Election and Russia

[akdiver 3]

I am curious why you seek a woman outside your nation, but yet you support femocrats and their system of what a modern woman should be.

Good lord. What on earth does one have to do with the other?

I'm a big beliver in anything BUT "traditional values" - and yet I have a Russian wife. Why would that possibly be? Now let me think...hmm...oh yeah - because we met in Egypt and she just happened to be from Russia. She could have been from Iowa, Peru, or Jupiter for all I care. Where she was from simply didn't matter to me.

[dufflebag 0]

Again, Mox( or anyone else who wants to answer his), I will excuse myself and rephrase the question to you then, Why are you seeking a wife from a different country? Do you think that it is unfair that the femocrats are attacking her value system? Is it as many have stated that the modern femocrat has destroyed the traditional values of family? What is the difference you seen between Russian women (I assume that you were over there) and American women? I want to have a family with kids, not a dog who is treated like one. I have to agree that I am not big fan of all of Palin's policies, but there is not one person that would agree on this board with each others policies. I feel that we have the economy and great nation, but we lack the value system to have a good family.

Where I am on my journey? Well I am in the scared sh*tless or starting phase. I see so many successes and failures. I see some amazing happy men here and I see some that have dropped off. I went through Moscow and then in a taxi half asleep to the train station then St Petersburg. It is weird, because I was nervous, suspicious, excited, amazed,very tired and mostly confused. The whole time, I was nervous, because I did not want to offend anyone or know what to do. I was using some cheap translator and think I missed pronounced some word when I asked for some juice, because the clerk's eye opened big when I said something. It was shock, then laughter, then a smile. Or when someone talks to you in Russian and you do not what they are talking about. I can understand how Dan Qualye felt like when the reporters spoke to him. Whether I am successful or not, it was an experience.

When I am more comfortable, I will write more about my meeting. I am just so nervous and scared after my marriage failure and I feel that information overload.

Bobb, can you tell what is the difference you have seen in the families of the countries you have visited. Russia, Ukraine, China, Canada, and the USA. Sounds like you had an amazing journey. I hope to see other places, but I find that you are only allowed so much vacation and that you want to see other places and you want to be with the one you care about. Bobb, you have Russian flag in your profile, but you are now going to other countries. Is Russia your preference?

[akdiver 3]

Again, Mox( or anyone else who wants to answer his), I will excuse myself and rephrase the question to you then, Why are you seeking a wife from a different country?

Speaking only for myself - but I suspect the answer is true for others..... I did not SEEK a wife from a different country. She just happened to be from a different country.

What is the difference you seen between Russian women (I assume that you were over there) and American women?

Most Russian women live in Russia - most American women live in America. That's the main difference I see.

I want to have a family with kids, not a dog who is treated like one.

I want a family with a wife and dog, but no kids. Edited September 25, 2008 by akdiver

[1HappyGuy 45]

Dufflebag,

Welcome to VJ and the "process". Most everyone here you will find helpful and experienced. The reasons why some seek foreign wives is vast and varied, but generally they are looking or found something that they couldn't find at home (America). But you will find that there are also a number of women that have brought fiances or husbands to America also.

Enjoy your waiting period as much as you can. It is long and frustrating but does eventually come to a conclusion. I just finished getting my wife's permanent (10 year) greencard. We just need to get one for her son, starting in December and we will be done for about 10 years, unless someone decides to become a citizen.

Welcome to the Russian forum as well. If you have questions about culture, expected changes, problems or anything else regarding the prospect of a new Russian speaking wife, please ask us.

[bobb 0]

Dufflebag:

I can't remember anywhere in my first post mentioning anything you 'thought' I wrote. I don't follow your reasoning asking me why I am willing to look outside the U.S. if I support 'femocrats'. Again, did I specifically say anything that would lead you to believe I do? I know it's a common practice for a person to believe they 'think' they know what a person stands for. Usually thought it takes more than one paragraph in one post.

