Well

[~Laura and Nick~ 5]

Today has been a particularly rough day.

I'm just venting here as I need it I think.

Things are good here, don't get me wrong but, I miss home, bad.

I lived there my whole life everyone always says they can't wait to get out of Brantford....now that I'm gone well.....it's just not the same here.

My parents and brother came this weekend for a visit and to meet Nick's family. It went great and I loved seeing them. They left this morning. Also, today is my best friend Shelby's birthday, her 21st. She was my maid of honour. I can't be there with her today, I can't kiss her and give her a big hug and just spend some time with her celebrating her day. My heart is breaking a bit.

She had a party with all of our people from my old job (we worked together) and there were my friends, out having an amazing time, celebrating and laughing and I wasn't there.

I'm happy here with Nick but there is a section of my heart, this painful spot that today is hurting more than usual.

[britty 1]

I know exactly how you feel Some days I just want to go back to London and see all my family and friends, and go out and have a few drinks at the pub, or just sit at my best mates house watching Eastenders. We all get those days from time to time. Hope you feel better tomorrow.

[~Laura and Nick~ 5]

Thanks Britty.

It's comforting to know that I'm not alone in this feeling.

<3

[Ana&D 0]

Your are def. not alone on that one. I usually feel extremely homesick during big holidays (like Christmas, Easter) and speical days I can't share with my friends and family back home! I guess it's another price we have to pay for finding the one! Hopefully you'll feel better tomorrow

[~Laura and Nick~ 5]

Your are def. not alone on that one. I usually feel extremely homesick during big holidays (like Christmas, Easter) and speical days I can't share with my friends and family back home! I guess it's another price we have to pay for finding the one! Hopefully you'll feel better tomorrow

Thank you hon

[BH45 0]

Laura - you are not alone. I've been watching movies and most of them remind me of what Kelsie (my daughter) and I had not long ago. Now, I'm here with Larry,and happy too, but I sure miss my baby girl. She started high school and I wasn't there to give her a hug and send her off to the next step in her education. I haven't been there when she's been sick or hurt.

I'm doing well here and meeting wonderful people from the church. It's just not the same as being home in Cochrane. There I could walk down the street and say hi to everyone as I knew most everyone. I've only seen 2 people twice here that I know in the 3 months I've lived here.

Time is getting close to Thanksgiving in Canada and my dad's birthday, even though he has passed away, I'm still not close enough to visit his resting place to wish him Happy Birthday.

We just need to put it out there for our friends here on VJ to tell us we are not alone. I'm thankful that you did this. It already has made me feel better knowing that there are others who feel just as alone, sad and missing their hometowns as I do.

((((( hugs )))))

[Kathryn41 3,205]

((((((((((((((((((Laura))))))))))))))) - the 'firsts' are especially hard - first best friend's birthday away; first Thanksgiving away; first Christmas away; first birthday away - even first anniversary of moving away . . . homesickness becomes especially close at these times as you realize you are not a part of what was once so familiar, and because you contrast what you have and its differences with what you no longer have. It is easy to feel lonely because it is so easy to focus on the losses and the differences. This is so totally natural and part of the acclimatization process. It doesn't necessarily make it easier knowing that but sometimes it might make it easier to get through it.

Treat yourself to something special here at these times and know that you will 'fill in those missing places' eventually, but it will take time. In between the newness and the familiar you will be building your new life. The homesickness will pass when you find something 'familiar' here to fill in those blanks. This is another part of what makes the first year the most challenging. You are adapting and changing and learning and growing - and you are definitely stretching the boundaries of your own comfort zone - and doing it without the familiar support that you are used to day by day.

So, for something special and different, why not treat yourself to a telephone call to your friend at the party - it may not make the homesickness go away (probably won't), but it will help to bridge the aloneness for a while knowing that you can still participate if only in this sort of way. I know that keeping in touch with my friends and family on line and through the phone was as important to me when I moved here as keeping in touch by the same ways with my fiance before I moved here. It is just part of the process of balancing out the other side of the equation. Good luck.

Edited September 21, 2008 by Kathryn41

[~Laura and Nick~ 5]

Laura - you are not alone. I've been watching movies and most of them remind me of what Kelsie (my daughter) and I had not long ago. Now, I'm here with Larry,and happy too, but I sure miss my baby girl. She started high school and I wasn't there to give her a hug and send her off to the next step in her education. I haven't been there when she's been sick or hurt.

I'm doing well here and meeting wonderful people from the church. It's just not the same as being home in Cochrane. There I could walk down the street and say hi to everyone as I knew most everyone. I've only seen 2 people twice here that I know in the 3 months I've lived here.

Time is getting close to Thanksgiving in Canada and my dad's birthday, even though he has passed away, I'm still not close enough to visit his resting place to wish him Happy Birthday.

We just need to put it out there for our friends here on VJ to tell us we are not alone. I'm thankful that you did this. It already has made me feel better knowing that there are others who feel just as alone, sad and missing their hometowns as I do.

((((( hugs )))))

Hon...

You are so strong and I am in awe of the will power you must have, especially being away from your daughter. That must kill.

