Read to throw in the towel?

[CJ Vasani 0]

I do not want to throw in the towel on "us" but the visa stuff. Want to just move there so we can actually be together. As we all know life is short! So, I want to spend it with my husband sooner than later. I know I can't live without him and he can not without me so I want to be with him today not years from now. I need him! I am tired of crying at night and being without him. I love him and I will wait because I have to but it is so hard. I just want him now by my side!

M

Hang in there...I go through the emotional torment every day with Anu. However, we have decided to give this our best by being patient and positive. Even though, it's extremely difficult. I think you'll be fine once your school starts!

[Monica&Isha 0]

I know, actually we all know, exactly what you are saying... I never think about giving up, but there are days when my mind wonders what is gonna happen to us and I feel depressed... Distance is very complicated and I agree that sometimes we miss the person even more when we talk. But we need to hang in there. I always tell my husband: "PLEASE, WAIT FOR ME!" Because I sometimes worry that distance may change our relationship, you know? It is normal to feel like that. But i'm sure when you're busy with other things you will feel better! I am in college and the days I'm attending classes and working on projects or even participating in my church's activities, the time passes quicker and we don't have time to think about the problems. So try to occupy your mind and exercise patience. The reward is going to be worth it!

[siyaram 0]

I do not want to throw in the towel on "us" but the visa stuff. Want to just move there so we can actually be together. As we all know life is short! So, I want to spend it with my husband sooner than later. I know I can't live without him and he can not without me so I want to be with him today not years from now. I need him! I am tired of crying at night and being without him. I love him and I will wait because I have to but it is so hard. I just want him now by my side!

M

I can understand how hard this is. But the fact is both of you love each other. The time is testing your patience and the bond between both of you. Make yourself busy and pray to God that your approval comes soon. He will guide you and your husband through the rest of the process. Make trips to Paki couple of times when you have a break from school. Use rebtel or send vonage to your husband's place so that you both can talk much longer.

[Morning Sunshine 0]

I do not want to throw in the towel on "us" but the visa stuff. Want to just move there so we can actually be together. As we all know life is short! So, I want to spend it with my husband sooner than later. I know I can't live without him and he can not without me so I want to be with him today not years from now. I need him! I am tired of crying at night and being without him. I love him and I will wait because I have to but it is so hard. I just want him now by my side!

M

Hang in there...I go through the emotional torment every day with Anu. However, we have decided to give this our best by being patient and positive. Even though, it's extremely difficult. I think you'll be fine once your school starts!

Thanks for the advice!

[Morning Sunshine 0]

Thanks for all the wonderful advice, I feel better now!

[Kathryn41 3,205]

I can sympathize, and offer you our experience to consider. We were K-1, not K-3 but the processing dates kept getting lengthened and lengthened while we were waiting for our NOA2. After 6 months - watching others get approved around us - and past the latest - and longest processing date - we had a big discussion about whether we would be able to continue. He was beginning to think the long approval time was a sign from the Universe that we were not meant to be. Friends threw an engagement party for us and we attended not even knowing if we would still be a couple the next day. Ironically, the next day - the last business day of the year (we applied the previous June), we received our first level of approval. It was bittersweet because we still didn't know if we were going to stay together. It wasn't a matter of whether there was enough love - it was if there was enough faith that it would all work out. We had to trust that we could do this even while we were afraid that we couldn't.

We got over that hump, mainly because we didn't make any decision about if we could or couldn't make it and once things started moving, the doubts disappeared. That was 4 3/4 years ago now. and I can promise you that when you are together, the time and frustrations of waiting seem to just disappear. Hang in there and don't do anything desperate while you are waiting. If you feel you can't make it after things are moving, then that is a different matter. Right now it is fear and frustration and worry - these are ephemeral and will pass - just remember that they are not stronger than the love you have for each other.

[jamster0105 7]

I do not want to throw in the towel on "us" but the visa stuff. Want to just move there so we can actually be together. As we all know life is short! So, I want to spend it with my husband sooner than later. I know I can't live without him and he can not without me so I want to be with him today not years from now. I need him! I am tired of crying at night and being without him. I love him and I will wait because I have to but it is so hard. I just want him now by my side!

M

Hang in there...I go through the emotional torment every day with Anu. However, we have decided to give this our best by being patient and positive. Even though, it's extremely difficult. I think you'll be fine once your school starts!

Thanks for the advice!

If this helps at all, I had the opportunity to live with my wife in Asia before we seperated on our visa journey. We spent 8 beautiful months together before we decided it was time to embark on our visa journey.

I just returned to the US 10 days ago and we miss each other more than anything. To add to it, we just found out 4 days ago that we are going to have a baby. Yes, my wife is going to have a baby! It makes being away even harder! However, we are both really excited about this and it's giving us something to look forward to, aside from being reunited together here in the US one day. We talk to each other everyday, whether chat or on the phone, we always find time for each other throughout the day. With the baby on the way, it's helping keep my wife busy, aside from all the paperwork we have to prepare.

I guess my point is this: we are all in this together and we all have our own stories of how much we miss our spouses. Remember though, a day will come when we will all be together with our loved ones again. The important thing is communication and keeping busy. Hang in there, you are not alone. That's why they created this website: for people like us who are trying to obtain information and to share experiences while we pass the time. Just have faith and the reward will be priceless

[bhajishah 4]

OH it wont be long til he holding on to your skirt and following you around like a 4 year old.

hang in there.

