Affidavit Of Support

[TheZilla 0]

Hey there,

As you know, my UK born husband left me a little over a week ago for another girl, without warning. I stupidly trusted that he would take care of the accounts in both of our names. The money in our joint bank account was entirely his but now I've gotten a notice from the bank telling me that he has made charges on his debit card without sufficient funds being in the bank to cover them. Hundreds of dollars in charges, then loads of money in penalties for it. He said it was a mistake, that he's waiting for a check to clear, and then he'll close it out. Meanwhile, he had previously intimated it was all taken care of.

He's out of work at the moment and I don't know when he'll be working again or for how long. I don't want to be spiteful at this point in my desire to somehow cancel my affidavit of support, now I'm truly worried he's going to screw me over financially or that I'll be responsible for his debts or stuff like that. He still has not told me if he's filed for divorce or when he intends to, he's not responding to me and I have no way of contacting him except for email. I would do the divorce myself but I simply don't have the money for the filing fees, all my money is in assets and stocks.

I am trying so hard to find out what to do via the internet but I keep coming up short. Someone told me there's no way I CAN pull my sponsorship of him and I feel sick about it because I'm so afraid his carelessness with money management and lack of work is going to come back on me. Does anyone know what I can do? Any help would be greatly appreciated at this point.

--Laurie

[TheZilla 0]

Hey there,

As you know, my UK born husband left me a little over a week ago for another girl, without warning. I stupidly trusted that he would take care of the accounts in both of our names. The money in our joint bank account was entirely his but now I've gotten a notice from the bank telling me that he has made charges on his debit card without sufficient funds being in the bank to cover them. Hundreds of dollars in charges, then loads of money in penalties for it. He said it was a mistake, that he's waiting for a check to clear, and then he'll close it out. Meanwhile, he had previously intimated it was all taken care of.

He's out of work at the moment and I don't know when he'll be working again or for how long. I don't want to be spiteful at this point in my desire to somehow cancel my affidavit of support, now I'm truly worried he's going to screw me over financially or that I'll be responsible for his debts or stuff like that. He still has not told me if he's filed for divorce or when he intends to, he's not responding to me and I have no way of contacting him except for email. I would do the divorce myself but I simply don't have the money for the filing fees, all my money is in assets and stocks.

I am trying so hard to find out what to do via the internet but I keep coming up short. Someone told me there's no way I CAN pull my sponsorship of him and I feel sick about it because I'm so afraid his carelessness with money management and lack of work is going to come back on me. Does anyone know what I can do? Any help would be greatly appreciated at this point.

--Laurie

I'm worried about my credit rating as well and what effects his carelessness might have on it because of things in both of our names. He's in college and he's acting like I'm asking way too much of him because he's so busy and I just want to scream because I feel that if he'd really done any thinking about his choice, he should have realized there would be a ton of things he HAD to take care of if he wanted to leave this way. I just feel sick inside.

[Caladan 19]

You'd have the credit card and bank problems regardless of whether you had the affidavit, even if he was an American citizen, and they're the most pressing problems, so take care of those first. Even if you got rid of the sponsorship tomorrow, you'd still have the bank fees. So one thing at a time, for your own sanity.

Talk to your bank; you need to figure out what to do to separate your finances and credit histories. Since you say all the money is his, the important thing seems to be for you to get your name off of the account, and less about whether he wants to run up hundreds in fees.

Have you talked to a divorce attorney yet? They can probably guide you better on this than anyone else.

[morocco4ever 63]

I does sound as if you need to get your name off of these bank accounts ASAP, but as long as you are married you will have the normal problems that all american/american marriages do.

I remember years ago that some people were posting in the classified ads something in the effect of "I, (state name), am not responsible for any debts incurred by (state name) as of (state date). I had heard that this would clear up any sort of responsiblity of debt incurred by the person they are divorcing. Of course I really have no idea if this is true. But hopefully some here will have some idea on this or any other idea that can help.

I got stuck with $8000.00 of my ex's debt to the IRS. He was self employed and wouldn't pay his taxes. In the divorce decree it states that he is responsible for the debt. But I found out the hard way that the IRS doesn't have to follow the divorce decree, and found it was easier to go after me to collect because I was a responsible tax payer. Every year they would collect any taxes due to me to cover his taxes. Kind of tough on a single mother of 4. But worth it to get rid of his sorry A$$.

