effect of family change

[petrona 0]

how long do you have to be seperated to file for a divorce from your spouse

[Chuck and Grace 0]

how long do you have to be seperated to file for a divorce from your spouse

In US? you dont even need to be separated, but some states will have a waiting period to finalize it. longer if you have kids. Settlement agreement takes the longest, so try to work it out amicablely if you want to expedite things. good luck.

[petrona 0]

how long do you have to be seperated to file for a divorce from your spouse

if u cant

[petrona 0]

how long do you have to be seperated to file for a divorce from your spouse

In US? you dont even need to be separated, but some states will have a waiting period to finalize it. longer if you have kids. Settlement agreement takes the longest, so try to work it out amicablely if you want to expedite things. good luck.

if there is no chance of reconecting what then is the next step and what shall i do

[justashooter 430]

depends on your individual situation.

if things are not so bad, you could just suck it up and adjust to the cultural difference you are facing before deciding whether to divorce. people recently arriving US sometimes have culture troubles and think divorce is the best thing. we all change in time, so patience may be your friend.

my wife threatened to go back to china the night before our wedding, even though we had lived together in china for 3 years previously. she was scared of the cultural changes she would have to adjust to. i understood, having lived in foreign countries for many years. patience was her friend. she is living a succesful life, now, and is glad she did not go back to china. now she has two lives,a d can choose the best from both.

if, on the other hand, you are getting beaten every night, then you could go to a catholic church and explain to the preist. he will help you get through it. if things are tough, but no physical violence, he will also help you understand how to see your situation in light of his experience and wisdom. you will find support in the house of God, even if you don't believe in Him.

i assume you are catholic, so would trust a preist. if you are not, go see one anyway. they are generally good people with wisdom and knowledge of resources you may need.

[pushbrk 13,073]

how long do you have to be seperated to file for a divorce from your spouse

In US? you dont even need to be separated, but some states will have a waiting period to finalize it. longer if you have kids. Settlement agreement takes the longest, so try to work it out amicablely if you want to expedite things. good luck.

Divorce laws are State laws and yes some states require a separation. It's best to google "divorce in (your state)" for such information.

[GiGii 4]

if things are not so bad, you could just suck it up and adjust to the cultural difference

my wife threatened to go back to china the night before our wedding, even though we had lived together in china for 3 years previously.

Suck it up? Is that what you told your wife also?

Did you meet your wife online? Cause I dont understand why she would be "disappointed" and want to leave the day before your marriage. I thought that only happens for people that met online??

[maliciant 7]

if things are not so bad, you could just suck it up and adjust to the cultural difference

my wife threatened to go back to china the night before our wedding, even though we had lived together in china for 3 years previously.

Suck it up? Is that what you told your wife also?

Did you meet your wife online? Cause I dont understand why she would be "disappointed" and want to leave the day before your marriage. I thought that only happens for people that met online??

lol GiGii, are you toying with justashooter, he's practically famous for having lived with his wife for 3 years in china instead of being in one of those fantasy internet marriages. Of course he's also getting famous for being seriously opinionated, and possibly an overly high opinion of himself, he took it up a notch for me in this thread, justashooter is becoming one of my favorite posters for sheer entertainment value alone

[diadromous mermaid 36]

how long do you have to be seperated to file for a divorce from your spouse

if u cant

If you are in the USA, there are resiency requirements in order to file for divorce. Many states require that the petitioner has been resident in that county for anywhere from 60 to 180 days. Check with your local family court.

[justashooter 430]

if things are not so bad, you could just suck it up and adjust to the cultural difference

my wife threatened to go back to china the night before our wedding, even though we had lived together in china for 3 years previously.

Suck it up? Is that what you told your wife also?

