Muslims in West Africa

[Zi Zi 0]

I have searched VJ for information, but what I come across about Muslims seems to be mainly about Middle Eastern. My SO is from Senegal which is 90% Muslim. I was born and lived in Nigeria which has a huge Muslim population and I don't have any experience with Muslims from the Middle East.

I am Catholic and at first was not at all concerned about the difference in religion especially since we both agreed that we do not want any children together. ( We each have a grown son from previous relationships.)

I notice when I visit him in Senegal he doesn't seem very religions. When they have calls to pray he never participates or goes to the Mosque. When I go to Mass he attends with me. Members of his family have married Catholics so he had been to Mass before he met me.

The problem is that from conversations that I have had with his family and friends I get the feeling that he is a more devote Muslim when I am not around. I find the Muslims in Senegal to be a lot more laid back than in Nigeria ...so it hard for me to tell with him. This is something that I will discuss in depth with him on my next visit ( hopefully in Oct)

When it comes to religions I don't want us to feel like either one of us has to defer to the other. If they are things that have to been done or can not be compromised on in regards to religion we should put them on the table now.

Anyone out there from West Africa with a Muslim SO who might have had any issues that they have come upon and dealt with ??

Zizi

The Mosque of Plage d'Ouakam, Dakar, Senegal

[Ta Ta 1]

I will summon VJ member Taurean from the MIA forest and see if she will give you some input.

My 2 cents, yes there are a lot of non practicing muslims in general in West Africa. I guess he feels more obliged when around the family.

We are both Christian.

Taureeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaan .............

[pinkfloyd1 0]

I have searched VJ for information, but what I come across about Muslims seems to be mainly about Middle Eastern. My SO is from Senegal which is 90% Muslim. I was born and lived in Nigeria which has a huge Muslim population and I don't have any experience with Muslims from the Middle East.

I am Catholic and at first was not at all concerned about the difference in religion especially since we both agreed that we do not want any children together. ( We each have a grown son from previous relationships.)

I notice when I visit him in Senegal he doesn't seem very religions. When they have calls to pray he never participates or goes to the Mosque. When I go to Mass he attends with me. Members of his family have married Catholics so he had been to Mass before he met me.

The problem is that from conversations that I have had with his family and friends I get the feeling that he is a more devote Muslim when I am not around. I find the Muslims in Senegal to be a lot more laid back than in Nigeria ...so it hard for me to tell with him. This is something that I will discuss in depth with him on my next visit ( hopefully in Oct)

When it comes to religions I don't want us to feel like either one of us has to defer to the other. If they are things that have to been done or can not be compromised on in regards to religion we should put them on the table now.

Anyone out there from West Africa with a Muslim SO who might have had any issues that they have come upon and dealt with ??

Zizi

The Mosque of Plage d'Ouakam, Dakar, Senegal

i i think since he respect your religion and accept it you should do the same it 's not a matter if he's very religious or no the problem is who is he ?as a human ? and how he treat you ? he is Muslim or chris or jewish or spiritual or ....... who care what you need to care for is : are you in love ? are you happy together ? if yes go ahead start your live and don't listen to what people say ...

[ara 0]

Well My husband is from Nigeria and he is Muslim and I am Christian. We talked about this before we were married in detail. No big problems have come about so far not that they won't but we are prepared to compromise on certain things.

I think he would be happy if I converted but he doesn't pressure me I respect his religion deeply and admire it.

I knew this when I was in Nigeria he went to the Mosque all the time there when I was there I just didn't go. He goes to mosque here as well and has been to church a couple of times with me just to see what it was like.

As long as you love and respect each other and your beliefs and communicate it should not be a problem which it is not for us some people feel differently but that is just how we are.

Best Wishes

[Bassi and Zainab 1]

What kind of issues are you thinking of? My husband is a practicing muslim and I am a practicing christian. He comes to church with me and I go to mosque with him. (I don't fast though, I'm too greedy. Oh and a diabetic. )

Edited August 21, 2008 by Bassi and Zainab

[Ta Ta 1]

Ramadan is coming up next month and a lot of fasting going on then.

