a pets view

[ronjie 0]

Excerpts from a Dog's Diary......

8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!

9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!

9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!

10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!

12:00 pm - Lunch! My favorite thing!

1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!

3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!

5:00 pm - Milk Bones! My favorite thing!

7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!

8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!

11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!

Excerpts from a Cat's Daily Diary. .

Day 983 of my captivity...

My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.

They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are

fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for

the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in

order to keep up my strength.

The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an

attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.

Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their

feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it

clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made

condescending comments about what a 'good little hunter' I am.

Bastards.

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was

placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event.

However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard

that my confinement was due to the power of 'allergies.' I must learn

what this means and how to use it to my advantage.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my

tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try

this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and

snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly

released - and seems to be more than willing to return. He is

obviously retarded.

The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicating with

the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My

captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell,

so he is safe. For now................

[chri'stina 190]

pretty funny

[Mina76 0]

That's so hilarious!!!

[IAMX 3,055]

Niiiiice.