Wife gone after 10 months

[Ree 9]

I haven't filed for AOS. She plans to go around me to get AOS or should I say get to stay here

Why you didn't file her AOS? So, your wife had no SSN, no driver's license, no work permit. Is that correct? Was she able to go to a store while you were at work and buy groceries for a week?

Edited September 26, 2008 by Ree

[BUHOK 0]

Personally, my only concern now is getting out of here. She doesn't belong in this country. She was a maid when I met her. She got me for 25,000.

She has a visa and she's doing all this. what happens when she gets the official green card. does anyone know some people that were in this situation ? possibly this could be some great help for me.

I reported her to the state department, ice, and the Philippine embassy. I am hoping they cancel her visa soon.

There you go, that's why you marry her because you thought you will have a wife and a maid, well you were looking for a maid pretty much. Tangkas, I read your wifes post and I spoke to one of her friends and I pity her. She was asking for an advice because she caught you not ones but many times chatting with other girls and that hurts her so bad. She even read one of you sweet messages to one of your chatmates and she even caught you making a long distance phone call. She tried to talk to you asking you to stop chatting with other girls and you were mad. She told you she is willing to change, try to look sexy for you just to save your marriage but still you are chatting with other girls. As soon as you read her post asking for help you then make a thread about your wife saying bad things about her and she once replied to your post asking you to stop but you never did. I don't know your wife but I know her friends and like I said I pity her.

Edited September 26, 2008 by BUHOK

[Sha2011 0]

Personally, my only concern now is getting out of here. She doesn't belong in this country. She was a maid when I met her. She got me for 25,000.

She has a visa and she's doing all this. what happens when she gets the official green card. does anyone know some people that were in this situation ? possibly this could be some great help for me.

I reported her to the state department, ice, and the Philippine embassy. I am hoping they cancel her visa soon.

There you go, that's why you marry her because you thought you will have a wife and a maid, well you were looking for a maid pretty much. Tangkas, I read your wifes post and I spoke to one of her friends and I pity her. She was asking for an advice because she caught you not ones but many times chatting with other girls and that hurts her so bad. She even read one of you sweet messages to one of your chatmates and she even caught you making a long distance phone call. She tried to talk to you asking you to stop chatting with other girls and you were mad. She told you she is willing to change, try to look sexy for you just to save your marriage but still you are chatting with other girls. As soon as you read her post asking for help you then make a thread about your wife saying bad things about her and she once replied to your post asking you to stop but you never did. I don't know your wife but I know her friends and like I said I pity her.

That's a one sided story. You can't base your view on a one sided view. I am not saying she's 100% to blame, but its not as innocent as you think. Has she told you about what she's been doing. Her story is one sided. I've seen my wife chatting to people and looking at various men's pictures late at night. She never mentioned that. This way before I ever got to the dating website.

All I ask my wife to do is take care of herself and help me cook the days I have a 6 hour break between my work shifts. That's it ! If that's making her a maid oh my gosh.

Edited September 26, 2008 by tangkas

[Sha2011 0]

From your side of the story, my two cents worth is that your wife's family is spoiled. You spoiled them that is why your wife became indifferent to you. My husband always tells me that Americans take care of themselves before they they care of others. You should have made that clear to her from the start. The damage has been done and I don't know if you can still repair them after everrything that has been said and done. I feel bad about it, but not all Filipinas are like your wife. -- Marie

Your right my wife is spoiled also. I wanted her to be so comfortable that I told her she didn't have to work if she didn't want to. I am doing all the working and cooking now. I am more of the maid.

There's two days in my work week I work two 8 shifts that are 6 hours apart. The second day on the second 8 hour I have to be at school in 5 hours. All I ask her to do is help me cooking on those days, but I am making her a maid ?

[Sha2011 0]

Personally, my only concern now is getting out of here. She doesn't belong in this country. She was a maid when I met her. She got me for 25,000.

She has a visa and she's doing all this. what happens when she gets the official green card. does anyone know some people that were in this situation ? possibly this could be some great help for me.

I reported her to the state department, ice, and the Philippine embassy. I am hoping they cancel her visa soon.

There you go, that's why you marry her because you thought you will have a wife and a maid, well you were looking for a maid pretty much. Tangkas, I read your wifes post and I spoke to one of her friends and I pity her. She was asking for an advice because she caught you not ones but many times chatting with other girls and that hurts her so bad. She even read one of you sweet messages to one of your chatmates and she even caught you making a long distance phone call. She tried to talk to you asking you to stop chatting with other girls and you were mad. She told you she is willing to change, try to look sexy for you just to save your marriage but still you are chatting with other girls. As soon as you read her post asking for help you then make a thread about your wife saying bad things about her and she once replied to your post asking you to stop but you never did. I don't know your wife but I know her friends and like I said I pity her.

That's a one sided story. You can't base your view on a one sided view. I am not saying she's 100% to blame, but its not as innocent as you think. Has she told you about what she's been doing. Her story is one sided. I've seen my wife chatting to people and looking at various men's pictures late at night. She never mentioned that. This way before I ever got to the dating website.

