Sub-Saharan cyber cafe # 2

[Zee Bee 61]

looks like we did it................yayyyyyyyyy for Obama

[Perseverance 1]

Hey ya'll!

Congrats Boaz!

Expedited EAD? Let me know how that turns out Naggie. Although, by the time I request an expedite, they will probably be ready to send the thing anyway. It's been three months now. Poor Bassi. He's in school, but annoyed that he can't make his own choices. Can you believe I've been married for three months!!??!! Woweee!! Time flies!

Thanks! What is your husband studying? I hope his EAD comes soon. My husband works during the day, and takes classes at night. He is pursuing a degree in Nursing. So ... needless to say, we don't get to spend a lot of extra time together. But we know it will all pay off in the long run.

Bassi is studying english. Don't say ANYTHING Zee! I know my husband speaks english, but he's very very insecure about his english. I decided it's better to support him in this than not. He doesn't really speak to my friends much cause he thinks they will mock his english. They wouldn't be friends if they would do that, but you know when someone is feeling insecure and out of control of their life, they are not always logical. I feel like once he starts working, his confidence will grow in leaps and bounds. I heard him telling his friend that he's a housewife now. He never says anything to me, but I sense it. I know he's dealing with stuff. I'm trying to be very supportive of him. I think he's getting to feeling more comfortable. It's slow going though. The classes do help him with little things like pants instead of trousers. Then I feel worse cause I'm from Guyana and unknowingly speak a bit of patua english from my country at home or when someone cuts me off in the car. It throws him off more, so I'm trying to be more aware when I do it. I have to pretend I'm at work all the time now so that I speak properly until he's comfortable. Bassi and I are in transition and doing amazingly well considering.

Justice my husband was also very self conscious about the same thing. When he went to work and was surrounded by people other than me it helped him so much, and he realised that his accent was not as much as he thought it was. They way he speaks is so differently now that sometimes when he speaks to people back home they dont know what he is saying they tell him that he sounds like an American now. Justice was also pretty depressed until he started working, being home all day was hard on him. It is a hard thing for an African man to stay home and see his wife go to work. These kinds of issues make the adjustment period so difficult and trying at times. It does get better, it just takes time and patience, things do get better and easier. Justice and I had a very hard time for the first year that he was here, before he came we never had a fight, we could work through disagreements, after he came here we had many fights, we both realise now that a huge factor in that was the adjustment period and his depression when he came here. Marriage is not an easy road to begin with, and then when you add in all of the immigration factors, it can break up a marriage if you are not cognisant of what is happening. I wish that we talked about this issue more in this forum, but those kinds of conversations always seem to turn into a flame war. I remember thinking that I was the only one going through this...but the reality was we all go through it to one degree or another, we just dont talk about it.

[Perseverance 1]

I KNEW THAT WE COULD DO IT!!! I BELEIVE I SAID BEFORE THAT THE UNTHINKABLE WOULD NOT HAPPEN!!!

THANK YOU EVERYONE WHO WENT OUT AND VOTED

[Simply_Uno 1]

hey all,

Today started out beautiful; sun shining, cool breezes, leaves falling, could not ask for more.

Then I had an appt with the lawyer (divorce). This man was as old as time and slower than cold molasses.

I swear, he should have been convelescing. It took him an hour and a half just to go over 6 sheets of paper, (mind you, most of it was "dna" or "none").

I kept asking him, "you want me to fill those in for ya?" and he kept saying "no, you just have to sign at a later date."

I'm like "geesh, can you move much slower, I really do want to sit here in dead silence with ya buddie!"

So when he finishes, he tells me, "welp, young lady, I look forward to meeting with you later."

I wanted to bite my toe nails off!" I was so ready to leave. But on a lighter note, I'm getting it done...finally.

Then, I had to contend with my grandmothers banking issues; she died two months ago today. Her health insurance company is still taking out the monthly premiums from her account and now its in the negative. When I tried to talk to them, they told me and I quote "ma'am, I need your grandmothers consent before I can discuss this account with you, is she available?" I'm like "umm, did you not understand me when I said she is deceased?" the rep then stated, "I heard you, but she still needs to give consent."

