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Filed: IR-1/CR-1 Visa Country: Egypt
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Hey I just had a baby at 39 and its been a great experience. Yes, I had some extra tests and the extra worries that accompanied that but the Princess came out just fine and honestly I find I am really enjoying motherhood at this age as I am just so much more mellow and mature :) If everyone in life waited for things to be perfect before they had a baby I dont think anyone ever would do it....

Wahrania, your posts have been very moving. You are more raw and honest than a lot of people around here and although sometimes it rubs other the wrong way I have to salute you for putting it all out there. I have been very moved by your story and I'm really rooting for you and for things to work out well for you, whatever that may mean.

as for the other things, I just wanted to throw out there that we should all remember there are no guarantees in life. Relationships and marriage are complicated messy emotional beasts under any and all circumstances and when you throw in immigration/green cards it just muddies the water still. Like some others, I personally think that if everything was the same between my husband and I but I was Moroccan he probably would not have married me. I had something to offer/bring to the table by being American and at the time I dont think I realized or comprehended the import of that. We've had plenty of our share of troubles and rocky points, but as I sit here right now this morning with my husband napping curled around our baby in the next room there is no doubt in my mind that he loves me and loves her and loves his stepson and considers all of us his family. He's a good man and getting better, as I am trying to as well. Its always a work in progress :)

im in ante partum right now waiting for a misto insertion, I am only 1 cm dilated. My husband and my little brother are out eating and left me here. <My parents are about 200 miles away and too old to help anyway so my husband and my 37 yr old geek squad brother are out eating chinese.Im sitting here with my laptop ( yeah free wifi) remembering this crazy year... love u guys

Why didnt u tell him u need him next to u -since he can figure that out on his own :angry: -? well im here with u Hanging in there and i swear i wish i was literally there it wd my pleasure to help u! (F)

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Filed: AOS (apr) Country: Philippines
Timeline
Posted
Apparently people stole pictures off of computers at cyber cafe's when users left theyre browsers open or do not delete theyre browser history after signing out. They than used the stolen pictures and created a porno site (it can happen with myspace too) and use the prifiles to entice members. The pictures of my husband were (as I suspected) very old because he has had a computer at home for several years now. They rarely use a cyber anymore.

my little ramadan lesson :yes:

:dance:

happy to hear that :dance:

09/28/08-green card received

1-751

07/02/10-mailed it 2day

07/06/10-they received my application forms

07/13/10-received notice receipt(gc extended for one year)

07/28/10-received biometric appointment

09/23/10 GC approved!!!

9/26/20 Gota pproval notice

10/01/10 GC receivedd

event.png

I never knew how much love my heart could hold until my son called me "MOMMY."

Filed: Timeline
Posted
Hey I just had a baby at 39 and its been a great experience. Yes, I had some extra tests and the extra worries that accompanied that but the Princess came out just fine and honestly I find I am really enjoying motherhood at this age as I am just so much more mellow and mature :) If everyone in life waited for things to be perfect before they had a baby I dont think anyone ever would do it....

Wahrania, your posts have been very moving. You are more raw and honest than a lot of people around here and although sometimes it rubs other the wrong way I have to salute you for putting it all out there. I have been very moved by your story and I'm really rooting for you and for things to work out well for you, whatever that may mean.

as for the other things, I just wanted to throw out there that we should all remember there are no guarantees in life. Relationships and marriage are complicated messy emotional beasts under any and all circumstances and when you throw in immigration/green cards it just muddies the water still. Like some others, I personally think that if everything was the same between my husband and I but I was Moroccan he probably would not have married me. I had something to offer/bring to the table by being American and at the time I dont think I realized or comprehended the import of that. We've had plenty of our share of troubles and rocky points, but as I sit here right now this morning with my husband napping curled around our baby in the next room there is no doubt in my mind that he loves me and loves her and loves his stepson and considers all of us his family. He's a good man and getting better, as I am trying to as well. Its always a work in progress :)

im in ante partum right now waiting for a misto insertion, I am only 1 cm dilated. My husband and my little brother are out eating and left me here. <My parents are about 200 miles away and too old to help anyway so my husband and my 37 yr old geek squad brother are out eating chinese.Im sitting here with my laptop ( yeah free wifi) remembering this crazy year... love u guys

