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Ilya R.

Chuck Norris Fun Facts

By Ilya R. in Off Topic

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amiquechu Proficient

amiquechu   0

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Chuck Norris defines love as the reluctance to murder. If you’re still alive, it’s because Chuck Norris loves you.

Every time Chuck Norris hears the term ‘Virgin’ Mary he laughs out loud

The greatest cover up of this century is that Hitler didn’t actually commit suicide in his bunker. He was in fact teabagged to death by chuck Norris

Once Gandhi tried to convince Chuck Norris that violence isn’t always the answer. Chuck Norris smiled, then tore out Gandhi’s stomach. Gandhi then fasted for many days.

chuck norris lost his viginity before his dad did

When someone sneezes, God says Chuck Bless you.

The only child ever to survive a roundhouse kick by Chuck Norris was Gary Coleman. He has not grown since.

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Ilya R. Proficient

Ilya R.   0

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Filed: Country: Russia
 Timeline
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Michael Jordan owns a Chuck Norris jersey.

hahahaha

Here is my story. I've lived problem free life, payed my taxes. One day I decided to marry this girl. But to do so would require her to come to US of A, and so it started. My problem free live turned in to free problems from USCIS! Sure things turned to unsure, certain dates turned to aproximation within months. All logical thinking was out the door, as I filed my papers withing famous Vermont Centre!

I-130 Received

12-12-07

I-130 Approved

8-28-2008

NVC

Date Package Received By NVC : 09-05-08

-- Received DS-3032 / I-864 Bill : 09-11-08

-- Pay I-864 Bill :09-11-08

-- Receive I-864 Package :09-15-08

-- Return I-864 Package :09-16-08

-- Return Completed DS-3032 :09-11-08

-- Receive IV Bill :09-17-2008

-- Pay IV Bill :09-17-2008

-- Receive Instruction Package :09-17-08

-- Case Completed at NVC :10-16-08

Date Package Left From NVC :10-31-08

Date Received By Consulate :11-05-08

Date Rec Instructions (Pkt 3) :11-05-08

Date Complete Instructions (Pkt 3) :11-05-08

Date Rec Appointment Letter (Pkt 4):11-25-08

Interview Date (IR-1/CR-1 Visa):12/08/08

Date IR-1/CR-1 Visa Received :12-11-08

Date of US Entry :12-17-08

Ban Hammer Grand Master

Ban Hammer   13,643

Posted
Filed: Citizen (apr) Country: Brazil
 Timeline
Posted

There is no 'ctrl' button on Chuck Norris's computer. Chuck Norris is always in control.

Apple pays Chuck Norris 99 cents every time he listens to a song.

Chuck Norris can sneeze with his eyes open.

Chuck Norris can eat just one Lay's potato chip.

Chuck Norris is suing Myspace for taking the name of what he calls everything around you.

Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.

Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.

Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.

Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.

Chuck Norris is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.

Chuck Norris’ hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.

Chuck Norris can lead a horse to water AND make it drink.

Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.

Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.

Chuck Norris does not get frostbite. Chuck Norris bites frost

Remember the Soviet Union? They decided to quit after watching a DeltaForce marathon on Satellite TV.

Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Chucktatorship.

* ~ * Charles * ~ *
 

I carry a gun because a cop is too heavy.

 

USE THE REPORT BUTTON INSTEAD OF MESSAGING A MODERATOR!

EstebanTrabajos Mentor

EstebanTrabajos   7

Posted
Filed: Citizen (pnd) Country: Mexico
 Timeline
Posted

Superman wears Chuck Norris pijamas

Chuck Norris doesn't do push-ups, he pushes the earth down.

05/01/08 Green Card in mailbox!!

06/05/10 Real GREEN Card RECEIVED!

01/17/13 Sent application for US Citizenship!!!

01/19/13 Arrived to Arizona Lockbox

01/24/13 Notice of Action

01/25/13 Check cashed

01/28/13 NOA received by mail and biometrics letter mailed as per uscis.gov

02/14/13 Biometrics appointment

03/18/13 In-line for inteview

 

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