Yardies, at home and a farrin (part 8)

[JaHoney 3]

SJB, im thinking in april when my kids go on spring break....LOL... dont know where yet??

Lita, i gotta sit down with my mom again, and talk to her and have dwayne call her again so she can continue to see we are serious, she is getting up in age and talks to her great aunt who is in her 80's everyday she tells me aunt ann said such and such about them jamaicans and how they love american women and blah blah blah... i know she doesnt know any better and my mom is getting better with me semi educating her on the process but it still gets old and sometimes i just keep how things are progressing to my self, i share primarily with you all on VJ.

Lita next week is D day so i will give myself a five day window after the proposed date and if no happs then i will take that test. I tend to be sick early on in both of my pregnancies so im kinda sorta worried,,,,LOL...

but having a pickney wouldnt be the worst thing in the world... i guess

[*SunRay* 1]

would be funny if it was sunny

HECK NAW!!!!! Not funny for me. Honey, you need a

[Mrs. Palmer 5]

lita i hear you mention of your fam not being very supportive in the beginning of your decision to marry, can i ask how did they respond?

my mom has semi given her approval and blessing but im still skeptical of her, i want to talk to her about starting to plan my ceremony but sometimes i think she is just saying stuff to pacify me, cause she doesnt really see how it can or if it will work out. Any suggestions? LOL... trying to explain the visa process to people is tiresome as we all know, but my mom is my primary family and i need her in my corner, well i want her in my corner, but i will do it with or without her.

Yes my dad and his side and older sis, were not for this relationship. dad refused to respond to Evans emails or speak to him, til the day my dad flew into Mobay and Evan was the one to pick him up. Now they talk all the time and my dad has a nickname for him... . Anyway, I completely understand my dads concern. I'm his baby girl, and getting married to some random man. If he wasnt concerned, i'd be concerned about that! What I did was kept it moving. Those who didnt choose to ask a single question about Evan, got no info about him. I told my dad they were all ignorant and that they need to learn more about a person and not what they assume of the stereotype. After that I went on about my business planning a AWESOME wedding, and having a great time doing it. They saw that I had resolve and was actually doing this, so eventually many came around but too late to get a ticket to the wedding. They came out to the US reception I had before the wedding and wrote some WONDERFUL things in our scrap book. My brother who i have issues with at many times wrote wonderful things about me to Evan and it was a complete shock. My family knows my style though...FEARLESS. I have always been a no fear kinda girl. I would go visit places all by myself....hence my first trip to JA alone. I have always included my boyfriends in my family so there has never been a seperate life i live with him and my fam. I understand this situation is hard and comes with skepticism and fraud and it all. There was NO WAY i was gonna keep this relationship seperate from my friends and family. I just treated it as any other relationship and eventually everyone got it.

Lita I/my family was the same way. Initially, my parents were NOT supportive at all of this relationship, for most of the reasons you and others have mentioned before. The concept of dating a foreigner, that lived in a foreign land was just too much for them--coupled with the stereotypes that they had of Jamaican men and Jamaican culture, well let's just say that for awhile, I wasn't speaking to anyone but my sister. When my mother realized just how serious I was about Gregory, and that I was actually planning a wedding without her/them, then she eventually began to accept and trust my decision and was more open to what I was experiencing. My father on the other hand was still an a**hole, and I flat-out told him that I did not want him anywhere near Jamaica if he was not going to be respectful to my husband, myself, or anyone else who was there to wish us happiness. I also let him know that when my husband did come over, that he would not be allowed in our home if his actions and words led to my husband feeling uncomfortable or slighted in ANY kind of way. If that meant that we (my dad and I) would not see each other, then so be it. But I was NOT going to tolerate disrespect of ANY kind towards my husband or his family just because of where he comes from. My dad finally got it. And while I doubt that he is not 100% accepting of the whole thing, he deals with it the best he can. And he will occasionally ask when I am planning another trip to Ja. My mother, on the other hand, loves her "son" and calls and talks to him and vice versa. She actually wants to go down again sometime next year to visit with his mom, whom she calls as well.