Why didnt u tell him u need him next to u -since he can figure that out on his own :angry: -? well im here with u Hanging in there and i swear i wish i was literally there it wd my pleasure to help u! (F)

Thanks.. he is out with my little brother about 3 miles from the hospital and they are relaxing. I am just sitting here with my brothers laptop enjoying the free wi fi and chilling out. They have not administered the softening agent yet ( they will soon) and then after that they wont check me for about 6 hours. If its still not opening, tthey will administer another dose and start the pit. My husband is already strung out from fasting and I think Ill just let him enjoy running around with my brother.. at least I can rest a little

Filed: IR-1/CR-1 Visa Country: Egypt
Timeline
Posted
Hey I just had a baby at 39 and its been a great experience. Yes, I had some extra tests and the extra worries that accompanied that but the Princess came out just fine and honestly I find I am really enjoying motherhood at this age as I am just so much more mellow and mature :) If everyone in life waited for things to be perfect before they had a baby I dont think anyone ever would do it....

Wahrania, your posts have been very moving. You are more raw and honest than a lot of people around here and although sometimes it rubs other the wrong way I have to salute you for putting it all out there. I have been very moved by your story and I'm really rooting for you and for things to work out well for you, whatever that may mean.

as for the other things, I just wanted to throw out there that we should all remember there are no guarantees in life. Relationships and marriage are complicated messy emotional beasts under any and all circumstances and when you throw in immigration/green cards it just muddies the water still. Like some others, I personally think that if everything was the same between my husband and I but I was Moroccan he probably would not have married me. I had something to offer/bring to the table by being American and at the time I dont think I realized or comprehended the import of that. We've had plenty of our share of troubles and rocky points, but as I sit here right now this morning with my husband napping curled around our baby in the next room there is no doubt in my mind that he loves me and loves her and loves his stepson and considers all of us his family. He's a good man and getting better, as I am trying to as well. Its always a work in progress :)

im in ante partum right now waiting for a misto insertion, I am only 1 cm dilated. My husband and my little brother are out eating and left me here. <My parents are about 200 miles away and too old to help anyway so my husband and my 37 yr old geek squad brother are out eating chinese.Im sitting here with my laptop ( yeah free wifi) remembering this crazy year... love u guys

Why didnt u tell him u need him next to u -since he can figure that out on his own :angry: -? well im here with u Hanging in there and i swear i wish i was literally there it wd my pleasure to help u! (F)

Thanks.. he is out with my little brother about 3 miles from the hospital and they are relaxing. I am just sitting here with my brothers laptop enjoying the free wi fi and chilling out. They have not administered the softening agent yet ( they will soon) and then after that they wont check me for about 6 hours. If its still not opening, tthey will administer another dose and start the pit. My husband is already strung out from fasting and I think Ill just let him enjoy running around with my brother.. at least I can rest a little

Good Luck Hanging in There!! God willing, all will turn out wonderful. Congrats ahead of schedule!!! :dance:

Got married : 6-3-06

I-130 delivered : 6-12-06 - Appt in Cairo

I-130 Approved : 4-18-08 - USCIS approval!!

Visa Interview Date : 6-22-08

Case sent to WADC: 8-6-08 - FBI check

Email From Embassy 1-09 - Still in AP (7 months)

19 DHL scans - 2-19-09

1-26-09 - Out of AP, now final review

2-26-09 - Visa in hand!

3-11-09 - POE JFK - Got stuck there due to immigration taking too long. They didn't change his visa from CR1 to IR1, have to go to immigration here to fix it.

