Discoverying your daughter is bi-sexual/gay/?

[Hilarious Clinton 452]

Lesbian porn is the best.

[jelti 0]

Lesbian porn is the best.

Somehow, I fail to see how that's relevant to the discussion at hand. This is someone's daughter, not a porn star.

Edited May 24, 2006 by jelti

[sarah and hicham 3]

I would really hope that if I was gay/bi that my Mom would be supportive of me- and I think she would be. You are pushing both of your daughters away by acting like this is wrong, keeping her from what she wants and what her preferences are, and seperating your daughters. I believe that being gay is not something you just pick up one day but that it happens from birth. There is nothing wrong with it, nothing at all. And if your younger daughter is gay also, so what? What's wrong with that? If you keep your kids from being who they really are they are only going to be tormented in life. I think that's sad. How can you keep her away from other girls for the rest of her life? You're her Mom so it's understandable that you are being protective, but you can't choose whether or not they like women or men and you certainly cannot change their sexuality.

As far as the school part goes- here is my input as a current college student. My grades went downhill big time for 3 quarters when I had my first boyfriend. When I realized that I needed to get things back into order- I did just that. Your daughter will be fine in school and I know that you being supportive of her will help her in all aspects of her life and will carry over into her education. You can't do much more than that because she is an adult and she knows that getting a good education will help her so once she really realizes that she needs to get good grades, she will. If she doesn't, then maybe she just isn't ready for school which sometimes that is the case. I don't know if you have tried this but maybe you could offer incentives like helping her pay off her loans if she achieves a certain GPA.

Good luck

Sarah

[Hilarious Clinton 452]

Lesbian porn is the best.

Somehow, I fail to see how that's relevant to the discussion at hand. This is someone's daughter, not a porn star.

How do know she's not? The OP is hiding her identity. She could be hiding more.

[Fandango 1,440]

sorry lisa but to me it really did seem like she was trying to manipulate her daughter's sexual orientation. i just feel very strongly about that and think it's wrong

Right but we're really not seeing a whole pic here....just a small post. It's obvious that the OP loves her family....and you have to admit that we still are not as evolved as a society to say 'gay? GREAT!' (which is why I think Bush was reelected). A parent is likely to go thru stages of adjusting to news like this.

[MomNeedsAdvice 0]

I do not love my daughter any less at all!!! I have certainly been through a lot of ups and down with her in her 20 years. I honestly am embarassed though, whether that is right or wrong, that is what I am feeling right now. I am embarassed that older sister is going to come to younger sister's softball games with her possee of girls sitting on the bleachers and I am going to get looks or hear whispers from other parents of the 13/14 year old girls and also the coaches. These are the kind of girls you can tell are not just a group of girls hanging out together as some are "butchier" than others, and I'm sorry if that offends anyone, but I didn't really know how to put it. Some dress more like guys, have short, guy-like hair cuts, etc.

It's easy to tell someone they shouldn't be embarassed, but it's another to live it, at least at first when it is a new situation. I do appreciate everyone's input and comments though. It is just hard to get used to, so please don't bash me on how I feel, as these are my feelings, right or wrong.

[jelti 0]

Lesbian porn is the best.

Somehow, I fail to see how that's relevant to the discussion at hand. This is someone's daughter, not a porn star.

How do know she's not? The OP is hiding her identity. She could be hiding more.

Oh give me a break. The OP did not ask for crude comments on whether or not her daughter might be a lesbian porn star. Think about people's feelings before posting your irrelevant opinions.

[sarah and hicham 3]

I do not love my daughter any less at all!!! I have certainly been through a lot of ups and down with her in her 20 years. I honestly am embarassed though, whether that is right or wrong, that is what I am feeling right now. I am embarassed that older sister is going to come to younger sister's softball games with her possee of girls sitting on the bleachers and I am going to get looks or hear whispers from other parents of the 13/14 year old girls and also the coaches. These are the kind of girls you can tell are not just a group of girls hanging out together as some are "butchier" than others, and I'm sorry if that offends anyone, but I didn't really know how to put it. Some dress more like guys, have short, guy-like hair cuts, etc.

It's easy to tell someone they shouldn't be embarassed, but it's another to live it, at least at first when it is a new situation. I do appreciate everyone's input and comments though. It is just hard to get used to, so please don't bash me on how I feel, as these are my feelings, right or wrong.

