Remarriage

[diadromous mermaid 36]

Finding a new relationship before you have ended the current one is wrong. It doesn't matter if you have slept together or not. This is emotional cheating, and once a cheater always a cheater. Sorry, I just don't have advice for this kind of ####### other than stay out of other peoples marriages.

Hmm. Under normal circumstances I suppose that an individual that engages in another relationship, albeit only an emotional one, could be considered unfaithful to his or her spouse. But, really, does this spouse deserve a faithful wife? If the current spouse is trully abusive, and the alien fears acts of reprisal from her current spouse, and wishes to end this marriage but is concerned about his reaction to her choice to end the marriage, then I see a relationship developing with a member of the opposite sex that has been comforting and supportive to her, as not only understandable but very normal as well.

Could be either or anywhere in between but off topic anyway. The on topic issue is how the new relationship and its timing would impact removal of conditions. Let's leave the personal and moral value judgments out of it.

Yeah, I guess its much better to give advice on how to cheat the system. If she came on good faith then let her go and tell the entire truth. If she gets to stay, fine, if they send her back, fine. But to help her to get around the rules is WRONG.

Well, it's clear you haven't been associated with many victims of abuse. She might have a bonafide marriage...getting access to evidence to support that contention requires a cooperative partner. If her spouse is abusive, what gives you the idea that he would be inclined to cooperate?

[pushbrk 13,133]

Finding a new relationship before you have ended the current one is wrong. It doesn't matter if you have slept together or not. This is emotional cheating, and once a cheater always a cheater. Sorry, I just don't have advice for this kind of ####### other than stay out of other peoples marriages.

Hmm. Under normal circumstances I suppose that an individual that engages in another relationship, albeit only an emotional one, could be considered unfaithful to his or her spouse. But, really, does this spouse deserve a faithful wife? If the current spouse is trully abusive, and the alien fears acts of reprisal from her current spouse, and wishes to end this marriage but is concerned about his reaction to her choice to end the marriage, then I see a relationship developing with a member of the opposite sex that has been comforting and supportive to her, as not only understandable but very normal as well.

Could be either or anywhere in between but off topic anyway. The on topic issue is how the new relationship and its timing would impact removal of conditions. Let's leave the personal and moral value judgments out of it.

Yeah, I guess its much better to give advice on how to cheat the system. If she came on good faith then let her go and tell the entire truth. If she gets to stay, fine, if they send her back, fine. But to help her to get around the rules is WRONG.

I've seen no advice in thread that would help the immigrant cheat the system. I've also seen no evidence she wishes to cheat the system. The OP may want to do so but I see nobody helping him accomplish that. I'm saying that if the desire to marry is currently mutual, there's going to be a fraud issue associated with any recent AOS interview where she has claimed a current bona fide ongoing relationship with her current husband.

You can't have it both ways. We've not heard anything from the woman in question. We've only heard from a man who wants to marry her. I have no information indicating that desire is mutual.

[bhajishah 4]

Thanks diaddie

[Donna A 4]

she is being abused? she is cheating on her husband, who is really the one being abused here? maybe he caught her with her loverboy and thats the reason he went off on her and abused her. i would be highly pissed off too if i caught my husband making plans with another woman for marriege.

if the op would have stayed out of her marriege she wouldnt have someone to fall back on to keep her here....after all she did enter the marriege with good intentions (until she found someone else that is) and she is afraid of being deported...whybe afraid to go back to ur own country? maybe if she really came with good faith she would go back on her own and not worry about being deported. after all she came here for her husband didnt she so it didnt work out...go back. dont go find some new guy to keep u here.

she is classless in the first place for cheating on her husband so what if he said something like he only married her for sex and a servant. thats not abuse compared to what she is doing.

[diadromous mermaid 36]

You are joking, right? You have to be!!!! This is pure insanity........

We can only go by what has been shared. All else is conjecture, but pay attention to these words

During the last eight months, he has shown his true colors by being psychologically abusive, physically a couple of times, has told her that all he wanted was sex and a domestic worker.

Psychologically abusive; Sex slave; Domestic worker

Sounds like the work of a total control freak to me.

"Physically abusive a couple of times..."

How many times does one have to be physically abused in order for it to be considered abuse in your book Donna?

Get real!

And besides, let's say you are right and she took a lover and that is what has the husband so upset...why would the husband want her as a "sex slave" if she were interested in another man? And furthermore, what gives anyone the right to abuse another person even if they have developed feelings for another person?

I worry about your own relationship Donna A, if this is the way you think!

she is being abused? she is cheating on her husband, who is really the one being abused here? maybe he caught her with her loverboy and thats the reason he went off on her and abused her. i would be highly pissed off too if i caught my husband making plans with another woman for marriege.

if the op would have stayed out of her marriege she wouldnt have someone to fall back on to keep her here....after all she did enter the marriege with good intentions (until she found someone else that is) and she is afraid of being deported...whybe afraid to go back to ur own country? maybe if she really came with good faith she would go back on her own and not worry about being deported. after all she came here for her husband didnt she so it didnt work out...go back. dont go find some new guy to keep u here.

she is classless in the first place for cheating on her husband so what if he said something like he only married her for sex and a servant. thats not abuse compared to what she is doing.

[Sprailenes 47]

I can't believe some people justify abuse. There is no justifying abuse.

