Discoverying your daughter is bi-sexual/gay/?

[Hilarious Clinton 452]

When I was in the Navy we had a saying..... "if after the third time you don't like it, you're not gay"

[sarah and hicham 3]

You are right on this, BUT can they put questions (unconciously) in her head and make her want to experiment more than if she didn't hang around with them every day at practice/games? As I said, 9 out of 13 of the team have girlfriends, and since she looks up to the older girls (as all girls do), she accepts this maybe more than she would have if she wasn't on the team and heard about all the gay girls on the team. Does this make sense?

Mom,

Of course these other girls can influence her to sexually experiment with other girls, just as they could influence her to try smoking/drugs/alcohol/new hairstyles/new genres of books/other sports, etc. Friends have HUGE impacts on children. The best thing you can do, as a mother, is to always maintain open communication between you and your children. Talk to them. Tell them you love them no matter what, but voice your concerns if you have valid reasons to do so. Above all, you must allow your children to make their own decisions. If negative consequences arise because of these decisions, they will only serve to teach.

I don't think that influencing someone to try drugs should be put into the same boat as experimenting with sexuality- MOST people do not experiment with the same sex before they know what their preference is. I did not and I can assure you that most people here did not. You are either attracted to men or you're attracted to women, yes some are attracted to both, and some do experiment but most do not. I'm sorry but reading that you think that her sexual preferences can be influenced by the other girls as much as they will influence her to try drugs is pretty much the most rediculous think i have ever read. When is the last time you have heard about peer pressure to be gay?

[aussiewench 9]

When I was in the Navy we had a saying..... "if after the third time you don't like it, you're not gay"

[jelti 0]

You are right on this, BUT can they put questions (unconciously) in her head and make her want to experiment more than if she didn't hang around with them every day at practice/games? As I said, 9 out of 13 of the team have girlfriends, and since she looks up to the older girls (as all girls do), she accepts this maybe more than she would have if she wasn't on the team and heard about all the gay girls on the team. Does this make sense?

Mom,

Of course these other girls can influence her to sexually experiment with other girls, just as they could influence her to try smoking/drugs/alcohol/new hairstyles/new genres of books/other sports, etc. Friends have HUGE impacts on children. The best thing you can do, as a mother, is to always maintain open communication between you and your children. Talk to them. Tell them you love them no matter what, but voice your concerns if you have valid reasons to do so. Above all, you must allow your children to make their own decisions. If negative consequences arise because of these decisions, they will only serve to teach.

I don't care how much peer pressure I got in school, I'd never lick a minge.

This choice was your daughter's and no one else's.

That's because you choose not to. Again...choice. I got tons of peer pressure back in high school to smoke weed, I mean tons and tons. But I didn't do it. It was my choice. My best friend Brooke got tons and tons of peer pressure to smoke weed by the same people. She did it. It was her choice, and I don't condemn her for it. Once I went away to college, however, and had absolutley no peer pressure whatsoever, I made choices that I would never have made back in high school.

I see that we are in agreement that this choice belongs to her daughter.

[sowens 0]

You are right on this, BUT can they put questions (unconciously) in her head and make her want to experiment more than if she didn't hang around with them every day at practice/games? As I said, 9 out of 13 of the team have girlfriends, and since she looks up to the older girls (as all girls do), she accepts this maybe more than she would have if she wasn't on the team and heard about all the gay girls on the team. Does this make sense?

Mom,

Of course these other girls can influence her to sexually experiment with other girls, just as they could influence her to try smoking/drugs/alcohol/new hairstyles/new genres of books/other sports, etc. Friends have HUGE impacts on children. The best thing you can do, as a mother, is to always maintain open communication between you and your children. Talk to them. Tell them you love them no matter what, but voice your concerns if you have valid reasons to do so. Above all, you must allow your children to make their own decisions. If negative consequences arise because of these decisions, they will only serve to teach.

I don't think that influencing someone to try drugs should be put into the same boat as experimenting with sexuality- MOST people do not experiment with the same sex before they know what their preference is. I did not and I can assure you that most people here did not. You are either attracted to men or you're attracted to women, yes some are attracted to both, and some do experiment but most do not. I'm sorry but reading that you think that her sexual preferences can be influenced by the other girls as much as they will influence her to try drugs is pretty much the most rediculous think i have ever read. When is the last time you have heard about peer pressure to be gay?

I agree ,on most of this, I had all sorts of gay friends, and some that even asked me to experiment, I didnt feel the need as i knew what i prefered. I wont say that i am not attracted to women, lets face it, there are some very beautiful women out there and i can appreciate that beauty, i just know what i prefer. Every kid goes thru some sort of peer pressure, its how they deal with it, and if they really didnt want to be pressured they would find away around the situation.

[sarah and hicham 3]

You are right on this, BUT can they put questions (unconciously) in her head and make her want to experiment more than if she didn't hang around with them every day at practice/games? As I said, 9 out of 13 of the team have girlfriends, and since she looks up to the older girls (as all girls do), she accepts this maybe more than she would have if she wasn't on the team and heard about all the gay girls on the team. Does this make sense?