[Simply_Uno 1]

What kind of issues are you thinking of? My husband is a practicing muslim and I am a practicing christian. He comes to church with me and I go to mosque with him. (I don't fast though, I'm too greedy. Oh and a diabetic. )

[Zi Zi 0]

What kind of issues are you thinking of? My husband is a practicing muslim and I am a practicing christian. He comes to church with me and I go to mosque with him. (I don't fast though, I'm too greedy. Oh and a diabetic. )

I am not really sure....I just feel like there is some issues out there that I am not aware of. My SO has never asked me to to to Mosque and to be honest I wish he would. (I have been before but not with him). When I first met him I made it clear that I would never convert to Islam (not that he asked) And I have no wish for him to become Catholic. I am worried that he might think that I have a problem with him being Muslim so he hides that part of himself from me. I don't have a problem at all.

In his car and on his key chain he keeps a picture of one of his religious leaders. I am a devote Catholic but don't carry a picture of the Pope around. It is little things like that plus what I heard that tells me he his a more devote Muslim then what I see. Yes, if that is the case it really bothers me that he feels that he has to hides that side when I am around. I won't care any more or less for him based on his religion. Like I said before I hope to clear everything up in Oct. but just wanted to see if there was any other issues pertaining to religion that I might be missing that we need to discuss... for example like you stated food and fasting.

[Zee Bee 61]

Different people are going to have different issues. Some with food, clothing, drinking alcohol, talking to members of the opposite sex, etc etc.

I think you need to sit him down and ask him what issues he may have and assure him that you are asking for information and not to start a religious debate. Maybe he thinks that you are not interested in his religion so he has not brought it up and appears to be more nonchalant about it around you. It is also possible that he does not want to do anything to offend you so he is not as vocal about it.

[taurean 0]

I really want to respond to this message, but I am @ work, so what I say will have to keep for later.

Omoba thanks for the call from the forest.....LOL!

[Ta Ta 1]

I really want to respond to this message, but I am @ work, so what I say will have to keep for later.

Omoba thanks for the call from the forest.....LOL!

Always glad to read your input Taurean, miss you around here.

[taurean 0]

Okay I am free!

Since I don't like to deal in generalizations, I will simply write my comments based upon my own experiences. If I were in your shoes (and this is what I did) I would sit down and talk about the expectations regarding how you two will practice your respective religions. Certain questions could be asked, like whether you are going to fast at Ramadan or whether you will recognize certain holidays and if so how will you do it? In my experience these questions were answered in a series of conversations rather than one long talk. Prior to getting married we had talked extensively about our respective faith practices and we both came into the relationship with prior knowledge of the other's faith because he has a whole side of his family that is Christian, and I have people in my life that are Muslim. Plus I just accepted the fact that this conversation will be ongoing because things do change. Once we established the expectations, there has been little internal conflict for me.

Based on what you've written, both of you seem fairly open to understanding each other's faith practices, so it should be easy to start the talk about the expectations on your next visit. Also make it clear that you accept who he is and support what he has to do to follow his faith practice. Make it clear that he should continue to act as he normally would. There is nothing good to come out of him hiding or holding back if you two plan to be married. We have succeeded thus far by being completely open about what we feel or our concerns about the differences. But I think the key is for each SO to accept and encourage the other to be a good practicant.

As far as hanging the pictures of the religious figures in his car (I think you are talking about the "serigne") this is very common in Senegal. Not sure that your SO display of his serigne or teacher speaks to how strict a practicant he is. Only he can answer that. You should probably ask more questions about that particular thing to get some additional insight.

All in all it sounds like you are both very open, which should work in your favor! I felt like I was rambling above, so if you have specific questions let me know!

And I am happy to know that there are other Sub-Saharan couples like us. I really thought I was the only one here...so it's nice to know we are not alone!

[MR AND MRS YAHYA 0]

I have searched VJ for information, but what I come across about Muslims seems to be mainly about Middle Eastern. My SO is from Senegal which is 90% Muslim. I was born and lived in Nigeria which has a huge Muslim population and I don't have any experience with Muslims from the Middle East.

