For the U.S. WOMEN filing for foreign MEN

[USbride 0]

As you can see by my user name, I'm a US woman petitioning for a Colombian man. We fell in love while I was stationed over there last year for four months. I am 5 years older than him, but we never even think about it.

Me and my daughter have been down there a couple of times to visit him, and me and him both balled our eyes out everytime I had to leave. This last time I left my daughter started to cry too because she didn't want to leave her "daddy". This made it even harder on both of us. I can't wait for the day when I no longer have to leave him alone. He was denied for a tourist visa, so I will not be able to see hime again until the interview, so I am praying that it comes soon.

[ladybee 0]

Hi Bug , this a good topic Well I am a US citizen going to file a k-1 visa and marry my guy. My guy is 33 and iam 38 years young. My guy is from Burkina Faso, West Africa we met with friends. And know each other for 2 years. and from what I read on here most people who have age differences dont have a problem to get a visa. Just as long as your comfortable then who cares. I believe you will be fine.

[Laura+Tom 2]

I practically filed for myself lol even though I am the beneficiary, do I count!

[JLRSRK 0]

Hey there!

I'm the female USC petitioning for my 3 years younger Indian fiance! We never think abt our age difference!!! So far things have gone smoothly in this process. He goes for his interview on 10/8. Crossing our fingers all goes well! Welcome to VJ - this is the best site out there!

Good luck on your journey!

Where is your fiance from?

[HannahP 119]

"All we need is love" (Jonh Lennon)...No age, no country, nothing matters when you find the real and last love...Go ahead!!!!!!!!!!!!! Best wishes!!!!!!!

Errrr, sometimes I wonder whether such off-hand statements are bad for the forum. Obviously, love is not all that you need. Age differences can affect a relationship, although it may not affect your visa status. (Bona fides, etc.) Sometimes, age works against you. *shrugs* My husband and I are only 1.5 years apart but I've noticed it because I'm still in university and he's graduated and working; our "age" means that we're in two different spots in our lives. I can imagine that it's only intensified with bigger age gaps -- younger people wanting to live, to party, to explore, while older people want to settle down and start a family.

[jundp 191]

Hmmm....I am 10 years older than my husband and we did not have any problems. Not with the visa process, not with our families, not with each other. Our K1 process took almost a year from filing to his POE, but part of that was delay on our part (on purpose) because of his grad school work.

The important thing to remember, aside from being able to prove a bona fide relationship, is that you two discuss everything the way you would in any relationship (regardless of age difference).

I wish you great luck on your journey!

Oh, I'm USC and my husband is German.

[*JG* 2]

12 years for us. No issues.

As long as you can show your proof.......... you are both adults........what's the problem?

I wish you luck.

[kk_mine 0]

A friend of mine (from childhood) & her brother in law introduced us. We are only one year apart. I prefer a man closer to my age (but that is just me).If you both are happy, Great! age should not be a problem! Wish you both nothing but the best!

By the way my friend her and her husband he is 20smthn and she is 40 smthn!

Our SO's are from Nigeria.

Edited October 2, 2008 by kk_mine

[venusfire503 54]

Hi gals! I am new to the site, and was trying to find posts from U.S. women filing for foreign men. I was hoping to get a kind of poll started: What country your man is from, age difference in any, how you met, etc.....

For myself, I am a little worried about the age difference. I am OLDER than he is. I know this is OK with men marrying women but any older gals snagged a younger foreign man with no troubles? Could use some words of encouragement from those who have gotten through the process without snags because of this. Is this age thing a real big issue? He is 21 and I am 35, what do you think?

Would love to hear from the women here and any advice for a newbie starting out, what were the biggest obstacles in your opinion? Thanks alot!

Bug

Hi - I (USC) am 11 years older than my husband. We met online (MySpace) while I was in the middle of a divorce. Surprise - we fell in love! The issue of age never came up during our K-1 processing. And I know it differs in every case, but he got his visa and was here (from what I believe is considered a 'high fraud' consulate) just under three months from when I sent the very first packet of paperwork! Now, that isn't always the case, no matter the situation, but I wanted to let you know there's hope. He also got his 'green card' about 5-1/2 months after we sent the paperwork. I think the most important thing is to make sure to have lots of really good proof of a valid relationship. I think it also is the luck of the draw on who you encounter in the process. The lady who interviewed him for the visa kept him there well over an hour and kept telling him the relationship "didn't make sense" and asked him the same questions over and over. He never wavered, and just said "I love her".