If you spend your life trying to impress others and worried about what everyone thinks then you're not going to be happy and you're not going to get anywhere. Why does it matter what other people think? Are they more important than your own family? Come on!

[sowens 0]

I cannot get this off my mind, so I will share my experience, not exactly the same but similar. I have 6 older brothers, 2 have passed on, one by drunk driver , the other by asthma attack, I was close to both and it was a huge shock on my family. The youngest brother came home and said that he had fallen for a girl, as he was telling my family, I knew who she was. We are white she is black, we have never been racist, but my parents werent exactly thrilled, mom was easier to accept than my dad. I took my dad aside and explained it to him like he was 9......semmed easier that way. I said "dad you have lost 2 children and not by choice, would you be willing to give up another?" he said no of course.." but in not accepting him for who he loves you could very well do that" I know the situation is different, but dont loose out on what time GOD allows you with your family over a difference of opinion on who your child loves.... Family is the most important gift, isnt that why we are all here? we are trying to get our families back together. I hope and pray for your family MOM that you can work this out. As for wanting to remane nameless its your right and I dont think its because your ashamed of your daughter I think it maybe because you have friends here and at times we dont know just how judgemental our friends can be in certain situations. Best of luck to you MOM!

[Hilarious Clinton 452]

Lesbian porn is the best.

Somehow, I fail to see how that's relevant to the discussion at hand. This is someone's daughter, not a porn star.

How do know she's not? The OP is hiding her identity. She could be hiding more.

Oh give me a break. The OP did not ask for crude comments on whether or not her daughter might be a lesbian porn star. Think about people's feelings before posting your irrelevant opinions.

I support lesbians and gays. Do you? You are closed minded and say it's a choice. I say people are born that way and to love them the way they are.

[jelti 0]

Lesbian porn is the best.

Somehow, I fail to see how that's relevant to the discussion at hand. This is someone's daughter, not a porn star.

How do know she's not? The OP is hiding her identity. She could be hiding more.

Oh give me a break. The OP did not ask for crude comments on whether or not her daughter might be a lesbian porn star. Think about people's feelings before posting your irrelevant opinions.

I support lesbians and gays. Do you? You are closed minded and say it's a choice. I say people are born that way and to love them the way they are.

I do not judge anyone for their decisions, and I believe everyone has control over their own destinies. Yes, I do believe homosexual actions are a choice. Does that make me close-minded? No. You believe that people are born that way. Does that make you close-minded? No. It's called a difference in opinion.

Edited May 24, 2006 by jelti

[Sister Fracas 5]

I do not love my daughter any less at all!!! I have certainly been through a lot of ups and down with her in her 20 years. I honestly am embarassed though, whether that is right or wrong, that is what I am feeling right now. I am embarassed that older sister is going to come to younger sister's softball games with her possee of girls sitting on the bleachers and I am going to get looks or hear whispers from other parents of the 13/14 year old girls and also the coaches. These are the kind of girls you can tell are not just a group of girls hanging out together as some are "butchier" than others, and I'm sorry if that offends anyone, but I didn't really know how to put it. Some dress more like guys, have short, guy-like hair cuts, etc.

It's easy to tell someone they shouldn't be embarassed, but it's another to live it, at least at first when it is a new situation. I do appreciate everyone's input and comments though. It is just hard to get used to, so please don't bash me on how I feel, as these are my feelings, right or wrong.

But who is more important...your daughters or a group of whispering parents? Kick the gossipers to the curb and be proud of your daughter for the woman she is. She may be testing you too (with the falling grades), to make sure that no matter what she throws at you, you'll still love her. Don't let her doubt it for one minute.

[Fandango 1,440]

I agree with Frances 100% but I think it's easier said than done (as per the whispers)

[jelti 0]

I agree with Frances 100% but I think it's easier said than done (as per the whispers)

I agree, Lisa...

[Laveau 67]

My 16 year old daughter is gay. She came out to me this past January when her 1st gf broke up with her. I suspected she was but she always had denied it in the past. She still is very hush hush about her sexuality because of the prejudice against homosexuals. Anyway, I didn't read the thread because my time is limited since I am at work but figured I'd post. My question is: why are you freaked out that she's gay? Does she flaunt it? That would bug me whether my daughter was gay or straight.