Does anyone elses family...?

[Tunisia216 2]

[NicoleX08 1]

very, very true...

[chri'stina 190]

My parents have always said they didn't care what color or race the person I'd marry is as long as he is a good choice for me. My grandmother(Scottish, English) married an Italian and for that her parents did not attend her wedding.

I do know people in mixed marriages that started off on very bad terms with the in laws but after awhile things softened and changed dramatically. Keep hope about that. One couple I know, he is black and she is white, and her family was very racist and even considered a hit man to get rid of her then fiance. After the marriage and after the first baby was born, they started changing and now they get along very well and love him. It was a long process, years and years, but now that is all in the distant past.

WHAT? Seriously? that is crazy... I know that my family is racist, but I would never imagine them doing that. I am sorry that your friend had to go through that.

I know, it's really crazy. This happened when I was a kid, they were in their 20's but they were good family friends. The great part is how everything is good now and the guy forgave them for their racism. They've been married over 10 years now and have 4 kids.

[Chica Yeyé 41]

I must say, my dad was not too impressed when he "discovered" Bren was American

Today they are good buddies though.

[EstebanTrabajos 7]

Nope, I feel your pain but gladly my new family is awesome!!

I'm the latin lover in this relationship who married a southern bell, since my in-laws are from the great state of NC. Well, being the dirty south and all; confederate flag, fried food, high black population, white Vs White etc, I just can describe their feelings towards me with 3 words: THEY LOVE ME.

I was kind of taken aback by this since my father-in-law is a 20-year military veteran who grew up in the NC mountains, well this tough 6 ft. and so guy is the nicest, kindest and heartwarming person I've ever known. I thought this story was going to turn differently since his little baby was to marry, as some stupid F$#@ing ignorant and arrogant uneducated individuals (pardon my french) call, a "dirty mexican." Nope, her whole family loves me, we've traveled and I've met her grandmothers, uncles, ants, cousins etc and they treat me as one of their own, not once I've seen something that may tell me otherwise.

My parents-in-law love us to the point that they liquidated all their assets, packed up their stuff and move into El Paso because they are in love with the culture of the border; Mexican, Texan and New Mexican traditions all ecompassed within this border region.

I can just give you one advice, even if family is important in a marriage, you and only you 2 form your union. Don't let anybody bash nor influence the happiness of your marriage since those who don't wish you to succeed shouldn't be called "family." Your future will be nice and successful as long as you love each other and don't let anybody mess with your true bond.

Edited August 27, 2008 by GueraYTavo

[IAMX 3,055]

Yes, unfortunately both sides of my family are racists. I have been feeling a bit of bias against Hispanics, mostly because of the town I lived in which was entirely Hispanic and White, offered little diversity, and had way too many idiots who refused to speak English or even learn it. Since I've moved to a town with more diversity (Whites, Blacks, Hispanics, Asians, Arabic, Indian, and so on) I've found myself better off. I remember when commuting up with a Mexican, when we worked security, and he used to flat out call other Mexicans two of the more prominent racist names, the ones who were driving a small utility-style truck (with paint buckets, brooms, etc. in the back) in the fast/commuter lane going like 15mph under the speed limit. I couldn't help but laugh at this, because we saw eye to eye, in that the sort of attitude displayed by some is not to be integrated into the society they came into, but to expect society to integrate with them, which won't happen.

However, with even more disdain I look toward my mother's side of the family, from the south. My mother was criticized, because some time down the road my mom suddenly decided to like black guys, by both my mom and dad's side of the family. She ultimately had my sister (half-sister, technically, but I don't care for technicalities) who is half-black, half-white. In her early years, she was dark as hell, then as she got older her skin got very light and is now lighter than mine. She doesn't necessarily like her skin being dark (I appreciate a tan more than she does), and in fact prefers light skin as she has been well versed into the modernized gothic/grunge-like culture (not to be confused with the gothic fad). I'd never trade her for another sister in the world. We have our differences (which are social, I'm a lot more social and vocally upfront), and I'm rigidly protective of her. One person in my life made the mistake of calling her a *** (n-word), and he got about 5 loosened teeth from my fist.

My dad's side of the family, not really in touch with my mom anymore, or this sister, since she has no relation to that side, seemed to accept her, but my mom's side of the family is certainly divided. The older people in my family, from Georgia and Texas, for instance, trained their dog to bark at black people. It started off by saying "Ahhhh (their way of saying "I") see a (n-word)", getting the dog to bark, then getting the dog to bark when just saying, "Ahhh see a..", then afterwards it would recognize black people and simply bark feverishly at them whenever it saw them. So as you can see there's a bit of my family who still are living in the 19th century and need a long ways to go to join the 21st. Some refuse to talk or acknowledge this sister as being part of the family, which matters not to me as I've only seen these people once or twice in my life, when I was an infant, and with 100% certainty I wouldn't mind going the rest of my life without speaking to them again (have a good life!), even though, being white, their problem isn't with me. They certainly won't be invited to my marriage, those people, and will likely never see our children, as they are not worthy enough to see such beautiful, untainted human beings.