Now for the 'bad news'. He had no problems getting the visa, getting here, etc. BUT, the immigration officer at the POE was a jerk to us. She grilled him a long time, and then called me into her office to let me know that I didn't have to marry him, could send him home without penalty, etc. She insulted me, and made it seem like there was no way such a young, good looking guy would want a divorced older woman unless it was for her money. I wasn't prepared for that. I also encountered bad attitudes in some people (friends, family, strangers) about why I couldn't just marry someone in the US. My dad asked what I was going to do when I went to visit him - change his diapers or something? That was kind of funny, in a way (looking back on it). You'll learn to ignore people if you don't already, and it will subside considerably as time goes on and people see that you are (gasp!) actually really in love and happy, too!

Keep your chin up, and remember we are all in this together and can lean on each other. It's SO worth it! He's been here almost 2 years, and we're so happy we're together.

[*JG* 2]

Lillovbug......tell us about you. Why the questions?

[LilLoveBug 0]

Hi gals! I am new to the site, and was trying to find posts from U.S. women filing for foreign men. I was hoping to get a kind of poll started: What country your man is from, age difference in any, how you met, etc.....

For myself, I am a little worried about the age difference. I am OLDER than he is. I know this is OK with men marrying women but any older gals snagged a younger foreign man with no troubles? Could use some words of encouragement from those who have gotten through the process without snags because of this. Is this age thing a real big issue? He is 21 and I am 35, what do you think?

Would love to hear from the women here and any advice for a newbie starting out, what were the biggest obstacles in your opinion? Thanks alot!

Bug

Hi - I (USC) am 11 years older than my husband. We met online (MySpace) while I was in the middle of a divorce. Surprise - we fell in love! The issue of age never came up during our K-1 processing. And I know it differs in every case, but he got his visa and was here (from what I believe is considered a 'high fraud' consulate) just under three months from when I sent the very first packet of paperwork! Now, that isn't always the case, no matter the situation, but I wanted to let you know there's hope. He also got his 'green card' about 5-1/2 months after we sent the paperwork. I think the most important thing is to make sure to have lots of really good proof of a valid relationship. I think it also is the luck of the draw on who you encounter in the process. The lady who interviewed him for the visa kept him there well over an hour and kept telling him the relationship "didn't make sense" and asked him the same questions over and over. He never wavered, and just said "I love her".

Now for the 'bad news'. He had no problems getting the visa, getting here, etc. BUT, the immigration officer at the POE was a jerk to us. She grilled him a long time, and then called me into her office to let me know that I didn't have to marry him, could send him home without penalty, etc. She insulted me, and made it seem like there was no way such a young, good looking guy would want a divorced older woman unless it was for her money. I wasn't prepared for that. I also encountered bad attitudes in some people (friends, family, strangers) about why I couldn't just marry someone in the US. My dad asked what I was going to do when I went to visit him - change his diapers or something? That was kind of funny, in a way (looking back on it). You'll learn to ignore people if you don't already, and it will subside considerably as time goes on and people see that you are (gasp!) actually really in love and happy, too!

Keep your chin up, and remember we are all in this together and can lean on each other. It's SO worth it! He's been here almost 2 years, and we're so happy we're together.

What a wonderful post! Thank you!

You know, I thought alot about your 'bad news' paragraph. Alot of my friends asked me - why can't you just find a man here in America? Closer to home, no hassle. I actually wrote that in my letter of how we met for the I-129f because it seems to be on people's minds why we need to 'choose' foreigners to marry. I wrote to them that no matter where I went in America or any country, I would never find another man who was more perfect for me.

I am also a 'divorced older woman', also in the middle of divorce when I met my man. (seems to be a theme running through VJ with that, but good to see since it is a common thing and won't stir up too much additional trouble). I also have money and he has none. I am sure he likes that fact, who wouldn't? But I am just sorry to tell the USCIS but no one is perfect and has the perfect case. If I wasn't rich and I was poor, then they would suspect I TOOK money to marry him, how can you win? Do you have to make just the right amount, and what would that be??? So, I am rich and he is poor - how do I prove he isn't using me for my money? I CAN'T. I only know what I feel and what we share together privately, whatever judgments outsiders make are not my responsibility.

I also don't see why an older woman with a younger man is a problem when us girls hit our prime around 30 and men at 20, if ya know what I mean. hahaha

Bug

[Morning Sunshine 0]

Hi gals! I am new to the site, and was trying to find posts from U.S. women filing for foreign men. I was hoping to get a kind of poll started: What country your man is from, age difference in any, how you met, etc.....

For myself, I am a little worried about the age difference. I am OLDER than he is. I know this is OK with men marrying women but any older gals snagged a younger foreign man with no troubles? Could use some words of encouragement from those who have gotten through the process without snags because of this. Is this age thing a real big issue? He is 21 and I am 35, what do you think?

Would love to hear from the women here and any advice for a newbie starting out, what were the biggest obstacles in your opinion? Thanks alot!

