New here, and now so sad

[WhidbeyGirl 1]

I am getting married next month and had hoped my husband wouldn't be too far behind me coming back to the US. After reading through some posts I am now so discouraged and sad. I didn't realize it is going to take so long. I won't even be able to visit him as it's so expensive.

[Heather_Romani 0]

I am getting married next month and had hoped my husband wouldn't be too far behind me coming back to the US. After reading through some posts I am now so discouraged and sad. I didn't realize it is going to take so long. I won't even be able to visit him as it's so expensive.

I totally understand where you're coming from, I felt that way too in the beginning, but trust me, it is so worth it in the end. I tried actually to live in Egypt, but I only lasted about 9 months, couldn't find a decent job. Have you thought about trying that? You could potentially live there during the process. Hang in there hun! Everything will work out for the best!

[PhilipYen 0]

I am getting married next month and had hoped my husband wouldn't be too far behind me coming back to the US. After reading through some posts I am now so discouraged and sad. I didn't realize it is going to take so long. I won't even be able to visit him as it's so expensive.

Hang in there. I've been in the same situation last yr. We started processing the papers in August last year and by March 2008 we got approved. Our case was complete in about 7 months only and now we're together. Just be patient...

[yankee 0]

I am getting married next month and had hoped my husband wouldn't be too far behind me coming back to the US. After reading through some posts I am now so discouraged and sad. I didn't realize it is going to take so long. I won't even be able to visit him as it's so expensive.

Do something you enjoy while the waiting for your visa. are you working?have a quality with your family cause when you get here its expensive too to go back and fourth. I understand the situation but patience really paid off. hang in there and everything will be fine..

[Thai family 0]

You'll find lots of company here. It will take a while, but it will all be worth it in the end.

Thai Mom

[Let it Be 0]

Welcome to VJ, and know that you are not alone....

Glad to have another member, and don't be too sad, you never really know how long your journey will take. There are good people here, and we all understand what you are going through...

Linda

[Pappu1980 0]

I am getting married next month and had hoped my husband wouldn't be too far behind me coming back to the US. After reading through some posts I am now so discouraged and sad. I didn't realize it is going to take so long. I won't even be able to visit him as it's so expensive.

You will get tons of support from other VJ members at every step. Most people here felt exactly same way as they visited this site, but you get involve in the VJ community all member will support each other and at the end you would feel much better and have a great satisfaction upon achievement.

[MaxOnline 0]

I am getting married next month and had hoped my husband wouldn't be too far behind me coming back to the US. After reading through some posts I am now so discouraged and sad. I didn't realize it is going to take so long. I won't even be able to visit him as it's so expensive.

you should've looked into this immigration thing even b4 getting married.. and then decide whether you can handle it or not...but knowing you'll go through this hassle just once in a life time... and if u really love him u will make it happen... it's hard in the beginning, and then you'll cope... I understand how u feel, but this is how things work @ USCIS!

[pushbrk 12,327]

I am getting married next month and had hoped my husband wouldn't be too far behind me coming back to the US. After reading through some posts I am now so discouraged and sad. I didn't realize it is going to take so long. I won't even be able to visit him as it's so expensive.

No visits during the months long visa process can make showing a bona fide ongoing relationship pretty difficult. If you can't, you can't but I'd be adjusting priorities if at all possible.

[notime4haterz 0]

I'm also new here. I joined VJ because I was tired of dealing with this situation and coping with it alone. I think you'll find you can vent here, get advice here, and hopefully reading what others are going through etc... it will help you cope better and the time pass faster.

And yes, I agree with the above post. If you don't visit, you might have trouble when you have to prove a bona fide marriage.

[JoBri 545]

Well, some of us are more well off financially than others. It is all I can do to just get her here because of the expense, although I do make above the required 125% of poverty line. I am sure, from what I have read, there are many, many here who have had success in bringing their spouse here, without the chance to visit in between time.

But there are other ways to show bonafide marriage too. Some of these are stated as follows:

1. Affidavit Sworn To by Third Party of Marital Relationship

(a pastor at my church provided marriage counselling for us via the internet. He also evaluated tests he had us take and gave feedback, to help us get off on the right foot. So he is one person I got a sworn affidavit from. Another is a long time friend who has been in regular contact with my wife as well, who knows first hand this entire journey I have been on.)