#######

7 years ago, my best friends husband died, he did not leave her in the best financial situation (no one "plans" to die unexpectantly) any way the bill collectors were calling and driving her crazy, same kind of senario, they would NOT comprehend that he was dead.... so one day she snapped, she gave them a "forwarding address" to where he could be found (the address to the cemetery where he was laid to rest including the plot number!!) "good luck getting anything out of him" she told them. She said to me "I know it was wrong...but I just could not take it anymore...my husband is dead...cant I get some kind of peace so I can mourn him?"

These kind of people deserve a real live ....

that is priceless

[Zee Bee 61]

Justice my husband was also very self conscious about the same thing. When he went to work and was surrounded by people other than me it helped him so much, and he realised that his accent was not as much as he thought it was. They way he speaks is so differently now that sometimes when he speaks to people back home they dont know what he is saying they tell him that he sounds like an American now. Justice was also pretty depressed until he started working, being home all day was hard on him. It is a hard thing for an African man to stay home and see his wife go to work. These kinds of issues make the adjustment period so difficult and trying at times. It does get better, it just takes time and patience, things do get better and easier. Justice and I had a very hard time for the first year that he was here, before he came we never had a fight, we could work through disagreements, after he came here we had many fights, we both realise now that a huge factor in that was the adjustment period and his depression when he came here. Marriage is not an easy road to begin with, and then when you add in all of the immigration factors, it can break up a marriage if you are not cognisant of what is happening. I wish that we talked about this issue more in this forum, but those kinds of conversations always seem to turn into a flame war. I remember thinking that I was the only one going through this...but the reality was we all go through it to one degree or another, we just dont talk about it.

You echoed my thoughts exactly

[Perseverance 1]

My appologies on all my catch up posts....I have not been around for a bit...

[Perseverance 1]

Justice my husband was also very self conscious about the same thing. When he went to work and was surrounded by people other than me it helped him so much, and he realised that his accent was not as much as he thought it was. They way he speaks is so differently now that sometimes when he speaks to people back home they dont know what he is saying they tell him that he sounds like an American now. Justice was also pretty depressed until he started working, being home all day was hard on him. It is a hard thing for an African man to stay home and see his wife go to work. These kinds of issues make the adjustment period so difficult and trying at times. It does get better, it just takes time and patience, things do get better and easier. Justice and I had a very hard time for the first year that he was here, before he came we never had a fight, we could work through disagreements, after he came here we had many fights, we both realise now that a huge factor in that was the adjustment period and his depression when he came here. Marriage is not an easy road to begin with, and then when you add in all of the immigration factors, it can break up a marriage if you are not cognisant of what is happening. I wish that we talked about this issue more in this forum, but those kinds of conversations always seem to turn into a flame war. I remember thinking that I was the only one going through this...but the reality was we all go through it to one degree or another, we just dont talk about it.

You echoed my thoughts exactly

Truthfully I have been debating for a while about posting a thread about this topic, but from my past experiences in this forum when I reached out about a difficult situation I got the beat down from several members. It only added to my already stressful situation.

[Perseverance 1]

Am I the only one crying after that speach... he is an amazing man....

Edited November 5, 2008 by Perseverance

[Simply_Uno 1]

Justice my husband was also very self conscious about the same thing. When he went to work and was surrounded by people other than me it helped him so much, and he realised that his accent was not as much as he thought it was. They way he speaks is so differently now that sometimes when he speaks to people back home they dont know what he is saying they tell him that he sounds like an American now. Justice was also pretty depressed until he started working, being home all day was hard on him. It is a hard thing for an African man to stay home and see his wife go to work. These kinds of issues make the adjustment period so difficult and trying at times. It does get better, it just takes time and patience, things do get better and easier. Justice and I had a very hard time for the first year that he was here, before he came we never had a fight, we could work through disagreements, after he came here we had many fights, we both realise now that a huge factor in that was the adjustment period and his depression when he came here. Marriage is not an easy road to begin with, and then when you add in all of the immigration factors, it can break up a marriage if you are not cognisant of what is happening. I wish that we talked about this issue more in this forum, but those kinds of conversations always seem to turn into a flame war. I remember thinking that I was the only one going through this...but the reality was we all go through it to one degree or another, we just dont talk about it.

You echoed my thoughts exactly

Truthfully I have been debating for a while about posting a thread about this topic, but from my past experiences in this forum when I reached out about a difficult situation I got the beat down from several members. It only added to my already stressful situation.

see, thats cuz you aint have the right peeps for back up, next time call the wonder twins Z and Z B)

Edited November 5, 2008 by UNO...

