~Say Anything Thread~

[muñequita linda 0]

SPEAKING ABOUT LAST REQUESTS ........

The Lone Ranger is captured by Indians...

The Indian Chief proclaims, "So, you are the great Lone Ranger. In honor of the Harvest Festival, you will be executed in three days. But, before I kill you, I will grant you three requests.

What is your first request?"

The Lone Ranger responds, "I'd like to speak to my horse."

The Chief nods and Silver is brought before the Lone Ranger, who whispers in Silver's ear, and the horse gallops away. Later that evening, Silver returns with a beautiful blonde woman on his back.

As the Indian Chief watches, the blonde enters the Lone Ranger's tent and spends the night.

The next morning the Indian Chief admits he's impressed.

"You have a very fine and loyal horse, but I will still kill you in two days. What is your second request?"

The Lone Ranger again asks to speak to his horse. Silver is brought to him, and once again he whispers in the horse's ear. As before, Silver takes off across the plains and disappears over the horizon.

Later that evening, to the Chief's surprise, Silver again returns, this time with a brunette, even more attractive than the blonde. She enters the Lone Ranger's tent and also spends the night.

The following morning the Indian Chief is again impressed. He tells the Lone Ranger, "You are indeed a man of many talents, but I still kill you tomorrow. "So what is your last request?"

The Lone Ranger responds,

"I'd like to speak to my horse.... alone."

The Chief is curious, but he agrees and Silver is brought to the Lone Ranger's tent.

Once they're alone, the Lone Ranger grabs Silver by both ears, looks him square in the eye and says:

"Listen very carefully you dumb a$$ horse.

For the last time . . . BRING POSSEEEE".

[DARUMA07 25]

..... That would be my luck!!!

[sunandmoon 450]

a letter from a husband to his wife about their sex life and her reply....

To My Dearest Wife,

During the past year, I have attempted to make love to you 365 times. I have succeeded 36 times, which is an average of only once every 10 days. The following is a list of why I didn't succeed more often:

We will wake the kids - 54 times

It's too late - 15 times

I'm too tired - 42 times

It's too early - 12 times

It's too hot - 18 times

Pretending to be asleep - 31 times

The neighbors will hear - 9 times

Headache or backache - 26 times

Sunburn - 10 times

Your mother will hear us - 9 times

Not in the mood - 21 times

Watching the late show - 17 times

Too sore - 26 times

New hairdo - 6 times

Wrong time of the month - 14 times

You had to go to the bathroom - 19 times

Of the 36 times that I DID succeed, the result was not always satisfying because 6 times you just laid there, 8 times you reminded me that there was a crack in the ceiling, 4 times you told me to hurry up and get it over with, 7 times I had to wake you up to tell you I was finished, and once I was afraid that I had hurt you because you started thrashing around and breathing heavy. Let's try to improve this, shall we??

Love, Your Hubby

To My Dearest Husband,

I think things are a little confused. Here are the REAL reasons you didn't get more than you did this past year:

Came home drunk and tried to screw the cat - 23 times

Did not come home at all - 36 times

Did not come - 21 times

Came too soon - 38 times

Went soft before you got it in - 19 times

Cramps in your leg - 16 times

Working too late - 33 times

You had a rash, probably from a toilet seat - 29 times

Caught yourself in your zipper - 15 times

You had a cold and your nose kept running - 21 times

You had burned your tongue on hot coffee - 9 times

You had a splinter in your finger - 11 times

You lost the notion after thinking about it - 42 times

Came in your pajamas after reading a dirty book - 16 times

The reason I laid still was because you had missed me and were screwing the sheet. You seemed to be having a good time and I didn't want to move and spoil it for you. I wasn't talking about the crack in the ceiling. What I said was, "Would you like me on my back or kneeling?" The time I was thrashing around and gasping was when you farted and I was fighting for air. Maybe you can work on your "shortcomings?"

Love, Your Wife

[I AM NOT THAT GUY 5,715]

Evidently, frequent, or even actual sex, with the wife, is not required.