Did you meet your wife online? Cause I dont understand why she would be "disappointed" and want to leave the day before your marriage. I thought that only happens for people that met online??

lol GiGii, are you toying with justashooter, he's practically famous for having lived with his wife for 3 years in china instead of being in one of those fantasy internet marriages. Of course he's also getting famous for being seriously opinionated, and possibly an overly high opinion of himself, he took it up a notch for me in this thread, justashooter is becoming one of my favorite posters for sheer entertainment value alone

well, at least people are talking. that's the first step in getting them thinking.

my wife had the jitters just like everyone else does the night before a marriage. shoot, at the thought of it all, i almost caught the next plane back to beijing. at least she didn't run to arizona and later claim to have been kidnapped by two black guys. we would have really been famous, then.

seriously, i started reading this board 3-4 years ago, and got some useful information that was helpful in completing our process. then i started reading this section, and seeing similar posts on CFL. as a result, i did some research on the issue of immigration fraud and the impact it has on the country that is my birthright.

it's a terrible thing to grow up in a unified and functional culture, and watch it fractured and devoured piecemeal by people from cultures that have not earned comparative stature independently. i see our national culture degraded every day by the immigration of persons into America who do not acclimate, and become truely American in thought, word, and deed. rather, they expect me to accomodate their perspective and customs. it's bad enough i have to listen to luoyang opera sung in the park outside my window in china every night. i'm sure as hell not going to listen to some muzzie call to prayer six times a day in the pennsylvania countryside.

these immigrants too often remain west african, chinese, indian, or whatever the country of origin in thought, word, and deed, taking unto themselves only benefit and priveledge that they and their forebearers did not earn. so i feel the need to note one of the many causes of this disintegration of our nation. green card seekers using desperate Americans as stepping stones have become a plague of ever increasing proportion. to them, unhappy Americans with an internet terminal are just a window into wonderland.

should i be mocked for publicly acknowledging the truth? perhaps the osama "truth squad" will find me out and threaten to file a lawsuit against me for saying something they do not want people to hear, regardless of it's veracity. perhaps enough of the acorn dead will rise and join the illegals and the dallas cowboys football team that are scheduled to vote in missouri in the next election, and push osama over the top. from such a lofty position i am sure he would have a gun clinger with christian education like me hacked to death by machete, just like his cousin did to so many innocents in kenya after rigging an election to high office.

some of you people are part of the reason why America is rapidly becoming a third world country. you dream of pie in the sky, and too often get a pot of sheet, instead. every time one of you marries an internet bride you are taking a chance with my future, and my children's future. how arrogant of you to take the significant risk of increasing the burden upon those of us around you on basis of hope and a few e-mails.

believe me, i vetted my wife through a three year relationship before she got the keys to my home and my homeland. i vetted her through people i trust in china, as well. i built a relationship that is extremely low risk and extremely stable before i married. i did this out of respect for my children, my country, her, and myself. i see few others on this board who have done so. too many are just throwing the dice. if they were your dice and rolled on your fortune, i would have no problem with your throw. trouble is, you are wagering more than you can pay. someone else will have to pay the croup if it comes up snake eyes.

[mellowgeorge 1]

justashooter: I respect your opinion about immigrants retaining their cultural identity and not 'assimilating' into the American fabric. But just for the purposes of conversation, what is the American fabric? Is there a single, standard American lifestyle?

I bring up the fact that regional differences exist in the United States, different enough that one may feel a little bit of culture shock when picked up from one and dropped into another. Which one would is the right one and which one is the wrong one? I would guess that you would think that the right one is the one you grew up in because it mirrors your values (or because it shaped your values). So I am going to bring up African-Americans. They are as much a United States citizen as Caucasian Americans but there is a very large gap in lifestyle and culture. Are you saying that they are also causing the fragmentation of the 'unified and functional culture' of America, based on your previous argument?

My point is that cultural differences exist even inside the United States, among Americans, and that these cultures exist and can be identified because they cluster together. So your argument that immigrants from outside the US not assimilating but instead creating their own little cultural island are destroying the America can just be easily applied to indigenous American socio-cultural differences, as well.

Finally, it's great that you 'vetted' (she must love that word) your wife for 3 years instead of diving into a marriage after only online conversations. I see a lot of posts here where I think ( but I dare not say) that probably the reason why the marriage/engagement breaks down is because in the last 100 emails and hours of IM conversation, both parties thought that things would work out.

I am just wondering why, in your concern for the integrity and survival of the 'unified and functional' America, you had to find a bride all the way in China. By this action, did you not admit unconsciously that you're seeking out something different, a person from a different culture that may enrich your life in countless ways, just by having such different backgrounds? Does this not run counter to your position of you wanting to preserve the American culture? I would think that, if you truly were true to your position, you would have married an American with the same culture and values as you, in that way, preserving what you think is the right way for Americans to live.

Just some thoughts.

