276 QUESTIONS TO ASK BEFORE YOU MARRY

[one...two...tree 2,762]

Marriage preparation classes have questionnaires for couples who wish to get married in the Catholic Church.

We have questionnaires like that in the Lutheran church as well.

I remember this questionnaire my ex had me do at a church (SDA). It was some way of finding out certain compatibilities and what one person thinks of the other. Once she took the test and find out we really have little common interests, and think vastly different about one another, she scratched her head. I just laughed.

A good questionnaire, IMO, would be less a resume and more on finding common values, expectations of a relationship, arguing styles, etc. I think it would be boring to be married to someone who has the same interests and same opinions as myself.

Edited September 25, 2008 by Jabberwocky

[Scott & Lai 12]

Marriage preparation classes have questionnaires for couples who wish to get married in the Catholic Church.

We have questionnaires like that in the Lutheran church as well.

I remember this questionnaire my ex had me do at a church (SDA). It was some way of finding out certain compatibilities and what one person thinks of the other. Once she took the test and find out we really have little common interests, and think vastly different about one another, she scratched her head. I just laughed.

A good questionnaire, IMO, would be less a resume and more on finding common values, expectations of a relationship, arguing styles, etc. I think it would be boring to be married to someone who has the same interests and same opinions as myself.

Yep, that's the kind of questionnaire we had.

[one...two...tree 2,762]

Marriage preparation classes have questionnaires for couples who wish to get married in the Catholic Church.

We have questionnaires like that in the Lutheran church as well.

I remember this questionnaire my ex had me do at a church (SDA). It was some way of finding out certain compatibilities and what one person thinks of the other. Once she took the test and find out we really have little common interests, and think vastly different about one another, she scratched her head. I just laughed.

A good questionnaire, IMO, would be less a resume and more on finding common values, expectations of a relationship, arguing styles, etc. I think it would be boring to be married to someone who has the same interests and same opinions as myself.

Yep, that's the kind of questionnaire we had.

How are you doing, BTW? Howz the new job?

[akdiver 3]

There's one thing that this element overlooks -- first is their compatibility in able to overlook differences. Secondly, relationship elements that manifest themselves later on which can be alleviated on occasion by spending time and knowing each other. In all likelihood, using the McValue Menu style of finding someone, passing one up because of their style of matches is high. Ultimately one has to go with the unavoidable trial-and-error. Statistical probability is great maybe for finding a simple friend with common interests, but something deeper unfortunately requires a lot more time, and in my personal experience eHarmony would have never matched me up with them despite the success we had.

I agree that this method does not mean that everyone who matches up well in your survey is going to be a good match. However, it is good in wedding out those who are NOT a good match. For me - as with most people - there are some traits, qualities or factors that make you an automatic "no go" with me, no matter what other qualities you may have.

Do you smoke? Not interested. Period.

Do you have children? Not interested. Period.

Are you religious? Not interested. Period.

Are you divorced? Not interested. Period.

By the same token, there are some other factors that are strong indicators that you may not be the match for me.

Do you like to travel? No? Well, I love to travel. It is a high priority for me.

Is volunteering your time to the community important to you? It is? Well, I regard this largely as a waste of time.

Do you like adventure and high risk activities? No? Well, I may make you too nervous.

And so forth. It's a perfectly reasonable mechanism for weeding people out, so you can concentrate your time on getting to know those who you have a better chance of forging a future with. Yes, you need to spend plenty of time - and the more efficiency with which you can spend that time, the better your odds of being successful may be.

[IAMX 3,055]

There's one thing that this element overlooks -- first is their compatibility in able to overlook differences. Secondly, relationship elements that manifest themselves later on which can be alleviated on occasion by spending time and knowing each other. In all likelihood, using the McValue Menu style of finding someone, passing one up because of their style of matches is high. Ultimately one has to go with the unavoidable trial-and-error. Statistical probability is great maybe for finding a simple friend with common interests, but something deeper unfortunately requires a lot more time, and in my personal experience eHarmony would have never matched me up with them despite the success we had.

I agree that this method does not mean that everyone who matches up well in your survey is going to be a good match. However, it is good in wedding out those who are NOT a good match. For me - as with most people - there are some traits, qualities or factors that make you an automatic "no go" with me, no matter what other qualities you may have.

Do you smoke? Not interested. Period.

Do you have children? Not interested. Period.

Are you religious? Not interested. Period.

Are you divorced? Not interested. Period.

