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Visa Pirates

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Ling Ling Proficient

Ling Ling   22

Posted
Filed: Other Country: Japan
 Timeline
Posted

Being frustrated with the Visa Process, I made a comment that sometimes it's difficult to trust what some of the operators tell you...as if you're dealing with Visa Pirates.

Well, this lead to a comment from a VJer, and my creating a short story about the Visa Pirate.

I invite anyone to add to this with their own humor.

Johnny Depp as "The Visa Pirate"

JD: Arghhhhhh, what be yer NVC case number matey?

VJ: Kiss My...I mean KMA2008001001

JD: And what be yer beneficiary name and date-o-birth?

VJ: Sex E. Spouse, born 01/01/88

JD: And what be yer name and date-o-birth?

VJ: Spouse Ben Waiting, born 01/01/87

JD: And yer phone number still be 1.800.HowOldWill I Be Before We Get This Damned VISA?

VJ: Yes, that's my number.

JD: And how can we help you?

VJ: Well, I was calling for Nimche

JD: Is that crazy guy still around? If he calls here one more time...

VJ: Yeah, that's why he asked me to call.

JD: Arghhhh, yer ready to walk the plank for him, is ya?

VJ: Well, actually we just had a simple question.

JD: Arghhhh, der ain't no simple questions here, only simple Pirate Operators.

VJ: Ok, I won't argue with you...but, I've got a question about the DS-230

JD: You mean yer not callin' about an IIN? Every time I deny someone an IIN I get a new gold tooth.

VJ: Sorry, not this time....maybe next time.

JD: Then what is it you want matey?

VJ: Well, I was wondering...

JD: 2 to 4 weeks matey.

VJ: But I didn't ask the question yet, how do you know it's 2 to 4 weeks?

JD: EaryTing is 2 to 4 weeks maety....unless of course it's 4 to 6 weeks...I was trying to be nice to ya.

VJ: Well, thanks, but here's the question....do foreign birth certificates and marriage licenses need to be translated.

JD: Who the hell are you calling up here and using multi-syllable words? Now I've gotta check the Visa Pirate handbook.

VJ: Thanks, and I'm sorry.

JD: You will be sorry.....OK, says her we need them in the original language.

VJ: But can you read Farsi, Arabic, Nihongo, Mandarin?

JD: 4 to 6...oh, I'm sorry what was the question?

VJ: Never mind....er, thanks.

JD: No problem matey, you just call back anytime you want....we're here to serve you.

LingChe NVC Guide

Using this guide may allow you to fly through NVC in as little as 11 days.

visajourney.com/wiki/index.php/LingChe_NVC_ShortCut

--------------------

Our Visa Journey

2006-11-01: Met online through common interest in music - NOT Dating Service

2007-01-28: Met in person in Paris

2007-10-02: Married in Tokyo

2008-07-05: I-130 Sent

2008-08-13: NOA2 I-130

2008-10-02: Case Complete at NVC

2008-11-04: Interview - CR-1 Visa APPROVED

2008-12-11: POE - Chicago

2009-01-12: GC and Welcome Letter

2010-09-01: Preparing I-751 Removal of Conditions

2011-03-22: Card Production Ordered

2011-03-30 10 Year Card Received DONE FOR 10 YEARS

Standard Disclaimer (may not be valid in Iowa or Kentucky, please check your local laws): Any information given should not be considered legal advice,

and is based on personal experience or personal knowledge. Sometimes there might not be any information at all in my posts. Sometimes it might just

be humor or chit-chat, or nonsense. Deal with it. If you can read this...you're too close. Step away from the LingLing

YES WE DID!

And it appears to have made very little difference.

.png

jundp Mentor

jundp   191

Posted
Filed: Country: Germany
 Timeline
Posted

Cute :)

____________________________________

Done with USCIS until 12/28/2020!

penguinpasscanada.jpg

"What difference does it make to the dead, the orphans, and the homeless, whether the mad destruction is wrought under the name of totalitarianism or the holy name of liberty and democracy?" ~Gandhi

Ling Ling Proficient

Ling Ling   22

Posted
Filed: Other Country: Japan
 Timeline
  • Author
Posted
Very similar to the real world!

Yeah...sometimes reality is funnier/sadder than fiction.

