Marriage collapse before AOS... still here in US and seeking advice from VJer's

[Fuzzy 0]

Is there another option perhaps? Do you not belong the the EU as a citizen of the UK? It would seem logical to me to go to another country in the EU and work/live if you don't want to go home.. start over for sure, but in a new place other than either the US or UK?

It's not that like I want to avoid England at all costs! I love my home country and miss it like crazy.....it's just, well...I would like to have the option to live and work in either the UK or the USA. Is that greedy of me? I mean I followed all the rules to get here.... it's not my fault things didn't go right in the relationship between my wife and I . In hindsight perhaps the best thing for me to have done would have been to have gone home earlier to avoid the ban. That's easier said than done when you're still in love with your wife, despite the fact that she had fallen in love and was sleeping with someone else . That and if by some mirical manage to work things out... reapplying for a visa so we could be together once again didn't seem like the most attractive option. I'm sure everyone on this site knows how hard immigration is. I chose to stay put and see what was going to happen. Maybe I made the wrong choice but it's all said and done now and I can't go back in time....I need to make plans for the future.

Right now I feel I've come along way, given up a lot (too much) to be where I am now and it's heartbreaking to think I would be throwing it all away if I return to England . On op of all this I would have a 10 year ban to a country I love . If it was me who started seeing someone else, causing the marriage to collapse I could understand and accept the ban.... as I didn't the ban seems more than unfair

Edited September 24, 2008 by Fuzzy

[Fuzzy 0]

I would just like to say that I'm sorry that I'm whining.... I know many people on this site are in worse situations than mine.

I would like to thank everyone for their support, advice and comments.

Everyones help is greatly appreciated.

Thanks!

Edited September 24, 2008 by Fuzzy

[Fuzzy 0]

Just a little bump to see if anyone had anything else has to say on this topic

Edited October 1, 2008 by Fuzzy

[Peggy 1]

I would try and stay here and Adjust Status if you can. See what your options are.

Best of Luck

[diadromous mermaid 36]

It is correct that in order to adjust status through marriage, the marriage must be sustaining. Even if by chance your wife was willing to join you in submitting the application (chances are once she realised that her endorsement of the I-864 Affidavit of Support could obliger her to you as a spsonsor for 10 years that might change her willingness).

Whose decision is/was it not to commence the divorce process?

Just a little bump to see if anyone had anything else has to say on this topic

[justashooter 430]

sounds as though you are in a tough situation.

perhaps the best course would be to ask your wife to apply for the adjustment of status with you and to agree to go back to UK once you have the letter of reciept regarding it, but not the actual green card. in this way you would drop your petition on leaving the country, but also avoid the 10 year ban.

when this is done, you could re-enter on VWP and look for a company to sponsor you on a working visa. might take about 2-3 years to make it happen, but then, you are a young man.

[britty 1]

you need good legal advice. find a lawyer immediately and discuss everything with them. Frankly, i think you should fight to stay. your wife chose another man so you are in this position through no fault of your own. good luck.

[Caladan 19]

sounds as though you are in a tough situation.

perhaps the best course would be to ask your wife to apply for the adjustment of status with you and to agree to go back to UK once you have the letter of reciept regarding it, but not the actual green card. in this way you would drop your petition on leaving the country, but also avoid the 10 year ban.

when this is done, you could re-enter on VWP and look for a company to sponsor you on a working visa. might take about 2-3 years to make it happen, but then, you are a young man.

Getting the letter of receipt wouldn't erase the overstay on its own; the AOS would need to be complete for that to happen.

[Jon&Lindsey 0]

I'm so sorry this has happened to you, and I feel bad that you are looking at a ban through no fault of your own. However, if you try to adjust on the basis of a marriage that is clearly over, it seems pretty much like fraud to me, and if you did get an interview, you would basically have to lie about the status of your relationship in order to be approved. If USCIS found out about it, I think there would be worse consequences than the 10 year ban. Although I do feel bad for you that this happened, a UK citizen will only get the privilege of staying and working in the US from a real marriage/job sponsor etc and I feel like you're expecting a bit much to just be able to stay over here when you really have no ties anymore. If I were you I would leave, so then at least you are continuing to do the right thing rather than compounding the situation by lying for the AOS. Anyway, like someone else said, I wonder whether your wife will be so keen to help you once she realizes she has to sign an affidavit commiting her to supporting you for up to 10 years. I do feel sympathy for you, but I don't think attempting the AOS, with the possibility of being caught out as not a true marriage, will help you in the long run.