As to why I am willing to look elsewhere? We all have our own personal reasons why we are willing to look outside the U.S. I don't really have the time to expound upon them at this time. I really do have more pressing business communicating with the woman from Russia and the multitude of other things associated with my upcoming visit...re-learning my meager amount of Russian and learning more...sending emails to her...talking on the phone twice a day with her...working...easting...sleeping...increasing my knowledge of Russia and the culture, etc., etc.

"Values of a perfect woman should have to be a good wife and mother?"

What a strange word 'perfect' can be in how you apply it. What is perfect? Maybe perfect to me, but by no means perfect. And even then no one is absolutely perfect. Each person has imperfections and any little thing that bothers you is outweighed by all the positive things. If I was looking for someone perfect I think I'd no longer be among the living. If you have noticed my age I am more than likely not interested in how good a mother she is, other than how she has been to her 30-year old son, as neither of us has any desire for children at this point in our lives. She is 7 years younger than me. I think my past trips to Belarus, Ukraine, and China can only show I am willing to look elsewhere. I have no preferences. At the site I met this Russian woman she emailed me first. There was no 'urge' on my part to meet a woman from Russia specifically. Actually, in the past if I was trying to decide between two woman who to contact I avoided Russian women. Because of the feeling I had of it just being a little more of a hassle to visit than, let's say Ukraine or China, and potential for much longer plane rides. This woman is not from St Petersburg (pitirBURK) and I would have gone to her city to the east of Moscow. Age and life experiences will also dictate each person's hopes, expectations, fears, and common sense, just name a few. I am not going to other countries. I have been to other countries in the past that began back in 2003. I have taken breaks in this journey. I too am limited to the amount of vacation available. I have a further restriction in that I can go for no longer than 12 days at a time, including all travel time!

Canada was a personal trip not involved with this process - can't comment on families in Canada. I am fortunate to have a wonderful family which is similar to what I saw in China. On my visits to Belarus and Ukraine the experience of meeting the family never occurred. But, I have read quite a bit and feel it is similar to my family and what I experienced in China in many, many countries on this orb we share.

I do wish you all the luck dufflebag. When you return you will probably be willing to learn some Russian. Even if it is only enough to be polite. On my first trip to Belarus I only learned a few words and the woman I went to see taught English to people emigrating. On succeeding trips I studied more. At least with Russian you can learn to pronounce AND read Russian fairly quickly. Reading Chinese is a whole different ball of wax! It isn't that hard to even learn to read Russian letters and words and pronounce them correctly. Just remember a desire and willingness to learn are great incentives. Oh, and practice, practice, practice.

Please don't ask me anymore questions. Not that I don't wish to answer them. I just have more important things to attend to for the next 20 days 20 hours and 32 minutes

[slim 1,533]

and think I missed pronounced some word when I asked for some juice, because the clerk's eye opened big when I said something. It was shock, then laughter, then a smile.

Did you inadvertantly call the clerk a b!tch?

Juice= sok in Russian, sounds kind of in between the English words - soak and sock. ...... The slang form of b!tch commonly used in Russian is the word = suka, sounding like soooka. It's quite possible you were looking at your handy-dandy little translation guide and sounded it out "ah, .... ya ...ha chooooo. ah, sook...ah" And she was sitting there saying, "oh no he didn't!" Then she thought about it and realized you were sounding it out and said, "Oh. No he didn't. Ha ha ha..... stupid American."

At least with Russian you can learn to pronounce AND read Russian fairly quickly. Reading Chinese is a whole different ball of wax! It isn't that hard to even learn to read Russian letters and words and pronounce them correctly. Just remember a desire and willingness to learn are great incentives. Oh, and practice, practice, practice.

Russian is one of the "easier" languages to learn once you apply yourself. I'm by no means fluent, but it wasn't too hard to pick up enough to get arond OK.

Chinese.... easy to speak, but what's with 18,000 "common" symbols as written language? Get an alphabet already! Don't like ours? Invent one! Worked fine for the Japanese and if you want to see the easiest alphabet in the whole world, all you have to do is look at the Korean penninsula. They didn't have one so they just made one up!

[dufflebag 0]

Do you think that it is unfair that the femocrats are attacking her value system? Is it as many have stated that the modern femocrat has destroyed the traditional values of family?

