help help please!!!!!!

[Sprailenes 47]

in either case, stories like this make me think that internet marriages should not be allowed. too often they bring people together who would never connect in the "real world". the disparity frequently causes mutual indifference, disrespect, dissapointment, or abuse by the petitioner, or the beneficiary. abuse comes in many forms, so don't think it's a one way street.

What a load of #######! If international marriages (meeting through the net) should be banned, then so should be immigration altogether!!! Everything you mentioned could happen not only in marriages for people that met through the internet, but for any immigrant marriage (regardless how they met).

The real world starts when the immigrant gets to the US. So the life you had with your chinese girl in China is VERY different from the one you can/will have in the US. Change brings in room for disaapointment and many other things due to adjustment. These are issues with immigration altogether, not just by meeting online.

Is having a long distance relationship hard as hell? Umm yeah, I think all of us on VJ can agree. But its not a fantasy, its the test of time and struggling through the hardship.

Exactly!

And just because a few people are stupid and don't follow the rules, it doesn't mean the rest of us are stupid.

There are a ton of people on this site who found love on line, and continue their love with their chosen life partners.

[pushbrk 13,073]

in either case, stories like this make me think that internet marriages should not be allowed. too often they bring people together who would never connect in the "real world". the disparity frequently causes mutual indifference, disrespect, dissapointment, or abuse by the petitioner, or the beneficiary. abuse comes in many forms, so don't think it's a one way street.

What a load of #######! If international marriages (meeting through the net) should be banned, then so should be immigration altogether!!! Everything you mentioned could happen not only in marriages for people that met through the internet, but for any immigrant marriage (regardless how they met).

The real world starts when the immigrant gets to the US. So the life you had with your chinese girl in China is VERY different from the one you can/will have in the US. Change brings in room for disaapointment and many other things due to adjustment. These are issues with immigration altogether, not just by meeting online.

Is having a long distance relationship hard as hell? Umm yeah, I think all of us on VJ can agree. But its not a fantasy, its the test of time and struggling through the hardship.

Exactly!

And just because a few people are stupid and don't follow the rules, it doesn't mean the rest of us are stupid.

There are a ton of people on this site who found love on line, and continue their love with their chosen life partners.

About now, "shooter" is probably thinking he walked into a room full of purple people shouting the "P Word". Next time, maybe open your eyes before you speak. A huge majority of VJ members met their fiance(e) or spouse online.

Nevertheless, I can't think of a room you could walk into anywhere in the world in this century and expect people to agree on the idea of their government banning marriage between people who met on the internet.

[venusfire503 54]

in either case, stories like this make me think that internet marriages should not be allowed. too often they bring people together who would never connect in the "real world". the disparity frequently causes mutual indifference, disrespect, dissapointment, or abuse by the petitioner, or the beneficiary. abuse comes in many forms, so don't think it's a one way street.

visa officers get ####### from people for denying visa on basis of lack of genuine relationship. IMHO, they do not declare this often enough. i married a chinese girl i had lived with for 3 years in china, and adapting her to the US has been difficult enough. what hell it must be for people who start a relationship in US without benefit of the years we had in developing trust. and don't tell me sending each other e-mail is a trust building exercise. it is a fantasy building exercise. facing the world together day by day is a trust building exercise in the best of cases. anything less just doesn't count.

My first husband and I met in college, in person, and spent most of our days together. We were both USC, same religion, race, similar ages, both single, etc. We married after FOUR years but were miserable together. I met my second husband online. Different religions, backgrounds, languages, difference in age, I was divorced, he was never married, etc. Somehow things worked out well for us - he got here 7 months after our first contact. We had only spent about 30 days together in person when he got here. He's now been here almost 2 years, and things are wonderful between us. I can tell the difference already between my first and second marriages. There are NO guarantees in life, other than eventual death. But we have certain critical things that my ex and I didn't have - mutual respect, good communication, an ability to really understand and help out each other... things like that. The problem isn't the way people meet, or how long they knew each other, it's what's inside each of them, the kind of relationship they have, and their commitment to staying together.

I know that certain things - like meeting on the internet, having a long distance relationship, differences in culture, etc. can make a big difference in fragile relationships. And it can complicate any marriage. But those differences, in my opinion, do not make or break it.

[morocco4ever 63]

funny that we all post on here about love, and yet, forget that love is different for each person. the more education and power a person has, the more difficult it is to find. people from simple economies don't expect much of love. they define love as a willingness to take care of their basic needs. persons in more developed economies can already do that, themselves, and need something more.

could be this poster came in with a plan to dump the petitioner and join her family in their own little "manila west". could be she came in with pie in the sky hopes and no understanding of what she was actually going to get, then bailed to something that "looks like home". the petitioner looses his investment on all scales, and the beneficiary now wants us to take her in.

in either case, stories like this make me think that internet marriages should not be allowed. too often they bring people together who would never connect in the "real world". the disparity frequently causes mutual indifference, disrespect, dissapointment, or abuse by the petitioner, or the beneficiary. abuse comes in many forms, so don't think it's a one way street.

visa officers get ####### from people for denying visa on basis of lack of genuine relationship. IMHO, they do not declare this often enough. i married a chinese girl i had lived with for 3 years in china, and adapting her to the US has been difficult enough. what hell it must be for people who start a relationship in US without benefit of the years we had in developing trust. and don't tell me sending each other e-mail is a trust building exercise. it is a fantasy building exercise. facing the world together day by day is a trust building exercise in the best of cases. anything less just doesn't count.