[diadromous mermaid 36]

You provided nothing in the way of a timeline. We know you married over a year ago. How soon after that did the marriage begin to unravel? Is it that you couldn't submit the AOS package, because she was unwilling to prepare the I-864 for you? You say you had to leave. Is it that she asked you to leave or is it that you chose to move out? There's been little discussion as to divorce. Is that because she has no intentions of divorcing you? Or is it that you were hoping that you would patch things up?

[nane1104 146]

I was wondering too, if there is any possibiliy that you and your wife reconcile? Since there is really no time limit on when you file for AOS, maybe you can wait a little longer and see what happens between the two of you?

Applying for AOS while your marriage is practically only existing on paper would be visa fraud, so really, if your marriage is over, you would HAVE to return to the UK at some point (unless you don't mind becoming illegal latest when you divorce)

All the best to you!

[Fuzzy 0]

I arrived here in on the 1st May 07

We got married on 30th June 07

I moved out on the last weekend in August 07

I started to file for divorce on the 29th February 08

I have all the papers ready, I just need to send them to her to sign then I can file.

At first even though she had fallen for this other guy, slept with him.... I still loved her and thought there might be a possibility of saving the marriage..... I gave her space and time and she only made things worse. She now lives with her new guy and they don't care about anything or anyone but themselves. This has pretty much help me make up my mind. I'm not going to ask her to help me and I'm not going to file for AOS as everyone is right... it's fraud and I don't want to live a lie.

I'm just going to file for divorce, go home and take the ban.

It makes me angry though... I just wish there was a way I could get rid of the ban or reduce the sentence. Its not me that's committed adultery yet my soon to be ex wife will be able to visit England anytime she wants.... that just doesn't seem fair does it?

I will miss my friends, family and America dearly but the world is a big place.

[diadromous mermaid 36]

I arrived here in on the 1st May 07

We got married on 30th June 07

I moved out on the last weekend in August 07

I started to file for divorce on the 29th February 08

I have all the papers ready, I just need to send them to her to sign then I can file.

At first even though she had fallen for this other guy, slept with him.... I still loved her and thought there might be a possibility of saving the marriage..... I gave her space and time and she only made things worse. She now lives with her new guy and they don't care about anything or anyone but themselves. This has pretty much help me make up my mind. I'm not going to ask her to help me and I'm not going to file for AOS as everyone is right... it's fraud and I don't want to live a lie.

I'm just going to file for divorce, go home and take the ban.

It makes me angry though... I just wish there was a way I could get rid of the ban or reduce the sentence. Its not me that's committed adultery yet my soon to be ex wife will be able to visit England anytime she wants.... that just doesn't seem fair does it?

I will miss my friends, family and America dearly but the world is a big place.

You didn't address my specific questions....

[Fuzzy 0]

You provided nothing in the way of a timeline. We know you married over a year ago. How soon after that did the marriage begin to unravel? Is it that you couldn't submit the AOS package, because she was unwilling to prepare the I-864 for you? You say you had to leave. Is it that she asked you to leave or is it that you chose to move out? There's been little discussion as to divorce. Is that because she has no intentions of divorcing you? Or is it that you were hoping that you would patch things up?

I arrived here in on the 1st May 07

We got married on 30th June 07

I moved out on the last weekend in August 07

I started to file for divorce on the 29th February 08

I have all the papers ready, I just need to send them to her to sign then I can file.

At first even though she had fallen for this other guy, slept with him.... I still loved her and thought there might be a possibility of saving the marriage..... I gave her space and time and she only made things worse. She now lives with her new guy and they don't care about anything or anyone but themselves. This has pretty much help me make up my mind. I'm not going to ask her to help me and I'm not going to file for AOS as everyone is right... it's fraud and I don't want to live a lie.

I'm just going to file for divorce, go home and take the ban.