All I ask my wife to do is take care of herself and help me cook the days I have a 6 hour break between my work shifts. That's it ! If that's making her a maid oh my gosh.I bet you pitty my wife because she's Filipina like you and just that. I dont think you even want to analyze the whole story. It's okay I aint looking for pitty. I am looking for justice

haven't filed for AOS. She plans to go around me to get AOS or should I say get to stay here

Why you didn't file her AOS? So, your wife had no SSN, no driver's license, no work permit. Is that correct? Was she able to go to a store while you were at work and buy groceries for a week?

I was about to do the AOS for her. Every week it was I am leaving. I am going to this place or that place. Its her right to want to leave, but I am obligated to do an AOS on someone that wants to leave and do her on thing in America ?

I already spent 25,000 in two years. I am not Fema, Salvation Army, or your neighboor relief organization. I am a human with emotions.

I bet you pitty my wife because she's Filipina like you and just that. I dont think you even want to analyze the whole story. It's okay I aint looking for pitty. I am looking for justice

I was about to do the AOS for her. Every week it was I am leaving. I am going to this place or that place. Its her right to want to leave, but I am obligated to do an AOS on someone that wants to leave and do her on thing in America ?

I already spent 25,000 in two years. I am not Fema, Salvation Army, or your neighboor relief organization. I am a human with emotions.

Edited September 26, 2008 by tangkas

[Ree 9]

I feel sorry for your wife. It looks for me that she was a prisoner in your house, was not able to go out without you, was not able to drive a car or to go to a store, and so on. Your excuse about not filing AOS because you are not Salvation Army sounds ridiculous. More likely, not filing her AOS was a way for you to keep your wife under your control. If she had greedncard, she would have been able to find a job and to send her money for her family. But it was easier for you not to let her get legal status, so you could accuse her in not working and asking you about money.

Leaving you was a relief for her.

[Sha2011 0]

I feel sorry for your wife. It looks for me that she was a prisoner in your house, was not able to go out without you, was not able to drive a car or to go to a store, and so on. Your excuse about not filing AOS because you are not Salvation Army sounds ridiculous. More likely, not filing her AOS was a way for you to keep your wife under your control. If she had greedncard, she would have been able to find a job and to send her money for her family. But it was easier for you not to let her get legal status, so you could accuse her in not working and asking you about money.

Leaving you was a relief for her.

I am sad you feel that way. I know she could tell you otherwise.

If she had a green card it would of been the pinnacle of her scam. She would have hit the gusto prize, and I would of been out her life. No thank you ! No consideration for me. I wised up after some time. Realized I was a face with American citizenship, and just that. A bridge into the Americas. She had her friends. Never objected to her spending time with her friends. AOS is around 1,000 dollars. I've neglected bills long enough. Interest is running high now. You should thank the Lord that you weren't in the situation I was in. I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy. Knowing the person your with just see's green card you can supply.

[rheanick 42]

Tangkas,

I have been reading the long exchanges for this thread. I just wonder, what is the main objective of your post?

[Steph0814 1]

Ok I read your posts and hers. And I am not sure what you are asking, but if it seems to me you both wanted something out of this.

You wanted companionship and someone to help with the house, cooking, cleaning etc....(I am not saying there is anything wrong with that)

She wanted someone to help her come to the States where some of her family is.

I think the fact that you were helping her and her family financially was poor judgement on your part even though you were trying to help. They became dependant on the money and when it was gone so were they (meaning her family).

As far as the internet dating, its hard you wanted to feel loved and wanted and so did she. It's a domino effect, you start asking her to take care of the home, she retaliates by being stubbord and resisting and it progresses till neither one you can even talk to each other with out a fight. She doesnt do anything to help with cooking, cleaning, taking care of herself and that is unattractive to you so you look for someone who "understands", she doesn't want to listen to you rant on her for what she isn't doing so she looks for someone who "understands".

MARRIAGE IS A 2 WAY STREET to everyone that says he was looking for a maid, I disagree. I am married and before this was in a VERY long relationship with someone who fired his housekeeper and personal assistant the minute I moved in. My husband and I share chores, I happen to cook better so yes i cook almost every meal. I am not his maid, his servant or any of that sort. I love him and want to do these things.

Ok, I getting OT! If you feel without a shadow of a doubt that she used you, you have done enough by calling who you called. I am sorry you got hurt, but LET IT GO! Walk away leave her alone. You will find its better that way for yourself, you are going to get so caught up in this chasing her that you may miss something wonderful right in front of you.

Sorry this happened to you and all the best to you in the future

[ccndyeth 0]

Im sorry to hear this.. But you made the right move, you have to report them.. I think your wife cannot get a greencard since she left you already..

and since you haven't filed for an AOS yet.. she only has 2 years to stay..

Im so sorry to hear about this.. I hope you will find the one really meant for you..