Again we have another sharpshooter response. It's funny that you can catagorize that all relationships that met online are a fantasy. Well guess what buddy, I met mine online almost 5 years ago. We are coming up on our 4th anniversary now, he has been going on 2 years. Helluva fantasy! I don't ever want to wake up.

I suspect that you qualify yourself as one of the more powerful and educated, and you have come to the conclusion that this is why you had a difficult time finding love. Strange logic.

Life is filled with inequities that will never be resolved.

very true

Deja Vu.

Come on people, stop trying to convince us of your sincerity. People don't fall out of love and back into love within what, a week? This reeks of premeditated fraud. Move on, you won't get illegal advice from us. My husband was denied a visa, and it took him an additional 15 months for us to fight and win the system. This is because of people such as yourself that makes it hard for bonafide relationships to prove their sincerity.

i used to do that at topless bars

Charles, Charles Charles. Whatever are we to do with you?

Edited October 8, 2008 by morocco4ever

[cdneh 3,112]

funny that we all post on here about love, and yet, forget that love is different for each person. the more education and power a person has, the more difficult it is to find. people from simple economies don't expect much of love. they define love as a willingness to take care of their basic needs. persons in more developed economies can already do that, themselves, and need something more.

could be this poster came in with a plan to dump the petitioner and join her family in their own little "manila west". could be she came in with pie in the sky hopes and no understanding of what she was actually going to get, then bailed to something that "looks like home". the petitioner looses his investment on all scales, and the beneficiary now wants us to take her in.

in either case, stories like this make me think that internet marriages should not be allowed. too often they bring people together who would never connect in the "real world". the disparity frequently causes mutual indifference, disrespect, dissapointment, or abuse by the petitioner, or the beneficiary. abuse comes in many forms, so don't think it's a one way street.

visa officers get ####### from people for denying visa on basis of lack of genuine relationship. IMHO, they do not declare this often enough. i married a chinese girl i had lived with for 3 years in china, and adapting her to the US has been difficult enough. what hell it must be for people who start a relationship in US without benefit of the years we had in developing trust. and don't tell me sending each other e-mail is a trust building exercise. it is a fantasy building exercise. facing the world together day by day is a trust building exercise in the best of cases. anything less just doesn't count.

Again we have another sharpshooter response. It's funny that you can catagorize that all relationships that met online are a fantasy. Well guess what buddy, I met mine online almost 5 years ago. We are coming up on our 4th anniversary now, he has been going on 2 years. Helluva fantasy! I don't ever want to wake up.

I suspect that you qualify yourself as one of the more powerful and educated, and you have come to the conclusion that this is why you had a difficult time finding love. Strange logic.

Life is filled with inequities that will never be resolved.

very true

Deja Vu.

Come on people, stop trying to convince us of your sincerity. People don't fall out of love and back into love within what, a week? This reeks of premeditated fraud. Move on, you won't get illegal advice from us. My husband was denied a visa, and it took him an additional 15 months for us to fight and win the system. This is because of people such as yourself that makes it hard for bonafide relationships to prove their sincerity.

i used to do that at topless bars

Charles, Charles Charles. Whatever are we to do with you?

Give that man a pay rise?

[Sprailenes 47]

funny that we all post on here about love, and yet, forget that love is different for each person. the more education and power a person has, the more difficult it is to find. people from simple economies don't expect much of love. they define love as a willingness to take care of their basic needs. persons in more developed economies can already do that, themselves, and need something more.

could be this poster came in with a plan to dump the petitioner and join her family in their own little "manila west". could be she came in with pie in the sky hopes and no understanding of what she was actually going to get, then bailed to something that "looks like home". the petitioner looses his investment on all scales, and the beneficiary now wants us to take her in.

in either case, stories like this make me think that internet marriages should not be allowed. too often they bring people together who would never connect in the "real world". the disparity frequently causes mutual indifference, disrespect, dissapointment, or abuse by the petitioner, or the beneficiary. abuse comes in many forms, so don't think it's a one way street.

visa officers get ####### from people for denying visa on basis of lack of genuine relationship. IMHO, they do not declare this often enough. i married a chinese girl i had lived with for 3 years in china, and adapting her to the US has been difficult enough. what hell it must be for people who start a relationship in US without benefit of the years we had in developing trust. and don't tell me sending each other e-mail is a trust building exercise. it is a fantasy building exercise. facing the world together day by day is a trust building exercise in the best of cases. anything less just doesn't count.