Honey, it's important for you to realize that you may not have the kind of support that you feel like you should have from your family or friends when it comes to these relationships. But you can't let other people's judgements affect your relationship, and you certainly can't allow other's judegements and preconceived notions to make Dwayne feel slighted, uncomfortable, unwanted, etc. He will be a part of your immediate family, and you have to do everything in your power to protect YOUR family. Eventually, if folks love you like they say they do, they will be happy for your happiness, and things will hopefully work themselves out!

[Shemmy 4]

Honey - Do you know what part of JA yet?

I was asking because we're planning on our ceremoy so I'm collecting info.

[Mrs. Palmer 5]

Suuny, Honey, Island, Sol, and whoever else went down to JA last week, I think we should have a pregnancy test party next weekend on VJ! We can have a DJ, several brands of pee sticks, snacks, whatever! What you think?

[Marlita 0]

SJB, im thinking in april when my kids go on spring break....LOL... dont know where yet??

Lita, i gotta sit down with my mom again, and talk to her and have dwayne call her again so she can continue to see we are serious, she is getting up in age and talks to her great aunt who is in her 80's everyday she tells me aunt ann said such and such about them jamaicans and how they love american women and blah blah blah... i know she doesnt know any better and my mom is getting better with me semi educating her on the process but it still gets old and sometimes i just keep how things are progressing to my self, i share primarily with you all on VJ.

Lita next week is D day so i will give myself a five day window after the proposed date and if no happs then i will take that test. I tend to be sick early on in both of my pregnancies so im kinda sorta worried,,,,LOL...

but having a pickney wouldnt be the worst thing in the world... i guess

Aw Honey and D a breed!! haha, j/k.

yes keep talking to your mom about D. My fam and dad had those same "stereotypes" too. But hinestly its not all stereotype. Its true. There are a number of these men that use women and vice versa. I dont think you need to talk to the fam abou that, but you need to just educate yourself on those things that try to make sure you are not in one of those situations. Other than that just keep it moving. Its just a LDR, not the end of the world. I dont romanticise this situation either. Its a relationship like any other.We have good and bad times. very bad times sometimes, and we work it thru best we can. We also have great times. Its just that he happens to be born somewhere different from me. My husband assimmilates to my Black American culture just as much as I to his Jamaican culture and thats how we meet in the middle. I may be in love with Jamaica, but I am also in love with my own culture too.

[*SunRay* 1]

Suuny, Honey, Island, Sol, and whoever else went down to JA last week, I think we should have a pregnancy test party next weekend on VJ! We can have a DJ, several brands of pee sticks, snacks, whatever! What you think?

Have a guess who's preggo reggae party.

[*SunRay* 1]

SJB, im thinking in april when my kids go on spring break....LOL... dont know where yet??

Lita, i gotta sit down with my mom again, and talk to her and have dwayne call her again so she can continue to see we are serious, she is getting up in age and talks to her great aunt who is in her 80's everyday she tells me aunt ann said such and such about them jamaicans and how they love american women and blah blah blah... i know she doesnt know any better and my mom is getting better with me semi educating her on the process but it still gets old and sometimes i just keep how things are progressing to my self, i share primarily with you all on VJ.

Lita next week is D day so i will give myself a five day window after the proposed date and if no happs then i will take that test. I tend to be sick early on in both of my pregnancies so im kinda sorta worried,,,,LOL...

but having a pickney wouldnt be the worst thing in the world... i guess

Aw Honey and D a breed!! haha, j/k.

yes keep talking to your mom about D. My fam and dad had those same "stereotypes" too. But hinestly its not all stereotype. Its true. There are a number of these men that use women and vice versa. I dont think you need to talk to the fam abou that, but you need to just educate yourself on those things that try to make sure you are not in one of those situations. Other than that just keep it moving. Its just a LDR, not the end of the world. I dont romanticise this situation either. Its a relationship like any other.We have good and bad times. very bad times sometimes, and we work it thru best we can. We also have great times. Its just that he happens to be born somewhere different from me. My husband assimmilates to my Black American culture just as much as I to his Jamaican culture and thats how we meet in the middle. I may be in love with Jamaica, but I am also in love with my own culture too.

