The Logistics

[TheZilla 0]

Hey again

As you probably know by now, my marriage is breaking up, my husband moved out and is living with the mother of some girl he's fixated on, and right now things are up in the air as A- It was all of a sudden without warning and B- He hasn't been in touch with me since Friday. This is the first real serious relationship I've had where there has been joint accounts and such things, and I've been trying hard to hunt down the info I need on the net but I'm so out of it I'm doing a rather terrible job. Wondering if you all might be able to help from experience?

1. We have a joint bank account. There's only a few hundred dollars in it, all of it is technically his (he said I could keep it, I told him to go eff himself). Now, can he go close it out himself, or will both of us have to be there to do it?

2. He has a car (paid for in full with his own money), both of our names are on the title, his coming first. Now, if he does move back to the UK like he said he is going to, can he just go sell the car himself or will I have to be there to sign off on it too? (hoping he can do it himself if he does leave)

Ergh, I feel sick thinking about him staying because he wouldn't have the bank account, the car, or his cell phone without me (he didn't have any credit over here, still doesn't, and needed me for all those things). I swear, my a$$ is sore from all the kicks to it.

Thank you so much in advance for any help you might be able to provide me with

Edited September 22, 2008 by TheZilla

[*julez* 124]

With regard to the bank account, you should be able to close it without his being there with you. I work for a bank and that's how we do it - one or the other can close it out. You should call your bank to verify that will work.

If you are both named on the title of the car you'll both need to sign the title over to the new owner, if/when the car is sold.

I understand why you feel angry and bitter right now, but when you get married that's a chance you take. In time, things will get better and you won't feel so angry. Try to stay focused on the future and not all the stuff that happened. You can't change what was, you can only control what you do in the future. That philosophy really helped me to cope and get through things when my first marriage failed. Your emotions will be all over the place for awhile, but it will get better.

[payxibka 10,047]

Agreed... one signature for the bank, two signatures for the car.

[rebeccajo 14]

Both names on an asset isn't what matters. What matters is the words in between the names. "And". "Or". "And/Or".

The wording on the automobile title and state law governing it will tell you who can sign. Check with your state Department of Motor Vehicles.

If you have a bank loan on the vehicle, the bank will also have to release the title.

[*JG* 2]

Both names on an asset isn't what matters. What matters is the words in between the names. "And". "Or". "And/Or".

The wording on the automobile title and state law governing it will tell you who can sign. Check with your state Department of Motor Vehicles.

If you have a bank loan on the vehicle, the bank will also have to release the title.

I agree with this on the car.

The bank either or is fine.

[rin and john 71]

Hey again

As you probably know by now, my marriage is breaking up, my husband moved out and is living with the mother of some girl he's fixated on, and right now things are up in the air as A- It was all of a sudden without warning and B- He hasn't been in touch with me since Friday. This is the first real serious relationship I've had where there has been joint accounts and such things, and I've been trying hard to hunt down the info I need on the net but I'm so out of it I'm doing a rather terrible job. Wondering if you all might be able to help from experience?

1. We have a joint bank account. There's only a few hundred dollars in it, all of it is technically his (he said I could keep it, I told him to go eff himself). Now, can he go close it out himself, or will both of us have to be there to do it?

2. He has a car (paid for in full with his own money), both of our names are on the title, his coming first. Now, if he does move back to the UK like he said he is going to, can he just go sell the car himself or will I have to be there to sign off on it too? (hoping he can do it himself if he does leave)

Ergh, I feel sick thinking about him staying because he wouldn't have the bank account, the car, or his cell phone without me (he didn't have any credit over here, still doesn't, and needed me for all those things). I swear, my a$$ is sore from all the kicks to it.

Thank you so much in advance for any help you might be able to provide me with

If you are definitely going to divorce, then begin making decisions that are best for you. One good resource:

http://www.divorcenet.com/states/florida/florida_divorce

With regards to assets, begin making a list of what you had prior to getting married. Prepare a list of what your husband brought into the marriage (savings, other assets). Then make a list of all assets you currently have (savings accounts, checking accounts, car, house, furniture, etc). The difference between what you had prior to marriage and what you have right now are marital assets and should be divided equally. If your combined net worth is less, then half the incremental debt is his; half of it is yours. If your combined net worth is more, half of the incremental gain is his; half is yours.

It will be a very emotional, trying time, but you will need to begin applying logic to the actual process to avoid becoming a financial victim on top of the emotional pain.

[TheZilla 0]

When it comes to finances, he was the one who went through the lion's share of money to be perfectly honest. He was the one supporting me financially, not the other way around. He actually went through quite a bit of money in this relationship, even accessing some trusts and things. So I have no intentions of trying to get anything else from him, like I said, I won't even take the few hundred left in our account. As far as material stuff went, I just kept some books and DVDs and that's enough for me. So there won't be any problems as far as dividing anything up. I was just mainly wondering how many of these accounts and things will require me having to sign things and see him again while doing it.

[William33 110]

Sorry to hear of this breakup.

If all the assets are his as you stated, just let go. You and your credit will not be affected, as all assets are paid for or owned by him.

All the best to you going forward.

[justashooter 430]

When it comes to finances, he was the one who went through the lion's share of money to be perfectly honest. He was the one supporting me financially, not the other way around. He actually went through quite a bit of money in this relationship, even accessing some trusts and things. So I have no intentions of trying to get anything else from him, like I said, I won't even take the few hundred left in our account. As far as material stuff went, I just kept some books and DVDs and that's enough for me. So there won't be any problems as far as dividing anything up. I was just mainly wondering how many of these accounts and things will require me having to sign things and see him again while doing it.

sounds like you are handling yourself in a very dignified way. my condolences on your lost marraige. my advice, having been through a messy divorce, is to get it over with as quiclky as possible and take the next few years learning how to be yourself.

good luck

shooter

[diadromous mermaid 36]

Sorry to hear of this breakup.

If all the assets are his as you stated, just let go. You and your credit will not be affected, as all assets are paid for or owned by him.

All the best to you going forward.

True. But if he did "finance" the lion's share of this marriage, it would not be out of the realm of reason for him to claim some recompense.