LingChe NVC Guide

Using this guide may allow you to fly through NVC in as little as 11 days.

visajourney.com/wiki/index.php/LingChe_NVC_ShortCut

--------------------

Our Visa Journey

2006-11-01: Met online through common interest in music - NOT Dating Service

2007-01-28: Met in person in Paris

2007-10-02: Married in Tokyo

2008-07-05: I-130 Sent

2008-08-13: NOA2 I-130

2008-10-02: Case Complete at NVC

2008-11-04: Interview - CR-1 Visa APPROVED

2008-12-11: POE - Chicago

2009-01-12: GC and Welcome Letter

2010-09-01: Preparing I-751 Removal of Conditions

2011-03-22: Card Production Ordered

2011-03-30 10 Year Card Received DONE FOR 10 YEARS

Standard Disclaimer (may not be valid in Iowa or Kentucky, please check your local laws): Any information given should not be considered legal advice,

and is based on personal experience or personal knowledge. Sometimes there might not be any information at all in my posts. Sometimes it might just

be humor or chit-chat, or nonsense. Deal with it. If you can read this...you're too close. Step away from the LingLing

YES WE DID!

And it appears to have made very little difference.

.png

*JG* Grand Master

*JG*   2

Posted
Filed: Country: Jamaica
 Timeline
Posted

You are too crazy.

Thanks for the laughs today.

Life's just a crazy ride on a run away train

You can't go back for what you've missed

So make it count, hold on tight find a way to make it right

You only get one trip

So make it good, make it last 'cause it all flies by so fast

You only get one trip

nimche Proficient

nimche   8

Posted
Filed: Citizen (pnd) Timeline
Posted

I am still laughing at this, really funny

LingChe's ShortCut

|--IR-1 Graduate--|For my Wife-Done 11/21/2008

|--IR-5 Graduate--|For Parents-Done

|--Citizenship for Spouse

Field Office: San Diego,CA

11/xx/2008 GC Rcvd

10/26/2011 N-400 mailed EX to AZ

10/27/2011 Priority Date

10/31/2011 Text Message received

11/01/2011 Check Cashed

11/07/2011 Finger Print letter mailed

11/09/2011 Finger Print letter Received for 11/30/2011

11/14/2011 Finger Print Done(walk-in)

11/28/2011 In Line For Interview

12/09/2011 Interview Scheduled

01/18/2012 Interview Date

02/22/2012 Oath Ceremony

YES WE CAN!

  • 2 weeks later...
Boorai Enthusiast

Boorai   0

Posted
Filed: IR-1/CR-1 Visa Country: Philippines
 Timeline
Posted
I am still laughing at this, really funny

Classic!!..Exactly on point. And the darn Automation is NEVER right. My AOS has been approved...but automation states my file number is not on recognied yet....LOL

Goog job...and someone PLEASE shot the parate.

05-21-06 - Met online

12-29-07 - Married at 6pm THE LAST TIME I'LL FALL IN LOVE

07-28-08 - Mailed I-130(Chicago, $355 X 2)

07-31-08 - NOA1(I-130 recieved in Chicago)

08-01-08 - Hard copy NOA1 (I recieved the NOA1 via mail)

08-25-08 - Hard copy NOA2(I-130 approved and recieved by me)

08-27-08 - NVC assigns case number(verified via telephone call)

09-05-08 - Received DS-3032 and AOS bill(checked by phone and noted on travel web site)

09-05-08 - Paid AOS bill online --- pending (paid on-line $70)

09-06-08 - Emailed DS-3032 --- auto response (email that NVC recieved an email from Grace, nothing more)

09-09-08 - AOS bill --- PAID!! (noted on travel web site as "PAID")

09-11-09 - Grace recieved DS-3032s, still no response to the email...(wife got a birthday package from her hubby :) )

09-12-09 - Mailed DS-3032 via FedEx. Also mailed out AOS(paper mailed just to be certain they get one)

09-15-09 - NVC accepts DS-3032..FINALLY!!!(verified via email response and telephone call)

09-15-09 - IV Bill paid online - in process($400 X 2)

09-16-08 - AOS revieced by NVC and being reviewed.(verified via telephone call)

09-17-08 - Immigrant VISA Bill fee "PAID" (verified on-line)

09-24-08 - AOS approved(verified via telephone call)

10-06-08 - DS230 recieved by NVC

10-10-08 - CASE COMPLETED AT NVC

10-29-08 - Appointment Schedule for 12-9-2008(verified by telephone call to NVC)

11-03-08 - Recieved Appointment letter via snail mail

11-25-08 - Medical Exam at St. Lukes Medical Center

12-09-08 - Interview at 630am.......VISAs APPROVED!!

 

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