[forchika 4]

B-A-R-O-C-K THE VOTE!!!!!!!

[reeses16 8]

GOOD MORNING! I can't believe it- President Obama!!!!! I am so happy that I got to share last night with my grandparents and my hubby. Hubby and I had the best hug and cry before we began making phone calls. He called family and friends in Ethiopia before the news had reached them- they were so excited. It was crazy, a crowd gathered in our neighborhood and was chanting and shouting hours after Obama's acceptance speech.

On top of all of the significant things that Barack's election means, there is one very small thing that I also think about. His name. Hubby and I have talked about how to name our children. Fully Ethiopian names? American first, Ethiopian middle and last???? I worried about employment discrimination, and husband began to as well after he experienced it looking for his first job in the US. The fact that Barack Hussein Obama is OUR president means that it doesn't matter, or at least not as much as it used to. : )

[Ban Hammer 13,551]

good morning all, finally finished up the work on the trailer yesterday.

GOOD MORNING! I can't believe it- President Obama!!!!! I am so happy that I got to share last night with my grandparents and my hubby. Hubby and I had the best hug and cry before we began making phone calls. He called family and friends in Ethiopia before the news had reached them- they were so excited. It was crazy, a crowd gathered in our neighborhood and was chanting and shouting hours after Obama's acceptance speech.

On top of all of the significant things that Barack's election means, there is one very small thing that I also think about. His name. Hubby and I have talked about how to name our children. Fully Ethiopian names? American first, Ethiopian middle and last???? I worried about employment discrimination, and husband began to as well after he experienced it looking for his first job in the US. The fact that Barack Hussein Obama is OUR president means that it doesn't matter, or at least not as much as it used to. : )

um no he's not. bush is still our president, obama is the president elect. he'll be president on 20 jan 09.

[Simply_Uno 1]

good morning subbies, history has been made!!!

Hey Reese, I am just pin pointing on your comment about names.

Our new president elects name is originally "baraka hussein obama"

the meaning of his first name is or refers to: a blessing

baraka, also berakhah, in Judaism, a blessing usually recited during a ceremony

baraka, also barakah, in Islam and Arab-influenced languages, meaning spiritual wisdom and blessing transmitted from God

"Baraka", a rarely used French slang term for luck, derived from the Arabic word

"Baraka", aka Nigella sativa, a spice with purported health benefits

Baraka, means 'Blessing' in Kiswahili

If the names of your future children represents their rich heritage and culture and has some sort of definitive meaning to it, you should not worry about what society or any sub culture may think of their names. The most important thing is for your children to be raised with the understanding and history of their name and to be proud of who they are and where they come from. That way, you are equipping them to educate those who do not understand a name of substance.

God Bless

[reeses16 8]

My bad, Charles. President Elect Obama.

UNO,

Interesting! I fell in love with the name Baraka a few years ago. I figured the meaning was close to Barack...but didn't know his name was originally Baraka.

[Bassi and Zainab 1]

O, Bassi and I have had arguments last for days over misunderstandings. And this is what I have found. I DID hear him correctly the first time! The problem comes from how I interpret what I heard. Words seem to have different connotations for me and for him. I've had to learn to listen to him and then when I'm angry (which seems to happen in a heartbeat) take a deep breath and try to rephrase what I heard based on my understanding. 90% of the time, he didn't mean what I thought he meant. Sometimes, he'll explain what he and his friends/tribe mean when they say certain words in certain situations. And sometimes he's making obscure references to stuff I know nothing about (like a football player who has a propensity for certain behavior and has the nickname Water ) so I totally can't understand what he meant until he tries to explain it a different way.

Stevi, there are some things in our relationship that I have had to tell Bassi, Look, this is who I am and you aren't big enough to change me. Only God can change me so just love me through it. I realize that he may think it's not a good thing or want me to change, but he has to let it go and let it be. I've just found that easier than trying to explain why I do something. Sometimes I'm just completely irrational, deal with it man!

Uno, just couldn't let it slide!! My mother in law asked me if I'm pregnant. We've been married for 4 months. She probably thinks I'm broken.

O, I got that comforter last year at Sears in all green. It's soo warm. I love it. But I need another one cause Bassi is a blanket hog!

Where's LL and P? Still running through the streets screaming?