[morocco4ever 63]

I can't believe some people justify abuse. There is no justifying abuse.

Your right, there is no justification for abuse. Nor is there any justification for infidelity, be it physical or emotional. If she did nothing wrong why is she afraid of what the USCIS will do? The truth, all she needs to say is the truth. Is that such bad advice?

[diadromous mermaid 36]

I can't believe some people justify abuse. There is no justifying abuse.

Your right, there is no justification for abuse. Nor is there any justification for infidelity, be it physical or emotional. If she did nothing wrong why is she afraid of what the USCIS will do? The truth, all she needs to say is the truth. Is that such bad advice?

It's not bad advice to encourage an alien to tell the truth, at all. However, USCIS requires more than "telling"

the truth. USCIS requires that she have the evidence to show the truth. And that evidence must demonstrate to their satisfaction that the marriage was bonafide, and to outweigh any claim the USC husband might make to the contrary. If he is intent on causing her problems, do you think it highly possible that he would thwart her in providing such? Do you think he will readily hand over documentation to prove that?

If she did nothing wrong why is she afraid of what the USCIS will do?

She isn't afraid of what USCIS will do...she is afraid of what her USC husband will do.

We can only go on what has been shared, and accept that as fact. The USC spouse is causing her harm (emotional or physical) and despite whatever reason he claims it is justified, it's NOT!

[morocco4ever 63]

We can only go on what has been shared, and accept that as fact. The USC spouse is causing her harm (emotional or physical) and despite whatever reason he claims it is justified, it's NOT!

Again, as you stated, we can only go on what has been shared. Not just from the OP, but from what the immigrant has told the OP. So the best advise would be to advise her to get out of the house ASAP to a woman's shelter, and for this man to stay out of it. His interference alone is what will make it look fishy. Why would the USCIS believe that she was ever sincere in her marriage if she has already hooked another fish?

What makes it hard is there is so much fraud going on that the USCIS is responsible to determine what was and wasn't a valid marriage. Can you imagine a job like that? And what they see is that immediately after the immigrant receives either the 2 year or 10 year GC then all of a sudden the marriage from heaven has miraculously turned into the marriage from he!!. If there is abuse then the best evidence would be police reports and pictures of abuse. How can they determine real intent when there is nothing to go on? And if she doesn't have this proof then perhaps she should get out now and contact the USCIS and tell them of her dilema. They can best advise her. And if their advise is to go back to her homeland then that is what she should do. A new man in her life is just complicating the situation.

If this woman is truly abused then I really feel sorry for her. Then again if she is just trying to find a way out of her marriage and stay in the states then she should have NEVER involved an innocent man in it.

[diadromous mermaid 36]

We can only go on what has been shared, and accept that as fact. The USC spouse is causing her harm (emotional or physical) and despite whatever reason he claims it is justified, it's NOT!

Again, as you stated, we can only go on what has been shared. Not just from the OP, but from what the immigrant has told the OP. So the best advise would be to advise her to get out of the house ASAP to a woman's shelter, and for this man to stay out of it. His interference alone is what will make it look fishy. Why would the USCIS believe that she was ever sincere in her marriage if she has already hooked another fish?

Where on earth did you get that this(the above advice) is what USCIS has shared with the OP? Talk about a s-t-r-e-t-c-h!!!

[morocco4ever 63]

We can only go on what has been shared, and accept that as fact. The USC spouse is causing her harm (emotional or physical) and despite whatever reason he claims it is justified, it's NOT!

Again, as you stated, we can only go on what has been shared. Not just from the OP, but from what the immigrant has told the OP. So the best advise would be to advise her to get out of the house ASAP to a woman's shelter, and for this man to stay out of it. His interference alone is what will make it look fishy. Why would the USCIS believe that she was ever sincere in her marriage if she has already hooked another fish?

Where on earth did you get that this(the above advice) is what USCIS has shared with the OP? Talk about a s-t-r-e-t-c-h!!!

I don't recall saying anything about what the USCIS has shared with the OP. Perhaps you are referring to my statement about "what the immigrant (as in the woman) has told the OP". I am not talking about the USCIS. We are hearing the 2nd hand story from someone who has only heard 1 side. Last time I checked there are always 2 sides to every story. No stretch to that. How can we judge if we haven't heard all of it?

[diadromous mermaid 36]

We can only go on what has been shared, and accept that as fact. The USC spouse is causing her harm (emotional or physical) and despite whatever reason he claims it is justified, it's NOT!

Again, as you stated, we can only go on what has been shared. Not just from the OP, but from what the immigrant has told the OP. So the best advise would be to advise her to get out of the house ASAP to a woman's shelter, and for this man to stay out of it. His interference alone is what will make it look fishy. Why would the USCIS believe that she was ever sincere in her marriage if she has already hooked another fish?

Where on earth did you get that this(the above advice) is what USCIS has shared with the OP? Talk about a s-t-r-e-t-c-h!!!

I don't recall saying anything about what the USCIS has shared with the OP. Perhaps you are referring to my statement about "what the immigrant (as in the woman) has told the OP". I am not talking about the USCIS. We are hearing the 2nd hand story from someone who has only heard 1 side. Last time I checked there are always 2 sides to every story. No stretch to that. How can we judge if we haven't heard all of it?

My apologies I misread what you wrote.

[Ban Hammer 13,590]

as dr phil said:

if they'll do it with you, they'll do it to you.