3-12-09 - Arrived in Portland!!

5-29-2010 - Zane was born ** Absolute best day of my life!

6-7-2010 - Ahmed went back to Egypt

8-23-11 - Filed for divorce

1-12-12 - Divorce final

Posted
Apparently people stole pictures off of computers at cyber cafe's when users left theyre browsers open or do not delete theyre browser history after signing out. They than used the stolen pictures and created a porno site (it can happen with myspace too) and use the prifiles to entice members. The pictures of my husband were (as I suspected) very old because he has had a computer at home for several years now. They rarely use a cyber anymore.

my little ramadan lesson :yes:

:dance:

happy to hear that :dance:

Thanks Luntian (F) Mee too....hopefully soon the site will be shut down or? I am sure alot of guys are real mad as well. I can't even imagine if i saw my pic on a site like that. I'd get a lawyer!

Filed: AOS (apr) Country: Jordan
Timeline
Posted
One way that a person can protect their private info when using a public computer is to perform simple maintenance on the computer before leaving it.

In Vista it is hidden and much more complicated to do and requires administrative rights, but in older versions of Windows (I'm not sure about XP) it is easy. Just right click on the browser icon, and select properties. From the window that comes up find the delete cookies and delete temporary files icons and choose them one at a time. For the delete files be sure to select the checkbox that deletes any offline content too. I also clear the history on that screen.

If you've used a messenger service it is also a good idea to go to the program file for that service and delete your personal profile folder. I think on many of them it is a user folder, but I'm at work right now and can't access any messenger services to double check.

After all of those are done, empty the little trash can on the screen just to be double safe.

I would recommend checking a public computer to see if these things can be done before using it, so you have the ability to erase your personal information before you walk away.

It's a shame that people steal other people's pictures to use online, but it is true that it happens. Years ago on messenger I had two different people try to talk to me but refuse to use a webcam so I could see who I was talking to. Both of them sent me a picture of the same person (not porn, but attractive), saying it was them! Obviously at least one of them was lying, but I'm guessing both were.

I'm glad you were able to get past that in your relationship.

know what else I was thinking? It would be possible (if someone working at a cyber or owning one wanted to) they could install one of those spy programs on the cyber computers. Like the stuff "hanging in there" was mentioning on another thread. Called "spector pro" or a simular program. It is designed to duplicate every site or communication from a particular computers history! Ever if you try to delete allk the browser history. The spy program allows the person who installed and has the code to it, to see EVERYTHING that happened on the computer. That would be so easy to do!!!!! No one is safe in public I think.

Frankly, I think we try to convince ourselves because its easier to believe that our spouse is not doing stuff like this. Total strangers do not go way out of their way to break into someone s emails and create porn profiles. The reality is that alot guys sit in cyber cafes looking at women from all over the world bored in their houses doing god knows what or in paltalk sex rooms and they do it cause they are bored. I havent had the same sex discovery about my spouse but I have seen people on the boards find out their spouses were listed as bi curious and all this other stuff and for whatever reason, the American bought into what ever garbage lies he told her to get out of the situation. My husband chatted till he got here with tons of women and I could never catch him because I didnt know all the screen names. After he got here, he looked at sites I found totally inappropriate including all kinds of stuff that really hurt my feelings. I got the spector pro program so I could see line by line, page by page everything he looked at. My computers have broken twice ( 0ne he broke) the other one got a virus a few weeks ago and had to be sent back to the factory. I had a 2002 computer and I myself pulled too hard on the keyboard and the usb broke inside the port so I am back to writing from work again. I find when we dont have a computer working, hes eager to do things with me, get out, etc.When we have one , he sits on it all the time. I have a back up copy of spector pro which Iwill reinstall on the computer when it comes back and will continue to monitor whats going on. I havent seen any evidence of infidelity but I am sure with no shadow of a doubt that he was chatting up women from all over europe. Those job inquiries? They might very well be from him as well hedging his bets in Canada.

