feel for you!! I am so sorry this process is so damn long!!!

I am waiting patiently... and I know how you feel about all you mentioned about losing feeling for everything from Music to movies.. etc.. I been like this since last year!!!

Now that I am thinking about it, I guess you can say that I been through this before, I think I had AP during my citizenship process. After my final interview for citizenship I was also waiting and waiting and waiting... I been here in the US a PLR all my life (since 1 month) and was trying to become a citizen of the US before 12 years... So then I remembered I had to wait 5 months just for my own Secruity checks (plus the fact that I got married during this process so then they had to do some on my hubby too) and almost 2 years for my citizenship to go through and yes I found out they were doing secruity checks on me because they also couldn't locate my Original A file when I was first brought in to the US... So hey I have been through this before....I should be stronger and numb to this... but no I was Frustrated then and I am more FRUSTRATED now... Then because I wanted to upgrade our petition to Spouse of US citizen and now because we have to go through it again

I called DOS today, and a lady by the name of Ana told me that they don't actually have my husband physical file, which I thought they did..(I guess I still don't know how this all works) Anywho She told me no we don't have your husband, and I said no what... And we started laughing... I played dumb and I asked her what was happening with our case.

Your husband case is pending, under administrative processing, once completed the visa will be issued. I know AP but what does this mean (still Laughing), name check, background check, she was quiet...She told me just keep laughing like this it good, I said yes because this process is so long... Then she told me call us in a couple of weeks, I am sure your husband will get his visa soon! She had a smile on her face...

I said have a good day

Thank you

Well It made me feel a bit better, and I laughed like I haven't in a while.... Hope your day is going better Tammy, Mrs. J, Hyd, Julia, Cassandra and anyone else in this AP HELL mess!! I am glad we have each other for support!!!

Hugs

Nita

Edited October 8, 2008 by Nita&Assaad

[anitacastillo 0]

Tammy,

I'm so sorry the wait continues.

I am worried that you say you aren't doing anything to remind of passion in your life. I understand the numbness. Please make sure you are taking care of yourself - try to exercise, want to look good for your man

You are in my prays,

Ann

[thepacific 0]

Hello All,

Yes I am still in AP. No news here. Talked to the senator who happens to be Barack Obama (gee you'd think that would have some affect) and the embassy sends a letter saying they are working on it. So I guess I should stop flooding them with e-mails but how much can two people take! I never dreamed it would go passed 12 months. I always thought they had a timeframe of 1 year and even after I painfully watched the medical expire, I thought maybe they would see that expiration and move the case somewhere. No...I haven't seen any change since the case was "completed" and I always knew I would not have it easy...I remember at 4 months seeing others complain about 2 weeks and thinking yep...I'm in it for the long haul. Luckily I wasn't living in some fantasy of 'who cares let other suffer with long AP's MINE will be done faster!'...no no, my husband told me to stay patient, I told him likewise. Now $6000 and 2 years into this still no fruits of labor, nothing to show for it except for a mightly tough shell of emotional capability that us wife and husband have acquired.

I am not bitter as I was 9 months into it, I am more senseless than anything else. I have not gone on depression pills as some of my fellow friends, I have not begun to have doubts about my relationship, I have not cried any less now than I did 6 months ago and I am not much more knowedgable about what happens during these administrative processes than I was over a year ago.

I will tell you though, it is at least better to know that you aren't the only one and that your timeframe is never "it has been too long" because otherwise, we would have to do around like chickens with our heads cut off wondering WHY people get visas and are able to come here and MY case is stuck in this hellhole of a nightmare.

It's amazing how many amazing people you meet in times of dilemma. I do agree with the whole, "we plan, God laughs" quote because as you live life you realize again and again how many dreams you didn't get to fulfill and it doesn't particularly make you feel terribly depressed, but it sure shows you that you are not in control.

I never wanted anything in my life, the only thing I wanted was someone who understood me. Still I wait day to day, for this man to reach me. Who knows how much longer I will have to wait, and how many others I know and don't know have to do the same.

I have resorted to not doing anything that reminds me I once had passion and flare for life. Now it is a struggle just to wake up in the mornings and see the rest of the world function while I walk the streets more like a zombie than a human being. What happened to the taste of food? The pleasure of music? The feeling of PEACE?

Nothing.

It's all there still. The same way it was when I used to be able to enjoy it.

I close this with a prayer to all of these good men, fiance's and husbands who have been nothing short of amazing during this journey. May God help us be strong and give us the guidance to be active, informed and smart indivduals and have the ability to do everything we can to bring our families together once and for all.

