A quick update

[ose_n_me 0]

Hi all...

Just wanted to drop a line to say that all is absolutely wonderful with me and the hubby. He's been here 4 months now, and things are moving along great. He passed the interview and entrance exam for Pharmacy Tech school and started class Monday. Today we got his EAD in the mail... He got his driving permit, and he's slowly learning! (he's never even driven before.... )

I never imagined it would be so amazing, yet so crazy at the same time! He is a loving, adoring husband who makes me feel loved and appreciated every day. Even tho I know inside he misses his family terribly...he has stepped into the role of husband and father with little visible effort. He is everything I knew he'd be, and I could not thank God enough for blessing us with this love.

Although i thought the hard part was over...being apart for almost a year! The journey is just beginning. Helping him to learn and experience new things is neverending. The cultural differences have not been much of an issue because we refuse to let them. We talk ALOT! And the simple misunderstandings are quickly resolved. Not to say that our feathers don't get ruffled every now and then...but we know we both must give in a little, and compromise as in any relationship. He is extremely open and willing to learn, and has adjusted to "yankeehood" very well...

Congrats to those who have had good news lately...I do try to keep up with everything on VJ, but have little time to post as I would like. But please know that I am here celebrating with all of you, and also feeling your pain when things are not going as planned. I will continue to send prayers, and wish godspeed to those still waiting.

Until next time..

God Bless

[forchika 4]

Nice update glad he is adjusting well, my hubby had never driven before either but learned very quickly. Even drove himself to take the driver's test did not even tell me he was going. Wanted to suprise me, just came home with his new liscense in hand. I wish him well in his schooling efforts and his continued adjustment!!!!!!Thanks again for the update

[ForeverAmen 0]

Wonderful news! I am glad things are going well, and pray that this will continue for a lifetime.

Boaz

[We_Destiny 1]

Wonderful update.. I am very happy for the two of you

By the way... I love the heart

[Ta Ta 1]

Great update, thanks for sharing

[boo boo 1]

Thanks for the update, I am so happy to hear things are going fabulous

[2Hearts2Joys 0]

Nice update. If you have ever travelled to Nigeria you will understand why he has never driven a car before.

It is beyond a challenge to drive

[beejay 123]

Glad things are still going so well for you.

May the good times keep coming and may you continue to learn how to get through the more difficult ones.

[9jalover4life 0]

SOUNDS LIKE EVERYTHING IS GOOD FOR YOU...MANY MORE YEARS OF HAPPINESS TO THE BOTH OF YOU

[ebonyqueen 0]

I love hearing these updates. It's so important to know that there are healthy, loving relationships that are thriving and successful. We mostly hear so much negative stuff, it's nice to hear the other side. Thanks for sharing your happiness, and I hope you continue to have a lifetime of blessings.

Maybe we can make this the HAPPY thread...for those who have their SO's here now

Anyone wanna start posting some recent pics of you and your fiance/spouse together here in the US. Lets share!

Ose_n_me, you wanna start if off?!!!

[K&A 0]

Thanks for sharing ... I love happy endings!

[ose_n_me 0]

Thank you to those who replied back. I appreciate the positive vibes and well wishes. I started this thread with the hopes that others may want to share their happiness as well...and maybe update on how their SO is adjusting here. I know that I am curious how others are adjusting and what they are pursuing as far as school, work etc. But I discovered thru several PMs that some don't feel comfortable sharing here on VJ because of the personal attacks or "perceived cliques" that they feel exist. Or fear their situation being judged or ridiculed. I'm not sure exactly what they mean....but I know putting personal stuff out there can lead to heated discussions sometimes, and words can be misinterpretted and misunderstood. There is also the fear that USCIS/consulates read and/or investigate sites like this and may use information against them. Some even think there are "spies" on these sites that purposely try to get "dirt" on people. OMG....but I guess u never know!

To Ebonyqueen...I think I will pass on posting pics here. Its a great thought, but Im not sure anyone else is interested. It seems most people slow it up on VJ once their SO gets here....at least I know I have. Not that I don't keep up when I can, it's just not the central focus anymore. There's a whole new journey, and right now we want to forget the long time we spent apart...and focus on our life together. I am sure I can speak for others when I say that friends were made on this site...and its those people who we continue to turn to for support and friendship outside this forum.

Although I don't post much anymore...I would like to say that I always check my PMs, and am happy to help if i can. I remember being a newbie and having a million questions and concerns. Again, I wish the best to those going thru the process, and my prayers are with those of you who are in AP/AR, especially those who have continued to be supportive and helpful to the rest of us.

God Bless

FYI...anyone who's SO is here already, and they would like to meet others and/or talk and share experiences. (the good, bad or ugly!...lol) Please PM me...I know a wonderful forum, but its by invitation only.

[ebonyqueen 0]

I hear ya! To be honest that is the exact reason I do not have any of my personal stuff on this site. Not even my timeline. I considered putting pics on my profile, but decided against it. Its not that I am that private of a person...its just some people on here like to use past posts and or old news to stir up drama....and its better not to give anyone fuel for their fire! I will be the first to admit I have been drawn into some heated debates...but IMO, if you put stupid stuff out there...be prepared to have folks get stupid in return! It's the nature of public forums.

any hoo...I hope I didnt make anyone feel uncomfortable. I would never rain on anyones parade. I just have very deep rooted opinions, and if asked...i have no problem expressing them. (sometimes i even express them when not asked...hahahaha)

And to address the "clique" issue...there is definitely an "in" crowd...not just in the sub-saharan, but in most of the other forums on VJ. Although at times they do "band together "(sometimes for or against another member) for the most part they are just those that spend more time on here than the rest of us, and are feeling comfortable posting in many different threads which has allowed them to form more things (and opinions) in common with other members.

