Homesick

[Ana&D 0]

Oh, Krikit, thanks Though, technically Dave is not my hubby yet (hopefully not much longer ).

Indeed, having experience with homesickness doesn't make it easier. I have experience living for "two" countries, as my life is kinda divided between Ukraine and various programs in the US that lasted from 4 to 19 months. And every little holiday away would trigger a little pang in my heart. Sometimes random things like seeing on Facebook pics of my college friends having a get together while I'm stuck interning in FL would make me homesick. No matter "third world" or not home is, one will always miss it. The good thing is that the feeling passes.

[Krikit 1,164]

Oh, Krikit, thanks Though, technically Dave is not my hubby yet (hopefully not much longer ).

Ooops.

[TanyaDD 0]

Stop making selfpity and be a good wife to your husband while waiting for jobs.. Cleaning and doing household chores will make you forget homesickness...

Once you are legal to work, find a job immediately.

There will never be a solution if you dont do anything.

Do you have a can of whoop a$$ to go with that? Geez.

Diana

Of course.. everyone is different.. some may be emotional but some are not.. Making yourself busy at home makes you feel useful and important.. Based on her comment below..

" i have been 7 months here i don´t want to be a pain in the ... for my husband but i don´t know how to move on and not feeling this way..."

And too she will be doing for her husband not for anyone.. Whats wrong with that? whats wrong on making sure that she take care of her husband really good? Once her husband appreciate everything she does she will feel great and important, and the sense of belongingness in one place..

Talking to family back home via internet, will help you overcome homsickness.. Yes this may take time but if you keep thinking about it..You will not get over it.. Homesickness is just in the state of mind. If you keep thinking about it, it will just affect your relationship with your husband.. Remember not to let negative thoughts flow in your mind..

i´m so sorry you had a wrong idea of me and you judge people , i clean 24/7 in my house cook for my husband, being a homemaker is a hard work but i have a bachelor degree and i was used to work outside all day.,BEING all day in the house cleaning yes causes depression to me, i dont want to be a pain for my husband means "i don´t want him worried" because i miss my family, i miss everything that is not here.

An thank you all for your answers, it makes me feel less lonely knowing we all go through this.

And cleaning the house all day is not a painkiller for Homesickness

[Ana&D 0]

And cleaning the house all day is not a painkiller for Homesickness

Can't agree more . Sounds you are feeling a bit better? Certanly hope so!

[britty 1]

Tanya, I am sure that there are other things you can do besides housework 24/7 which may help alleviate your homesickness, (and may be a little more interesting ). While I was waiting for my greencard, I did voluntary work at the local animal shelter 4 times a week. This really helped me focus on something other than missing my family and friends. Also, my husband was wonderful and would take me out to "English" or "Irish" pubs he found on the internet, shops selling English foodstuffs, and found an ex-pat group that we both joined (there might be something similar in your area?). I am very lucky that I am able to have my family here twice a year, and that we go back to the UK once a year also. My friends also visit from time to time and so I have very little to complain about. I agree keeping busy is a good thing but I hope you can find things other than house cleaning to do. You will always feel homesick from time to time but it does get less and less over time.

[Kiv 32]

Voluntary work helps, especially if you don't know a lot of people where you live, it gives you the chance to start new friendships and relations that may help you latter when you receive your work permit.

I have been working since I finished school and I was unemployed 6 months after I got married, (almost 5 years ago) that was very difficult for me; in a city where I did not know anybody else but my husband; not even his relatives live here. I used to look for stores in the internet and finding them (by bus since I had no driver's license). I learned the bus and train system very well, my husband's co-workers still ask me for help when they need to use public transportation. I made a very nice wedding photo album, and some ornaments for our Christmas tree. I was always looking for the less expensive ways to call to Mexico and arranged as many video calls with my family as it was possible.

The good news are that you won't feel this way forever. You will see.

[Chris & Mara 0]

I know i find it strange but I must admit I really dont get the homesick bug, funny because I remember when I was a kid I would get it when I went on sleepovers and camps lol.

I suppose i believe one thing when it comes to homesick and families and friends:

It does not matter where in the world you are, your family will always be your family and your friends will always be your friends. They have invented the internet, email, phone calls, txt msgs, IM can makes someone 10000 miles away seem like they are just across the room. Yes you can't hug them, but they still love you just as much as if they could.

My mum and my cousins are my best friends and I always make an effort to talk to them once a week when I am overseas, emails help too, nothing like a page of text that makes you feel like you never left the drama .

I think I am lucky when I head to the states I will be in an area I have already gotten too know, and have places and foods there that i love to go and eat. Chris' family is based around the area and I have a strong friends network thanks to my silly little game.

The funny bit is, at the moment I feel more homesick for the life I will have in the states then the life I am currently having.

Tanya, keep in mine, you get to spend each and everyday with your best friend and soul mate, your not there to clean for him, but to be a part of his life as much as he is of yours. Everyone has their down days just need to remember to make them few and far between by concerntrating on the postives and making happy memories.

- Mara

Edited October 5, 2008 by Chris & Mara

[BUHOK 0]

I miss everything so much... i have been 7 months here i don´t want to be a pain in the ... for my husband but i don´t know how to move on and not feeling this way...

Any input will be apreciated

Hi Tanya,

Homesickness is our best enemy when we moved out from our family/country. I had the same feeling when I got here all you can do is pray and try to enjoy your self by watching movies,shopping anything that will occupy your mind. Since I started working I am not as homesick as I used to be. Things will get better...

[MariaBonita 11]

Hi, Tanya!

First:

Lots of (((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))) because I know and understand how you feel.

Second:

It never goes away completely - but - you'll feel a lot better as the time goes by.

I've been in this country 16+ years. I have a great husband and two kids. I work part time, volunteer at my kids' school, very busy at home always taking care of my family, and I still get homesick every ones in awhile.

You know what I miss the most? MY FAMILY! And some of the good people from Mexico. Their warmth, their smiles and the “caring for one another” kind of thing………………

Oh shoot, now I’m feeling homesick.