~Say Anything Thread~

[DARUMA07 25]

Too cute!

#######.....

[Rocky_nBullwinkle 6]

I guess there are a million of these things:

Edited February 17, 2009 by Rocky_nBullwinkle

[DARUMA07 25]

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...... I think something is awfully wrong with us guys....

[DARUMA07 25]

I guess there are a million of these things:

.... Just like I said above to Roy. I think there is something awfully wrong with us guys....

[sunandmoon 450]

A man was in a long line at Target. As he got to the register he realized he had forgotten to get condoms, so he asked the checkout girl if she could have some brought up to the register.She asked, "What size condoms?" The customer replied that he didn't know. She asked him to drop his pants. He did.

She reached over the counter, grabbed hold of him and called over the intercom, "One box of large condoms, Register 5."

The next man in line thought this was interesting, and Like most of us, was up for a cheap thrill. When he got up to the register, he told the checker that he too had forgotten to get condoms, and asked if she could have some brought to the register for him.She asked him what size, and he stated that he didn't know. She asked him to drop his pants. He did. She gave him a quick feel, picked up the intercom and said, "One box of medium-sized condoms, Register 5."

A few customers back was this teenage boy. He thought what he had seen was way too cool. He had never had any type of sexual contact with a live female, so he thought this was his chance.

When he got to the register he told the checker he needed some condoms.She asked him what size and he said he didn't know. She asked him to drop his pants and he did. She reached over the counter, gave him a quick squeeze, then picked up the intercom and said...

"Cleanup, Register 5"

[DARUMA07 25]

A man was in a long line at Target. As he got to the register he realized he had forgotten to get condoms, so he asked the checkout girl if she could have some brought up to the register.She asked, "What size condoms?" The customer replied that he didn't know. She asked him to drop his pants. He did.

She reached over the counter, grabbed hold of him and called over the intercom, "One box of large condoms, Register 5."

The next man in line thought this was interesting, and Like most of us, was up for a cheap thrill. When he got up to the register, he told the checker that he too had forgotten to get condoms, and asked if she could have some brought to the register for him.She asked him what size, and he stated that he didn't know. She asked him to drop his pants. He did. She gave him a quick feel, picked up the intercom and said, "One box of medium-sized condoms, Register 5."

A few customers back was this teenage boy. He thought what he had seen was way too cool. He had never had any type of sexual contact with a live female, so he thought this was his chance.

When he got to the register he told the checker he needed some condoms.She asked him what size and he said he didn't know. She asked him to drop his pants and he did. She reached over the counter, gave him a quick squeeze, then picked up the intercom and said...

"Cleanup, Register 5"

Good one Roy!....

[I AM NOT THAT GUY 5,715]

http://www.visajourney.com/forums/index.php?showtopic=179445

Latest from Quentin Terantino. Over the top, you think?

Edited February 17, 2009 by Mister_Bill

[sunandmoon 450]

http://www.visajourney.com/forums/index.php?showtopic=179445

Latest from Quentin Terantino. Over the top, you think?

on blood and guts it might score high, but doubt it will be nearly as good as these two WWII movies ...

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[I AM NOT THAT GUY 5,715]

For a T.V. series, this was the best:

[sunandmoon 450]

For a T.V. series, this was the best:

CBS shouldn't have moved it to Sat night it's third season.

[sunandmoon 450]

A man was sitting on a blanket at the beach. He had no arms and no legs.

Three women were walking past and felt sorry for the poor man.

The first woman said "Have you ever had a hug?"

The man said "No," so she gave him a hug and walked on.

The second woman said "Have you ever had a kiss?"

The man said "No," so she gave him a kiss and walked on.

The third woman came to him and said "Have you ever been f#cked?"

The fellow feeling excited said, "No...never!".

She said, "You will be when the tide comes in"

[I AM NOT THAT GUY 5,715]

[DARUMA07 25]

A man was sitting on a blanket at the beach. He had no arms and no legs.

Three women were walking past and felt sorry for the poor man.

The first woman said "Have you ever had a hug?"

The man said "No," so she gave him a hug and walked on.

The second woman said "Have you ever had a kiss?"

The man said "No," so she gave him a kiss and walked on.

The third woman came to him and said "Have you ever been f#cked?"

The fellow feeling excited said, "No...never!".

She said, "You will be when the tide comes in"

....

[sunandmoon 450]

The Secret to a Long Marriage...

>

>

> A couple was celebrating their golden wedding

> anniversary. Their domestic tranquility had long

> been the talk of the town. "What a peaceful and

> loving couple." A local newspaper reporter was

> inquiring as to the secret of their long and happy

> marriage.

>

> Well, it dates back to our honeymoon," explained the

> man. We visited the Grand Canyon and took a trip

> down to the bottom of the canyon on a pack mule.

>

> We hadn't gone too far when my wife's mule stumbled.

> My wife quietly said, "That's once."

>

> We proceeded a little further and the mule stumbled

> again. Once more my wife quietly said, "That's

> twice."

>

> We hadn't gone a half-mile when the mule stumbled

> the third time. My wife quietly removed a revolver

> from her purse and shot the mule dead.

>

> I started an angry protest over her treatment of the

> mule, when she looked at me, and quietly said,

> "That's once."

>

> And we lived happily ever after.

Two married buddies are out drinking one night when one turns to the other and says, "You know, I don't know what else to do. Whenever I go home after we've been out drinking, I turn the headlights off before I get to the driveway. I shut off the engine and coast into the garage. I take my shoes off before I go into the house, I sneak up the stairs, I get undressed in the bathroom. I ease into bed and my wife STILL wakes up and yells at me for staying out so late!"

His buddy looks at him and says, "Well, you're obviously taking the wrong approach. I screech into the driveway, slam the door, storm up the steps, throw my shoes into the closet, jump into bed, rub my hands on my wife's as# and say, 'How about a bl#wjob?' ... and she's always sound asleep."

Pregnancy, Estrogen, and Women

PREGNANCY Q&A & MORE!

Q: Should I have a baby after 35?

A: No, 35 children is enough

Q: I'm two months pregnant now. When will the baby move?

A: With any luck, right after he finishes college.

Q: What is the most reliable method to determine a baby's sex?

A: Childbirth

Q: My wife is five months pregnant and so moody that sometimes she's borderline irrational.

A: So what's your question?

Q: My childbirth instructor says it's not pain I'll feel during labor, but pressure. Is she right?

A: Yes, in the same way that a tornado might be called an air current.

Q: When is the best time to get an epidural?

A: Right after you find out you're pregnant.

Q: Is there any reason I have to be in the delivery room while my wife is in labor?

A: Not unless the word "alimony" means anything to you.

Q: Is there anything I should avoid while recovering from childbirth?

A: Yes, pregnancy.

Q: Do I have to have a baby shower?

A: Not if you change the baby's diaper very quickly.

Q: Our baby was born last week. When will my wife begin to feel and act normal again?

A: When the kids are in college.

[sunandmoon 450]

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