Speaking for myself...I prefer to roll solo! And I will only add my 2 cents when I feel like it...not cuz anyone (friend or foe) expects me too.

Peace out yall!

[Perseverance 1]

Thank you to those who replied back. I appreciate the positive vibes and well wishes. I started this thread with the hopes that others may want to share their happiness as well...and maybe update on how their SO is adjusting here. I know that I am curious how others are adjusting and what they are pursuing as far as school, work etc. But I discovered thru several PMs that some don't feel comfortable sharing here on VJ because of the personal attacks or "perceived cliques" that they feel exist. Or fear their situation being judged or ridiculed. I'm not sure exactly what they mean....but I know putting personal stuff out there can lead to heated discussions sometimes, and words can be misinterpretted and misunderstood. There is also the fear that USCIS/consulates read and/or investigate sites like this and may use information against them. Some even think there are "spies" on these sites that purposely try to get "dirt" on people. OMG....but I guess u never know!

To Ebonyqueen...I think I will pass on posting pics here. Its a great thought, but Im not sure anyone else is interested. It seems most people slow it up on VJ once their SO gets here....at least I know I have. Not that I don't keep up when I can, it's just not the central focus anymore. There's a whole new journey, and right now we want to forget the long time we spent apart...and focus on our life together. I am sure I can speak for others when I say that friends were made on this site...and its those people who we continue to turn to for support and friendship outside this forum.

Although I don't post much anymore...I would like to say that I always check my PMs, and am happy to help if i can. I remember being a newbie and having a million questions and concerns. Again, I wish the best to those going thru the process, and my prayers are with those of you who are in AP/AR, especially those who have continued to be supportive and helpful to the rest of us.

God Bless

FYI...anyone who's SO is here already, and they would like to meet others and/or talk and share experiences. (the good, bad or ugly!...lol) Please PM me...I know a wonderful forum, but its by invitation only.

I don't post much around here anymore because I don't have much time on my hands. BUT this particular post is upsetting to me and I feel the need to respond.

You speak of a fear to post because of "perceived cliques", I would definitely say that there are those who are "lurking" simply to pounce on someones misfortune and spread their own nasty message of doom. My advice to people is that you need to ignore that kind of #######. You simply need to use the ignore function and block users when you need to protect yourself. Lord knows I have had to do that to keep my sanity on this board.

You speak of a fear that USCIS checks these types of boards for information...do you really know that they don't? UMM I don't think so...not unless you work for USCIS in a particular department so if some people have the better safe than sorry attitude then hey that is ok.

It is your choice not to post your pics. But to say that noone else is interested simply is not true, plenty of people are interested. I for one have been rooting for the 2 of you all along, I just don't post much. Yes when peoples SO arrive they don't post much on VJ because they have a different focus. Yes friends are made on this site and from what you said such friendships are "perceived cliques"

Anyone should be able to post here with out the fear of ridicule, But unfortunately it does happen, there are those who take pleasure in other people pain. There are those who use others misfortune as a soap box for their own misguided misinterpreted messages. I am not attacking you so please do not think that. I have followed your story weather you have realized or not.

You spoke about "perceived cliques" but your comment about your "invitation only" forum really rubbed me the wrong way. If one of us was not in your "clique" then we are not invited.

Thankfully there has not been much drama around here lately because people have realize when not to "bite the baited hook" I hope that it stays that way so people who seek the much needed information about what pertains to their journey can continue.

Again I am NOT attacking you in any way but responding to your post with my own post and my own opinions.

[Perseverance 1]

Hi all...

Just wanted to drop a line to say that all is absolutely wonderful with me and the hubby. He's been here 4 months now, and things are moving along great. He passed the interview and entrance exam for Pharmacy Tech school and started class Monday. Today we got his EAD in the mail... He got his driving permit, and he's slowly learning! (he's never even driven before.... )

I never imagined it would be so amazing, yet so crazy at the same time! He is a loving, adoring husband who makes me feel loved and appreciated every day. Even tho I know inside he misses his family terribly...he has stepped into the role of husband and father with little visible effort. He is everything I knew he'd be, and I could not thank God enough for blessing us with this love.

Although i thought the hard part was over...being apart for almost a year! The journey is just beginning. Helping him to learn and experience new things is neverending. The cultural differences have not been much of an issue because we refuse to let them. We talk ALOT! And the simple misunderstandings are quickly resolved. Not to say that our feathers don't get ruffled every now and then...but we know we both must give in a little, and compromise as in any relationship. He is extremely open and willing to learn, and has adjusted to "yankeehood" very well...

Congrats to those who have had good news lately...I do try to keep up with everything on VJ, but have little time to post as I would like. But please know that I am here celebrating with all of you, and also feeling your pain when things are not going as planned. I will continue to send prayers, and wish godspeed to those still waiting.

Until next time..

God Bless

They say the first year is the hardest but I have to say that it lasts more than a year!!

My husband has been here for 18 months and it has not all been sunshine and roses. My best suggestion is to keep the communication O-P-E-N!!!!

Some days I did not know if we were going to make it...but we are still here and happy, and I thank my good friends on VJ that helped me through the rough spots.

I have been though the darkness and seen the light of progress!!! We have worked very hard on our relationship to make it strong.

I am proud of how far we have come...LORD knows I have had my share of trials and tribulations.

My best wishes and happy times for you both.

P