Frustrating Mena Men

[LRA 0]

I made photocopies of all the tickets my friends at work got for stuff like no seatbelt, speeding, weaving, etc. and showed them to Ahmed. I think that made him realize the seriousness of it.

I'm lucky I didn't actually have a single issue with Ammar on this-- he got it when i just told him... but... I did bother to tell him that we get tickets for things and he believed me. Your approach is what i was talking about. I think sometimes maybe they don't think things are enforced-- just like at home.

I admittedly drove a few times in jordan and it didn't bother me... but... I only drove once on the highway and then the other times were short drives in Irbed. I tried to avoid driving not for any other reason than it's an imprisionable offence without your Jordanian or valid international DL.

You can drive rental cars with US License. I don't think they allow you to drive private cars without a jordanian license. And I could never pass the drivers exam in Jordan. I might use my wasta to get a license this year. LOL.

[S and S 12]

Well, you could be like my father and how he tought me. My father decided on night at 2am when he was particularly drunk that it was time to teach me how to drive. I was 12 years old, lol. So he (yes while he was drunk) drove me out to the country well outside of the city. Because it was the middle of the night there was almost no traffic. Then he just had me keep making various turns and let me get the feel of the car and driving. After about an hour he pointed me in the direction of the city and eventually I ended up on a highway. I was so scared to be driving on the highway as it was the first time ever for me to drive and it was very illegal at my age, lol. Then it started raining and I am fumbling around for the windshield wiper controls and the defroster. At one point I couldn't hardly see a thing and started to freak. My father, being totally drunk, didn't get upset at all and just helped me locate everything. At the time we lived in apartments with a very crowded parking lot. I was worried about parking so I chose to take us to a empty parking lot (must have been 4am by this point) and I practiced parking for 30 minutes. After that I was confident to take the car back and park it at the apartments. It was definitely and interesting experience. He took me out and later my younger brother this way a couple times. Eventually I became the designated driver, lol. I don't know how many times I drove my dad and his friends home because they were too drunk. Because it could cause me to lose my chance at a license until age 18 I was always very careful and thank God never got caught. I probably even saved lives considering how my father would drive when he drank. We figured if I ever was caught the police would prefer me over my father in driving. Needless to say, later at age 15 and soon to turn 16 my grandfather offered to take me out driving. He had no idea my father had been teaching me so it was a huge suprise to him that he couldn't find any fault in my driving and that I wasn't scared at all, lol. I didn't tell him that I had experience.

Anyway, I don't really recommend that method, but I thought I would share it if for no other reason then a laugh.

[Nasturtium 500]

I made photocopies of all the tickets my friends at work got for stuff like no seatbelt, speeding, weaving, etc. and showed them to Ahmed. I think that made him realize the seriousness of it.

I'm lucky I didn't actually have a single issue with Ammar on this-- he got it when i just told him... but... I did bother to tell him that we get tickets for things and he believed me. Your approach is what i was talking about. I think sometimes maybe they don't think things are enforced-- just like at home.

I admittedly drove a few times in jordan and it didn't bother me... but... I only drove once on the highway and then the other times were short drives in Irbed. I tried to avoid driving not for any other reason than it's an imprisionable offence without your Jordanian or valid international DL.

You can drive rental cars with US License. I don't think they allow you to drive private cars without a jordanian license. And I could never pass the drivers exam in Jordan. I might use my wasta to get a license this year. LOL.

It was a private car. I am not looking forward to that test. It's crazy! That whole backing up through cones and into that parallel space between concrete pylons, and the fact that you have to use their crazy car and the mean examiner... no... I don't like that at all.

[Nothing1234 2]

Can he take a bus? First of all, I'm not a taxi either, gas is outrageous and buses are common here and in the ME. Nothing wrong with good ole Mass Transportation!

I was very clear about this right out with my hubby. I understand in Egypt they typically do not drive. If someone is not cut out to drive then they can take taxis and buses. I hardly drove in NYC we always took the train or a bus.

[maggieNomar 0]

Perhaps he doesn't realize that our driving laws are enforced. You could always let him know that. It's not that places like Jordan, Egypt, Morocco, etc don't have laws or the same laws.. it's that the enforcement is different. We stay in line because we are more apt to be ticketed for one thing.

Good point. It took a bit to get that point acrossed, but when I started quoting the ticket prices for various 'minor' offenses, suddenly it became clear.

T: you have to protect your assets and people around you by NOT letting him drive if he wants to be stubborn. Maybe after he has to walk for awhile he'll take it seriously.

Brnid: They have lanes??

[*Maureen* 0]

well i think men turn their ears off when there is yelling involved...lol try taking the calm approach, sit down with him and explain to him very calmly and maybe the light bulb will go off.

we must follow the rules of the road or there will be consequences involved. good luck.