What drives me crazy is that when I have tried to talk about some of this stuff, the first reaction is to blame the petitioner. The reality is that SOME of these guys DO have evil intentions and DO do things that are duplicitous. Its important to show both sides of the coin so when one of us gets broadsided by internet infidelity, real life cheating, or green card scamming, we are able to deal with the reality of it. It is NOT in all of our heads. Some of us this is really happening to. I am in kind of a honey moon stage with my husband but not until after he shattered every bit of confidence I had left to include me wanting him even 10 feet near me when I give birth. I was correct in assuming he wasnt doing what he should be doing. I put up with stuff too long. For anyone to tell me its all my fault or imagination is #######. My husband may be doing the right thing now but he wasnt back home and he wasnt in the first months living here and I have a right to expect fidelity since I am faithful and true to him

If you see porn chat sites you also need to deal with the reality that he MAY be on these sites. These may have NOT been created by someone else. You need to have these conversations with him cause if you dont, you could end up with him over here doing this. None of what I am saying is an affront to someone elses relationship. I simply mean to say that NOT ALL situations work out and sometimes you will find hard evidence of all kinds of things. I think you should look for the best and be prepared for the worst and throw some love and understanding and forgiveness in ( with limits of course)

To ignore the likelihood that this may very well be your husband doing this leaves you vulnerable. I would really take a a hard look at things and make sure he understands that your house wont be the porn lovers cyber cafe.. that this stuff really is offensive and makes you feel unloved.

Im sorry Wah. but, also not everyone is bad. Not everyone is destined for a failed relationship. Not everyone is going to catch their husbands whoring around. Also, I havent seen anyone blaming the petitiner here either.

Im not saying it doesnt happen. Im not saying that people talk themselves into the lies being thrown at them. (not talking about the OP).

But, you know what? How on earth could one have a healthy,honest relationship with the constant fear that they are going to be used,cheated or anything else. On the flip side... knowing the person you love and is suppose to love you is waiting around for you to turn "bad" or make a mistake has got to be a hard thing to deal with. I know I couldnt deal with that pressure. I'd run away fast!!

This process and the distance plays dirty tricks on everyone. That doesnt mean there's evil running amuck. Trusting your insticts is crucial of course, but if your instict is: everyone is going to hurt and use me, well then thats not instict, thats your head.

Right, people can hurt you. People will use you. There are truly evil people in this world who will lie, cheat and steal to get what they want and have no problem using people for as long as they need them. But that is EVERYWHERE, and it's not a given. If someone has been used over and over again, I suggest the adjust their "picker"... they are the common denominator.

I just had to say all of that, I feel much better now. :)

To the OP, Im glad you are at peace with the situation.

Here is the problem Y. Or what I see as the problem. I don't think I entered into this relationship thinking any of this. I also think if I saw my husband day to day when he was there and watched his interactions with women and knew more than you can know meeting someone a couple of times and then marrying him, that I most likely would have 1. waited to petition and marry him until I knew him better or b. Not married him at all.

Ironically we are getting along pretty well right now but thats really been 100 percent him. He finally started applying for jobs. He finally started eating food and not criticising every single thing about the states. We went without internet at home for weeks on end ( and its still off) He started attending english school and trying to get to know things.