[diadromous mermaid 36]

If he's out of work, and overdrawing his bank account, I wouldn't wait for him to make the move. Sounds like he too could say he can't afford to petition, but you have to do something to separate your finances. If you have assets and stocks, can't you sell some stocks to drum up the money to file? Or, alternatively, find a family lawyer that will at least give youa consultation (first hour is often free) to advise you on how to go about it.

Hey there,

As you know, my UK born husband left me a little over a week ago for another girl, without warning. I stupidly trusted that he would take care of the accounts in both of our names. The money in our joint bank account was entirely his but now I've gotten a notice from the bank telling me that he has made charges on his debit card without sufficient funds being in the bank to cover them. Hundreds of dollars in charges, then loads of money in penalties for it. He said it was a mistake, that he's waiting for a check to clear, and then he'll close it out. Meanwhile, he had previously intimated it was all taken care of.

He's out of work at the moment and I don't know when he'll be working again or for how long. I don't want to be spiteful at this point in my desire to somehow cancel my affidavit of support, now I'm truly worried he's going to screw me over financially or that I'll be responsible for his debts or stuff like that. He still has not told me if he's filed for divorce or when he intends to, he's not responding to me and I have no way of contacting him except for email. I would do the divorce myself but I simply don't have the money for the filing fees, all my money is in assets and stocks.

I am trying so hard to find out what to do via the internet but I keep coming up short. Someone told me there's no way I CAN pull my sponsorship of him and I feel sick about it because I'm so afraid his carelessness with money management and lack of work is going to come back on me. Does anyone know what I can do? Any help would be greatly appreciated at this point.

--Laurie

[Caladan 19]

*

Edited September 28, 2008 by Caladan

[Sylvia_n_Joseph 3]

Most states have low cost access to divorce/separation forms and many courts have people to help those that can't afford a lawyer to fill out the forms. I really think you can't afford NOT to file. The longer you delay the more of a mess you can find yourself in.

[GiGii 4]

Since you don't have kids or assets together (like houses, cars, etc), I believe for a simple divorce you can self file. It will save you a ton in legal fees, do some google searches for forms.

[nane1104 146]

I think too the first step for you is to separate your finances and get off of all joint accounts!

As far as the divorce goes: Maybe this is too early to be thinking about that, but maybe after a little while your husband will be more willing to communicate again and then you might wanna consider to share a lawyer...if you all don't have other major issues going on.

My sis has done that and it worked out just fine!

All the best to you!!!

[sereia 0]

I'm sure it depends on the bank but everyone I've read about says you cannot just take your name off a joint account. Most require that the account be simply closed. And since you're name is on the account, you can close it yourself even if he was the one who opened it in the first place! I would instantly sell some stocks, close that account (and any account that you have joint), and file for divorce ASAP.

Edited October 1, 2008 by sereia

[cdn_in_wa 1]

And even after you are divorced, it seems you are not completely free of the other person's fiscal irresponsibility.

My neighbor's credit report contained information about his ex-wife's bankruptcy (even though his ex had remarried at the time she filed bankruptcy). It was still posted on his credit report.

[TheZilla 0]

Just wanted to update and say that the bank fiasco is over, he closed the account today. He ran up over $800 in overdraft and fees, the bank was hounding me with notices and all of it was him taking this new girl out on the town. He had to pay over $200 just in penalties, but that's his business. I think he's a moron (obviously).

I'm still worried about the affidavit of support. I re-read the form and I swore to be responsible for three years. Does that still count after the divorce? I'm afraid he's going to screw up and take out student loans or if he's out of work that he'll go for unemployment or assistance, and then I will have to pay for it. I'm desperate to get some peace of mind and know that I can just be cut off from any responsibility, but I can't find any information on what my options are. I've looked all over the net, and I tried calling that stupid USCIS number again (though, I should have known better).

[TracyTN 237]

I thought this had been covered in your other thread?

http://www.visajourney.com/forums/index.ph...t&p=2236461

[wowswift 3]

Just wanted to update and say that the bank fiasco is over, he closed the account today. He ran up over $800 in overdraft and fees, the bank was hounding me with notices and all of it was him taking this new girl out on the town. He had to pay over $200 just in penalties, but that's his business. I think he's a moron (obviously).