PS: This isn't about meeting online, and you should retract that statement because obviously you're not "educated" enough to know that many many people meet online, and that it is common to meet online, and that many many relationships that began online do last.

Good for you that you went to China to live with your fiance! /sarcasm

All American citizens who are on the visa journey should quit their jobs so that they too can go live in the countries of their significant others. Quit your jobs, and if you have kids, quit them too!

Boy am I glad someone like you is not the one making the decisions when it comes to immigration.

The OP made a stupid choice, don't lump all online relationships together in one pile.

This site is proof that many people to come to this country for love and with good intentions.

Edited October 8, 2008 by Sprailenes

[morocco4ever 63]

funny that we all post on here about love, and yet, forget that love is different for each person. the more education and power a person has, the more difficult it is to find. people from simple economies don't expect much of love. they define love as a willingness to take care of their basic needs. persons in more developed economies can already do that, themselves, and need something more.

could be this poster came in with a plan to dump the petitioner and join her family in their own little "manila west". could be she came in with pie in the sky hopes and no understanding of what she was actually going to get, then bailed to something that "looks like home". the petitioner looses his investment on all scales, and the beneficiary now wants us to take her in.

in either case, stories like this make me think that internet marriages should not be allowed. too often they bring people together who would never connect in the "real world". the disparity frequently causes mutual indifference, disrespect, dissapointment, or abuse by the petitioner, or the beneficiary. abuse comes in many forms, so don't think it's a one way street.

visa officers get ####### from people for denying visa on basis of lack of genuine relationship. IMHO, they do not declare this often enough. i married a chinese girl i had lived with for 3 years in china, and adapting her to the US has been difficult enough. what hell it must be for people who start a relationship in US without benefit of the years we had in developing trust. and don't tell me sending each other e-mail is a trust building exercise. it is a fantasy building exercise. facing the world together day by day is a trust building exercise in the best of cases. anything less just doesn't count.

Again we have another sharpshooter response. It's funny that you can catagorize that all relationships that met online are a fantasy. Well guess what buddy, I met mine online almost 5 years ago. We are coming up on our 4th anniversary now, he has been going on 2 years. Helluva fantasy! I don't ever want to wake up.

I suspect that you qualify yourself as one of the more powerful and educated, and you have come to the conclusion that this is why you had a difficult time finding love. Strange logic.

Life is filled with inequities that will never be resolved.

very true

Deja Vu.

Come on people, stop trying to convince us of your sincerity. People don't fall out of love and back into love within what, a week? This reeks of premeditated fraud. Move on, you won't get illegal advice from us. My husband was denied a visa, and it took him an additional 15 months for us to fight and win the system. This is because of people such as yourself that makes it hard for bonafide relationships to prove their sincerity.

i used to do that at topless bars

Charles, Charles Charles. Whatever are we to do with you?

Give that man a pay rise?

You must be Nessa in disguise.

Edited October 8, 2008 by morocco4ever

[sasha414 0]

in either case, stories like this make me think that internet marriages should not be allowed. too often they bring people together who would never connect in the "real world". the disparity frequently causes mutual indifference, disrespect, dissapointment, or abuse by the petitioner, or the beneficiary. abuse comes in many forms, so don't think it's a one way street.

visa officers get ####### from people for denying visa on basis of lack of genuine relationship. IMHO, they do not declare this often enough. i married a chinese girl i had lived with for 3 years in china, and adapting her to the US has been difficult enough. what hell it must be for people who start a relationship in US without benefit of the years we had in developing trust. and don't tell me sending each other e-mail is a trust building exercise. it is a fantasy building exercise. facing the world together day by day is a trust building exercise in the best of cases. anything less just doesn't count.

My first husband and I met in college, in person, and spent most of our days together. We were both USC, same religion, race, similar ages, both single, etc. We married after FOUR years but were miserable together. I met my second husband online. Different religions, backgrounds, languages, difference in age, I was divorced, he was never married, etc. Somehow things worked out well for us - he got here 7 months after our first contact. We had only spent about 30 days together in person when he got here. He's now been here almost 2 years, and things are wonderful between us. I can tell the difference already between my first and second marriages. There are NO guarantees in life, other than eventual death. But we have certain critical things that my ex and I didn't have - mutual respect, good communication, an ability to really understand and help out each other... things like that. The problem isn't the way people meet, or how long they knew each other, it's what's inside each of them, the kind of relationship they have, and their commitment to staying together.

I know that certain things - like meeting on the internet, having a long distance relationship, differences in culture, etc. can make a big difference in fragile relationships. And it can complicate any marriage. But those differences, in my opinion, do not make or break it.

same situation here. my first husband and i came from the same country, same religion, both single. and the very first week after marriage, i knew things werent working out. we divorced. i also met my 2nd husband online and things definitely worked for us. my point is, it doesnt matter where you meet whether it be on the internet or in person, its how you work on your marriage that counts. its the kind of person you are inside thats important. and i agree with you venusfire "there are no guarantees in life". happiness in life depends on the choices that you make and i have seen so many couples who have met online that are very happy.