hello china group

[pushbrk 12,605]

All interesting enough and I have no quarrel with accuracy but I see nothing in there that explains why you think your generalizations are helpful to anybody today in this forum. We all have our own experiences, as does each Chinese person. Each member here has an individual as prospect for or actual life partner. Most of the Chinese halves of those relationships live in cities, primarily in outer rather than inner regions and not the least of which, Nanning specifically.

my generalisations are value in varying degrees. a tiger is a kind of cat. a tabby is a kind of cat. they both kill to eat, if given the opportunity.

the relevance of my comments lay in increasing awareness of the difference between the typical American cognitive schema, and that of the typical chinese. we have opportunity to marry persons in all countries, thanks to the internet. from the nature of posts i've seen on this forum, it appears to me that most posters do not understand at a deeper level that foreigners do not think like we do. as a result, they are in for a suprise in marrying one. understanding the differences before signing on the dotted line is critical to success in the venture.

equality is a major feature of modern American marriage ideals, and the most difficult of all states to acheive. it is not considered normal in many countries people are selecting mates from. a chinese woman might be perfect for you, as women here tend to be very subservient, especially if they were born before 1980, having grown up in a culture in which such was expected. my chinese wife is also a good fit, because she expects me to have a traditional male role. that being said, i am creating opportunity for her to increase her status carefully, without destroying our balance.

young chinese women today are less subservient. they have learned that a "western" style relationship is possible, though problematic. not only do they watch subtitled Sex In The City, but they even have their own chinese version that is very popular in the mainland. from this kind of television programming they have learned that they have a right and expectation to reject men, with or without cause. unfortunately, most chinese girls in the city in which i live are married by 26, so the rejection comes out within the marriage, rather than without it.

so the sad news is, china will soon have as many unmarriageable women as America does, today.

Your generalizations are just that. It is your opinion they are typical. My experience says otherwise in many cases. As such, your generalizations are as likely to mislead as to inform as would mine be.

[justashooter 430]

Your generalizations are just that. It is your opinion they are typical. My experience says otherwise in many cases. As such, your generalizations are as likely to mislead as to inform as would mine be.

i guess you always get the last word in this forum. so be it. i surrender.

i am sure your 4 years of reading posts on the internet is the same as my 4 years living in china.

[pushbrk 12,605]

Your generalizations are just that. It is your opinion they are typical. My experience says otherwise in many cases. As such, your generalizations are as likely to mislead as to inform as would mine be.

i guess you always get the last word in this forum. so be it. i surrender.

i am sure your 4 years of reading posts on the internet is the same as my 4 years living in china.

No, it's not the same. However, there's a difference between 1 week of experience repeated

208 times and four years of experience. What I'm saying is that either your generalizations or mine would be as likely to mislead somebody into having the wrong expectations of China as they would be to set correct ones for their own set of circumstances. As such, they are probably more harmful than helpful.

You're stating your experience and it's valid but it's only valid within your frame of reference, as would mine or anybody else's be.

I don't give too hoots and a hollar who gets the last word but I'll have my say whenever I want, just like you.

[Kris & QQ 0]

Also willing to discuss Chinese cultural issues, and Henan province related matters. In China right now if anybody wants me to pick up some bootleg DVDs.

My wife is from Henan and we are in the middle of the K3 process. Just curious if you had any issues with getting paperwork you might have needed in Henan.

Edited October 22, 2008 by Kris & QQ

[justashooter 430]

Also willing to discuss Chinese cultural issues, and Henan province related matters. In China right now if anybody wants me to pick up some bootleg DVDs.

My wife is from Henan and we are in the middle of the K3 process. Just curious if you had any issues with getting paperwork you might have needed in Henan.

Kris, my wife is from Luoyang, a city of about 4-6 million, but had hokou in Caodian Village, a suburb of about 100K people south of Luoyang. We had the standard experience with local government. Imported cigarettes and alcohol sometimes proved necessary, and cash was nice. The county level people we dealt with were reluctant to help, sometimes to the point of refusing to get up from their desks to walk to a filing cabinet. They would profess to be unable to provide the docs until bribed, within my sight. If your wife is telling you she is having a hard time and needs to bribe local officials to get what she needs, it's true.

You must have gotten married in ZhengZhou, if she has hokou in Henan. She would have needed to go to her parent's hometown (or town of married residence if she is divorced) as registered in the hokou to get the birth, police, and ability to marry certificates. She should get several original certified copies of her birth cert, college papers if possible and any relevant certificates like Chinese/English translation or professional association certs. These docs will cost a hundred bux, or maybe three, depending on how deep they stack, but can't be gotten once she comes to the states. They can be translated in official certified format in her city of residence, or in a Chinese embassy in the US.

True college transcripts detailing actual class titles credited for are difficult to get, but important if your wife wants to transfer them into an American college for credit earned. A simple certificate of degree completion will not be accepted, in my experience. We are in process of trying to obtain.

people here like blackberry brandy, sambuca, and other sweet aromatic and treacly alcohols. they are not much on whisky or vodka.