Edited October 13, 2008 by mellowgeorge

[*JG* 2]

I agree with whomever said google the laws of your state.

[GiGii 4]

it's a terrible thing to grow up in a unified and functional culture, and watch it fractured and devoured piecemeal by people from cultures that have not earned comparative stature independently. i see our national culture degraded every day by the immigration of persons into America who do not acclimate, and become truely American in thought, word, and deed. rather, they expect me to accomodate their perspective and customs. it's bad enough i have to listen to luoyang opera sung in the park outside my window in china every night. i'm sure as hell not going to listen to some muzzie call to prayer six times a day in the pennsylvania countryside.

these immigrants too often remain west african, chinese, indian, or whatever the country of origin in thought, word, and deed, taking unto themselves only benefit and priveledge that they and their forebearers did not earn. so i feel the need to note one of the many causes of this disintegration of our nation. green card seekers using desperate Americans as stepping stones have become a plague of ever increasing proportion. to them, unhappy Americans with an internet terminal are just a window into wonderland.

some of you people are part of the reason why America is rapidly becoming a third world country. you dream of pie in the sky, and too often get a pot of sheet, instead. every time one of you marries an internet bride you are taking a chance with my future, and my children's future. how arrogant of you to take the significant risk of increasing the burden upon those of us around you on basis of hope and a few e-mails.

believe me, i vetted my wife through a three year relationship before she got the keys to my home and my homeland. i vetted her through people i trust in china, as well. i built a relationship that is extremely low risk and extremely stable before i married. i did this out of respect for my children, my country, her, and myself. i see few others on this board who have done so. too many are just throwing the dice. if they were your dice and rolled on your fortune, i would have no problem with your throw. trouble is, you are wagering more than you can pay. someone else will have to pay the croup if it comes up snake eyes.

Let me share something with you, this is the land of the free, and no one will do something they don't want to. This country is founded on immigrants. Unless you are a true blood Indian, you too are somehow in line with a generation of immigrants. I believe assimilation is the biggest load of ####### I've ever heard of. Everyone is free to act, speak and live the way they feel they like to. If they want to "americanize" that's fine, if they want to remain in-tact with their culture, more power to them. This is a salad bowl of nationalities, and its ignorant people like you who tick me off, who come on a immigration board to talk smack, when he himself ran from the problems he couldn't solve in the US, to China!

You talk about "your dreams" and "your kids", those are "YOUR" problems, dont blame anyone else for your shortcomings.

I don't believe your relationship is low risk, none is. Your wife wanted to run like hell the day before marriage. Perhaps you were forcing some assimilation on her she just didn't want. What does finding a Chinese lady and staying in China for 3 years have to do with respect for your kids? It seems more like you didn't trust her.

Perhaps mr. shooter, you have some trust issues. Maybe they are trust issues with immigrants, because they've done you wrong in the past. Maybe they were smarter than you, quicker & out-did you somewhere through your life. Now you come here, with snake eyes and all that mumbo jumbo spewing your negativity. Maybe go have some chow-mein and call it a day. Ooops, better only eat an american hot dog.

[Chica Yeyé 41]

well, at least people are talking. that's the first step in getting them thinking.

my wife had the jitters just like everyone else does the night before a marriage. shoot, at the thought of it all, i almost caught the next plane back to beijing. at least she didn't run to arizona and later claim to have been kidnapped by two black guys. we would have really been famous, then.

seriously, i started reading this board 3-4 years ago, and got some useful information that was helpful in completing our process. then i started reading this section, and seeing similar posts on CFL. as a result, i did some research on the issue of immigration fraud and the impact it has on the country that is my birthright.

it's a terrible thing to grow up in a unified and functional culture, and watch it fractured and devoured piecemeal by people from cultures that have not earned comparative stature independently. i see our national culture degraded every day by the immigration of persons into America who do not acclimate, and become truely American in thought, word, and deed. rather, they expect me to accomodate their perspective and customs. it's bad enough i have to listen to luoyang opera sung in the park outside my window in china every night. i'm sure as hell not going to listen to some muzzie call to prayer six times a day in the pennsylvania countryside.

these immigrants too often remain west african, chinese, indian, or whatever the country of origin in thought, word, and deed, taking unto themselves only benefit and priveledge that they and their forebearers did not earn. so i feel the need to note one of the many causes of this disintegration of our nation. green card seekers using desperate Americans as stepping stones have become a plague of ever increasing proportion. to them, unhappy Americans with an internet terminal are just a window into wonderland.

