Homesick

[TanyaDD 0]

I miss everything so much... i have been 7 months here i don´t want to be a pain in the ... for my husband but i don´t know how to move on and not feeling this way...

Any input will be apreciated

[Completely 3]

I miss everything so much... i have been 7 months here i don´t want to be a pain in the ... for my husband but i don´t know how to move on and not feeling this way...

Any input will be apreciated

Stop making selfpity and be a good wife to your husband while waiting for jobs.. Cleaning and doing household chores will make you forget homesickness...

Once you are legal to work, find a job immediately.

There will never be a solution if you dont do anything.

[Irish Lass 1]

I know it's so hard at times and the homesickness will never really go away completly But that does not mean that you will feel like this always, just try to see the good in your life right now. Think of all the positive things, you are with your husband and I'm sure many other good things. Call home as often as you can and talk with friends, try not to keep it all inside, even talk with your husband and share your feelings with him... it's helpful to let it all out sometimes (((HUGS)))

[Ana&D 0]

The feeling will never go away, I know from personal experience. You'll always have those "sad" days... Talking to friends and family back home helps a lot... Cooking a homeland meal... talking a bubble bath, stuffing some chocolate - works magic . You are also pretty new in this country. As time goes by, you'll get friends, a job and it will help ease the homesickness a bit. If you feel really low, though, talk to your hubby, don't hide it away. He will surely offer some comfort! Hope you'll feel better soon!

[Mononoke28 135]

Stop making selfpity and be a good wife to your husband while waiting for jobs.. Cleaning and doing household chores will make you forget homesickness...

Once you are legal to work, find a job immediately.

There will never be a solution if you dont do anything.

Do you have a can of whoop a$$ to go with that? Geez.

Diana

[Moldovandish 0]

It takes a while. I think the first 6 months were the worst for me. Then I found a job and after that things started to get better or at least I got busy. And when the baby came, I haven't had much time for anything anymore

[Mobius 0]

If you can make friends with other people from Mexico in your area or plan a future trip to Mexico that you can look forward to with your husband, that can give you a feeling of self-validation and connectedness. Right now you probably feel a little isolated. For me, making short term goals in my interests helps when I am feeling down. Maybe your husband can share in enjoying some traditional activities/food/music from your culture too. Take care.

[tom&tata 2]

I second everyone about trying to be busy (either working or other things to do). What I found helped me is when I find a job that was not that far off from what I did in Indonesia and it gives me a sense of "normality". Have your own friends (instead of the USC's family or friends) also helps. But, even after 2 years, the homesickness still there. It is just easier.

For me, the homesickness is worse right after the visit home or during festive season because you miss being around your family.

[aidan80 9]

I agree, try to stay busy.. set some goals and of course keep in touch with people back home. We got a VoIP service and that helped a lot by allowing us to setup in addition to a US local number a "virtual" local number back home in Ireland that people can call and our phone here in Florida will ring. Costs the people back home the same price as a local call too!!

Hunt around your local area, find those stores that have some real food from back home as well!!.. Of course try and get in contact with some other people from back home now living in the US.. You might also find some of your old favorite TV programs available on the web.. or even read your former local papers as well on line! That helps me keep up to date with everything .. not that I'm missing much!

It's not always an easy adjustment.. the food, people the culture and the busy, rush rush rush lifestyle. Sometimes people here don't slow down enough.. always jumping from one thing to the next.. relax have a few Guinness! B) enjoy the nice (for me at least) weather!

[Jeraly 4]

I've been here three months and today had the first real sense of happiness at being here - followed shortly after by a massive sense of homesickness It was a big step though. Keep a sense of humour about you and cherish every moment. Try and make friends (I have had some great luck with meetup.com and actually have found a friend and started a Yahoo! group for my area )

It sounds a bit pathetic, but getting an e-mail the other day from my friend who I met on meetup.com asking if I wanted to go watch a movie with my OH and her OH was amazing - just a slice of normality in the craziness of all this immigration and moving stuff

[Completely 3]

Stop making selfpity and be a good wife to your husband while waiting for jobs.. Cleaning and doing household chores will make you forget homesickness...

Once you are legal to work, find a job immediately.

There will never be a solution if you dont do anything.

Do you have a can of whoop a$$ to go with that? Geez.

