Marriage, AOS and Confused

[mabron200 0]

What do I do in this kinda situation...I have been here for like a year now, married to an American woman, we were initially leaving with her parents but I didn't like the way her parents were treating me, I felt like I wasn't welcome into the family, more like they will tell me how to wear my pants, what to watch on TV and stuff like that, I said to myself maybe my wife and I should go ahead and move out of her parents house hopefully things will get better for us but unfortunately it got worse... When I met my wife back in 2003 she didn't tell me what was really going on with her as in health wise until I gat here then I found out that she has been suffering from a severe mental disorder"schizophrenia" for the past 7years and I am like why you didn't tell me all these before we gat married, she said because she didnt want to loose me, I thought it and I see that she really needs help so I decided to stay with her to help her through.. But honestly I felt like I was tricked into marrying her. I have never in my life heard nothing like that before, so I wouldnt know what its like

To cut a long story shorts, when I started working my wife will call me on my job asking me what am I doing who was I talking to and stuffs like that, I will say,I am at work what am I suppose to be doing at work if not working but wife don't believe me is not like she has caught me cheating on her before of something like that; please note I work 12hrs 8pm-8am. When I get back from work I will need some sleep because I have to work the following night but my wife won't let me sleep instead she will turn the music so high that I can't sleep,I will ask her to turn it low so i could get some sleep, she will always tell me 'I DONT CARE' she's not working because she is on SSI and I even told her don't work all I want you to do is take your medicine everyday and I have to beg her to take her medicines at most times because if she doesnt take it she will go crazy and she becomes violent, and I do my own cooking I cook everything that I put in my mouth, I thought when you are married your wife suppose to do the cooking especially when you work overnight,, there are times she hit on me when she got mad about something and threatnen to hit me few days ago I had to call the police on her.. Like I can't go to sleep without worrying of being hurt in the middle of the nights, I always sleep with my car keys and my cell phone under my pillow all day everyday.. I am just so scared, 2days ago I called her from my job to see how she was doing and told me I know you are not at work and that I went to sleep with another woman I am like ,omfg I called you, you didnt call me if I were to be cheating on you I wouldnt call you and before I gat back from work she went into my room throw up my clothes tears my pictures and stuff like..this is the 3rd time she is doing this

I really do want to help be there for this woman but she's not helping me her mental disorder is really affecting my life I cant even think straight, I don't have anybody to talk to, like I cant talk to my wife share ideas talk and plan for the future so many things I want us to do but I cant because of her disorder.. Is not like I knew all of these before we married, I am so devasted right now I dont know what to do.. And I already filed for my AOS but waiting on the interview letter, the way I see things happening right now, she might end up in a mental institution before my interview and if she goes back to the mental institution they make keep her for years becuase they warned her that if she doesnt take her medicines and end up there again they will have to take her away from the society because she might hurt somebody or even herself, definately I cant go to the interview alone and for sure marriage was entered in good faith......

Please don't just read this, advice me on what to do ....God bless you all!!

Mabron

Edited September 5, 2008 by mabron200

[payxibka 10,047]

who knows if you will even be interviewed....

[mabron200 0]

who knows if you will even be interviewed....

I think I will because I came in on a K3 visa and case was initially sent to CSC but was sent back to NBC so I am thinking the NBC will will schedule an interview for me at my local office and I filed AOS on feb-02-08

[richo 0]

Might not be that bad? YOuknow your case is legit so just prepare the necessary paperworks now so by the time the interview letter comes at least you're ready. blessings

[Otto 83]

[mabron200 0]

Might not be that bad? YOuknow your case is legit so just prepare the necessary paperworks now so by the time the interview letter comes at least you're ready. blessings

And go to the interview alone ???? Can I do that ??

[richo 0]

Might not be that bad? YOuknow your case is legit so just prepare the necessary paperworks now so by the time the interview letter comes at least you're ready. blessings

And go to the interview alone ???? Can I do that ??

Oh sorry I didnt read everything..was just commenting on the interview dillema...Your wife needs to be with you...sorry about your situation..

[richo 0]

Oh sorry I didnt read everything..was just commenting on the interview dillema...Your wife needs to be with you...sorry about your situation..this is a special case...I still think you can go to your interview...but bring proofs that your wife is (if shes at mental institution) or something like proving that she's not mentally capable to appear in person for this interview.. I think you can ask a lawyer about this..I think there's like a written stuff approve by the court of something that if one is not mentally capable..not sure.. but I think if you can proove of her mental disorder you can go to the interview without her...just my opinion..

[mabron200 0]

Oh sorry I didnt read everything..was just commenting on the interview dillema...Your wife needs to be with you...sorry about your situation..this is a special case...I still think you can go to your interview...but bring proofs that your wife is (if shes at mental institution) or something like proving that she's not mentally capable to appear in person for this interview.. I think you can ask a lawyer about this..I think there's like a written stuff approve by the court of something that if one is not mentally capable..not sure.. but I think if you can proove of her mental disorder you can go to the interview without her...just my opinion..

I really hope its possible but I will check with a lawyer first

[richo 0]

Oh sorry I didnt read everything..was just commenting on the interview dillema...Your wife needs to be with you...sorry about your situation..this is a special case...I still think you can go to your interview...but bring proofs that your wife is (if shes at mental institution) or something like proving that she's not mentally capable to appear in person for this interview.. I think you can ask a lawyer about this..I think there's like a written stuff approve by the court of something that if one is not mentally capable..not sure.. but I think if you can proove of her mental disorder you can go to the interview without her...just my opinion..

I really hope its possible but I will check with a lawyer first

I wish you luck..you didn't know that she had this...and this is not her fault too...I hope everything will work out for you..not just the paperwork...but the marriage as well...good luck and blessings

[morocco4ever 63]

It seems odd that you have had a relationship long enough to get married, but had no idea that something wasn't right with her mentally.

I don't know much about the interview, so I don't have any advice in that arena. But the fact is that she is your wife, and you really need to be there for her. Have you been with her to see a doctor? A doctor can best guide you what you need to keep her disorder from ruining your marriage. Afterall, no one should get married and give up on it before they have exhausted all avenues to save it.

Good luck.

[HannahP 119]

It seems odd that you have had a relationship long enough to get married, but had no idea that something wasn't right with her mentally.

Maybe she was reliably taking her meds? Believe it or not, even someone who is schizophrenic can "pass for normal" on the right meds. (The frustrating thing being that, schizophrenics in particular, are notoriously unreliable in taking their meds.)

It's actually very difficult to get someone committed. And nobody is committed for years anymore -- our current mental health system simply isn't built like that.

And if you do get interviewed, I don't know if I'd want my paranoid schizophrenic wife by my side, especially since she thinks you're cheating on her.