American-Filipino couple...How are you adjusting in the 1st month -1yr of Marriage?

[Completely 3]

How are you guys adjusting in the first 6 months to a year of marriage.. What difficulties do you encountered most??

Please share your experience...

[iya 0]

We just crossed our first year line last month (although technically, I haven't been here a whole year, since I went back for a two-and-a-half month vacation due to extreme homesickness).

As a couple, we didn't really have any difficulties. Our biggest problem so far was when he was being stubborn about procrastinating, and I went into major tampo mode. That was it.

Adjusting was more of a me-thing! Slightly major was the climate - I came here summer, but I was wearing a jacket. Come fall, I was in full winter regalia. By winter, I was back to my shorts and shirts - because I was also back in Manila! Biggest problem for me was the lack of family. In my family, everyone's around - my lola, my mom's siblings, their families, and so on. Even without being a social girl, I lived a technically social life. I didn't have to go to bars and such to have fun - fun was at home. When I got here, there was just me, my sweetie, and his parents. Ai, boredom was my bitterest enemy. How did I cope? I got a job, then went on vacation. Hehe. Now, I'm back, we've moved out, so I just got a job. The next vacation will have to wait.

[ailet 0]

How are you guys adjusting in the first 6 months to a year of marriage.. What difficulties do you encountered most??

Please share your experience...

we always fight really, he have lots of misunderstanding but the good thing is, we always talk and compromise with each other. We both understand that

we need to adjust to limit the disagreements.

[Gumbolette 58]

I can relate on this thread. When my husband went back to US. it was so hard to adjust. Honestly, when he was back there we often have arguments. Probably, I was just missing him so much that I always wanted to talk to him,in the other hand, he missed the things he usually do like meeting his friends there. I found it as if he is not giving me time now that we are a part. The worst thing is, It's so hard to adjust to wake up each morning that he is gone already. I also miss the things we often do... Oh, I miss my husband so much...

[filirican 3]

in my case, it was just the distance! me in the Philippines him in the US or Iraq! hehehhehe! now that we are together, everything is different! we love each other so much and we don't have any time for anything else but with each other. all the fighting online and jelousy when im not on time on meeting him online is all gone when i got here! lol! it was the 1st year of marriage now were 6 months away for our 2nd year of marriage!

[andrew&evelyn 6]

We are married for 14 months tomorrow. We don't have had any major arguements or misunderstanding for the first 12 months. Our biggest arguements happened like a couple weeks ago, its because of my being stubborn. Hubby don't want the silent treatment so he always make a way for us to be ok right there and then. Overall we are very much happy and blessed to have each other

Andrew and Evelyn

[richo 0]

Hi everyone! In my case...aside from the fact that it was both our first marriage..we're used to living on our own and now we need to adjust to each other's presence..not only physically but "PRESENCE" of each others personality..We have our shares of arguments but I guess its normal in every relationship..I'm seeing his likes and dislikes and vice versa and trying to avoid any situation that willlead to arguments and comprising. So I guess we're good hehe GOod luck and God bless everyone

[~bLairwhich~ 0]

OH MY!

I REMEMBER THE MOVIE "THE MIRROR HAS TO FACES". BARBARA STREISAND CHARACTER TOLD ABOUT FAIRY TALE STORIES, THE HAPPILY EVER AFTER BUT SHE TOLD: THERE ISN'T REALLY A HAPPILY EVER AFTER AT ALL. THAT IS WHY IN FAIRY TALES WE NEVER KNEW WHAT HAPPENED TO PRINCE CHARMING AND CINDRELLA, SNOWHITE, ETC.

BECAUSE EVER AFTER IS ACTUALLY...THE REALITY!!

ADJUSTMENT #1: PHYSICAL "FIT-NESS" LOL. JEEZ, I WENT TO MAKATI MED TO SEE AN OB-GYNE AND SHE THOUGHT I WAS RAPED. LOL.

ADJUSTMENT #2: WEARING RUBBER SHOES...ALL THE TIME! I DON'T KNOW IF THIS IS TRUE TO EVERYONE BUT WELL I HAVE TO COMPLY WITH THIS THING. HE IS NOT A BOSSY TYPE OR TRYING TO BE SUPERIOR, HE JUST DON'T WANT ME TO WEAR SLIPPERS BECAUSE HE SAID IT WILL MAKE ME WALK SLOWER, HURT MY HEELS ETC. WE HAD A DRAMA OUT OF THIS BECAUSE I THOUGHT MY FREEDOM WAS BEING HOLD. BUT IT WAS NOT BAD AFTER ALL. MARRIAGE IS ABOUT TWO PEOPLE COMPROMISING AND NOT CONTESTING. DO THE BEST YOU CAN TO PLEASE YOUR PARTNER...WELL AS LONG AS IT'S NOT IMMORAL.