I'm still worried about the affidavit of support. I re-read the form and I swore to be responsible for three years. Does that still count after the divorce? I'm afraid he's going to screw up and take out student loans or if he's out of work that he'll go for unemployment or assistance, and then I will have to pay for it. I'm desperate to get some peace of mind and know that I can just be cut off from any responsibility, but I can't find any information on what my options are. I've looked all over the net, and I tried calling that stupid USCIS number again (though, I should have known better).

If he got student loans or unemployment, it won't come back to you. Only "means tested" benefits. Which is more like food stamps and such. He probably won't qualify for those. Look at what your state requires to receive those types of benefits.

[Beauty for Ashes 257]

Just wanted to update and say that the bank fiasco is over, he closed the account today. He ran up over $800 in overdraft and fees, the bank was hounding me with notices and all of it was him taking this new girl out on the town. He had to pay over $200 just in penalties, but that's his business. I think he's a moron (obviously).

I'm still worried about the affidavit of support. I re-read the form and I swore to be responsible for three years. Does that still count after the divorce? I'm afraid he's going to screw up and take out student loans or if he's out of work that he'll go for unemployment or assistance, and then I will have to pay for it. I'm desperate to get some peace of mind and know that I can just be cut off from any responsibility, but I can't find any information on what my options are. I've looked all over the net, and I tried calling that stupid USCIS number again (though, I should have known better).

I am so sorry Zilla. I just lost a baby 2 weeks ago so I havent been the shiniest ball on the christmas tree but I DID go through something similar 5 years ago. This is what I THINK you should do. I wish there was a way to go to his school and contact him through the school and say you need an appointment to talk to him with a counselor ( counseling provided) . Tell him you will help get a divorce with him with a legal parealegal but you need to do it now. Carefully document what he has done to you and IMMEDIATELY send it to INS with an infopass appointment. Alot of people are telling you you have no recourse. But I say differently . Document the wreckless spending, the infidelity and everything else he has done and TELL an INS person this. Perhaps it isnt a LEGAL answer BUT its emotional healing. Lets just say he came back...people cheat all the time and it wont stop you from adjusting with him if lets just say for &*(& and giggles he wanted to come back and lets just suppose you worked things out. But baby, listen. Don't make it easy for him to be here on your back and on your heart and he adjusts and goes on with her. I wish there was a way for you to KNOW who SHE was and my guess she is someone at the school. You have a RIGHT to talk to HER and a right to get your closure. After all , this was YOUR story not hers and yes I am SORRY. I am not going to tell you that life is fair. Zilla, sometimes very good people get it in the butt. I want you to know that I feel for you. BUT.. I was very hurt by someone who did similar things and the closure you need is at the INS window. They might not do ####### to him but when he goes to adjust on his own or with someone else OR gets his citizenship, you NO LONGER ARE A BLIP ON THE RADAR screen. No metter WHAT anyone says, I personally feel that you were used for papers NO MATTER WHAT ANYONE ELSE SAYS and not only is it not fair.. I dont think ANYTHING he did was fair. You werent his ticket to a more exciting life. Marriage is about honesty, love and openness. Not all for his own. Make your info pass appointment. Ask to speak to a fraud investigator. Tell them he is with someone else and tell them your story. And tell anyone you want to YOUR STORY. You have a right to be pissed. You dont have to be logical . You have a right to throw his underwear out the window, to cry , to grieve and to feel wronged. You have a right. You are in your right. And I am so sorry Zilla this has happened to you

But I personally feel , as a former victim of someone running around on me when I gave them my world, my money and my time and my heart, that you SHOULD talk to someone at INS and put it on record. And dont worry about being nice anymore. If he loved you and wanted you to have closure.. even if he didnt want to be with you anymore, he wouldnt jack up debts , overrun the debit card and leave you with no goodbye. You didnt deserve that.

Please make your appointment with the INS and at least tell them what he did. Even if you cant do jack, you made them aware of who he was and what he did and you arent just sitting there being nice while he acts like an ###