CR1 - BadNews

[Sprailenes 47]

Like I said, I prefer not to judge someone based on what little information he provides. You need not convince me of the red flags. If we went solely on one side of the story then this forum is full of red flags.

[fahim 0]

Things are working for me alhamdullillah.. as far as me and wife are concerned we are almost on the phone 24/7 she needs me and I need to her.. and very soon we are gonna be together..

Spraileness, I have a meeting with her family very soon and things are working for me.. hopefully next month we will have a reception inshaALLAH..

For those who think negative about me: Like I said if I wanted I could simply ask her to leave her family but I didnt want that, if your parents are happy then you stay happy for the rest of your life else you better be prepared that your daugther will oneday betray you.. This is how I think, what goes around comes around.. I simply care abbout my wifes feelings that how much she loves her parents and I didnt want her to leave them right away and hurt them.. there is always a solution for everything which is TALKS or Negotiate.. So this is what I believe and so far I have almost done that.. I am not just sitting and doing nothing what I am going through none of you knows.. so easy for you to judge bad things about me but hard for you to find what really the problem is.. So I am satisified right now I was worried before but not anymore things are working out for me

Fahim

Edited August 29, 2008 by fahim

[Sprailenes 47]

Thats good, I hope things go well and her family can accept you.

Its difficult when a parents aren't behind you and I am sure shes having a hard time with everything as well.

Its good you are both still communicating though. Keep those lines of communication open, love does conquer all and I wish you both all the best.

[fahim 0]

Thats good, I hope things go well and her family can accept you.

Its difficult when a parents aren't behind you and I am sure shes having a hard time with everything as well.

Its good you are both still communicating though. Keep those lines of communication open, love does conquer all and I wish you both all the best.

Thank you soo much for being soo supportive..

[pcana 1]

Things are working for me alhamdullillah.. as far as me and wife are concerned we are almost on the phone 24/7 she needs me and I need to her.. and very soon we are gonna be together..

Spraileness, I have a meeting with her family very soon and things are working for me.. hopefully next month we will have a reception inshaALLAH..

For those who think negative about me: Like I said if I wanted I could simply ask her to leave her family but I didnt want that, if your parents are happy then you stay happy for the rest of your life else you better be prepared that your daugther will oneday betray you.. This is how I think, what goes around comes around.. I simply care abbout my wifes feelings that how much she loves her parents and I didnt want her to leave them right away and hurt them.. there is always a solution for everything which is TALKS or Negotiate.. So this is what I believe and so far I have almost done that.. I am not just sitting and doing nothing what I am going through none of you knows.. so easy for you to judge bad things about me but hard for you to find what really the problem is.. So I am satisified right now I was worried before but not anymore things are working out for me

Fahim

I'm glad you'll be having a meeting with her family to sort things out. I understand we all come from different backgrounds and traditions and values are different from culture to culture.

Good luck for you and your wife.

God bless

Abby

[GiGii 4]

Things are working for me alhamdullillah.. as far as me and wife are concerned we are almost on the phone 24/7 she needs me and I need to her.. and very soon we are gonna be together..

Spraileness, I have a meeting with her family very soon and things are working for me.. hopefully next month we will have a reception inshaALLAH..

For those who think negative about me: Like I said if I wanted I could simply ask her to leave her family but I didnt want that, if your parents are happy then you stay happy for the rest of your life else you better be prepared that your daugther will oneday betray you.. This is how I think, what goes around comes around.. I simply care abbout my wifes feelings that how much she loves her parents and I didnt want her to leave them right away and hurt them.. there is always a solution for everything which is TALKS or Negotiate.. So this is what I believe and so far I have almost done that.. I am not just sitting and doing nothing what I am going through none of you knows.. so easy for you to judge bad things about me but hard for you to find what really the problem is.. So I am satisified right now I was worried before but not anymore things are working out for me

Fahim

I'm glad you'll be having a meeting with her family to sort things out. I understand we all come from different backgrounds and traditions and values are different from culture to culture.

Good luck for you and your wife.

God bless

Abby

They are from the same culture background! Thats why this story didnt sound right.

Also if OP loved his wife as much as he states above, and knew all these years in advance the role the parents play, he could have well prepared for his coming and avoided this whole mess.

As long as it turns out ok in the end, its all that matters.