[CaNdiD wiTcH 0]

I know how hard it is but isn't your spouse worth the wait? I am sure he is! After all the sufferings, it is all worthy to be with the ones we love the most. God Bless..

[confused2 0]

We know exactly how you feel. And I don't think asking yourself if it is worth it is necessarily a bad thing to ask. My answer to myself (and my wife's answer to herself) has always been a resounding YES, it is worth it. This draconian process that we are all put through is a real test of love. It is time that the general public in the US find out what is going on behind the scenes. I have contacted both my congressmen and the press to let them know my feelings. Everyone I speak with thinks the process goes way beyond reasonableness.

[Carlawarla 1]

We know exactly how you feel. And I don't think asking yourself if it is worth it is necessarily a bad thing to ask. My answer to myself (and my wife's answer to herself) has always been a resounding YES, it is worth it. This draconian process that we are all put through is a real test of love. It is time that the general public in the US find out what is going on behind the scenes. I have contacted both my congressmen and the press to let them know my feelings. Everyone I speak with thinks the process goes way beyond reasonableness.

Wonderful post!

To the OP...once your school year starts you'll be busy, and I think that counts for a lot. It's okay to have "bad" days as well. When you just want to curl up and cry. Go for it! It helps sometimes. You'll slug through this like all of us did, and please believe me that when it's all over and he's there with you, it will but seem like a distant memory. I also think your idea of volunteer work is excellent!

[Morning Sunshine 0]

We know exactly how you feel. And I don't think asking yourself if it is worth it is necessarily a bad thing to ask. My answer to myself (and my wife's answer to herself) has always been a resounding YES, it is worth it. This draconian process that we are all put through is a real test of love. It is time that the general public in the US find out what is going on behind the scenes. I have contacted both my congressmen and the press to let them know my feelings. Everyone I speak with thinks the process goes way beyond reasonableness.

Wonderful post!

To the OP...once your school year starts you'll be busy, and I think that counts for a lot. It's okay to have "bad" days as well. When you just want to curl up and cry. Go for it! It helps sometimes. You'll slug through this like all of us did, and please believe me that when it's all over and he's there with you, it will but seem like a distant memory. I also think your idea of volunteer work is excellent!

Thanks everyone! I actually slept on it and feel better today. My husband talked to me on the net today and I felt that he is definitely worth it. There was no doubt ever in my mind that he wasn't worth it! I was just ready to sell my car and pack up and move to Pakistan! I think to go there would help me because we could be together and cope with this as a family. I know it is unrealistic as I have responsibilities here and school and family, etc. I will definitely be purchasing a ticket to go there ASAP though. Please pray for me that I do get to see him before this year is at end! I appreciate your replies!

Edited August 20, 2008 by ~Dream Love~

[Paris' Husband 0]

I feel like just throwing in the towel right now! I mean I feel exhuasted and not sure if I can stay in this for the long haul. This is too hard! How did you all get through this? I feel like just telling my husband I want to stop everything. I actually just started but our anniversary is very soon and we've been married almost a year. We messed up in the beginning so we had to start from the top. I tell you I am losing my mind! I do not know what to do anymore to feel more relaxed about waiting. I am worried because I see others who have been waiting at VSC for months or a year now and I am stuck there. This is really worrying me. I love my husband don't get me wrong but I do not know if I can do this. Should I throw in the towel and move to Pakistan or should I just give up on us all together?

Mahitab

DreamLove,

I feel your pain, but put yourself in my shoes. In January I filed the petitions, and waited and waited, and then had to cancel them, Now Im redy to re-file and play the waiting game AGAIN. Dont give up, it will all work out, I promise, hang in there. Your time will come when you least expect it to happen. Dont throw in the towel, cause if you do, you will regret it, and only cry into the towel you threw.

God Bless, and best of luck.

Paris' Husband & Paris Heart

Edited August 20, 2008 by Paris' Husband

[Morning Sunshine 0]

I feel like just throwing in the towel right now! I mean I feel exhuasted and not sure if I can stay in this for the long haul. This is too hard! How did you all get through this? I feel like just telling my husband I want to stop everything. I actually just started but our anniversary is very soon and we've been married almost a year. We messed up in the beginning so we had to start from the top. I tell you I am losing my mind! I do not know what to do anymore to feel more relaxed about waiting. I am worried because I see others who have been waiting at VSC for months or a year now and I am stuck there. This is really worrying me. I love my husband don't get me wrong but I do not know if I can do this. Should I throw in the towel and move to Pakistan or should I just give up on us all together?

Mahitab

DreamLove,

I feel your pain, but put yourself in my shoes. In January I filed the petitions, and waited and waited, and then had to cancel them, Now Im redy to re-file and play the waiting game AGAIN. Dont give up, it will all work out, I promise, hang in there. Your time will come when you least expect it to happen. Dont throw in the towel, cause if you do, you will regret it, and only cry into the towel you threw.

God Bless, and best of luck.

Paris' Husband & Paris Heart

Yes, I agree. He is worth waiting for we need each other. He's my man! I'm his women! We can't live without each other! I got to wait this out~! :-)

[tammy2688 1]

Do not lose your love to this visa journey. You and your husband will win this together. I know it is hard. I have been waiting 2 years. 1 year of security checks and still no visa. I am telling you I thought to leave many times because I could not see him in misery but we must hang on because the day they come will be most wonderful.

If you truly are committed, you can do it, Insha-Allah.

In the end, Allah knows best.