Your repeated use of the word "femocrat" tells me a lot about where you stand politically, so I doubt you'll be inclined to believe me when I say the Democrats have not been attacking Sarah Palin's "value system." In fact, I don't believe the Democrats have really focused on her much at all. Their attacks have been reserved for the top of the ticket, as it should be. In terms of "traditional values," I'm sure she has them. She's probably a great mom, and I think it took a lot of courage to make the choice to have a special needs child, especially at her age. As I've said before I think if the Palins were my neighbor I'd probably invite them over for a barbecue from time-to-time. There's a lot to like about Palin, but I don't believe she has Mayoral credentials, let alone Presidential credentials. I think she was an incredibly cynical pick that is already backfiring.

What is the difference you seen between Russian women (I assume that you were over there) and American women? I want to have a family with kids, not a dog who is treated like one.

This is a topic that has been hashed, re-hashed, and then re-hashed again and I'm sure a quick search will give you a wide range of opinions. There's a core set of cultural traits that tends to set FSU women apart, but they are not pressed out from a cookie cutter mold. What were the differences you saw while you were over there?

When I am more comfortable, I will write more about my meeting. I am just so nervous and scared after my marriage failure and I feel that information overload.

You'll get lots of support and good information here. You will find that even the granola eaters will answer your questions. Welcome.

Be honest you would be invited them to your BBQ to get some fresh Salmon and Moose Burgers. :-) I am tired of the platform of the feminist who follow Oprah and her ideals like sheep. Dr Phil and the rest who make issues of simple things to sell books and videos. Look what happened with all the Hollywood stars who support Obama. It was trendy to have problems and go to rehab. Plus Fepublican does not sound good.

[dufflebag 0]

and think I missed pronounced some word when I asked for some juice, because the clerk's eye opened big when I said something. It was shock, then laughter, then a smile.

Did you inadvertantly call the clerk a b!tch?

Juice= sok in Russian, sounds kind of in between the English words - soak and sock. ...... The slang form of b!tch commonly used in Russian is the word = suka, sounding like soooka. It's quite possible you were looking at your handy-dandy little translation guide and sounded it out "ah, .... ya ...ha chooooo. ah, sook...ah" And she was sitting there saying, "oh no he didn't!" Then she thought about it and realized you were sounding it out and said, "Oh. No he didn't. Ha ha ha..... stupid American."

At least with Russian you can learn to pronounce AND read Russian fairly quickly. Reading Chinese is a whole different ball of wax! It isn't that hard to even learn to read Russian letters and words and pronounce them correctly. Just remember a desire and willingness to learn are great incentives. Oh, and practice, practice, practice.

Russian is one of the "easier" languages to learn once you apply yourself. I'm by no means fluent, but it wasn't too hard to pick up enough to get arond OK.

Chinese.... easy to speak, but what's with 18,000 "common" symbols as written language? Get an alphabet already! Don't like ours? Invent one! Worked fine for the Japanese and if you want to see the easiest alphabet in the whole world, all you have to do is look at the Korean penninsula. They didn't have one so they just made one up!

haha maybe that is what happened I called her a b1tch by accident LOL!! Russian look very hard because letters are backwords and they talk like Dracula.

[Brad and Vika 129]

Election. Russia. OP. What???

[slim 1,533]

haha maybe that is what happened I called her a b1tch by accident LOL!! Russian look very hard because letters are backwords and they talk like Dracula.

Wasn't Dracula Romanian? Either way, they have the backwards letters too... or at least they did back in his day. (And they talk like Dracula!)

One of the first foreigners I ever lived with (wow, thinking back now there have been quite a few!) was a Romanian dude from NYC. He would call home to talk to his parents and they'd be like "So, yeah, today I was working and $()U$)(Q(U#)()()#(U)(U$#F just right there on my desk. I know. Sabayc8923095r09()#)($#)(UDJ" I didn't really get it at the time, but now that my wife's been here for a while, I'm sure that's pretty close to what our conversations sound like to my family or friends.

[mendeleev 69]

Yes, this argument makes a whole lot of sense, because American men have spent the last 8 years emulating vice president ####### Cheney. Schlumpy, bald, frightening.