My fiancee's family, from Greece, tends to have quite a disliking for people from Albania and Turkey. Probably because Greeks were part of the Ottaman, and freed themselves from Turks, whereas Greece apparently has the same problem we do with Mexicans, with Albanians.

It seems wherever you go there's racism, so it's kinda something you're both battling and embracing at the same time.

Edited August 27, 2008 by SRVT

[one...two...tree 2,762]

i hate mexicans..

I hate how they make their food taste so damn good.

[Scott & Lai 12]

Wow... no, fortunately, there's nothing like that in my family, at least not that I've ever heard about.

[EstebanTrabajos 7]

The ones who were driving a small utility-style truck (with paint buckets, brooms, etc. in the back) in the fast/commuter lane going like 15mph under the speed limit. I couldn't help but laugh at this, because we saw eye to eye, in that the sort of attitude displayed by some is not to be integrated into the society they came into, but to expect society to integrate with them, which won't happen.

Just a quick FYI, the reason why the people in the truck were driving at a lower speed on a commute lane is not because they don't want to integrate into society but because there is a high probability (since you mentioned the truck had paint buckets, brooms, etc) that they were undocumented immigrants working in construction, maintanence etc. Therefore, they are afraid to surpass the speed limit and be pulled over by a cop since the result of being stopped by a cop is to either get a hefty ticket for not carrying a valid drivers license or getting detained and deported.

[IAMX 3,055]

The ones who were driving a small utility-style truck (with paint buckets, brooms, etc. in the back) in the fast/commuter lane going like 15mph under the speed limit. I couldn't help but laugh at this, because we saw eye to eye, in that the sort of attitude displayed by some is not to be integrated into the society they came into, but to expect society to integrate with them, which won't happen.

Just a quick FYI, the reason why the people in the truck were driving at a lower speed on a commute lane is not because they don't want to integrate into society but because there is a high probability (since you mentioned the truck had paint buckets, brooms, etc) that they were undocumented immigrants working in construction, maintanence etc. Therefore, they are afraid to surpass the speed limit and be pulled over by a cop since the result of being stopped by a cop is to either get a hefty ticket for not carrying a valid drivers license or getting detained and deported.

Yeah, I don't think the driving thing was meant to show a lack of integration. Was merely something that we both actually saw eye to eye on (in that case, being annoying as hell, which made me laugh because we saw eye to eye), but the examples of lack of integration being refusal to speak or even learn English, especially when ESL classes at local high schools and the CC were free or next-to-nothing. I helped a few of them, with the Spanish I know, who actually desired to learn English and do something with their life while here besides speak another language and go ridiculously slow in the fast lane out of fear of being pulled over and deported. For the most part, it's their own fault they are living so uncomfortably.

[EstebanTrabajos 7]

Understood,

Just don't generalize because in this country there are millions of US citizens that refuse and/or are not even attracted on getting a higher education to elevate their standard of living, just look around. This Mexican has 2 Bachelor's Degrees from an American University under his belt and speaks 3 languages.

[Tunisia216 2]

ITA and well said

Understood,

Just don't generalize because in this country there are millions of US citizens that refuse and/or are not even attracted on getting a higher education to elevate their standard of living, just look around. This Mexican has 2 Bachelor's Degrees from an American University under his belt and speaks 3 languages.

[Nessa 23]

my dad is a bit racist. the rest, i don't think so. but then again, i'm a caucasian married to a caucasian, so..

[Gemmie 142]

Well I'm British so there was never an issue with race, though my fiancee's family love the fact that I'm from England. They always introduce me as being English and his mother is always asking me questions about the UK either for work or personal reasons. She's openly accepted me as her daughter.

However, on MY side of the family... obviously not "race" issues but I've felt many times that my family wish he wasn't American just because it means I'm always going away. Now that they know I plan on moving out there potentially permanently, they often voice how much it sucks and how sad they feel about it. They've even admitted that they wished Bill was from nearby which of course we all do... though sometimes I can't help but feel they're hoping I'll drop this relationship and find someone more convenient.

Oh, and my brother always makes generalisations about Bill such as how he must be rich as he's American, or he must brag a lot, etc.

[Ken y Leidys 20]

My ex-wife's uncle would come visit once every so often, and his tirade we used to hear so frequently was, "I hate Mexicans!" We would hear how "Mexicans are Ruining the United States!" and "A Mexican killed my friend, because he didn't know how to drive!" I was so sick of hearing this bull$h !t. I told him that he was offensive, that I love driving to Mexico on the weekends, where I have great friends, and they're always nicer to me than whites. He didn't have anything to say, but somehow, his brain was programmed to hate "Mexicans" - oh, and he's a Northern California "PROGRESSIVE."