-Tam

hi tammy i take my visa last monday thank you that you making me feeling so happy and Optimstic too .i hoping that you heard the new news very sooner.

thank you again and good luck

[hyd617 1]

hey nita

even i had spoke to a lady named anna when i called one HAHAHA!!

anyways i guess its good to get on their good side, to find out info haha... maybe she knows something and said ur huby wil get his visa soon!

this is something positive keep laughing

[miamiwife 0]

Amen to that! I don't really believe that things happen for a reason, but I do believe that when things happen we are forced to adapt and alter, so we can live. We have to find a way to survive, to continue, and I think that is probably what we find in this forum--other people who remind us that we are not alone and that we are still living despite all the heartache. I was asked the other day at a dinner party why I couldn't have married someone from the U.S., since we have so many people here already. Why did I marry a foreigner to cause me so many problems? And you know, I guess he made me feel alive in a way I have never felt before and despite my dreams and plans ended or put on hold, I know that he is worth all of this time waiting.

[indianheart 2]

I do beleive everything happens for a reason. I havent seen my husband for 14 months now and I have been wanting to go since before his interview in June. Now that I have been told I cant work due to 2 slipped dics in my neck related to work injury and I am sitting around that house with nothing to do I decided to take that last of my savings and go to see him. This is the first time I have been in India for a festival (Diwali and I am excited) and we will make a trip to the embassy. Now if I hadnt been injured at work (that was very depressing), and later told I cant work, I would not have had the time away from work to make this trip. God is in control and has made it possible for my husband and I to be together again if even for just a short time, but we will take a chance and go to the embassy and see if we can speed things along.

some times the things that happen we cant make sense of untill the time comes that we should understand.

[tammy2688 1]

Why did I marry a foreigner to cause me so many problems? And you know, I guess he made me feel alive in a way I have never felt before and despite my dreams and plans ended or put on hold, I know that he is worth all of this time waiting.

That is the ONLY reason I am still in the game after so long. Well said.

[tammy2688 1]

I do beleive everything happens for a reason. I havent seen my husband for 14 months now and I have been wanting to go since before his interview in June. Now that I have been told I cant work due to 2 slipped dics in my neck related to work injury and I am sitting around that house with nothing to do I decided to take that last of my savings and go to see him. This is the first time I have been in India for a festival (Diwali and I am excited) and we will make a trip to the embassy. Now if I hadnt been injured at work (that was very depressing), and later told I cant work, I would not have had the time away from work to make this trip. God is in control and has made it possible for my husband and I to be together again if even for just a short time, but we will take a chance and go to the embassy and see if we can speed things along.

some times the things that happen we cant make sense of untill the time comes that we should understand.

I am so sorry to hear that Indianheart,

Seems when things to wrong, they all go wrong in a ugly domino effect. I don't know how you women do it or how your husband's do it but I have lost the bit of sense I had even a few months ago.

I can always count on Ann to life me up though, thanks girl! You are definately right when you say exercise...I can't kill myself in the process. But my husband is calling me at 5am these days, nearly jobless and running out of money, my dropped one of my classes and messed up the year, lost over 10 lbs...and I can't understand normal things anymore like I had to put my debit card into the machine 3 times when shopping cause I was totally not there in mind.

You guys I think this is what it feels like to lose your mind. Money is like a thing I want to hold on to for rainy days after he arrives but it has diminished. I don't know I gotta get my flow back.

How about we all get our spirits up again and try to hold on just a bit longer. I'll be honest, I don't have the $$ to go see my husband this winter and so I basically have no option except him coming here or wait till...I can't think anymore.

This too shall pass....this too...shall pass....hugs to you all and God bless.

Tam

[mdtouhidul 0]

Tammy just have faith a little longer, Allah will show you the way. Like you say all the time Allah has a plan for us All. Hold on, Keep on praying and ask Allah for help. This will end soon.

Touhid

[tammy2688 1]

I think when we are so stressed with feeling the lonliness and pain we forget that indeed the US embassies are the busiest out there. Theres about a thousand cases probably circulating by the week and I know that it takes a long time. When I called the embassy, I told them, I don't to be of a disturbance, I know you have a high caseload, I just want to know if there is any upates on the case.

I hope we can all pull through. So far I went every year, from 2005 till now to see my husband. I may go again if the visa is not issued but with time and money shortage here I don't know. I am really hoping for this visa so that we can finally be together and start our family.

Tam