Pregnancy questions and answers(still bored)

[munchkins 0]

Q. Should I have a baby after 35?

A. No, 35 children is enough.

Q. When will my baby move?

A. With any luck, right after he finishes high school.

Q. How will I know if my vomiting is morning sickness or the flu?

A. If it's the flu, you'll get better.

Q. Since I became pregnant, my breasts, rear-end, and even my feet have grown. Is there anything that gets smaller during pregnancy?

A. Yes, your bladder.

Q. What is the most common pregnancy craving?

A. For men to be the ones who get pregnant.

Q. What is the most reliable method to determine a baby's sex?

A. Childbirth.

Q. The more pregnant I get, the more often strangers smile at me. Why?

A. 'Cause you're fatter than they are.

Q. My wife is five months pregnant and so moody that sometimes she's borderline irrational.

A. So what's your question?

Q. What's the difference between a nine-month pregnant woman and a model?

A. Nothing, if the pregnant woman's husband knows what's good for him.

Q. How long is the average woman in labor?

A. Whatever she says, divided by two.

Q. My childbirth instructor says it's not pain I'll feel during labor, but pressure. Is she right?

A. Yes, in the same way that a tornado might be called an air current.

Q. When is the best time to get an epidural?

A. Right after you find out you're pregnant.

Q. Is there any reason I have to be in the delivery room while my wife is in labor?

A. Not unless the word "alimony" means anything to you.

Q. What does it mean when the baby's head is crowning?

A. It means you feel as though not only a crown but the entire throne is trying to make its way out of you.

Q. Is there anything I should avoid while recovering from childbirth?

A. Yes, SEX

Edited May 23, 2006 by munchkins

[aussiewench 9]

hahahahaha

[almaty 19]

[Dixie_Peach 1]

[Ban Hammer 13,619]

[Fandango 1,440]

Q. What's the difference between a nine-month pregnant woman and a model?

A. Nothing, if the pregnant woman's husband knows what's good for him.

omG Val they all were hilarious, but this one is the best! hahahahhah

[Indo_mommy 0]

Q. Since I became pregnant, my breasts, rear-end, and even my feet have grown. Is there anything that gets smaller during pregnancy?

A. Yes, your bladder.

Q. My wife is five months pregnant and so moody that sometimes she's borderline irrational.

A. So what's your question?

Q. What's the difference between a nine-month pregnant woman and a model?

A. Nothing, if the pregnant woman's husband knows what's good for him.

Entertaining. My fave are those 3.

[Ban Hammer 13,619]

Q. Should I have a baby after 35?

A. No, 35 children is enough.

i think i'm supporting that one with my tax dollars right now.

[alexil74 0]

[rejane 1]

I sent it to hubby and he had a good laugh....

So i had