ADJUSTMENT #3: BEING FAR AWAY--NOW YOU SEE HIM, NOW YOU DON'T. CAN'T BE TOGETHER ALL THE TIME. HE NEEDS TO GO BACK. I NEED TO STAY. IT'S PAINSTAKINGLY WELL...LONELY! SO SKYPE AND YAHOO IS THE GREATEST INVENTION OF IT ALL!!

ADJUSTMENT #4: TO BE A WIFE...HOW IS THAT? FOR SOMEONE NEVER BEEN MARRIED LIKE ME. I HAVE NO CLUE. BUT LIKE LEARNING TO BATHE A BABY IT COMES OUT NATURALLY. I DON'T EVEN NEED TO TRY, JUST BE MYSELF. I TRIED TO COOK BUT IT'S REALLY NOT FOR ME. SO HE COOKS AND I EAT, MOST OF THE TIME WE DINE OUT.

ADJUSTMENT #5: LANGUAGE BARRIER. BOTH SPEAKS ENGLISH BUT STILL SOMETIME MISINTERPRETATION COMES IN. IT HAPPENS VICE VERSA. JUST DON'T SLEEP WITHOUT RESOLVING THE ISSUE OR FOREVER IT WILL LIVE IN HIS/HER MEMORIES. WHEN YOU ARGUE AGAIN, HE WILL REMIND YOU OF THIS AND THAT BUT YOU WERE LIKE "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?".

AHHHH THAT'S ALL I CAN THINK ABOUT RIGHT NOW AND PLEASE PARDON MY CAPS LOCK BECAUSE I HAVE SOME EYE TROUBLE.

Edited August 26, 2008 by blairbitxh

[Completely 3]

OH MY!

I REMEMBER THE MOVIE "THE MIRROR HAS TO FACES". BARBARA STREISAND CHARACTER TOLD ABOUT FAIRY TALE STORIES, THE HAPPILY EVER AFTER BUT SHE TOLD: THERE ISN'T REALLY A HAPPILY EVER AFTER AT ALL. THAT IS WHY IN FAIRY TALES WE NEVER KNEW WHAT HAPPENED TO PRINCE CHARMING AND CINDRELLA, SNOWHITE, ETC.

BECAUSE EVER AFTER IS ACTUALLY...THE REALITY!!

ADJUSTMENT #1: PHYSICAL "FIT-NESS" LOL. JEEZ, I WENT TO MAKATI MED TO SEE AN OB-GYNE AND SHE THOUGHT I WAS RAPED. LOL.

ADJUSTMENT #2: WEARING RUBBER SHOES...ALL THE TIME! I DON'T KNOW IF THIS IS TRUE TO EVERYONE BUT WELL I HAVE TO COMPLY WITH THIS THING. HE IS NOT A BOSSY TYPE OR TRYING TO BE SUPERIOR, HE JUST DON'T WANT ME TO WEAR SLIPPERS BECAUSE HE SAID IT WILL MAKE ME WALK SLOWER, HURT MY HEELS ETC. WE HAD A DRAMA OUT OF THIS BECAUSE I THOUGHT MY FREEDOM WAS BEING HOLD. BUT IT WAS NOT BAD AFTER ALL. MARRIAGE IS ABOUT TWO PEOPLE COMPROMISING AND NOT CONTESTING. DO THE BEST YOU CAN TO PLEASE YOUR PARTNER...WELL AS LONG AS IT'S NOT IMMORAL.

ADJUSTMENT #3: BEING FAR AWAY--NOW YOU SEE HIM, NOW YOU DON'T. CAN'T BE TOGETHER ALL THE TIME. HE NEEDS TO GO BACK. I NEED TO STAY. IT'S PAINSTAKINGLY WELL...LONELY! SO SKYPE AND YAHOO IS THE GREATEST INVENTION OF IT ALL!!

ADJUSTMENT #4: TO BE A WIFE...HOW IS THAT? FOR SOMEONE NEVER BEEN MARRIED LIKE ME. I HAVE NO CLUE. BUT LIKE LEARNING TO BATHE A BABY IT COMES OUT NATURALLY. I DON'T EVEN NEED TO TRY, JUST BE MYSELF. I TRIED TO COOK BUT IT'S REALLY NOT FOR ME. SO HE COOKS AND I EAT, MOST OF THE TIME WE DINE OUT.

