One Angry WOMAN

[mimhnhut 0]

In Viet Nam, in most cases, a man who has tattoos is rascal, a woman who has tattoos is prostitute. They got tattoos in the jail.

But if he has no police record and his tattoo is of MY NAME, do you see a problem with that?

Bug

In Viet Nam, the person hasn't police record doesn't mean he isn't rascal because the management is loose . Ordinary men never accept a tattoo on their body,because it will made their were seen like the rascal. O.C of HCM consulate know Vietnamese custom, culture very well, they don't want to give a visa to a person who they think may be a rascal.

Edited October 3, 2008 by mimhnhut

[LilLoveBug 0]

In Viet Nam, in most cases, a man who has tattoos is rascal, a woman who has tattoos is prostitute. They got tattoos in the jail.

But if he has no police record and his tattoo is of MY NAME, do you see a problem with that?

Bug

In Viet Nam, the person hasn't police record doesn't mean he isn't rascal because the management is loose . Ordinary men never accept a tattoo on their body,because it will made their were seen like the rascal. O.C of HCM consulate know Vietnamese custom, culture very well, they don't want to give a visa to a person who they think may be a rascal.

Who is O.C?

[mimhnhut 0]

Sorry. I mean Consulate Officers (C.O).

[Melrose Plant 1]

My wife calls this sort of thing "Vietnam growing up." Ironic, isn't it?

Vietnamese in general love to call themselves experts on U.S. immigration policy. They usually haven't a clue. Take out the earring, wear "polite" clothing. Who will ever know? No need to be angry.

[JelloShotGirl 0]

I've never heard of anyone that was denied over tattoos before. I don't know about the bulk of the Vietnamese population, but my wife endured a lot of speculation and nasty rumors surrounding her departure. Her neighbors said I just visited her for sex (no sex happened) and since I got what I want, she'll never actually get her visa. They were also saying she'd be denied because she's too dumb, too pretty, too ugly, and all sorts of other ridiculous reasons. I'm not sure if this is typical gossip or what, but it seemed like the rumor mill was in overdrive in her neighborhood.

I don't think any of the statements said by her neighbors were positive. The only nice statements were from her friends and family. I'm not sure if this is just a cultural thing or if there's a resentment towards those that leave the country?

Great post and very right on. I find this alot too with Vietnamese people. I think it is jealousy and envy. But it is very hurtful and worrisome to the person on the other end. Everyone tells my husband that he is too trashy, too uneducated, too unskilled, the police hate him and will never let him leave, that I am just playing games and getting his hopes up but don't really love him, even his MOM just told him that she heard about someone with a tattoo being denied a visa. (of course, no one has accused me of just visiting him for sex yet, hahaha).

On a stronger note, I wonder when this process will change? Only when I mailed out the I-129f did it hit me how bad this whole process is and that someone besides me has control over my future and my man's future together. We just love and want to be together, what is the problem?

Bug

Ok first of all so u don't go crazy you need to IGNORE most of that kind of talk from people. Jealousy ,ignorance etc etc. If you start to let every little ignorant thing says affect you it is not a good situation. Just think of you and your love and nothing else. This K-1 visa thing i think there are always doubts thant keep coming into your mind. Do what is best for you! IGNORE the other people. I got nervous too when I sponsored my hubby and yes there were always well, "what if's" of course in every situation you have to take a chance. Don't worry what you hear and just make sure you are thorough with the forms and have him take out his earring /piercing and have him dress conservatively and look clean cut for the interview!Make sure he has all his docs prepared. It is better to over-prepare and have too much info than not enough. Don't worry and best of luck! Get prepared for the culture shock when he gets here(dont mean to scare u , sis!LOL I think that takes more deep thought and preparation than the embassy stuff!)Good luck!

[Chris & Mara 0]

The only think I can think of that would mean that a tattoo would lead to being denied would be if he had tested to have caught something from having the tattoo done orginally. If this is something that you are concerned about or they are likely to make up, get him to have a blood test at the doctors before goes to the medical so he has proof that it isnt going to be an issue.

As for the using for money, a statement from him that he plans to work to help support the pair of you in the states may be helpful. Along with addressing the fact (somehow) that you didnt walk up to him and go "hey i have lots of money, wanna marrry me and go through the crappy immagration stress that is USCIS?", proof of your relationship is only going to help push this thought away, however I would suggest that VN being a high fraud country that you make allowances (holiday and savings) to be able to purchase a ticket out there to go to his interview when it rolls around, this will help show that you are commited to him and your relationship. It may perhaps even give you the chance to explain the tattoo (which i admit sounds mighty sweet!).

