Engagement Over....

[KimandRuss 0]

Awww Michelle, i'm sorry.

I remember you talking about last year's 'discussion' and thinking to myself that he doesn't sound like a very loving man but this is the internet and people can misconstrue words at times so I just kept my thoughts to myself. However, after this latest post I need to tell you that although I only know you from here, I can already tell that you deserve better than this man and what he's willing to give you and your daughter. And i'm not just talking monetary support. You deserve so much more than what he's willing to give.

It sounds like you have a fantasic supportive family and you already know how beautiful your little angel is. You will be just fine.

As far as the child support goes... it's absolutely ridiculous to assume that one parent should not have to pay because they are not there to raise the child. This man obviously cares little about his child or supporting her.

No army on this planet could keep me from my children...in any Country.

[akdiver 3]

This man obviously cares little about his child or supporting her.

Bingo! Ergo, he should not pay.

Think of him as a sperm donor.

If you went to the sperm bank and got a donation, and you were able to track the donor down somehow, do you think he should have to pay?? I don't think he should have to pay. I don't see a case like this as being any different.

Of course, even out and out sperm donors, people who have never even had sex with a child's mother have had to pay up.

Here's a case where a sperm donor has to pay simply because he interacted with the resulting children:

http://ancpr.com/blog/2007/12/03/lesbians-...the-daily-mail/

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-49...ian-mother.html

It seems to me that if that's the case, if one doesn't want to interact with the resulting child(ren), one should not pay.

Another example:

Court Says Sperm Donor Must Pay Child Support

Being a sperm donor makes a man a biological father, but it also may make him financially responsible for his offspring, according to a New Mexico Appeals Court that sided with a mother seeking child support from a man with who fathered her two children via artificial insemination. ABC News has details about this ruling that changes the landscape for men who had previously been anonymous.

Overall, it seems that many courts are accepting the idea that a sperm donor can be forced to pay money if he interacts with child. To hold that he must pay money even if he DOES NOT interact with the child just just wanting to have your cake and eat it too. It's just unreasonable.

It's no wonder men go to prostitutes. Even though they still have to pay, it's at least just for the product they actually want and it's certainly one way to avoid this other BS. Of course, women recognize the benefits of making prostitution illegal - it protects their child support racket by encouraging men to have sex with people who can charge them far MORE money in the name of child support.

It's so unfortunate.

Edited October 14, 2008 by akdiver

[Krikit 1,164]

It seems to me that if that's the case, if one doesn't want to interact with the resulting child(ren), one should not pay have unprotected sex.

fixx0red.

[DerekJ 0]

Culture or Marriage should not play a role in a father's love toward his CHILD. That is ridiculous. You were right to not want to marry this person, any good man would want to be part of his child's life regardless of ALL other circumstances.

Jonas

Unfortunately, that is the way it has been in Japan. My fiancee's ex-husband had no responsibility for their son after the divorce. She raised him to adulthood without support of any kind. Things are slowly changing in this regard. Only recently was there a change in the law that allowed wives to be entitled to a portion of the husband's pension after a divorce.

Edited October 15, 2008 by DerekJ

[akdiver 3]

Why should you magically feel "love" for something just because you had sex with its mother?

Edited October 16, 2008 by akdiver

[Jamie76 0]

Why should you magically feel "love" for something just because you had sex with its mother?

From your responses to this posting, it almost sounds like you are trying to defend your own actions. Something you want to tell us?

[KimandRuss 0]

just....wow

Love has nothing to do with it. If you can be so cold as to not want to get to know or love a human being created by you and another person that you chose to lay down with, well that's one thing. But not to live up to your responsibilities because of that lack of 'heart' is wrong...any way you try to spell it out for us.

According to you, because a custodial parent actually takes the responsibility of their actions and cares for this child (not an "it" btw) that they lay down to create, then they should be the only one financially responsible? That makes no sense.

Just because a woman has a uterus does not make her any more responsible for a child that was conceived by both of you.

My guess is you either have no children ...or perhaps have some you don't want anything to do with or to be paying for. Sad.

Anyway, rather than continuing to hijack this thread with more nonsense, I just want to wish you, and your beautiful child, the very best.

[akdiver 3]

From your responses to this posting, it almost sounds like you are trying to defend your own actions. Something you want to tell us?

Like what??

[akdiver 3]

Love has nothing to do with it. If you can be so cold as to not want to get to know or love a human being created by you and another person that you chose to lay down with, well that's one thing. But not to live up to your responsibilities because of that lack of 'heart' is wrong...any way you try to spell it out for us.

uh...ok

According to you, because a custodial parent actually takes the responsibility of their actions and cares for this child (not an "it" btw) that they lay down to create, then they should be the only one financially responsible? That makes no sense.

It makes perfect sense. Why pay for something for which one is receiving no benefit? THAT makes no sense.

Just because a woman has a uterus does not make her any more responsible for a child that was conceived by both of you.

No, but taking custody of what comes out of it does.

Anyway, rather than continuing to hijack this thread with more nonsense, I just want to wish you, and your beautiful child, the very best.

And which child would that be??

[Dau_Que 0]

akdiver, to be frank, unless you're a judge in a family court that handles divorces, your opinion about child support is mute.

That's WHY you're NOT such a judge. Because you're dense to be one! Evolution will find its way to weed out idiots like you though.

PS> I wonder what akdiver's father did to him when he was young.

On second thought, who cares!

Thank you all for wasting 2 minutes reading my entry about this "troll" akdiver.

[MichelleN 0]

As far as the child support goes... it's absolutely ridiculous to assume that one parent should not have to pay because they are not there to raise the child. This man obviously cares little about his child or supporting her.

Well I don't know how much of it is him not caring as opposed to the intense pressure he has from the cultural norms he grew up with. When we first found out I was pregnant we had a talk and he made it pretty clear that we needed to handle it like it would be handled in Japan. Either we marry or I abort. Those are the choices unwed couples are given by society. If the woman choices 'none of the above' and wants to keep the baby, then by making that decision she absolves the man of all obligation and responsibility to the child. He did his 'duty' by offering to marry her or pay for the abortion and if she doesn't want that, she's the one with the entire burden of raising the child. So...yeah...I'm still not an expert on Japanese culture, but I've heard from several people that the pressure to do what's the norm or what society deems appropriate is immense and that to do something outside of that is almost unthinkable.

[akdiver 3]

your opinion about child support is mute.

Well, Einstein it's moot, not mute. But thanks for trying.

[Gumbolette 58]

Oh, I;m sorry about this. I hope you'll never let this thing affect you for being a good mom to your baby.

My best hopes for you and your daughter.

[Cham 3]

your opinion about child support is mute.

Well, Einstein it's moot, not mute. But thanks for trying.

If you are old enough to stick it in then YOU are old enough to be an adult and deal with the consequences of sex or WHAT comes of it. IF you did not wear a condom THEN you are JUST as responsible for the child as she is for NOT taking birth control. IF you cant handle the consequences; then KEEP IT IN YOUR PANTS OR perform SAFE SEX HABITS and save us tax payers from helping a child YOU helped make!

Do us all a favor and stick to masterbation. This way it saves everyone the heartache of raising a child produced by an idiot.

END of story.

Edited November 4, 2008 by Cham