should i be mocked for publicly acknowledging the truth? perhaps the osama "truth squad" will find me out and threaten to file a lawsuit against me for saying something they do not want people to hear, regardless of it's veracity. perhaps enough of the acorn dead will rise and join the illegals and the dallas cowboys football team that are scheduled to vote in missouri in the next election, and push osama over the top. from such a lofty position i am sure he would have a gun clinger with christian education like me hacked to death by machete, just like his cousin did to so many innocents in kenya after rigging an election to high office.

some of you people are part of the reason why America is rapidly becoming a third world country. you dream of pie in the sky, and too often get a pot of sheet, instead. every time one of you marries an internet bride you are taking a chance with my future, and my children's future. how arrogant of you to take the significant risk of increasing the burden upon those of us around you on basis of hope and a few e-mails.

believe me, i vetted my wife through a three year relationship before she got the keys to my home and my homeland. i vetted her through people i trust in china, as well. i built a relationship that is extremely low risk and extremely stable before i married. i did this out of respect for my children, my country, her, and myself. i see few others on this board who have done so. too many are just throwing the dice. if they were your dice and rolled on your fortune, i would have no problem with your throw. trouble is, you are wagering more than you can pay. someone else will have to pay the croup if it comes up snake eyes.

Some of you people??? What the fukc is that supposed to mean?

You have issues. If you needed to put your wife through a 3 year probation period; you should have remained single. No wonder she had "jitters" the night before - who wouldn't in her case.

No one vetted me or handed me the keys to anything and no, America is not a dream come true - maybe it was for your wife; but certainly not for me or most of my VJ friends.

Your comments are disgusting.

[*JG* 2]

if things are not so bad, you could just suck it up and adjust to the cultural difference

my wife threatened to go back to china the night before our wedding, even though we had lived together in china for 3 years previously.

Suck it up? Is that what you told your wife also?

Did you meet your wife online? Cause I dont understand why she would be "disappointed" and want to leave the day before your marriage. I thought that only happens for people that met online??

lol GiGii, are you toying with justashooter, he's practically famous for having lived with his wife for 3 years in china instead of being in one of those fantasy internet marriages. Of course he's also getting famous for being seriously opinionated, and possibly an overly high opinion of himself, he took it up a notch for me in this thread, justashooter is becoming one of my favorite posters for sheer entertainment value alone

well, at least people are talking. that's the first step in getting them thinking.

my wife had the jitters just like everyone else does the night before a marriage. shoot, at the thought of it all, i almost caught the next plane back to beijing. at least she didn't run to arizona and later claim to have been kidnapped by two black guys. we would have really been famous, then.

seriously, i started reading this board 3-4 years ago, and got some useful information that was helpful in completing our process. then i started reading this section, and seeing similar posts on CFL. as a result, i did some research on the issue of immigration fraud and the impact it has on the country that is my birthright.

it's a terrible thing to grow up in a unified and functional culture, and watch it fractured and devoured piecemeal by people from cultures that have not earned comparative stature independently. i see our national culture degraded every day by the immigration of persons into America who do not acclimate, and become truely American in thought, word, and deed. rather, they expect me to accomodate their perspective and customs. it's bad enough i have to listen to luoyang opera sung in the park outside my window in china every night. i'm sure as hell not going to listen to some muzzie call to prayer six times a day in the pennsylvania countryside.

these immigrants too often remain west african, chinese, indian, or whatever the country of origin in thought, word, and deed, taking unto themselves only benefit and priveledge that they and their forebearers did not earn. so i feel the need to note one of the many causes of this disintegration of our nation. green card seekers using desperate Americans as stepping stones have become a plague of ever increasing proportion. to them, unhappy Americans with an internet terminal are just a window into wonderland.

should i be mocked for publicly acknowledging the truth? perhaps the osama "truth squad" will find me out and threaten to file a lawsuit against me for saying something they do not want people to hear, regardless of it's veracity. perhaps enough of the acorn dead will rise and join the illegals and the dallas cowboys football team that are scheduled to vote in missouri in the next election, and push osama over the top. from such a lofty position i am sure he would have a gun clinger with christian education like me hacked to death by machete, just like his cousin did to so many innocents in kenya after rigging an election to high office.