[justashooter 430]

threads like this bring out the difference in perspective between the givers and the takers. there is give and take in every marriage, but it should be within a reasonable balance. few perspectives in this thread have balance.

to the OP, you were a giver, and you got taken. if you are a doormat, people will step on you. lesson learned, and don't do it again, with a foreign woman, or an american woman.

to people berating the guy for spending his entire life's effort/proceeds on someone who did not appreciate and respond in gratitude, grow up. give your time/emotion/ effort/money to someone who throws you away when you have nothing left. then tell us how you feel.

and before you say it, my wife and i are in balance, so i'm not speaking out of personal motivation. i'm just an impartial observer who is tired of watching unwise people set themselves up to be taken, and unscrupulous people taking advantage of them. seen it too many times.

[BUHOK 0]

Personally, my only concern now is getting out of here. She doesn't belong in this country. She was a maid when I met her. She got me for 25,000.

She has a visa and she's doing all this. what happens when she gets the official green card. does anyone know some people that were in this situation ? possibly this could be some great help for me.

I reported her to the state department, ice, and the Philippine embassy. I am hoping they cancel her visa soon.

There you go, that's why you marry her because you thought you will have a wife and a maid, well you were looking for a maid pretty much. Tangkas, I read your wifes post and I spoke to one of her friends and I pity her. She was asking for an advice because she caught you not ones but many times chatting with other girls and that hurts her so bad. She even read one of you sweet messages to one of your chatmates and she even caught you making a long distance phone call. She tried to talk to you asking you to stop chatting with other girls and you were mad. She told you she is willing to change, try to look sexy for you just to save your marriage but still you are chatting with other girls. As soon as you read her post asking for help you then make a thread about your wife saying bad things about her and she once replied to your post asking you to stop but you never did. I don't know your wife but I know her friends and like I said I pity her.

That's a one sided story. You can't base your view on a one sided view. I am not saying she's 100% to blame, but its not as innocent as you think. Has she told you about what she's been doing. Her story is one sided. I've seen my wife chatting to people and looking at various men's pictures late at night. She never mentioned that. This way before I ever got to the dating website.

All I ask my wife to do is take care of herself and help me cook the days I have a 6 hour break between my work shifts. That's it ! If that's making her a maid oh my gosh.I bet you pitty my wife because she's Filipina like you and just that. I dont think you even want to analyze the whole story. It's okay I aint looking for pitty. I am looking for justice

haven't filed for AOS. She plans to go around me to get AOS or should I say get to stay here

Why you didn't file her AOS? So, your wife had no SSN, no driver's license, no work permit. Is that correct? Was she able to go to a store while you were at work and buy groceries for a week?

I was about to do the AOS for her. Every week it was I am leaving. I am going to this place or that place. Its her right to want to leave, but I am obligated to do an AOS on someone that wants to leave and do her on thing in America ?

I already spent 25,000 in two years. I am not Fema, Salvation Army, or your neighboor relief organization. I am a human with emotions.

I bet you pitty my wife because she's Filipina like you and just that. I dont think you even want to analyze the whole story. It's okay I aint looking for pitty. I am looking for justice

I was about to do the AOS for her. Every week it was I am leaving. I am going to this place or that place. Its her right to want to leave, but I am obligated to do an AOS on someone that wants to leave and do her on thing in America ?

I already spent 25,000 in two years. I am not Fema, Salvation Army, or your neighboor relief organization. I am a human with emotions.

I didn't say she's so innocent, you did. I didn't pity her because were both Filipina it's just happened that were both Filipina. Did you ever re-read your post? you put all the blame on her and it's not fair on her part. You said I'm one sided, Na-a you just dont like what I said. Both of you needs to talk big time instead of airing your dirty laundry in the forum.

[Giskat09 2]

every Filipina deserves to marry a loving man. Once you're married, you are not allowed anymore to chat anyone but only your wife (while she is at work). Since i could see here that you both are still chatting and your already married... whats the point of this? Both of you should not get married. You should find more more girls before u really settle down.

THings already happened.... Life goes on.

Good luck to both of you.

God can save your marriage if you both are allowed to listen and to respect each other's need.........

[bhajishah 4]

WELL, IN THAT CASE. NA NA NA NAA .NA NA NA NAAA. HEY HEY HEY YYY. gOOOD BYEEE!!

[morocco4ever 63]

threads like this bring out the difference in perspective between the givers and the takers. there is give and take in every marriage, but it should be within a reasonable balance. few perspectives in this thread have balance.

to the OP, you were a giver, and you got taken. if you are a doormat, people will step on you. lesson learned, and don't do it again, with a foreign woman, or an american woman.

to people berating the guy for spending his entire life's effort/proceeds on someone who did not appreciate and respond in gratitude, grow up. give your time/emotion/ effort/money to someone who throws you away when you have nothing left. then tell us how you feel.

and before you say it, my wife and i are in balance, so i'm not speaking out of personal motivation. i'm just an impartial observer who is tired of watching unwise people set themselves up to be taken, and unscrupulous people taking advantage of them. seen it too many times.

There ya go again sharp shooter.

Again,two sides to every story. The fact that the OP held out applying for the AOS tells volumes. If you can't see that then you are blind.

Both need to grow up.