It is sad the rubbish jealous people will tell you when they have yet to find love and understand its true power to make the illogical seem logical and the want to (literally in most of our cases) cross oceans just to be there for and with that person.

Best of luck Bug

- Mara

Edited October 10, 2008 by Chris & Mara

[akdiver 3]

Couldn't you just dump him and find a guy with no tattoos??

[Chris & Mara 0]

Couldn't you just dump him and find a guy with no tattoos??

Wow that has got to have been seriously one of the nastier things i have heard all week. He got the tattoo, of her name for her..... you really don't want to hear the answer she is going to give you....

[akdiver 3]

Wow that has got to have been seriously one of the nastier things i have heard all week.

Not trying to be nasty - just practical. If they're not giving out visas to guys with tattoos, then it seems reasonable to find a guy without tattoos.

He got the tattoo, of her name for her.....

Yes I know. Edited October 10, 2008 by akdiver

[Melrose Plant 1]

Wow that has got to have been seriously one of the nastier things i have heard all week.

Not trying to be nasty - just practical. If they're not giving out visas to guys with tattoos, then it seems reasonable to find a guy without tattoos.

He got the tattoo, of her name for her.....

Yes I know.

It would seem reasonable for her to find a guy who lived in Orange County, too, for that matter. Every one of us on this site knows that love ain't reasonable.

I will choose to believe that the above is intended to be humorous. I could see that.

[JelloShotGirl 0]

The red flags keep popping up. I mentioned on the k1 discussion forum that American women are offered money to marry foreign men, but in my case I am wealthy. Now the new red flag is that maybe he is using me for my money. I will ask you guys the same question I asked in the k1 forum - how does he PROVE he isn't? What a tangled web this process is - if I was poor then I took money to marry him, if I was rich he is using me for my money and doesn't love me. Where is the option that we both just don't give ####### about anything but that we love each other?

Bug

there is no "proof" this is the chance u take

[Dau_Que 0]

In VNese culture, either in Vietnam or anywhere else for that matter, people with tattoo(s) are "generally" considered the "bad" member(s) of society.

Definition of "bad" = gang-related.

In your case, the content of the tattoo is related to your name, then "personally" I see a big difference. However, I'm NOT the interviewing CO;therefore, my opinion here is pointless.

My suggestion? Try to cover the tattoo up at the interview to avoid any stereotype. It's NOT a crime under any law for not revealing this info. It's considered a private and confidential matter.

[LilLoveBug 0]

In VNese culture, either in Vietnam or anywhere else for that matter, people with tattoo(s) are "generally" considered the "bad" member(s) of society.

Definition of "bad" = gang-related.

In your case, the content of the tattoo is related to your name, then "personally" I see a big difference. However, I'm NOT the interviewing CO;therefore, my opinion here is pointless.

My suggestion? Try to cover the tattoo up at the interview to avoid any stereotype. It's NOT a crime under any law for not revealing this info. It's considered a private and confidential matter.

Thanx for all the advice everyone but I already sent pictures of his tattoo in with my I-129f a long while ago because, like DPNH I thought it had meaning in a good way. I guess now I can only let the chips fall where they may and hire a lawyer if they try to deny his visa on a reason like this which is not a legal reason to deny.

Bug

[LuckyDucky 0]

Thanx for all the advice everyone but I already sent pictures of his tattoo in with my I-129f a long while ago because, like DPNH I thought it had meaning in a good way. I guess now I can only let the chips fall where they may and hire a lawyer if they try to deny his visa on a reason like this which is not a legal reason to deny.

I don't think you should be too concerned about this. Even if people with tattoos are generally considered bad people, the CO should not be able to deny on the grounds that a lot of other people who have tattoos are in gangs. This visa petition isn't for "other people", it's for him. One of the reasons why we jump through so many hoops in our visa process is because the whoe purpose is to assess each couple's relationship on its own merit.

Of course you may have to be vigilant to ensure they don't try to deny claiming it's not a true relationship.

Maybe if he gets a matching tattoo of tweety bird or the purple teletubby, it may alleviate some fears of him being in a gang.

[dalegg 143]

I have to say I never saw anyone in Vietnam who had tattoos while I was there. First ILOVETAN's green haired fiance now this. Is this a new thing?