Yardies, at home and a farrin (part 8)

[sus 70]

I couldn't agree more. But, then I feel like I am forcing his hand. Will he begin to resent me if she calls his bluff and disappears with them?

Jawi, some times you have to take the risk - Have you thought of maybe trying counselling with all three of you? Maybe sitting down with an impartial third party would help her to see that having the girls come here would be in their best interest - Especially if his daughter needs heart surgery - Maybe having someone else give her insight would help her to see that it would be better for them.

The other option, if he decided to come here, would be to get them here on a visit and then keep them here, file for custody in the US courts

[sus 70]

Jawi, I feel for you - That situation is so unbelievably difficult - It frustrates me to no end when I see parents use their children to their own advantage. We haven't even dealt with half of the shyt I know we will encounter with DJ's son's mom - But she is another that falls into the manipulative category - Lord help her if I ever run into her and we have a chat = the ####### she pulled about just taking him from school, and not telling anyone where he is - She forgot she had a child for 3 years - suddenly remembered when she found out about me - And playing Mommy lasted all of 2 months, then she dumped her son on her mom, with orders that he isn't to go back to DJ's family. She isn't doing anything for him financially - DJ's doing the best he can, and I bought his school uniforms for him this year - When we try to bring him here I know we will either have a battle or be coughing up some dough to pay her off -

yuhseeit? You know first hand how that cut DJ...he was barely functioning day to day until he was back safely.

Exactly - Makes me want to pay for a trip to JA for some of my Mafia friends, lol - It's hard even now, because seeing him depends on the grandmother's mood - But at least we know he's safe and in school, and not living around drugs and strippers.

[JaHoney 3]

kimmy you know im sensitive..

im supposed to be working and all day im copying evidence, photos, phone receipts and typing letters... yuh leave me be, i dont think i will have anymore questions within the next hour or so...LOL

[Marie876 0]

I agree with Island in that I truly admire your strength Jawi. Stay strong

[SupportOAFJF 0]

kimmy you know im sensitive..

im supposed to be working and all day im copying evidence, photos, phone receipts and typing letters... yuh leave me be, i dont think i will have anymore questions within the next hour or so...LOL

GIRL U MAKE ME HAVE TEARS IN MY EYES..MY SUPERVISOR ASKE WHAT I WAS GIGGLIN ABOUT...

[sus 70]

okay yall im bout to be depressed

WE NEED TO LIGHTEN THE MOOD AND DO SOMETHING HAPPY, THINK HAPPY THOUGHTS

HAPPY HAPPY JOY JOY

U BETTER GO GET UR VISA FOR THE DUMB

LMAO -

Okay, to lighten the mood, since I am trying to catch up and only got as far as the marriage proposal convos -

DJ hasn't officially proposed yet, he said he won't do that until he is legally divorced, because he doesn't feel right about it - THe other day when we were talking he got really quiet, and said he suddenly realized how soon Dec was and that he had to do things right by that trip! I have told him that I am old fashioned and want the full romance proposal, so he better be prepared!

When we are on the phone, he will forever tell people that he's pon da phone with his wife - And I always reply not his wife, there is no ring on my finger - he'll laugh and say sorry, pon da phone with my woman - She nah easy and mi nah do it right yet -

[jawi876 2]

Never thought about counseling Sus. I have never met her in person because A thinks I'm a little too hair trigger crazy. He thinks we would kill each other literally. LOL.

A is actually trying to get a visitors visa lined up for him and the girls...under the guise of going to visit his sister in NY. His older brother already has one...so maybe he can get them here through trickery. I don't think it will work...but he has to feel like he is doing something. LOL

Jawi, I feel for you - That situation is so unbelievably difficult - It frustrates me to no end when I see parents use their children to their own advantage. We haven't even dealt with half of the shyt I know we will encounter with DJ's son's mom - But she is another that falls into the manipulative category - Lord help her if I ever run into her and we have a chat = the ####### she pulled about just taking him from school, and not telling anyone where he is - She forgot she had a child for 3 years - suddenly remembered when she found out about me - And playing Mommy lasted all of 2 months, then she dumped her son on her mom, with orders that he isn't to go back to DJ's family. She isn't doing anything for him financially - DJ's doing the best he can, and I bought his school uniforms for him this year - When we try to bring him here I know we will either have a battle or be coughing up some dough to pay her off -

yuhseeit? You know first hand how that cut DJ...he was barely functioning day to day until he was back safely.

Exactly - Makes me want to pay for a trip to JA for some of my Mafia friends, lol - It's hard even now, because seeing him depends on the grandmother's mood - But at least we know he's safe and in school, and not living around drugs and strippers.