[Aymsgirl 0]

We just started driving last week. I will tell you my husband took the temporary driving exam in English and did not pass. I think he over analyzed everything. Well, he typed everything from the book and converted into Arabic, studied for two days, I surprised him and said let's go. He passed it in Arabic no problems.

I can understand your frustrations. Ayman wants to drive, never has before in his life except around in circles or up and down the street a few times but not on the road with traffic. It's frustrating at times. I say stop, stop stop, put on my imaginary brake a few times and finally he gets it. I feel like a bag of nerves but its like he is a teenager and I am having to show him. He is doing better and has driven on 4 lane roads, no highways but little by little he is getting it.

I guess I don't really have any different advice except that if you can't teach him then he needs to save for lessons and he has to face the fact that they cost money and this is for a good and he will not be throwing his money away. He needs to understand the importance of an accident here. He can face jailtime or you lose your home and be financially ruined. If he isn't serious, I would probabably say tough it big boy and ride that bus. We do not have buses or taxis where we live so that would never be an option if I were in your shoes.

Hope it gets better.

[Tunisia216 2]

I am really sorry to hear that Terrie but I can definitely sympathize as we are going through the exact same thing. Jihed has little to no driving experience from Tunisia - like others in MENA countries it just was not necessary when there were taxis, buses, and trains to go anywhere that you wanted and most places were in walking distance anyway. I tried with the starting the car thing and had the same problem that others have shared - turning the key too hard me freaking thinking he was trying to blow up my engine..I got frustrated and he got And then there was the time I thought it would be good to let him drive on a little country road by my Mom's farm (no lanes or faint lanes and no traffic.. Ya know cow crossing ) well about 3 minutes was okay and then he almost put us in the ditch. I think I got over anxious and should have started a lot smaller. For now we just gave it a break. He's content to walk everywhere. There aren't really any taxis in my town and the bus is there but it's a good walk to the bus stops.. So for now he stays local and walks ... I don't know what to tell you more than what others have suggested, but I just wanted to let you know that you are not alone. And like others have said, driving in their country is also a challenge. I drove a few times in Tunisia and it was horrible. In Jihed's town wasn't bad but in Tunis, OMG those people are totally majnoon and they think that traffic lights and street signs are only for decoration!! I was crying by the time it was over! No more!! lol

[Henia 11]

We just started driving last week. I will tell you my husband took the temporary driving exam in English and did not pass. I think he over analyzed everything. Well, he typed everything from the book and converted into Arabic, studied for two days, I surprised him and said let's go. He passed it in Arabic no problems.

I can understand your frustrations. Ayman wants to drive, never has before in his life except around in circles or up and down the street a few times but not on the road with traffic. It's frustrating at times. I say stop, stop stop, put on my imaginary brake a few times and finally he gets it. I feel like a bag of nerves but its like he is a teenager and I am having to show him. He is doing better and has driven on 4 lane roads, no highways but little by little he is getting it.

I guess I don't really have any different advice except that if you can't teach him then he needs to save for lessons and he has to face the fact that they cost money and this is for a good and he will not be throwing his money away. He needs to understand the importance of an accident here. He can face jailtime or you lose your home and be financially ruined. If he isn't serious, I would probabably say tough it big boy and ride that bus. We do not have buses or taxis where we live so that would never be an option if I were in your shoes.

Hope it gets better.

Why didn't he take the test in Arabic? If you live in CA, then they offer the test in several languages including Arabic.

[Aymsgirl 0]

We just started driving last week. I will tell you my husband took the temporary driving exam in English and did not pass. I think he over analyzed everything. Well, he typed everything from the book and converted into Arabic, studied for two days, I surprised him and said let's go. He passed it in Arabic no problems.

I can understand your frustrations. Ayman wants to drive, never has before in his life except around in circles or up and down the street a few times but not on the road with traffic. It's frustrating at times. I say stop, stop stop, put on my imaginary brake a few times and finally he gets it. I feel like a bag of nerves but its like he is a teenager and I am having to show him. He is doing better and has driven on 4 lane roads, no highways but little by little he is getting it.

I guess I don't really have any different advice except that if you can't teach him then he needs to save for lessons and he has to face the fact that they cost money and this is for a good and he will not be throwing his money away. He needs to understand the importance of an accident here. He can face jailtime or you lose your home and be financially ruined. If he isn't serious, I would probabably say tough it big boy and ride that bus. We do not have buses or taxis where we live so that would never be an option if I were in your shoes.

Hope it gets better.

Why didn't he take the test in Arabic? If you live in CA, then they offer the test in several languages including Arabic.

We live in Ohio. In our state they do offer the test only in Arabic but not the study guide. He told me the first time he took it in English because the book was in English and he didn't want to get confused. It really didn't make sense to me but he failed it the first time by one question. Second time hardly missed any at all. I seen a huge change in his attitude when he passed it! Thank God for this, he went from humdrum to excited about something and he hasn't been that way in a long time.