I am Catholic and at first was not at all concerned about the difference in religion especially since we both agreed that we do not want any children together. ( We each have a grown son from previous relationships.)

I notice when I visit him in Senegal he doesn't seem very religions. When they have calls to pray he never participates or goes to the Mosque. When I go to Mass he attends with me. Members of his family have married Catholics so he had been to Mass before he met me.

The problem is that from conversations that I have had with his family and friends I get the feeling that he is a more devote Muslim when I am not around. I find the Muslims in Senegal to be a lot more laid back than in Nigeria ...so it hard for me to tell with him. This is something that I will discuss in depth with him on my next visit ( hopefully in Oct)

When it comes to religions I don't want us to feel like either one of us has to defer to the other. If they are things that have to been done or can not be compromised on in regards to religion we should put them on the table now.

Anyone out there from West Africa with a Muslim SO who might have had any issues that they have come upon and dealt with ??

Zizi

The Mosque of Plage d'Ouakam, Dakar, Senegal

[Bassi and Zainab 1]

What kind of issues are you thinking of? My husband is a practicing muslim and I am a practicing christian. He comes to church with me and I go to mosque with him. (I don't fast though, I'm too greedy. Oh and a diabetic. )

I am not really sure....I just feel like there is some issues out there that I am not aware of. My SO has never asked me to to to Mosque and to be honest I wish he would. (I have been before but not with him). When I first met him I made it clear that I would never convert to Islam (not that he asked) And I have no wish for him to become Catholic. I am worried that he might think that I have a problem with him being Muslim so he hides that part of himself from me. I don't have a problem at all.

In his car and on his key chain he keeps a picture of one of his religious leaders. I am a devote Catholic but don't carry a picture of the Pope around. It is little things like that plus what I heard that tells me he his a more devote Muslim then what I see. Yes, if that is the case it really bothers me that he feels that he has to hides that side when I am around. I won't care any more or less for him based on his religion. Like I said before I hope to clear everything up in Oct. but just wanted to see if there was any other issues pertaining to religion that I might be missing that we need to discuss... for example like you stated food and fasting.

Bassi doesn't really speak about his religion. I don't think it's something that needs to be spoken about in his culture. I mean, like having a special conversation. So, your SO may not be hiding anything. He may just not normally feel a need to speak specifically about religious issues or practices. I spend a lot of time in church. I am very active in my church and my daughter attends a christian school. When something is such an integral part of your life, it's hard not to have your husband also be a part of it. He still doesn't think Jesus is the son of God, but he loves God and that's what matters most to me. I do make an effort to understand his needs, which means understanding his religion. I know that when I'm grocery shopping from next week, I have to have foods in the house that allow him to begin his fast and end his fast for Ramadan. That's something I wouldn't have had to think about before. He'll make special offerings, the way we often do at Easter and Christmas at my church. I have to understand his religion to plan our life around it and incorporate it into our life together. In this case ignorance is not bliss. I also wear head coverings in Ghana out of respect for his family even though they know I am a christian. For Bassi and I, religion is an integral part of our lives, so understanding each others religions is necessary to intertwining our lives. Bassi prays with me over tithes and I help him get together his offering. He prays with me at the altar in church and I pray in the back of the mosque (though sometimes I just play with the babies, but he can't see me anyway ) It's an ongoing discussion. I think you should start talking about it with your SO now. It's not a sit down and talk for 5 hours and everything is fixed kind of thing. It's more like you initiate an open discussion and maintain flexibility to deal with issues as they arise. For us, it's about ongoing communication and adjustment as with EVERYTHING at this point in our marraige.

[MR AND MRS YAHYA 0]

HI, MY FINANCE IS A MUSLIM HE ACTED THE SAME WAY.IT ALSO,CONCERN ME.I TOLD HIM IF HE WAS NOT GOING TO PRAY ,THE WAY HE WAS BEFORE I CAME I WAS GOING TO START BACK EATING PORK.(LOL) HE SAID HE WILL START BACK PRAYING WENT I LEAVE.HE NEED TO GO THROUGH A CLEANING CEREMONY. BECAUSE WE WHERE HAVING SEX.AND WAS NOT MARRIED.