A Soulful Relationship...

[Gumbolette 58]

A Soulful Relationship by Reverend Ronald McFadden

If you're not married yet, share this with a friend.

If you are married, share it with your spouse or other

married couples.. and reflect on it.

An African proverb states, "Before you get married,

keep both eyes open, and after you marry, close one eye."

Before you get involved and make a commitment to

someone, don't let lust, desperation, immaturity,

ignorance, pressure from others or a low self-esteem

make you blind to warning signs. Keep your eyes open,

and don't fool yourself that you can change someone or

that what you see as faults aren't really important.

Once you decide to commit to someone, over time their

flaws, vulnerabilities, pet peeves, and differences

will become more obvious.

If you love your mate and want the relationship to

grow and evolve, you've got to learn to close one eye

and not let every little thing bother you.

You and your mate have many different expectations,

emotional needs, values, dreams, weaknesses, and

strengths. You are two unique individuals who have

decided to share a life together.

Neither of you are perfect, but are you perfect for

each other? Do you bring out the best of each other?

Do you compliment and compromise with each other, or

do you compete, compare, and control? What do you

bring to the relationship? Do you bring past

relationships, past hurt, past mistrust, past pain?

You can't take someone to the altar to alter him or

her. You can't make someone love you or make someone

stay. If you develop self-esteem, spiritual

discernment, and "a life", you won't find yourself

making someone else responsible for your happiness or

responsible for your pain. Manipulation, control,

jealousy, neediness, and selfishness are not the

ingredients of a thriving, healthy, loving and lasting

relationship.

Seeking status, s*x, wealth, and security are the

wrong reasons to be in a relationship. What keeps a

relationship strong?

Communication, intimacy, trust, a sense of humor,

sharing household tasks, some getaway time without

business or children and daily exchanges (a meal,

shared activity, a hug, a call, a touch, a note).

Leave a nice message on their voicemail or send a nice

email. Sharing common goals and interests.

Growth is important. Grow together, not away from each

other, giving each other space to grow without feeling

insecure. Allow your mate to have outside interest.

You can't always be together. Give each other a sense

of belonging and assurances of commitment. Don't try

to control one another. Learn each other's family

situation. Respect his or her parents regardless.

Don't put pressure on each other for material goods.

Remember for richer or for poorer. If these qualities

are missing, the relationship will erode as

resentment, withdrawal, abuse, neglect, dishonesty,

and pain replace the passion.

" Nurture your mind with great thoughts, for you will

never go any higher than you think." The grass

withers, the flowers fades, but the word of God stands

forever. Isaiah 40:8 Shall we make a new rule of life from tonight.

Always to try to be a little kinder than is necessary.

The difference between 'United' and 'Untied' is where

you put the i.

Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take,

but by the moments that take our breath away.

[...lovekita.... 0]

Great Post... :)

[mrsartis 10]

awwww..

[Gumbolette 58]

Great Post... :)

It is very striking...

[filirican 3]

tagos sa laman!

[happyinlove012408 0]

That is a great post. It is a great reminder of what we have and what we need to avoid in order to have a great life together. Thanks

[Gumbolette 58]

If we will always believe in this great words, I surely believe that every couple will have most endearing life here on earth...

goodluck to all of us!