ADJUSTMENT #5: LANGUAGE BARRIER. BOTH SPEAKS ENGLISH BUT STILL SOMETIME MISINTERPRETATION COMES IN. IT HAPPENS VICE VERSA. JUST DON'T SLEEP WITHOUT RESOLVING THE ISSUE OR FOREVER IT WILL LIVE IN HIS/HER MEMORIES. WHEN YOU ARGUE AGAIN, HE WILL REMIND YOU OF THIS AND THAT BUT YOU WERE LIKE "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?".

AHHHH THAT'S ALL I CAN THINK ABOUT RIGHT NOW AND PLEASE PARDON MY CAPS LOCK BECAUSE I HAVE SOME EYE TROUBLE.

To all those who replied here.. First Year of Marriage is a period of adjustment.. Lots of communication is needed to make the relationship work.. Compromise is needed as well..

Hope all our marriage will last forever.

[Completely 3]

We are married for 14 months tomorrow. We don't have had any major arguements or misunderstanding for the first 12 months. Our biggest arguements happened like a couple weeks ago, its because of my being stubborn. Hubby don't want the silent treatment so he always make a way for us to be ok right there and then. Overall we are very much happy and blessed to have each other

Andrew and Evelyn

My hubby is the same way.. Sometimes when I am upset I would rather keep quiet than explain my side to him.. Which is not good because the conflicts between the two of us will never be resolved.. But you know its me,, I am not a nagger nor someone that raise voice to explain something..

He told me one day that he would rather made me explode and empty all the feelings I have that made me upset rather than I keep inside because it is not healthy..

I tried to adjust myself not to be sensitive but cares also about his feeling.. and I did.. Sometimes he does things that made me upset before.. now Manhid na ako.. and my defense mechanism now is EWAN SA YO.. (this is just a thing in my head) I realized there is no reason to get mad.. you can ignore things that tolerable sometimes. no sweat, no biggies...

We are married now for 3 years and will soon to have a second baby.. Luckily we are happy, and yes it is hard to work things out sometimes, but it is compromise.. and that is part of marriage..

Edited August 26, 2008 by Completely

[I luv my chappara 0]

we are almost 11 months living together, the 8 months, we are together 24/7

I can say that during those long months together, we knew each other very well including the other side

we've been also in major arguments when we were in our 5th month together, I guess we both miss home that time, miss anything, because nobody around us, me and him only.

After our marriage in civil 3 months ago, he started his job and we're not seeing each other all day. We both miss those time when only me and him 24/7.

Talk and open up what I feel and mad about are what I learned from him.

He learned from me, stay calm and be patient, we both believe everything will work out for us in the name of love.

[chris and lorie 0]

we've been married and living together for 1yr and almost 3 mos now.Mostly of our fights are because of misunderstandings.I always misinterpret what he said and vise versa.Im super sensitive.Before if im mad at him, im giving him a silent treatment.He made me realize that we need to communicate and not to be super sensitive.Americans are frank while filipinas are sensitive, so i guess we have to adjust to make the relationship works

[richo 0]

we've been married and living together for 1yr and almost 3 mos now.Mostly of our fights are because of misunderstandings.I always misinterpret what he said and vise versa.Im super sensitive.Before if im mad at him, im giving him a silent treatment.He made me realize that we need to communicate and not to be super sensitive.Americans are frank while filipinas are sensitive, so i guess we have to adjust to make the relationship works

Very true

[✿Ice Rain✿ 0]

We are more than 1 year married and more than 2 years in a relationship already.

Some of our arguments were from small things, lol. Example not putting in the laundry basket the dirty shirt or not putting in the sink the used glass. Or maybe I am just meticulous that i want always a clean house and i don't like messy. But now am happy, my husband learned already about putting the dirty clothes in its right place.

Yes, talking about the differences and the things you get used to are very important in that way we will understand both each other why we act that/this way.

How are you guys adjusting in the first 6 months to a year of marriage.. What difficulties do you encountered most??

Please share your experience...

[andrew&evelyn 6]

We are more than 1 year married and more than 2 years in a relationship already.

Some of our arguments were from small things, lol. Example not putting in the laundry basket the dirty shirt or not putting in the sink the used glass. Or maybe I am just meticulous that i want always a clean house and i don't like messy. But now am happy, my husband learned already about putting the dirty clothes in its right place.

Yes, talking about the differences and the things you get used to are very important in that way we will understand both each other why we act that/this way.

How are you guys adjusting in the first 6 months to a year of marriage.. What difficulties do you encountered most??

Please share your experience...

Sounds like my husband....doesn't know where to put his dirty clothes