It makes me angry though... I just wish there was a way I could get rid of the ban or reduce the sentence. Its not me that's committed adultery yet my soon to be ex wife will be able to visit England anytime she wants.... that just doesn't seem fair does it?

I will miss my friends, family and America dearly but the world is a big place.

You didn't address my specific questions....

The marriage began to unravel before we actually got married. We were arguing about this other guy weeks before the wedding. The night before our last opportunity to get married (within the 90 day period) we were arguing and I was considering going home! I couldn't because I loved her and wanted to work things out. All the pressure of the time restriction wasn't helping and how could we decide the fate of out relationship at a time like that? The day we got married was awful we were still fighting and she was even texting her "best friend" on the train down to the courthouse. Looking back it seems ridiculous why I even went through with it. It never got better from there... in fact it progressively worsened until the day I moved out. We'd argue more and more.... she'd go out and see "her best friend" more and more. A vicious circle.

When I moved out the last thing on my mind was my immigration and AOS... to sum it up I was an emotional mess and couldn't think straight at all. Until recently I haven't even looked at AOS, what is involved in terms of forms etc.. let alone or filling for it.

I chose to move out, she didn't want me to leave. It's funny how she didn't want me to leave yet the week after I moved out she slept with her "best friend" isn't it?

She hasn't mentioned any intentions of divorcing me. She know's I have got the papers together to divorce her.

Have I answered all the questions?

May I ask why you're asking these specifics?

Edited October 9, 2008 by Fuzzy

[diadromous mermaid 36]

Well, if it was she that was unwilling to provide the documentation required for you to submit the AOS application after the marriage, when you were technically in legal status and if she still has no intentions of divorcing you, it is possible that there is a chance that it could be construed that she was preventing you from remaining in legal status yet not forthright enough to end the marriage.

You provided nothing in the way of a timeline. We know you married over a year ago. How soon after that did the marriage begin to unravel? Is it that you couldn't submit the AOS package, because she was unwilling to prepare the I-864 for you? You say you had to leave. Is it that she asked you to leave or is it that you chose to move out? There's been little discussion as to divorce. Is that because she has no intentions of divorcing you? Or is it that you were hoping that you would patch things up?

I arrived here in on the 1st May 07

We got married on 30th June 07

I moved out on the last weekend in August 07

I started to file for divorce on the 29th February 08

I have all the papers ready, I just need to send them to her to sign then I can file.

At first even though she had fallen for this other guy, slept with him.... I still loved her and thought there might be a possibility of saving the marriage..... I gave her space and time and she only made things worse. She now lives with her new guy and they don't care about anything or anyone but themselves. This has pretty much help me make up my mind. I'm not going to ask her to help me and I'm not going to file for AOS as everyone is right... it's fraud and I don't want to live a lie.

I'm just going to file for divorce, go home and take the ban.

It makes me angry though... I just wish there was a way I could get rid of the ban or reduce the sentence. Its not me that's committed adultery yet my soon to be ex wife will be able to visit England anytime she wants.... that just doesn't seem fair does it?

I will miss my friends, family and America dearly but the world is a big place.

You didn't address my specific questions....

The marriage began to unravel before we actually got married. We were arguing about this other guy weeks before the wedding. The night before our last opportunity to get married (within the 90 day period) we were arguing and I was considering going home! I couldn't because I loved her and wanted to work things out. All the pressure of the time restriction wasn't helping and how could we decide the fate of out relationship at a time like that? The day we got married was awful we were still fighting and she was even texting her "best friend" on the train down to the courthouse. Looking back it seems ridiculous why I even went through with it. It never got better from there... in fact it progressively worsened until the day I moved out. We'd argue more and more.... she'd go out and see "her best friend" more and more. A vicious cicle.

When I moved out the last thing on my mind was my immigration and AOS... to sum it up I was an imotional mess and couldn't think straight at all. Until recently I haven't even looked at AOS, what is envolved in terms of forms etc.. let alone or filling for it.

I chose to move out, she didn't want me to leave. It's funny how she didn't want me to leave yet the week after I moved out she slept with her "best friend" isn't it?

She hasn't mentioned any intentions of divorcing me. She know's I have got the papers together to divorce her.

Have I answered all the questions?

May I ask why you're asking these specifics?