some of you people are part of the reason why America is rapidly becoming a third world country. you dream of pie in the sky, and too often get a pot of sheet, instead. every time one of you marries an internet bride you are taking a chance with my future, and my children's future. how arrogant of you to take the significant risk of increasing the burden upon those of us around you on basis of hope and a few e-mails.

believe me, i vetted my wife through a three year relationship before she got the keys to my home and my homeland. i vetted her through people i trust in china, as well. i built a relationship that is extremely low risk and extremely stable before i married. i did this out of respect for my children, my country, her, and myself. i see few others on this board who have done so. too many are just throwing the dice. if they were your dice and rolled on your fortune, i would have no problem with your throw. trouble is, you are wagering more than you can pay. someone else will have to pay the croup if it comes up snake eyes.

It is definately a state of mind. Some immigrants do have a hard time adjusting because they tend to think things are the same in the whole world. I also think many USC's try and make it as close to the home they left as possible. (I did not because I felt that just prolonged the adjustment process.) It is a shock to the system. And, it does take time to adjust.

That being said, I think you generalized way too much in your post. There really is no clear cut way to ensure anything in this process. It depends on the individuals involved and how willing and able they are to adjust.

well, at least people are talking. that's the first step in getting them thinking.

my wife had the jitters just like everyone else does the night before a marriage. shoot, at the thought of it all, i almost caught the next plane back to beijing. at least she didn't run to arizona and later claim to have been kidnapped by two black guys. we would have really been famous, then.

seriously, i started reading this board 3-4 years ago, and got some useful information that was helpful in completing our process. then i started reading this section, and seeing similar posts on CFL. as a result, i did some research on the issue of immigration fraud and the impact it has on the country that is my birthright.

it's a terrible thing to grow up in a unified and functional culture, and watch it fractured and devoured piecemeal by people from cultures that have not earned comparative stature independently. i see our national culture degraded every day by the immigration of persons into America who do not acclimate, and become truely American in thought, word, and deed. rather, they expect me to accomodate their perspective and customs. it's bad enough i have to listen to luoyang opera sung in the park outside my window in china every night. i'm sure as hell not going to listen to some muzzie call to prayer six times a day in the pennsylvania countryside.

these immigrants too often remain west african, chinese, indian, or whatever the country of origin in thought, word, and deed, taking unto themselves only benefit and priveledge that they and their forebearers did not earn. so i feel the need to note one of the many causes of this disintegration of our nation. green card seekers using desperate Americans as stepping stones have become a plague of ever increasing proportion. to them, unhappy Americans with an internet terminal are just a window into wonderland.

should i be mocked for publicly acknowledging the truth? perhaps the osama "truth squad" will find me out and threaten to file a lawsuit against me for saying something they do not want people to hear, regardless of it's veracity. perhaps enough of the acorn dead will rise and join the illegals and the dallas cowboys football team that are scheduled to vote in missouri in the next election, and push osama over the top. from such a lofty position i am sure he would have a gun clinger with christian education like me hacked to death by machete, just like his cousin did to so many innocents in kenya after rigging an election to high office.

some of you people are part of the reason why America is rapidly becoming a third world country. you dream of pie in the sky, and too often get a pot of sheet, instead. every time one of you marries an internet bride you are taking a chance with my future, and my children's future. how arrogant of you to take the significant risk of increasing the burden upon those of us around you on basis of hope and a few e-mails.

believe me, i vetted my wife through a three year relationship before she got the keys to my home and my homeland. i vetted her through people i trust in china, as well. i built a relationship that is extremely low risk and extremely stable before i married. i did this out of respect for my children, my country, her, and myself. i see few others on this board who have done so. too many are just throwing the dice. if they were your dice and rolled on your fortune, i would have no problem with your throw. trouble is, you are wagering more than you can pay. someone else will have to pay the croup if it comes up snake eyes.

Some of you people??? What the fukc is that supposed to mean?

You have issues. If you needed to put your wife through a 3 year probation period; you should have remained single. No wonder she had "jitters" the night before - who wouldn't in her case.

No one vetted me or handed me the keys to anything and no, America is not a dream come true - maybe it was for your wife; but certainly not for me or most of my VJ friends.

Your comments are disgusting.

Deep Breaths...........Deep Breaths............