[bhajishah 4]

Maybe you should start on right part with parents by not dressing like James Bond international play boy

[diadromous mermaid 36]

I don't find the situation all that uncommon, really. It's a difficult line to follow, pleasing one's spouse and her family members, and most especially when family members have not been afforded a lot of time together with a new spouse. I can only speak from my own experience, but I can share that my parents, no matter how wonderful a spouse might appear, would always have some concern that I could ultimately be hurt by one to whom I gave my love. It's natural, and whilst many members' parents might not yet have expressed any apprehensions in a marriage that was the culmination of an international romance, with the additional stresses of distance and time apart between the parties, as fair they would wish to be, chances are these thoughts have not only crossed their minds but there will likely come a time when they will be openly expressed. That's simply the product of a parents unconditional love for their own child (even if that child is now an adult). Parents' first inclination is to look out for their children's best interests and no matter how fair they might try to be, they will see "red flags" when "red flags" might not even exist, out of their own desire to make sure their child is loved as unconditionally as their love id for him or her.

Only time will cause such apprehensions to fade.

Things are working for me alhamdullillah.. as far as me and wife are concerned we are almost on the phone 24/7 she needs me and I need to her.. and very soon we are gonna be together..

Spraileness, I have a meeting with her family very soon and things are working for me.. hopefully next month we will have a reception inshaALLAH..

For those who think negative about me: Like I said if I wanted I could simply ask her to leave her family but I didnt want that, if your parents are happy then you stay happy for the rest of your life else you better be prepared that your daugther will oneday betray you.. This is how I think, what goes around comes around.. I simply care abbout my wifes feelings that how much she loves her parents and I didnt want her to leave them right away and hurt them.. there is always a solution for everything which is TALKS or Negotiate.. So this is what I believe and so far I have almost done that.. I am not just sitting and doing nothing what I am going through none of you knows.. so easy for you to judge bad things about me but hard for you to find what really the problem is.. So I am satisified right now I was worried before but not anymore things are working out for me

Fahim

I'm glad you'll be having a meeting with her family to sort things out. I understand we all come from different backgrounds and traditions and values are different from culture to culture.

Good luck for you and your wife.

God bless

Abby

They are from the same culture background! Thats why this story didnt sound right.

Also if OP loved his wife as much as he states above, and knew all these years in advance the role the parents play, he could have well prepared for his coming and avoided this whole mess.

As long as it turns out ok in the end, its all that matters.

Edited August 30, 2008 by diadromous mermaid

[tammy2688 1]

diadromous mermaid is right.

Fahim - You and your wife will find a good day and be together. I know its hard for a woman to choose between family and her husband and you respected your wife enough to give her time.

Keep working at it and talk to your wife every day. Insha-Allah, everything will be ok.

Sending you my prayers,

Tam

[sara..... 371]

Fahim i have watched this story unfold and remained silent until this point......many people do not understand our religion and back grounds......i have seen marriages fall apart because the parents felt slighted because the boy could not give what was agreed on before marraige maybe circumstances changed financially so things did not work out as they were suppose to same thing on the boys side if a brides family did not give what ever was promised the boys family feels insulted....im not sure what brought the change of her family but it certainly is not our business.......and u can never explain to people that are used to freedom of choice with out fear of family and the consequence of disapproval and all that it entails........really im very proud of u many men would demand that the girl leave her family because after marriage it is the husbands right to demand that his wife be with him.........but the mer fact that u have tried to resolve the problem because of the love and respect that u have for ur wife should bring ur in laws around at least enough so that ur wife can be comfortable with living her married life with u...........

and just a side note here living in the usa does not mean that we leave our teachings behind and assume that we can do like other people that are not of our religion......respect for our parents and their wishes is very much a part of our life no matter what country we live in........also with out our family supporting our marraige it is very difficult for it to succeed.....as elders play a very important role in our life..........

inshallah everything will work out

sara

[fahim 0]

Thank you guys .. will soon give a good news.

[meod 0]

Thank you guys .. will soon give a good news.

i understand your issues,when you marry an alien thats not US he or she is always wondering if you only married her or he for immigration benifits beofre he or she had that desire to come to US,either by getting married or crossing the borders illegal ,so marrying someone who was not bron here i mean not pure American you are really gonna face some issues in your life,her family probably are telling her that you only married you her just to come here ,but hey it did not work out pack your stuff and go back home,thats what i would do,why are you here trying to fight to get SS and CGC by you doing that thats going to make things worst and remember if she calls USCIS thats gonna stay on your records,even if she goes back to you later,all i can say is IT DID NOT WORK OUT ,GO BACK HOME BECAUSE YOU CAME HERE TO JOIN YOUR WIFE.

[Amy B. 0]

Thank you guys .. will soon give a good news.

Fahim, I hope everything works out with your wife......insha allaah!!!

Aisha

[Ngoc-Anh 1]

Hope things work out for your guys.

It is hard to make people understand the situation you and especially your wife are in.

I grew up in a culture that is pretty much the same, when it comes to approval of the family to a relationship.

But it is really nice of you to understand her situation and don't make her decide between you and her family!

Hang in there and hopefully you can give us some good new soon!

[thetreble 19]

My my my...lots of critics around these days.

Good luck fahim.