2. Joint Ownership of Property

(I added my wife to my car title. So now she is the co-owner of my car. it is also registered in both our names).

3. Joint Tenancy

(she is on my aprtment lease along with me).

4. Co-mingling of financial resources

(she has been added to some things at my bank, such as the signature card. Also, we have records to show her paying for my trip there, the airfare and the hotel. And we have the records of me paying other expenses since then. I send her money, and we both work hard to get through this, each contributing what we can, together).

Photos, wedding vows, letters, phone bills... these things also help establish bonafide marriage.

[pushbrk 12,327]

Well, some of us are more well off financially than others. It is all I can do to just get her here because of the expense, although I do make above the required 125% of poverty line. I am sure, from what I have read, there are many, many here who have had success in bringing their spouse here, without the chance to visit in between time.

But there are other ways to show bonafide marriage too. Some of these are stated as follows:

1. Affidavit Sworn To by Third Party of Marital Relationship

(a pastor at my church provided marriage counselling for us via the internet. He also evaluated tests he had us take and gave feedback, to help us get off on the right foot. So he is one person I got a sworn affidavit from. Another is a long time friend who has been in regular contact with my wife as well, who knows first hand this entire journey I have been on.)

2. Joint Ownership of Property

(I added my wife to my car title. So now she is the co-owner of my car. it is also registered in both our names).

3. Joint Tenancy

(she is on my aprtment lease along with me).

4. Co-mingling of financial resources

(she has been added to some things at my bank, such as the signature card. Also, we have records to show her paying for my trip there, the airfare and the hotel. And we have the records of me paying other expenses since then. I send her money, and we both work hard to get through this, each contributing what we can, together).

Photos, wedding vows, letters, phone bills... these things also help establish bonafide marriage.

It's important responses be relevant. Senagal is not the UK. 2, 3 and 4 above were likely accomplished after arrival, not before a visa interview. As for 1. just what is somebody going to put into an affidavit for a newlywed that convinces others they have a bona fide ongoing relationship when they haven't seen each other since the honeymoon.

To clarify, I wasn't referring to any evidence included with the petition but rather at the visa interview.

[prince+angel 3]

I am getting married next month and had hoped my husband wouldn't be too far behind me coming back to the US. After reading through some posts I am now so discouraged and sad. I didn't realize it is going to take so long. I won't even be able to visit him as it's so expensive.

Hi WhidbeyGirl!

I found this website after marrying my husband & my heart sank to my feet when I read some of these posts!

Other posts had my heart beating with happiness as I read so many love stories of couples from all walks of life, from all over the world & what they've endured. The people here are amazing and their advice will get through those dark days.

If this is the path you choose & want a life with your husband~to~be, follow your heart. Now that you know what your in for in regards to process, timelines & expenses - approach it like you would approach anything else - PLAN! & stay in touch with this community - it really helps!

Good luck to you & welcome to VJ!

[WhidbeyGirl 1]

WOW!!! THANK YOU all so very much. I only got 1 email notification of a response so I was SHOCKED to see all of you.

Right now this whole process is so overwhelming. I had been on the US Embassy website and it just seemed like it was filing the I-130 and then everything was good to go. I am SO glad my doctor told me to come here!!

The 125% above poverty level really caught me off guard, I don't make that right now, but there is a very good chance I'll be working for local law enforcement by the time I get back from my honeymoon and it pays more than double what I make now so I'm not too worried about that part.

Someone asked if I'd be willing to move to Senegal, I would LOVE to, but I have 3 children who live with me right now and it's just not possible. Although I will look for possible employment while over there next month, who knows maybe there will be something I can do there.

Thank you again for all the responses and support.

[Shawna Mahmoud 0]

Blessings Whidbeygirl!

Welcome to VJ and I must echo the previous responses. WE ALL have had to take this journey and some are still going through it. You will find support here. We understand your feelings. Feel free to vent and ask questions and anyone of us will try our best to answer your questions as best we can.

Everyone's process is different so you may see some who took over 1 year to get approvals and some who are less than 9 months. I started in January and my husband was here at the end of August. The biggest thing is being prepared and having all of the documentation necessary to make your journey smooth.

Stay focused and pray. We are here for you.

Shawna