Life is funny and strange....if you had told me 3 years ago I'd be living in the U.S. I never would have believed it. I know I'm here for a reason (Nick, of course) but my life back home was going so well, I really blossomed and so, hopefully there is something more in store for me here.

This is a great community and I'm glad that you found some comfort in this post. Thank you for responding and sharing you feelings!

Sending you big hugs from New Jersey!!!!!

((((((((((HUG))))))))))))

[~Laura and Nick~ 5]

((((((((((((((((((Laura))))))))))))))) - the 'firsts' are especially hard - first best friend's birthday away; first Thanksgiving away; first Christmas away; first birthday away - even first anniversary of moving away . . . homesickness becomes especially close at these times as you realize you are not a part of what was once so familiar, and because you contrast what you have and its differences with what you no longer have. It is easy to feel lonely because it is so easy to focus on the losses and the differences. This is so totally natural and part of the acclimatization process. It doesn't necessarily make it easier knowing that but sometimes it might make it easier to get through it.

Treat yourself to something special here at these times and know that you will 'fill in those missing places' eventually, but it will take time. In between the newness and the familiar you will be building your new life. The homesickness will pass when you find something 'familiar' here to fill in those blanks. This is another part of what makes the first year the most challenging. You are adapting and changing and learning and growing - and you are definitely stretching the boundaries of your own comfort zone - and doing it without the familiar support that you are used to day by day.

So, for something special and different, why not treat yourself to a telephone call to your friend at the party - it may not make the homesickness go away (probably won't), but it will help to bridge the aloneness for a while knowing that you can still participate if only in this sort of way. I know that keeping in touch with my friends and family on line and through the phone was as important to me when I moved here as keeping in touch by the same ways with my fiance before I moved here. It is just part of the process of balancing out the other side of the equation. Good luck.

Kathryn, your posts always make me smile...and this time...cry.

Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

I called Shelby earlier and we both cried...She's going to plan a trip here to see me soon..I can't wait for that.

Fall is almost here and part of me wished I could have gotten in that car with my family and drove back home, just to see my house, my cats and my friends.

I'm making a nice dinner and we'll curl up on the couch and watch a movie. I'm still in my pajamas and that's ok.

Thank you again hon....you have no idea how much your words mean to me.

[Sprailenes 47]

Its such a head trip to finally have everything you have wanted, and yet feel so alone at the same time. You're finally with the man you have yearned to be with, yet it still hurts because now you miss your family.

I swear immigration is just one long cruel joke.

But Laura, we all know how you feel. Especially in this part of the process where you truly do feel stuck here because you couldn't even go back to Canada even if you wanted to.

Well maybe a VJ Jersey meet up would do us all a little good sometime soon.

Edited September 21, 2008 by Sprailenes

[~Laura and Nick~ 5]

Well maybe a VJ Jersey meet up would do us all a little good sometime soon.

I would love that!

Thank you for your kind words hon!!!

[shawna7 4]

(((Laura)))) I've been here for 9 months and most days I feel pretty good now..I still miss home ALOT but I don't always have that ache in my heart..just a pang from time to time..its around the 6- 12 week mark I really struggled..The newness of the move had worn off I was finally all unpacked..and then it hits you..

No worries girl..it really does get better..and different.. I still miss my best friend every single day(we worked together as well) but now we totally look forward to our visits!(and we don't have to work to hang out..haha) its always vaction time!(even if it's just a few days..its GREAT!!)

Same thing with family..I now realize how much time was wasted not REALLY appreciating what we have..now the time we all spend together is very special.

I hope this helps a little bit..and I KNOW you'll feel better soon.

Shawna

[SapphireDreams 71]

Hang in there Laura - I can only imagine how hard it is. I already know that I will struggle with this as well.

I actually have a funny homesick story. I went away for my first year of University. I was SO homesick. It was first time away from home and I just didn't adapt well at all. So I decided to transfer to a school in Toronto and live at home for 2nd year. Well, the first few weeks at my new school and I was miserable again. I totally regretted my decision. I transfered back to my original school (Laurier) and even though it wasn't that easy and I still got homesick a little bit, but it made me realize that I wouldn't be at home forever and needed to just suck it up. By my fourth year I was totally fine and so glad I did it. I guess the moral of the story is that just listen to your heart and if you were meant to be there, everything will work itself out!

I know that I'm going to terribly miss Toronto, my friends, family and even my work now but I also know that I am meant to move to New York. I'm anticipating that my homesickness will be pretty bad too, but I know that I'll eventually get over it.

Stay strong

[Mephys 2]

Awww everyone

(((((((((((((((((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

I could probably say that all I am really missing from home is some specific foods.....and my mom.

I guess I am pretty lucky that I didn't leave that many major things behing to miss it for more than a few months. I just hope everyone will

find their way to feel better

Edited September 21, 2008 by Mephys

[JillA 2]

I got teary reading this post... I feel so nervous about my impending move, of course excited to be with Glen and get married but so nervous... I am incredibly close with my family here, we see eachother at least 1-2 times per week for dinner or just a tea... and my friends I love them with all my heart! It's going to be hard and I am worried about the homesickness I will be feeling... I am moving in November and my Mom is coming to Philly for Christmas so at least that is something to look forward too... LAURA stay strong!!