Diana

Of course.. everyone is different.. some may be emotional but some are not.. Making yourself busy at home makes you feel useful and important.. Based on her comment below..

" i have been 7 months here i don´t want to be a pain in the ... for my husband but i don´t know how to move on and not feeling this way..."

And too she will be doing for her husband not for anyone.. Whats wrong with that? whats wrong on making sure that she take care of her husband really good? Once her husband appreciate everything she does she will feel great and important, and the sense of belongingness in one place..

Talking to family back home via internet, will help you overcome homsickness.. Yes this may take time but if you keep thinking about it..You will not get over it.. Homesickness is just in the state of mind. If you keep thinking about it, it will just affect your relationship with your husband.. Remember not to let negative thoughts flow in your mind..

Edited October 1, 2008 by Completely

[Ana&D 0]

Stop making selfpity and be a good wife to your husband while waiting for jobs.. Cleaning and doing household chores will make you forget homesickness...

Once you are legal to work, find a job immediately.

There will never be a solution if you dont do anything.

Do you have a can of whoop a$$ to go with that? Geez.

Diana

Of course.. everyone is different.. some may be emotional but some are not.. Making yourself busy at home makes you feel useful and important.. Based on her comment below..

" i have been 7 months here i don´t want to be a pain in the ... for my husband but i don´t know how to move on and not feeling this way..."

And too she will be doing for her husband not for anyone.. Whats wrong with that? whats wrong on making sure that she take care of her husband really good? Once her husband appreciate everything she does she will feel great and important, and the sense of belongingness in one place..

Talking to family back home via internet, will help you overcome homsickness.. Yes this may take time but if you keep thinking about it..You will not get over it.. Homesickness is just in the state of mind. If you keep thinking about it, it will just affect your relationship with your husband.. Remember not to let negative thoughts flow in your mind..

I don't think that missing home makes you self-pitying as well as a bad wife. Moreover, a good husband will not seat on his butt waiting to be taken care of knowing his wife is homesick. Last year when I was living with my fiance in the US, I was homesick, it was right around Thanksgiving. And you know what helped me get over it? Not working (I did have a job at the time) or taking care of him, but him stepping in to take care of me. By just listening to how I feel and coming up with things for us to do so I will get distracted from sad feelings he made me feel so important and special. And that's a man I would want in my life - one that will be there for my good days and my bad days!

[Krikit 1,164]

I don't think that missing home makes you self-pitying as well as a bad wife. Moreover, a good husband will not seat on his butt waiting to be taken care of knowing his wife is homesick. Last year when I was living with my fiance in the US, I was homesick, it was right around Thanksgiving. And you know what helped me get over it? Not working (I did have a job at the time) or taking care of him, but him stepping in to take care of me. By just listening to how I feel and coming up with things for us to do so I will get distracted from sad feelings he made me feel so important and special. And that's a man I would want in my life - one that will be there for my good days and my bad days!

Absolutely. A big hug and a show of understanding goes a long way to helping you get through those sad times. Sounds like you have a great husband, Ana.

Tanya, I found the first year to be really terrible with the homesickness. As I became familiar with my area I started to feel more at home. My husband did a lot of research to find me places where I might be able to find the kind of foods I am used to/like and would take me there. (Because I had no idea how to get there. lol) I went back home a few times.... that helped a lot. It also helps that we live in a great neighbourhood with wonderful neighbours.

Unfortunately, missing home and the people you left there won't go away. But you do learn to live with it. If you work at building your new life, here, you'll find it won't be so painful.

(((((BIG HUGS)))))

[IAMX 3,055]

Thankfully my SO has lived in another country for several years, and in fact she kind of "grew up" there, so the usual mix between first world and third world things that go on in Greece make her miss the first world stuff. No doubt, she will feel some homesickness, but she's way too optimistic about what she is gaining. She could have, say, moved back to Germany and we could have filed from there, and I guess EU agreements have it so it wouldn't have been a problem whatsoever. There are some elements of township and community that is in Greece that she won't get here, and I think those sort of things might cause some homesickness. One thing I'm sure she won't miss is neighbors asking her why her windows are open and prying.

I guess I'm very lucky in being with someone who already knows what homesickness feels like and is a very rational person.

Edited October 1, 2008 by SRVT

[Krikit 1,164]

Trust me, SRVT. Having experience with homesickness does not make things easier.