"You'll make new friends"

[Trompe le Monde 1,107]

I've moved about 10 times since college across 3 continents and I've never really found it too challenging to meet people, but I've found it really hard to keep in touch. Skype is a must but getting everyone to join facebook and post all their pictures and what not really helps!

Edited to add: I think RJ does speak the truth. The second verse of More Than A Feeling by Boston has taken on a special poignancy as I've got older.

Edited August 21, 2008 by rkl57

[Laura+Tom 2]

I'm just hoping to start afresh when I get to the States. I only have a couple of close friends who actually live a fair distance from me. I lost touch with many when I left university, got a new job and started seeing Tom. I've really lost the social life I once had as I spent most of my time with him when he was in the UK and now talking to him online now he's in Bahrain.

[catrocks 0]

I was lucky that the ladies and wives from Ben's work made a huge effort to take me out when I first moved here. One of them has become one of my best friends. I don't make good friends easily, I only really have 2 that I keep in touch with - 1 in Belgium and one in Canada, and we keep in touch via facebook and skype.... but I haven't seen either of them since my wedding which was almost a year ago. It's hard but we do the best we can. It's unlikely I'll be able to see them every year though - with limited vacation times here it's all going to go on visiting my family.

Now there's a possibility that we might move to Kansas next year.... and I REALLY don't want to leave my good friends here and make others. I've moved around so much that it's difficult for me to make good friends, as I always know I'll be moving on in a few years.

[Jeraly 4]

Gemmie,

You'll need Vonage! Free calls to the UK and you can set up a virtual local number so that UK people can call you!! I absolutely LOVE it!

Sam Xx

I'll definitely look into that!

What we use right now is a $40 a month calling plan where he can call the UK unlimited (landlines only).. this means we get to talk every night for a few hours and the bill doesn't go up! I think it's AT&T.

We use vonage too but haven't paid for the UK number yet - we are going to when things settle down a bit though.

Meeting up once a year sounds great though - you can all meet in Japan or all meet in Spain or wherever - it can be a holiday for everyone and I bet it would be awesome I'd love to do that but my two best friends hate each other

I think what is also hard is knowing how little time off people get in the US - my dad seems to think that we'll all be going off and playing happy families when he comes to visit but if I am working then that might not be possible

[Koakland 0]

I'd just like to encourage everyone here that is trying to make new friends to keep up at it. It is hard to meet people and make new friends, so I sympathize. I'm concerned about my fiance meeting new friends and adjusting when he moves here. He says that he's not worried about it but I do. I want the transition to be as easy as possible. Keep trying. A lot of my good friends from college have moved all over the world. We see each other often with Birthday trips, holiday trips, email, thefacebook, texting, calling etc.

[ginger1981 0]

Once you start working it is easier too. Probably over 1/3 of my wedding guests were people I knew from work.

It is true we get wrapped up in our lives...I admit I have never been especially good at keeping in touch with my friends.

When you move here check into any Brit/Immigrant meetup groups, or perhaps if you have an interest join a club (for example, I like to run...up here there are groups that get together to go for morning runs).

Just keep working at it! :-)

[Mrs.J06 4]

Life changes. Friends come and go. It's natural.

Well, no offense, but had I lived by this motto, I'd have no one.

I think it's important to keep in touch with "old" friends, even if life changes.

Especially if there are no new ones in sight anywhere...

[StillThePrettiest 3]

I think it's important to keep in touch with "old" friends, even if life changes.

Especially if there are no new ones in sight anywhere...

hear hear

[*julez* 124]

Life changes. Friends come and go. It's natural.

Well, no offense, but had I lived by this motto, I'd have no one.

I think it's important to keep in touch with "old" friends, even if life changes.

Especially if there are no new ones in sight anywhere...

I quite agree. And I'm the USC. I have some friends in my life that I've known since I was a small child and I'd feel terrible if I had to "give them up" because of a life change. My personal experience is that my friends have been there for me through my life changes. Sure you don't keep all the acquaintances you meet along the way, but there are always a few true blues who will be there for you whether you're down the road or across the ocean. That's just how good friends are.

From everything I've read on this site, it seems like it can be a pretty big challenge to make new friends here. Plus, you're experiencing a whole new culture. Just because you've moved to a new country you shouldn't have to give up everything that went along with that former life. I think it makes sense to want to continue "old" friendships. Sure, some will stay in touch more than others, but I still think its worth the effort!

I think its wrong to diminish someone's concerns and anxiety about maintaining friendships and making new friends.

Gemmie, you've been given some good advice for staying in touch with your UK friends. I hope that you'll find some new friends here in the US and can balance the best of both worlds nicely!

Edited August 22, 2008 by *julez*

[StillThePrettiest 3]

*likes julez VERY much*

[*julez* 124]

[Mrs.J06 4]

*likes julez VERY much*

me too!

[Marilyn. 340]

my whole life I have never made friends easily.. I have had 3 best friends my whole life.. each at a different time in my life.. my last best friend I had for like 10 years but we slowly drifted apart.. now my only friend is my hubby which is great and all but sometimes I wish I had a girlfriend that I could call up and talk to and hang out with etc...

[Welshcookie 17]

my whole life I have never made friends easily.. I have had 3 best friends my whole life.. each at a different time in my life.. my last best friend I had for like 10 years but we slowly drifted apart.. now my only friend is my hubby which is great and all but sometimes I wish I had a girlfriend that I could call up and talk to and hang out with etc...

I agree with this...and with RJ actually...my best friend of 25 yrs has gone to India to "find her roots" I guess....since me and hubby moved away from my hometown where we both shared the same friends and lively social life, we pretty much only have each other for company now.....which is great most of the time...we have wild singing parties for two in the garage and dance in the kitchen

But when things aren't so great between us.....I miss a female friend either to commiserate with me over a few bottles of wine or give me a more reasonable perspective on things, friends are good that way.

I think i am too old now to making close friends again.

[bora bora 1]

At my previous job I worked with a lady who has had the same group of friends for over 25 years and she told me that even though they're in different states and countries, they make sure to see each other once a year. They organize a week or weekend each summer and all of them go no matter where they're at.

Diana

I also make a big effort to see my friends from college (my best friends) and we seem to make it work. Because a few of them travel outside the U.S. frequently it makes it harder, but we do the best we can.

You can make it work, maybe not as much as you'd like...but it can be done