By the same token, there are some other factors that are strong indicators that you may not be the match for me.

Do you like to travel? No? Well, I love to travel. It is a high priority for me.

Is volunteering your time to the community important to you? It is? Well, I regard this largely as a waste of time.

Do you like adventure and high risk activities? No? Well, I may make you too nervous.

And so forth. It's a perfectly reasonable mechanism for weeding people out, so you can concentrate your time on getting to know those who you have a better chance of forging a future with. Yes, you need to spend plenty of time - and the more efficiency with which you can spend that time, the better your odds of being successful may be.

Whoa, we match perfectly.

How about a gay wedding?

Edited September 25, 2008 by SRVT

[Ling Ling 22]

It's been said that, "When you have 2 people in business that always agree on everything, you have 1 too many people in the business".

But marriage is much more than a business. While the questionnaire does uncover many possible pitfalls of marriages, it doesn't give any clue as to how to

manage the answers, or how to ask the questions.

Obviously, there are some people that would be happy to give this questionnaire to a potential spouse, and there are some people that would happily fill it in.

There are some people that want nothing more than someone who lives and breathes exactly as they do...and that's fine.

But there are also some very successful marriages where the only thing they have in common is mutual respect, and love.

A good marriage defines itself.

...the journey continues.

[Ban Hammer 13,345]

278. do you like guns.

[Amby 490]

I think...

do you lack ambition? if so, bye.

are you a lazy azz? if so, bye.

are you lame? if so, bye.

are you a perfectionist? if not, bye.

will you do whatever it takes to make it to the top? if not, bye.

are you messy? if so, bye.

will you be willing to eat a wide variety of wacky foods with me? if not, bye.

are you well educated? if not, bye.

are you an idiot? if so, bye.

I have so many more.

btw I think that Tucker Max had the right idea with his dating application. Scroll to the bottom of the page for the app.

http://www.tuckermax.com/archives/entries/...plication.phtml

[Ilya R. 0]

I think...

do you lack ambition? if so, bye.

are you a lazy azz? if so, bye.

are you lame? if so, bye.

are you a perfectionist? if not, bye.

will you do whatever it takes to make it to the top? if not, bye.

are you messy? if so, bye.

will you be willing to eat a wide variety of wacky foods with me? if not, bye.

are you well educated? if not, bye.

are you an idiot? if so, bye.

I have so many more.

btw I think that Tucker Max had the right idea with his dating application. Scroll to the bottom of the page for the app.

http://www.tuckermax.com/archives/entries/...plication.phtml

Wow, nice list....

[Sister Fracas 5]

Too many questions....

[Jenn! 918]

Too many questions....

I would only need one question answered: "Are you the type of person to make a long list of questions for me before we get married?"

Any future husband of mine would not even dream of asking me 276 questions because I wouldn't be with someone who would desire to do that in the first place!

Anything you need to know about a person you can find out gradually as you get to know each other better.

Lists in general tend to bother me though.

[one...two...tree 2,762]

It's been said that, "When you have 2 people in business that always agree on everything, you have 1 too many people in the business".

But marriage is much more than a business. While the questionnaire does uncover many possible pitfalls of marriages, it doesn't give any clue as to how to

manage the answers, or how to ask the questions.

Obviously, there are some people that would be happy to give this questionnaire to a potential spouse, and there are some people that would happily fill it in.

There are some people that want nothing more than someone who lives and breathes exactly as they do...and that's fine.

But there are also some very successful marriages where the only thing they have in common is mutual respect, and love.

A good marriage defines itself.

...the journey continues.

Excellent post.

[Sister Fracas 5]

Too many questions....

I would only need one question answered: "Are you the type of person to make a long list of questions for me before we get married?"

Any future husband of mine would not even dream of asking me 276 questions because I wouldn't be with someone who would desire to do that in the first place!

Anything you need to know about a person you can find out gradually as you get to know each other better.

Lists in general tend to bother me though.

Lists are best kept for the grocery store or to-do lists on cleaning day! lol

[almaty 19]

Too many questions....

I would only need one question answered: "Are you the type of person to make a long list of questions for me before we get married?"

Any future husband of mine would not even dream of asking me 276 questions because I wouldn't be with someone who would desire to do that in the first place!

Anything you need to know about a person you can find out gradually as you get to know each other better.

Lists in general tend to bother me though.

\pwned by sister jenn..

[Pinocchio Liberal 268]

You ask the questions. What if they a lie?