You have to be really careful ( not you but anyone) not to throw the blame on the petitioner based on your postitive experience. If someone on the boards is having frightening things happening to them that are very culturally based or rooted in personality, you need to let them talk about it. There are definite bonuses and risks involved with marrying a person from overseas based alone on the fact that immigration status is involved. Getting out of an impoverished situation will encourage an entire family to become complicit in aiding someone to dupe an american for just long enough to get here, establish themself and leave. Now why am I bringing this up? For as much as my husband " loves " me, I dont think the series of things he s done both back home and here reflect this "love" at all. We dont have a hard core looks or age disparity ( equal in attractiveness) There are religious commonalities as well as I get along with his family etc. But I think if I was from there , I would have never been a candidate for marriage with him. In his culture, virginity is prized, people dont typically marry women older than them and there is a laundry list of things that dont add up. Do I think that no one could fall in love that was outside of that parameter? Yes, I think love can exist and pop up everywhere. Do I think my husband loved me? No. I think the abuse he has dished out metered with the internet and everything else are a clear indication that he did not love me and was using me. Why do I feel the need to talk about it? Because I feel like its important to be able to talk about ALL the possible outcomes that we can have marrying both out of culture and our own ages and backgrounds. I would never want any one reading these boards to NOT realise if they were being mistreated, that they were the only ones going through this. You , Y habitk , are having an all in all positive experience. Lots of people do. I am finally seeing SOME LIGHT at the end of the tunnel as my baby will be here soon. He has put the baby bed together and is being a decent human being. But before I got this place, I have faced horrific verbal abuse, infidelity and my things broken. I am NOT taking responsibility for his rages and dissatisfaction for being here. He married me for papers and to make money. If hes started caring about me along the way, thats because he has made a conscious choice to be kinder to me. I was all sunshine and hopes when he deplaned 3 months ago. Its temper tantrums and chatting and breaking my things and refusing to work that got me to the point that I threw my hands up and walked away.

Its not that bad things are inevitable. Things can and will work themselves out. Hopefully they will in my case. But to somehow say I was looking for bad and somehow self created it by being negative is #######. I am the same person I was 3 months ago. Hes just decided to try to make things work and that making me cry was getting him no where.

The only person that can determine if these guys get along over here or not are the guys themselves. I am not at 9 months pregnant carrying any more of the responisibility of making his life for him. Hes got to want to make it here and got to want to fit in and be part of things...its important that all of us share whats happening with the others so we can help others not feel alone. Things are going much better but it wasnt without 3 full months of pure hell. He even has admitted to me that if he would have tried a little harder,hed be so much farther by now

CHEERS AND LOVE YOU ALL

Wah,

My whole point was that when one thing happens it doesnt mean disaster. Thats all. You are right that we are all guilty of superimposing our own experiences on others, thats my point. I have had some horrible experiences in my lifetime. I have learned what i can from them.

But I also know that during this "journey" its easy to completely nut up over things that would be easily solved if our SO's were with us.

I dont think anyone should hold themselves responsible for anothers bad behavior. Im just advising if it keeps happening, take a look at your choices. Im sure there are lots of women( and men) who can relate to the feeling: "i keep dating the same person over and over" Sometimes people choose toxic relationships without even being aware.

Or, they have been so badly burned they are incapable of trusting anyone. I have been there and done all that.

I'm not saying its their fault that the person is acting badly or has used them. My point is self wareness can be a gift.

I think Im babbling now.

Anyway, I understand your point wah. But sometimes people need to see the other possiblities, not only the negative.

Ok, after that I want to say I'll pray for an easy and safe delivery for you and the baby :). Im VERY happy to hear that your husband is starting to act right! He better keep it up ;)

Lisa

"you fondle my trigger then you blame my gun"

Timeline: 13 month long journey from filing to visa in hand

If you were lucky and got an approval and reunion with your loved one rather quickly; Please refrain from telling people who waited 6+ months just to get out of a service center to "chill out" or to "stop whining" It's insensitive,and unecessary. Once you walk a mile in their shoes you will understand and be heard.

Thanks!

Filed: AOS (apr) Country: Jordan
Timeline
Posted
Apparently people stole pictures off of computers at cyber cafe's when users left theyre browsers open or do not delete theyre browser history after signing out. They than used the stolen pictures and created a porno site (it can happen with myspace too) and use the prifiles to entice members. The pictures of my husband were (as I suspected) very old because he has had a computer at home for several years now. They rarely use a cyber anymore.

my little ramadan lesson :yes:

:dance:

happy to hear that :dance:

Thanks Luntian (F) Mee too....hopefully soon the site will be shut down or? I am sure alot of guys are real mad as well. I can't even imagine if i saw my pic on a site like that. I'd get a lawyer!

