caught fiance going to having accounts with porno chats

[Completely 3]

What's missing from the OP on all this, is the previous commitments they made to each other before she arrived, how long was their relationship, and how many times they saw each other. That really leads to the question, do you really know the person you are about to marry? And the key word is doubts!!!

The law makes marriage easy, but you cannot believe the rats in the legal system that make a very nice living if you have to get a divorce. After my first marriage, meditated on all the doubts I had with some strange believe the Holy Spirit would come down and correct those, ha, he or she went the other way.

One sure sign of finding the right one, that urge to keep on looking is completely gone, so why is this guy still looking, teasing, flirting, or whatever you want to call it? Another gloomy event is while the woman is suffering in the labor room having the guys baby, he is out playing around instead of being with her. Have to keep in mind that over 50% of the present marriages end up in divorce.

Should be no doubts in a relationship and thou shalt covet thy owns wife. These are just some things to think about, it's your life.

Great explanation Nick!

[ziia 9]

This is my own point of view so please don't take it as a rule. I think it is one thing to look at free porn clips and vids in the absence of a woman arround, to satisfy the loenliness and urges of moment but it is a whole different story to pay a monthly fee and have access to loads of porn 24/7. This girl might be dealing with more than just a hunch or doubt. Let's be honest here, most people watch porn, even buy a DVD once in a while, but only a certain type of people(tose with a problem) give their CC to an unsecure porn web site and expose themselves to all kinds of risks(like stolen identity, fraud etc.) . What she has to think of right now before she makes a decision about her future with him and movinf forward and marring him is the backgrownd in how she met this guy, how their relationship started and what sustained their long distance connection. Was it mainly ciber sex sprinkled with sweet words and promisses of hot times together or was it more that? Were there mainly serious discussions about their relationship and their future or the sex part was dominant between them?

He might have a problem or he might not. The key is to talk to him and be as calm and gentle as possible, relaxed and if you can, as layed back as possible. If you want the truth, you have to be willing to hear the truth, so act like wise. Also, explain to him what bothers you and how you want the relationship between you to move along, so he knows better what you want and what you are about. Please it is very important you keep an open mind and give him the benefit of the doubt, without overlooking the big picture, your instinct. It is so important your instinct. Listen to it. As far as the email goes, i wouldn't put too much on it. A lot of people say they miss eachother but very few actualy mean it, so don't worry unless you see very often emails from that address.

This is my 2 cents. My personal imput, so pls don't gudge me too hard if i sounded untrusting or doubtfull too.

[~Laura and Nick~ 5]

All I can keep thinking about is why are you here on a message board talking to strangers when you should be at home talking with the man you are about to marry.

Open communication is key in a real lasting relationship. If you can't be honest and ask the tough questions, you will have so many problems down the road.

TALK TO HIM. Tell him what you found (even if he gets mad) and how upset you are. If you love one another as much as you think you do, hopefully you'll be able to work this out. We aren't in your shoes, every relationship is different. Talk with him, discuss your fears and feelings and then decide what is best for you and him. It sounds like there is a massive lack of trust and perhaps what you found gives that substance. This needs to be resolved if your relationship is to survive.

Best of luck.

[Lovetoteach 53]

In my own personal opinion I would find it cheating. My ex USC did all that and more that's why in addition to his abuse we are no longer together

[Chica Yeyé 41]

I agree with Laura. It is not us you need to talk to, it's your fiancee. We might all have opinions, but yours and his are the only ones that really count. Best of luck to you both

[girl 37 7]

I agree with Laura. It is not us you need to talk to, it's your fiancee. We might all have opinions, but yours and his are the only ones that really count. Best of luck to you both

I don't think there's anything wrong with asking for opinions, especially since she's new to North American culture.

[bevs 0]

all i can say is your doubts is never been a doubt. its reality. way back 2004 i also been to that kind of sitaution. i found at everything when i reach his home, his place and his life. i cannot leave that way pretend that we are both fine, but the true he was already fooling me from the start. u know what i left him and choosing those decision in my life is the most RIGHT DECISION i made in my life, right now i am much happier than before with my two boys im life, my hubby and our son. i never regret it, cuz a cheater will be always a cheater. i hope GOD will guide u and protect u always.

[luckytxn 2,265]

Oh oh. I could be in trouble myself.

[Sprailenes 47]

You just need to talk to him, let him know you found all this stuff out. You have nothing to be ashamed of or embarrassed for, you're not the one who has to do the explaining. Let him know what you found, let him know how you feel, and hopefully you two can work it out, or maybe it would be for the better if you parted ways. I don't know.

If you guys work it out, you have to be able to rebuild your trust and not hang this over his head for the rest of his life because that's not a marriage either. If you guys work it out, you need to work it out the right way.

Edited September 9, 2008 by Sprailenes

[2manypapers 0]

I hope that you sit down and have a serious heart to heart discussion with your Fiance very soon.

I discovered that my husband had been doing the same, before we married. He said at the time that it was all in fun and that I was upset over nothing.

I thought we had resolved it and because we were apart so long, before he arrived, I tried not to make too much of it, even though it had hurt me.

After he arrived and we married, this situation came up again, only this time, not only was my husband on porn sites viewing, but he was also on singles sites and had multiple affairs.

I am not indicating that your situation may be like mine, but my advice is not to marry, unless and until you are very comfortable with his activties that he is not sharing with you.

My husband still declares he loves me to this day, but my idea of faithfulness and his are very different and the reason why we are divorcing.

2manypapers

[ForeverAmen 0]

IMO on-line porn is by no means being faithful to your spouse. I believe that 'if you walk in slippery places, you might fall'. Fall for/on what?!?!? Who knows. But to me this is a potential gateway to other problems.

To each it's own. Therefore, you do what you believe is the best thing for you.

Boaz

[bhajishah 4]

mailorder bride?? modern day slavery and legal prostitution. both of you are guilty!! reality comes back to bitt in the azz

[Sprailenes 47]

mailorder bride?? modern day slavery and legal prostitution. both of you are guilty!! reality comes back to bitt in the azz

When you point a finger at someone else, three are pointing back at you.

Put down the gavel.

[wifetobe 2]

He broke the trust and without trust there is nothing. Get rid of. He will sneak again. You deserve better girl. I wish you a speedy mendable heart

[DanielParul 50]

I personally would consider that cheating, so would my husband. But you need to sit him down and have a serious talk about it and how its affected you and see what he feels about it. If you are not special enough for him to stop him from wanting to do it then its time to have a serious thought about marriage with this guy