[Henia 11]

We just started driving last week. I will tell you my husband took the temporary driving exam in English and did not pass. I think he over analyzed everything. Well, he typed everything from the book and converted into Arabic, studied for two days, I surprised him and said let's go. He passed it in Arabic no problems.

I can understand your frustrations. Ayman wants to drive, never has before in his life except around in circles or up and down the street a few times but not on the road with traffic. It's frustrating at times. I say stop, stop stop, put on my imaginary brake a few times and finally he gets it. I feel like a bag of nerves but its like he is a teenager and I am having to show him. He is doing better and has driven on 4 lane roads, no highways but little by little he is getting it.

I guess I don't really have any different advice except that if you can't teach him then he needs to save for lessons and he has to face the fact that they cost money and this is for a good and he will not be throwing his money away. He needs to understand the importance of an accident here. He can face jailtime or you lose your home and be financially ruined. If he isn't serious, I would probabably say tough it big boy and ride that bus. We do not have buses or taxis where we live so that would never be an option if I were in your shoes.

Hope it gets better.

Why didn't he take the test in Arabic? If you live in CA, then they offer the test in several languages including Arabic.

We live in Ohio. In our state they do offer the test only in Arabic but not the study guide. He told me the first time he took it in English because the book was in English and he didn't want to get confused. It really didn't make sense to me but he failed it the first time by one question. Second time hardly missed any at all. I seen a huge change in his attitude when he passed it! Thank God for this, he went from humdrum to excited about something and he hasn't been that way in a long time.

Aaaah ok Ohio! My mistake ... I just looked back at your profile ... and yes, I mistakenly took CA for your location not service center! Ooops! Mmm well in MI I know they offered the test in Arabic but I have no clue about OH .... sorry my suggestions equaled nothing

But yes, of course little milestones/victories do make all the world of difference! You know they gotta feel like "men" don't they ... esp being there with you, surely he is more dependent on you then he would like. But bechweya-bechweya/slowly-slowly as they say ... baby steps!

[Sandrila 1]

Yassmine2878...I want to tell you that baby is precious!!!!!!!! and i wanted to name our baby girl Mehdi someday

nice choice!

as for mrs. chauffer....i can see why his driving skills are so bad...you ever driven over there???

I have and believe me if you think driving in NY will kill you

if i could drive over there, esp in CASA i can drive anywhere

goodluck!

[Tunisia216 2]

I get what you are saying and I thought that would be true.. But now I am not so sure. I did drive in Tunis and I would say it's the worst place in the world to drive except Cairo... Now that said I have a lot of Egyptian friends here and love them as I might, I absolutely fear getting into the car with them. They learned to drive in Egypt and they drive here and it frightens me. It's because their driving style is adapted to Egypt - and although the roads might not be that way here, they are still driving aggressively and recklessly here... Which can cause, as Terrie said, someone feeling like they are driving with a crazy person.

I'm sure some people can adapt their driving style when they get here.. But not everyone is like that.. sometimes it's a matter of being taught to drive all over again! For instance said Egyptian friends can't understand why you can't pass someone on the right (not a multi lane highway) and why we have to pass on the left..Even though I've explained its' because they could be turning at any time and if someone is making a right hand turn and they fail to signal or you don't notice, and you pass them on the right.. well.. boom..

Yassmine2878...I want to tell you that baby is precious!!!!!!!! and i wanted to name our baby girl Mehdi someday

nice choice!

as for mrs. chauffer....i can see why his driving skills are so bad...you ever driven over there???

I have and believe me if you think driving in NY will kill you

if i could drive over there, esp in CASA i can drive anywhere

goodluck!

[Mommy2ZaidnSalma 11]

wow sounds like the MENA men are all bad drivers...lol....sofyan had a jordanian drivers license but never drove in jordan, im pretty sure he paid someone to give it to him....when he got here he was the WORST driver in the world, he could not understand turning, parking, he would speed up, and slow down, speed up,and slow down, it took me 3 months and the most patience imaginable..he failed the driving test 2 times...i told him he only had one more time to pass, and thank god, he did, he still is not the best driver in the world..which is surprising considering he drove a taxi for 2 years, he has a bad case of road rage..i have to remind him sometimes that he has a baby in the car, and its not cool to street race the car next to him in our 2007 ford focus...

[Nasturtium 500]

Ammar is actually a very good and careful driver. He was a good driver over there as well-- never once scared me. He wasn't interested in much of the racing and craziness. He doesn't suffer from road rage either, although he did admit to one time having road rage-- which ended up not so good for the other person (it was a hand-to hand combat thing). After that coupled with a death in his family from speed-related causes, he said he decided to give it up (the speeding and the road rage). He likes to drive under the speed limit now, and likes to take his time where ever he goes. He was like that over there as well.