Mom,

Of course these other girls can influence her to sexually experiment with other girls, just as they could influence her to try smoking/drugs/alcohol/new hairstyles/new genres of books/other sports, etc. Friends have HUGE impacts on children. The best thing you can do, as a mother, is to always maintain open communication between you and your children. Talk to them. Tell them you love them no matter what, but voice your concerns if you have valid reasons to do so. Above all, you must allow your children to make their own decisions. If negative consequences arise because of these decisions, they will only serve to teach.

oh dear. We're talking about being influenced into gayness. Obviously we all know about peer pressure to smoke, drink or do drugs. I am asking you when is the last time you have been pressured into being gay? I am in college and I have a lot of experience with peer pressure- I was also on my high school softball and golf team which are pretty much the biggest lesbian gatherings you can find and I never, not once felt attracted to women or felt pressured or influenced by others being gay. I am attracted to men, not women and I cannot in any way be influenced into liking women sowy.

I don't care how much peer pressure I got in school, I'd never lick a minge.

This choice was your daughter's and no one else's.

That's because you choose not to. Again...choice. I got tons of peer pressure back in high school to smoke weed, I mean tons and tons. But I didn't do it. It was my choice. My best friend Brooke got tons and tons of peer pressure to smoke weed by the same people. She did it. It was her choice, and I don't condemn her for it. Once I went away to college, however, and had absolutley no peer pressure whatsoever, I made choices that I would never have made back in high school.

I see that we are in agreement that this choice belongs to her daughter.

[jelti 0]

You are right on this, BUT can they put questions (unconciously) in her head and make her want to experiment more than if she didn't hang around with them every day at practice/games? As I said, 9 out of 13 of the team have girlfriends, and since she looks up to the older girls (as all girls do), she accepts this maybe more than she would have if she wasn't on the team and heard about all the gay girls on the team. Does this make sense?

Mom,

Of course these other girls can influence her to sexually experiment with other girls, just as they could influence her to try smoking/drugs/alcohol/new hairstyles/new genres of books/other sports, etc. Friends have HUGE impacts on children. The best thing you can do, as a mother, is to always maintain open communication between you and your children. Talk to them. Tell them you love them no matter what, but voice your concerns if you have valid reasons to do so. Above all, you must allow your children to make their own decisions. If negative consequences arise because of these decisions, they will only serve to teach.

I don't think that influencing someone to try drugs should be put into the same boat as experimenting with sexuality- MOST people do not experiment with the same sex before they know what their preference is. I did not and I can assure you that most people here did not. You are either attracted to men or you're attracted to women, yes some are attracted to both, and some do experiment but most do not. I'm sorry but reading that you think that her sexual preferences can be influenced by the other girls as much as they will influence her to try drugs is pretty much the most rediculous think i have ever read. When is the last time you have heard about peer pressure to be gay?

Ha! Have you ever played softball?!

My goodness gracious, you are either extremely naive, or in denial.

I mean no offense to you whatsoever, indeed I have not meant any offense to anyone with my opinions. But the fact is that you are very misguided on some of the information you are presenting. You contradict yourself by saying "some are attracted to men, some are attracted to women, some are attracted to both, and some do experiement but most do not..." Ok, uh...what? Many, many, MANY children DO experiment before they realize their "sexual preference" (and preference here meaning CHOICE!!). Gather some real facts, please, before ranting on and on and on.

I'm sorry if this causes the majority of people on VJ to think less of me. But all of us need to get off our damn high horse and realize that PEOPLE ARE UNIQUE AND HAVE DIFFERING OPINIONS. Sheesh.

[pax 0]

OP, are you familiar with P-FLAG (Parents, Families, and Friends of Lesbians and Gays)? They are an excellent group that runs support groups all around the country. A P-FLAG group might be a great place for you to discuss your situation with people who have been in similar ones.

www.pflag.org

[sarah and hicham 3]

You are right on this, BUT can they put questions (unconciously) in her head and make her want to experiment more than if she didn't hang around with them every day at practice/games? As I said, 9 out of 13 of the team have girlfriends, and since she looks up to the older girls (as all girls do), she accepts this maybe more than she would have if she wasn't on the team and heard about all the gay girls on the team. Does this make sense?

Mom,

Of course these other girls can influence her to sexually experiment with other girls, just as they could influence her to try smoking/drugs/alcohol/new hairstyles/new genres of books/other sports, etc. Friends have HUGE impacts on children. The best thing you can do, as a mother, is to always maintain open communication between you and your children. Talk to them. Tell them you love them no matter what, but voice your concerns if you have valid reasons to do so. Above all, you must allow your children to make their own decisions. If negative consequences arise because of these decisions, they will only serve to teach.

I don't think that influencing someone to try drugs should be put into the same boat as experimenting with sexuality- MOST people do not experiment with the same sex before they know what their preference is. I did not and I can assure you that most people here did not. You are either attracted to men or you're attracted to women, yes some are attracted to both, and some do experiment but most do not. I'm sorry but reading that you think that her sexual preferences can be influenced by the other girls as much as they will influence her to try drugs is pretty much the most rediculous think i have ever read. When is the last time you have heard about peer pressure to be gay?