I just read a story yesterday about some scam:

Personal ad, they ask the responders to send pics and then they use them for porn sites to draw in business.

It happens all over i guess.

Im so glad you guys straightened it out.

"you fondle my trigger then you blame my gun"

Timeline: 13 month long journey from filing to visa in hand

If you were lucky and got an approval and reunion with your loved one rather quickly; Please refrain from telling people who waited 6+ months just to get out of a service center to "chill out" or to "stop whining" It's insensitive,and unecessary. Once you walk a mile in their shoes you will understand and be heard.

Thanks!

Filed: AOS (apr) Country: Jordan
Timeline
Posted
There are definite bonuses and risks involved with marrying a person from overseas based alone on the fact that immigration status is involved. Getting out of an impoverished situation will encourage an entire family to become complicit in aiding someone to dupe an american for just long enough to get here, establish themself and leave. Now why am I bringing this up? For as much as my husband " loves " me, I dont think the series of things he s done both back home and here reflect this "love" at all. We dont have a hard core looks or age disparity ( equal in attractiveness) There are religious commonalities as well as I get along with his family etc. But I think if I was from there , I would have never been a candidate for marriage with him. In his culture, virginity is prized, people dont typically marry women older than them and there is a laundry list of things that dont add up. Do I think that no one could fall in love that was outside of that parameter? Yes, I think love can exist and pop up everywhere.

When my husband and I talk about all of the "greencarders". My theory on alot of them:

"its just as easy to fall in love with a USC as it is someone from your home counrty"

You know the saying...My mom used to always say it "its just as easy to fell in love with a rich man..."

I agree, it totally happens

Lisa

"you fondle my trigger then you blame my gun"

Timeline: 13 month long journey from filing to visa in hand

If you were lucky and got an approval and reunion with your loved one rather quickly; Please refrain from telling people who waited 6+ months just to get out of a service center to "chill out" or to "stop whining" It's insensitive,and unecessary. Once you walk a mile in their shoes you will understand and be heard.

Thanks!

Filed: Timeline
Posted

fools rush in where angels fear to tread

There are definite bonuses and risks involved with marrying a person from overseas based alone on the fact that immigration status is involved. Getting out of an impoverished situation will encourage an entire family to become complicit in aiding someone to dupe an american for just long enough to get here, establish themself and leave. Now why am I bringing this up? For as much as my husband " loves " me, I dont think the series of things he s done both back home and here reflect this "love" at all. We dont have a hard core looks or age disparity ( equal in attractiveness) There are religious commonalities as well as I get along with his family etc. But I think if I was from there , I would have never been a candidate for marriage with him. In his culture, virginity is prized, people dont typically marry women older than them and there is a laundry list of things that dont add up. Do I think that no one could fall in love that was outside of that parameter? Yes, I think love can exist and pop up everywhere.

When my husband and I talk about all of the "greencarders". My theory on alot of them:

"its just as easy to fall in love with a USC as it is someone from your home counrty"

You know the saying...My mom used to always say it "its just as easy to fell in love with a rich man..."

I agree, it totally happens

Lisa

Filed: Timeline
Posted
wahrania....GET THAT BABY BOY OUT!!!

Do we have a name picked out?

2 centimeters -3 and they dont have a bed ready in labor and delivery to start the pit. I have been in latent labor so far over 14 hours ( contractions) with 2 doses of stadol so far and its worn off. I sent my husband with my brother to sleep things off in the hotel because he was almost passing out from fatigue so I am sitting up here in ante partum with my laptop watching some silly julia stiles movie

 
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