Bug

I am older than my man too but only by a year or two. Anyway, love is not about age....it is about how you feel with your soulmate. We met through a matrimonial service. We get along fine without age being important, main thing is the distance which is affecting us. Where is your man from? Good luck on your journey and welcome here!

Edited October 3, 2008 by ~Dream Love~

[KimandRuss 0]

I already answered the question in another post but I will add to it here...

Whether or not you'll have issues at interview stage has everything to do with the Consulate you are going through. At some Consulates you are 'guilty until proven innocent'. The significant age difference may just give them fuel for their fire in claims that you are not bonafide and that he is just marrying you for the $. As I stated in the other thread... gather all proof of ongoing relationship you can.

btw... my soon to be husband is 9 years younger than I. We met 10 years ago, when he was just 19 and still in University and I still happily married to my ex. We began a wonderful friendship that has only blossomed throughout the years. He arrived just last week on his K1 visa. We had no problems going through NZ at all. We don't even really acknowledge the age difference, unless we're being smart a$$es.

As far as 'choosing' someone from my own Country. I hardly 'chose' to fall in love with this man. I fell in love with him and him with me. I don't understand what's so hard for others to get or why they think it's any of their business in the first place. Luckily, our family and friends are nothing but supportive of us. Just smile at the ignorant.. it pi$$ses them off.

good luck

[saraswati007 0]

The best thing about VisaJourney and the forums is that the particular emotions surrounding your relationship don't matter at all -- this is a great place to help get through the bureaucratic process of filing for a visa. So, HannaP, I disagree that there are any "good" or "bad" posts for the forum. USCIS doesn't care about love; similarly, it doesn't care about age difference. What it cares about is whether or not the relationship is genuine -- whether the relationship is based on love, or is arranged. I've known people who were madly in love, the same age and stage, but didn't get approved. I've known people who met through arrangement only a few times, but were well matched and approved.

Sometimes, yes, age works against you. I know that I find most men my age to be much too immature for my taste!

"All we need is love" (Jonh Lennon)...No age, no country, nothing matters when you find the real and last love...Go ahead!!!!!!!!!!!!! Best wishes!!!!!!!

Errrr, sometimes I wonder whether such off-hand statements are bad for the forum. Obviously, love is not all that you need. Age differences can affect a relationship, although it may not affect your visa status. (Bona fides, etc.) Sometimes, age works against you. *shrugs* My husband and I are only 1.5 years apart but I've noticed it because I'm still in university and he's graduated and working; our "age" means that we're in two different spots in our lives. I can imagine that it's only intensified with bigger age gaps -- younger people wanting to live, to party, to explore, while older people want to settle down and start a family.

The best thing about VisaJourney and the forums is that the particular emotions surrounding your relationship don't matter at all -- this is a great place to help get through the bureaucratic process of filing for a visa. So, HannaP, I disagree that there are any "good" or "bad" posts for the forum. USCIS doesn't care about love; similarly, it doesn't care about age difference doesn't matter. What it cares about is whether or not the relationship is genuine -- whether the relationship is based on love, or is arranged. I've known people who were madly in love, the same age and stage, but didn't get approved. I've known people who met through arrangement only a few times, but were well matched and approved.

Sometimes, yes, age works against you. I know that I find most men my age to be much too immature for my taste!

"All we need is love" (Jonh Lennon)...No age, no country, nothing matters when you find the real and last love...Go ahead!!!!!!!!!!!!! Best wishes!!!!!!!

Errrr, sometimes I wonder whether such off-hand statements are bad for the forum. Obviously, love is not all that you need. Age differences can affect a relationship, although it may not affect your visa status. (Bona fides, etc.) Sometimes, age works against you. *shrugs* My husband and I are only 1.5 years apart but I've noticed it because I'm still in university and he's graduated and working; our "age" means that we're in two different spots in our lives. I can imagine that it's only intensified with bigger age gaps -- younger people wanting to live, to party, to explore, while older people want to settle down and start a family.

[RonnieKris 26]

"All we need is love" (Jonh Lennon)...No age, no country, nothing matters when you find the real and last love...Go ahead!!!!!!!!!!!!! Best wishes!!!!!!!

Errrr, sometimes I wonder whether such off-hand statements are bad for the forum. Obviously, love is not all that you need. Age differences can affect a relationship, although it may not affect your visa status. (Bona fides, etc.) Sometimes, age works against you. *shrugs* My husband and I are only 1.5 years apart but I've noticed it because I'm still in university and he's graduated and working; our "age" means that we're in two different spots in our lives. I can imagine that it's only intensified with bigger age gaps -- younger people wanting to live, to party, to explore, while older people want to settle down and start a family.

Speak for yourself! You can "imagine" is correct.