Ha! Have you ever played softball?!

My goodness gracious, you are either extremely naive, or in denial.

I mean no offense to you whatsoever, indeed I have not meant any offense to anyone with my opinions. But the fact is that you are very misguided on some of the information you are presenting. You contradict yourself by saying "some are attracted to men, some are attracted to women, some are attracted to both, and some do experiement but most do not..." Ok, uh...what? Many, many, MANY children DO experiment before they realize their "sexual preference" (and preference here meaning CHOICE!!). Gather some real facts, please, before ranting on and on and on.

I'm sorry if this causes the majority of people on VJ to think less of me. But all of us need to get off our damn high horse and realize that PEOPLE ARE UNIQUE AND HAVE DIFFERING OPINIONS. Sheesh.

yes, hello. I just stated that I played softball AND golf so believe you me I know more gay women than most people here I am sure.

ps. my horse is so damn high I can't see the ground and boy do I like it.

I'm out, not point in trying to reason with someone who thinks that choosing to be gay is like choosing to try drugs. Too bad.

[jelti 0]

You are right on this, BUT can they put questions (unconciously) in her head and make her want to experiment more than if she didn't hang around with them every day at practice/games? As I said, 9 out of 13 of the team have girlfriends, and since she looks up to the older girls (as all girls do), she accepts this maybe more than she would have if she wasn't on the team and heard about all the gay girls on the team. Does this make sense?

Mom,

Of course these other girls can influence her to sexually experiment with other girls, just as they could influence her to try smoking/drugs/alcohol/new hairstyles/new genres of books/other sports, etc. Friends have HUGE impacts on children. The best thing you can do, as a mother, is to always maintain open communication between you and your children. Talk to them. Tell them you love them no matter what, but voice your concerns if you have valid reasons to do so. Above all, you must allow your children to make their own decisions. If negative consequences arise because of these decisions, they will only serve to teach.

I don't think that influencing someone to try drugs should be put into the same boat as experimenting with sexuality- MOST people do not experiment with the same sex before they know what their preference is. I did not and I can assure you that most people here did not. You are either attracted to men or you're attracted to women, yes some are attracted to both, and some do experiment but most do not. I'm sorry but reading that you think that her sexual preferences can be influenced by the other girls as much as they will influence her to try drugs is pretty much the most rediculous think i have ever read. When is the last time you have heard about peer pressure to be gay?

Ha! Have you ever played softball?!

My goodness gracious, you are either extremely naive, or in denial.

I mean no offense to you whatsoever, indeed I have not meant any offense to anyone with my opinions. But the fact is that you are very misguided on some of the information you are presenting. You contradict yourself by saying "some are attracted to men, some are attracted to women, some are attracted to both, and some do experiement but most do not..." Ok, uh...what? Many, many, MANY children DO experiment before they realize their "sexual preference" (and preference here meaning CHOICE!!). Gather some real facts, please, before ranting on and on and on.

I'm sorry if this causes the majority of people on VJ to think less of me. But all of us need to get off our damn high horse and realize that PEOPLE ARE UNIQUE AND HAVE DIFFERING OPINIONS. Sheesh.

yes, hello. I just stated that I played softball AND golf so believe you me I know more gay women than most people here I am sure.

ps. my horse is so damn high I can't see the ground and boy do I like it.

I apologize for missing the fact that you have played softball. And knowing more gay women than most of us here has nothing to do with the fact that peer pressure can influence children to experiment with members of the same sex, just as peer pressure can influence children to experiement with members of the opposite sex.

P.S. I've noticed.

[ChristinaM 0]

Personally I am of the school which says that homosexuality is born, not bred. (There is a line of research which suggests that the amount of testosterone supplied to the foetus at varying stages of development somewhat helps determine this.)

If you treat it as a choice, then you have say "is my daughter, at 20 years old, mature enough to make that choice?". If you feel, Mom, that you have raised your daughter to be a kind, loving person and a good citizen, then in my opinion it is not your place to make this "choice" for her. It is a "choice" which will affect her whole life, and if there worst impact on you is the whispering of the neighbours I really think you need to take a deep breath and accept that your daughter is not the only gay girl in the world.

Regardless of whether you treat it as something over which your daughter has no control or a decision of her own making, your daughter needs your support. She needs to know that you do not love her any less. It may be ok to let her know that you are disappointed that she will not have the life you hoped of for her, but only in the context of you supporting her in the life she will have.

Good luck in dealing with your personal issues.

[jelti 0]

I'm out, not point in trying to reason with someone who thinks that choosing to be gay is like choosing to try drugs. Too bad.

Too bad you enjoy putting words in my mouth.

[Fandango 1,440]

SOFTBALL DOES NOT MAKE GIRLS GAY!

[sowens 0]

Seems funny, I played softball for years, not one agy chick on the team, now later in life I dont know what happened to them, but we were teenagers and all of them boy crazy. I just dont believe your sexuality is determined by what sports you play. Sexuality is a choice.

[jelti 0]

SOFTBALL DOES NOT MAKE GIRLS GAY!

NO #######!