And also I think most of this russian/other foreign women vs american women stuff is BS. Yeah, Russian women are very done up and look good... When they're young. By the time they're older, American women look waaay better.

Careful, eekee ... your experience and mine differ a lot! My wife isn't young -- wish I'd met her 30 years ago. But she still looks great! Puts most Americans her age to 20 years younger, often more, to shame.

[Blues Fairy 0]

I like Palin, but not because she's a "traditional woman" and I am a Russian woman and thus we have lots in common. In fact, not so much - to name a few differences, I am pro-choice and and an atheist, and I would never have a down syndrome child and I would never participate in a beauty pageant.

But as far as I see, Palin stands for eveything opposite to the socialist, paternalistic, corrupt mentality that I've grown so SICK of in my homeland, and I do hope I will not experience the victory of the same mentality in my new country. Perhaps she's not ready for presidency but she sure is a promising politician and I hope to see more of young blood in GOP in the coming years.

[Turboguy 6]

It sometimes amazes me that we have the long drawn out primary system and we pick the people who run for office and still seem to pick cantidates that send us to the polls voting for the least of two evils. With the vast number of people in this country why can't we get some good cantidates?

I like Palin. To me she is the only good cantidate I have seen running for top office since Reagan. I don't agree with everything she supports, but I do think she has the good of the country at heart. More experience would be good but I personally think I would prefer someone who has good ideas and less experience to someone with bad ideas and a lot of experience.

We also hear that men look for a wife overseas because they want a wife with traditional values. Oddly enough my first wife, American of course, had traditional values. She stayed at home raising our two kids and never worked until after we divorced. My new wife is pretty much a feminist. At 29 she has no interest at all in having kids. She does the house stuff but more because it needs to be done and is the most focused person I have ever met on getting a good education and having a successful career. That sorta goes against some of the things we hear.

My 18 years of marriage to a women with traditional values was totally miserable right from day one. My wife and I are a few days short of a year since her arrival and I probably enjoy being with her as much or more than anyone I have ever met and I can't say even one day of that time has been bad. I don't think values have much to do with happiness. I do think two peoples values need to be the same. At 24 when I married my first wife I would not have wanted to marry someone who did not want kids. Personally I think the thing that can help an international marrige succeed is that RW seem to value a good marriage more than American women. I think they often work to make thier husband happy and AW tend to take their men for granted.

I was single for a long time. Being somewhat older than some of you I have done a lot of dating with AW and probably more searching among the slightly older crowd than some. Do RW go downhill faster than AW? First off, I think AW are more apt to put on a lot of weight. RW do more walking and eat more veggies. I think some elements of life in Russia can age people a little faster. I have seen attractive older women in both countries. There are probably more older women in America who would be very attractive if they lost 75 pounds and more women in Russia who look better as an overall package the way they are.

It seems to me I hear a lot of AW say they are looking for someone to grow old with and AM would prefer thier wife to never get old but to stay young and beautiful forever. Both men and women seem to like a younger partner when they do get older. When I used to search though the American singles sites it was rare to see a beautiful older women looking for someone her own age or older. Most wanted a boy toy.

Edited October 6, 2008 by Turboguy

[slim 1,533]

Kind of breaking from the election.... but to keep it politically female - Did you guys see where the AP reported last week Putin accused Ukraine of selling arms to Georgia and Yulia Tymoshenko basically shrugged it off saying, "that's the President's business...." http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20081002/ap_on_...eu_russia_putin

He was adding pressure to get a better gas deal, but doesn't it seem like she's allying herself with Moscow in a bid to maybe become President of Ukraine?

And doesn't that seem a lot like Palin allying herself with McCain in order to maybe become President of the U.S.?

All I know is... I can't wait for that video on YouTube. "Sarah/Yulia-hottub/nude" One Billion hits, guaranteed! And if all our world leaders look like that, who needs wars? We'll be glued to YouTube all day and won't have time to fight!

[Brad and Vika 129]

He was adding pressure to get a better gas deal, but doesn't it seem like she's allying herself with Moscow in a bid to maybe become President of Ukraine?

Yep, that seems to be the conventional wisdom here in Ukraine now.