We take small blessings too!

okay yall im bout to be depressed

WE NEED TO LIGHTEN THE MOOD AND DO SOMETHING HAPPY, THINK HAPPY THOUGHTS

HAPPY HAPPY JOY JOY

U BETTER GO GET UR VISA FOR THE DUMB

LMAO -

Okay, to lighten the mood, since I am trying to catch up and only got as far as the marriage proposal convos -

DJ hasn't officially proposed yet, he said he won't do that until he is legally divorced, because he doesn't feel right about it - THe other day when we were talking he got really quiet, and said he suddenly realized how soon Dec was and that he had to do things right by that trip! I have told him that I am old fashioned and want the full romance proposal, so he better be prepared!

When we are on the phone, he will forever tell people that he's pon da phone with his wife - And I always reply not his wife, there is no ring on my finger - he'll laugh and say sorry, pon da phone with my woman - She nah easy and mi nah do it right yet -

[SupportOAFJF 0]

Never thought I don't think it will work...but he has to feel like he is doing something. LOL

..

ISN'T THAT THE TRUTH NO MATTER HOW SMALL

Edited October 31, 2008 by Hotlegz

[Yaads 0]

So I don't know how it works in JA but do they have the whole "legal custody" thing similar to here in the US? Could some of your guys try and fight for legal custody in JA hence allowing them to bring them to the states?

Like for your Sus - since the mom isn't even taking care of him could DJ fight for custody and then carry him to the states?

Sorry if the answer seems obvious - just don't know much about this topic.

[Yaads 0]

When we are on the phone, he will forever tell people that he's pon da phone with his wife - And I always reply not his wife, there is no ring on my finger - he'll laugh and say sorry, pon da phone with my woman - She nah easy and mi nah do it right yet -

Awww That is great

[jawi876 2]

So I don't know how it works in JA but do they have the whole "legal custody" thing similar to here in the US? Could some of your guys try and fight for legal custody in JA hence allowing them to bring them to the states?

Like for your Sus - since the mom isn't even taking care of him could DJ fight for custody and then carry him to the states?

Sorry if the answer seems obvious - just don't know much about this topic.

I'm not too sure either Sus.

[SupportOAFJF 0]

I KNOW THEY HAVE WHERE THE MOTHER/FATHER CAN FILE FOR CHILD SUPPORT WHILE IN JA SO IF THEY HAVE THAT I'M SURE THEY HAVE SOME CUSTODY THING TOO JUST THAT PPL DON'T USE IT MAYBE

[sus 70]

I am not too sure of the custody issue, but I believe it's possible - There is a guy on the negril message board right now going through the process of getting custody of his son, although the mother isn't fighting him - But they did have to go to court. Believe me, if it comes to that and we have to do it, I will be fully researching it and doing it!

DJ doesn't want to bring his son when he first comes - he wants to settle in and then talk about it later - we have talked about it, and he knows it is his decision and I support it whichever way he wants.

[jawi876 2]

or new topic

(i live daily with the other one)

I am bored to rass at work. I went from having two teams to NO team. So, I am literally twiddling my thumbs right now. I don't know what to do with myself. I have a privacy filter so I can iggle on my computer.

Remember that thread I started about Jamaican supersitions? It was so funny to hear some of them. Where is Lawny? I know she can give us tons of them.

[Islandwoman 0]

That's what I meant too. Society in general thinks it is easier for a man to walk away from his kids than a mother because that has been the norm for so long. But, there are some men that cannot imagine leaving their children behind. A was severely depressed being in Canada for just 8 months...he went back home thinking that it was because he missed his girls. But, now he realizes that he missed them AND me...so he was plain miserable.

She will agree to letting them come...I get excited and start working on paperwork. Then, she decides she needs something and the kids are the only way she can get him to do anything for her...so she changes her mind again. I'm crying right now. Be back shortly.

I'm sorry for stirring this up Jawi....As long as he stays, she will always have the upper hand and control over him until the girls are grown. If he decides to come that would force her hand. Seems her tune would change if he was not there on a day to day basis.

I couldn't agree more. But, then I feel like I am forcing his hand. Will he begin to resent me if she calls his bluff and disappears with them?

I totally understand and agree with you Jawi. It has to be his decision - I just went through all of that of letting them make the decisions on their own time. I tell him my opinion and let it go - it's up to him to do what he wants with it.

I'm sure you guys have looked into all avenues, but how about if he gets a custody order in the JA court there for joint custody? Our resident attorney Sus would know....