My mom was a bit concerned when I first told her. She thought I was just talk until she found out I really filed the paperwork. Then she said Shell, do whatever you want to do. She said I love you and only want the best for you. She said as long as he respects you she's fine. She knew I was going down for the interview and wished me goodluck, but when I told her Ray would be here next week is when it really set in. She said "Next Week" LMAO. Now a few mins ago her best friend called me from my moms house and said I hear your jumping the broom and wished me luck. Mom is probably more excited than I am now. lol My sister is looking forward to meeting Ray because they both are movie crazy.... Looks like they will be going without me because I hate going to the movies. My brother asked if he was bringing any goats with him to the USA. LMAO He'll be just fine. I am blessed with a wonderful family overall.

[Marlita 0]

Suuny, Honey, Island, Sol, and whoever else went down to JA last week, I think we should have a pregnancy test party next weekend on VJ! We can have a DJ, several brands of pee sticks, snacks, whatever! What you think?

Have a guess who's preggo reggae party.

You know I really do want to have a baby, but the Mister is not ready and I get that. I'm actually happy he is mature enough to want to be stable before adding another factor to our lives. However I keep thinking I need to hurry up or something. But then the other day I thought about if i was pregnant now I would be a bit upset cause we would not have honeymoon period and be able to go out in LA and around the state or on roller coasters and just have free range fun. having a baby seriouly would slow us down, and I'm not really ready for all that. I want to be free to experience stuff with him for awhile before we get into babys and insurance policies and feeding and late nights and daycare and all that not so funs stuff. So I think I am gonna get on the pill next week.

[*SunRay* 1]

I'm with you Lita. I'm not ready mentally.... You can have the rollercoaster part though.

[Marlita 0]

It is really nice when the fam comes around. My brother texts Evan now and my lil sis' love him and cant wait to have double dates with us. We are planning to go to Halloween Horror nights if he can get here in time, and my sis boyfriend already has a hook-up for a job for him near the shoreline at a parking garage where he knows the manager well.

[Marlita 0]

I'm with you Lita. I'm not ready mentally.... You can have the rollercoaster part though.

haha, i think I'm ready mentally, just a bit selfish still. I was like aw #######, cant wear a bikin no more, cant have rum cream no more, and wine and beer with my meals. So its all selfishness. I jsut want Evan to be able to see the real Lita in her world. And if I'm pregnant he wont see any of that so I'll be feeling uncomfortable with myself as soon as he gets here and thats not really what i want our first year together to be. So I am planning on a 2010 baby.

[sus 70]

You all are too funny - I left work early to come home and babysit my Mom and just got back online - I was supposed to be working from home, lol - She's sleeping now so I can work!

I HATE HATE HATE to clean - any of you that love it are more than welcome to clean my house, I will gladly cook for you, lol I can even make homemade ravioli! DJ likes to cook too - he cooks for me everytime I am there, I love it. He's also open to new foods, which is good -

[JaHoney 3]

believe me, i want to have another child just not now, but it is what it is if it happens then i cant do nothing but be happy.

SJB, i havent decided where yet, still trying to sort it out in my mind, exactly what i want to do, but im gonna put my friend to work helping me gather little lanterns and things, i think im going to work off of shrewdies idea and have a sunset theme. since i love the color orange.

mrs p you got jokes talking about a preg party....LOL

[MSNELLY 0]

WHAT IF ALL OF YOU LADIES ARE PREGNANT