[-B&T- 1]

Hi guys,

Just wanna share this nice video.Enjoy!

[maritoni 3]

Hi guys,

Just wanna share this nice video.Enjoy!

thank you for sharing sis...

[-B&T- 1]

thank you for sharing sis...

Hi sis MJ your very welcome kumusta?Me as usual busy sa makulit na bulilit lol..

Ingat ka diyan palagi ok.

[maritoni 3]

thank you for sharing sis...

Hi sis MJ your very welcome kumusta?Me as usual busy sa makulit na bulilit lol..

Ingat ka diyan palagi ok.

hehe buti nga may makulit na bulilit ka eh:)ang cute cute siguro nyan ano sis?Ingat din palagi sis:)

[o0pink0o 3]

Hi guys,

Just wanna share this nice video.Enjoy!

nice vid!

[G&R 0]

a letter from a husband to his wife about their sex life and her reply....

To My Dearest Wife,

During the past year, I have attempted to make love to you 365 times. I have succeeded 36 times, which is an average of only once every 10 days. The following is a list of why I didn't succeed more often:

We will wake the kids - 54 times

It's too late - 15 times

I'm too tired - 42 times

It's too early - 12 times

It's too hot - 18 times

Pretending to be asleep - 31 times

The neighbors will hear - 9 times

Headache or backache - 26 times

Sunburn - 10 times

Your mother will hear us - 9 times

Not in the mood - 21 times

Watching the late show - 17 times

Too sore - 26 times

New hairdo - 6 times

Wrong time of the month - 14 times

You had to go to the bathroom - 19 times

Of the 36 times that I DID succeed, the result was not always satisfying because 6 times you just laid there, 8 times you reminded me that there was a crack in the ceiling, 4 times you told me to hurry up and get it over with, 7 times I had to wake you up to tell you I was finished, and once I was afraid that I had hurt you because you started thrashing around and breathing heavy. Let's try to improve this, shall we??

Love, Your Hubby

To My Dearest Husband,

I think things are a little confused. Here are the REAL reasons you didn't get more than you did this past year:

Came home drunk and tried to screw the cat - 23 times

Did not come home at all - 36 times

Did not come - 21 times

Came too soon - 38 times

Went soft before you got it in - 19 times

Cramps in your leg - 16 times

Working too late - 33 times

You had a rash, probably from a toilet seat - 29 times

Caught yourself in your zipper - 15 times

You had a cold and your nose kept running - 21 times

You had burned your tongue on hot coffee - 9 times

You had a splinter in your finger - 11 times

You lost the notion after thinking about it - 42 times

Came in your pajamas after reading a dirty book - 16 times

The reason I laid still was because you had missed me and were screwing the sheet. You seemed to be having a good time and I didn't want to move and spoil it for you. I wasn't talking about the crack in the ceiling. What I said was, "Would you like me on my back or kneeling?" The time I was thrashing around and gasping was when you farted and I was fighting for air. Maybe you can work on your "shortcomings?"

Love, Your Wife

thanx very funny.

[sunandmoon 450]

I've noticed some comments made when a non Philippine member started a thread in the forum. perhaps this needs to happen when someone not flying the flag starts a thread in the Philippine forum...

just kidding...

[DARUMA07 25]

I've noticed some comments made when a non Philippine member started a thread in the forum. perhaps this needs to happen when someone not flying the flag starts a thread in the Philippine forum...

just kidding...

That looks like the kind of day I had... ....

[Tito Jorge 0]

Edited August 4, 2009 by Tito Jorge

[I AM NOT THAT GUY 5,715]

I've noticed some comments made when a non Philippine member started a thread in the forum. perhaps this needs to happen when someone not flying the flag starts a thread in the Philippine forum...

just kidding...

[maritoni 3]

I've noticed some comments made when a non Philippine member started a thread in the forum. perhaps this needs to happen when someone not flying the flag starts a thread in the Philippine forum...

just kidding...