One Angry WOMAN

[LilLoveBug 0]

Hi, I am new to this site. I am a Vietnamese-American woman (American born), filing for my man who lives in Vietnam. My stress level is reaching boiling point with everyone and their talk talk talk. My poor man in VN is upset because everyone keeps telling him he will be denied a visa because he has tattoos. Have you ever heard anything so ridiculous? I even had a (vietnamese) lawyer here who said in 27 years doing this she had never seen a vietnamese in vn with a tattoo get approved. Is this for real? I know HCMC is a rough consulate but ultimately, they need to doubt the validity of your relationship in order to deny you, not dislike the body art of your fiancee. Am I right? This is just unbelievable and I have been up half the night trying to talk my man out of his depression over everyone's mean and callous comments. He has tattoos and an earring so he can't get a visa to America? We have known each other more than 2 years, have tons of visits and proof together, no red flags (other than I am older than him), and we were not introduced by relatives. So can I get some real thoughts on this topic? I have already sent in my I-129f and it shows pictures of his tattoos (specifically the one with MY NAME). Thanks VN group. I love my people but damn if they don't talk out of their sometimes.

Bug

Edited September 30, 2008 by LilLoveBug

[MichelleN 0]

If he and you are that concerned, just have him remove the earring and cover up the tattoos during the interview. But you're right, it does sound ridiculous.

[MissStacey 1]

That seems silly to me.

I have several tattoos and body piercings- it was never brought up at any time during my process.

[Ngoc-Anh 1]

Unfortunately.....vietnamese people LOVES to talk, especially in order to concern you.

Do not worry about it, it sounds really ridiculous....but if it worries you, just tell him to hide his tatoos, piercing during the interview.

Good luck!

[LuckyDucky 0]

I've never heard of anyone that was denied over tattoos before. I don't know about the bulk of the Vietnamese population, but my wife endured a lot of speculation and nasty rumors surrounding her departure. Her neighbors said I just visited her for sex (no sex happened) and since I got what I want, she'll never actually get her visa. They were also saying she'd be denied because she's too dumb, too pretty, too ugly, and all sorts of other ridiculous reasons. I'm not sure if this is typical gossip or what, but it seemed like the rumor mill was in overdrive in her neighborhood.

I don't think any of the statements said by her neighbors were positive. The only nice statements were from her friends and family. I'm not sure if this is just a cultural thing or if there's a resentment towards those that leave the country?

[LilLoveBug 0]

I've never heard of anyone that was denied over tattoos before. I don't know about the bulk of the Vietnamese population, but my wife endured a lot of speculation and nasty rumors surrounding her departure. Her neighbors said I just visited her for sex (no sex happened) and since I got what I want, she'll never actually get her visa. They were also saying she'd be denied because she's too dumb, too pretty, too ugly, and all sorts of other ridiculous reasons. I'm not sure if this is typical gossip or what, but it seemed like the rumor mill was in overdrive in her neighborhood.

I don't think any of the statements said by her neighbors were positive. The only nice statements were from her friends and family. I'm not sure if this is just a cultural thing or if there's a resentment towards those that leave the country?

Great post and very right on. I find this alot too with Vietnamese people. I think it is jealousy and envy. But it is very hurtful and worrisome to the person on the other end. Everyone tells my husband that he is too trashy, too uneducated, too unskilled, the police hate him and will never let him leave, that I am just playing games and getting his hopes up but don't really love him, even his MOM just told him that she heard about someone with a tattoo being denied a visa. (of course, no one has accused me of just visiting him for sex yet, hahaha).

On a stronger note, I wonder when this process will change? Only when I mailed out the I-129f did it hit me how bad this whole process is and that someone besides me has control over my future and my man's future together. We just love and want to be together, what is the problem?

Bug

[mimhnhut 0]

In Viet Nam, in most cases, a man who has tattoos is rascal, a woman who has tattoos is prostitute. They got tattoos in the jail.

[LilLoveBug 0]

In Viet Nam, in most cases, a man who has tattoos is rascal, a woman who has tattoos is prostitute. They got tattoos in the jail.

But if he has no police record and his tattoo is of MY NAME, do you see a problem with that?

Bug

[LuckyDucky 0]

Great post and very right on. I find this alot too with Vietnamese people. I think it is jealousy and envy. But it is very hurtful and worrisome to the person on the other end.

It is hurtful and doesn't do anyone a lick of good. It saddens me to see a community act like that. The ironic part is that my wife was from a fairly upscale neighborhood. Her family is most definitely well off. In fact, she's had to take a bit of a luxury-hit when living with me. But of course, she still can't wrap her head around that ... it seems that the US is viewed as the land of milk and honey, but in reality most of us have to work our butt off.

On a stronger note, I wonder when this process will change? Only when I mailed out the I-129f did it hit me how bad this whole process is and that someone besides me has control over my future and my man's future together. We just love and want to be together, what is the problem?

Bug

Unfortunately, given all the fraud and sham marriages, the chances of this changing soon are pretty slim. Be advised that the final interview at the Ho Chi Minh Consulate is especially-rigorous since there is a presumed high number of sham marriages being processed. They are more sensitive to inconsistencies or anything that raises "red flags" to them. Until the US Citizen and Immigration decides that intending immigrants are being more honest, the process will probably not change much.

Best of luck!

[FromJapan 0]

Hold the visa processing, bring him here for laser tatoo removal, patch-up his ear too, and then restart the visa process?

Edited October 2, 2008 by FromJapan

[LilLoveBug 0]

Hold the visa processing, bring him here for laser tatoo removal, patch-up his ear too, and then restart the visa process?

Unfortunatly, Vietnamese citizens can't get travel visas like Japanese and other countries can. It is kind of like marriage, or you aren't coming to the States. And as far as laser tattoo removal, he got the tattoo for me after I accepted his marriage proposal. I personally think it is romantic as heck. I know the consulate are bureaucrats but they are still human beings. (right???????)

Bug

[richo 0]

This is just plain "shallowness". Lilovebug just don't mind those envious people, I hope you two will be together soon

[LilLoveBug 0]

The red flags keep popping up. I mentioned on the k1 discussion forum that American women are offered money to marry foreign men, but in my case I am wealthy. Now the new red flag is that maybe he is using me for my money. I will ask you guys the same question I asked in the k1 forum - how does he PROVE he isn't? What a tangled web this process is - if I was poor then I took money to marry him, if I was rich he is using me for my money and doesn't love me. Where is the option that we both just don't give ####### about anything but that we love each other?

Bug

[philliptham 0]

If Im not wrong, are you ILOVETAN ?

[Morning Sunshine 0]

If Im not wrong, are you ILOVETAN ?

Maybe cultural differences in Vietnam are due to this misunderstanding that tattoos mean the person is bad news. So, maybe it is true. He should cover them up during the interview and the piercing, can it be removed temporarily? I would say the individual who told you this may be on to something. The interviewer will look for anything possible to deny a person-I am sure. Better to be safe than sorry!

Edited October 3, 2008 by ~Dream Love~