think i got scammed

[trnysgirl 0]

I don't even think he can use your neighbor as a witness since the guy hasn't seen any evidence of abuse, and if he said he did, he's lying which is illegal. So you can throw that one out. All you have to do is not file for AOS and he's toast. He'll have to go back to Nigeria or stay in the US illegally.

Diana

I think your probably right. Like I said before, i don't even care if he stays. I just don't want him to lie about anything in order to do it. If he scammed me, let him acknowledge it.

[mnieto 2]

There was nothing like emotional abuse, etc. When i mentioned in my first post that i said 'some pretty awful things'.......i was refering to this: he told me that his family would send him the money for his ticket to come home. That got me so mad cuz all this while i have footed the bill for everything. all the filing all the phone calls, all the documents to be sent. EVERYTHING. Even the ticket for him to come. They all knew that I was struggling with it all but nobody offered help. SO i threw in his face the fact that it is real funny how they could do that, but now everyone has money for him to come home. I felt awful after i said it, but in all reality, it was true. I hardly think this could justify emotional abuse.

What you said was not awful, it was the truth. He should have been thankful to have a wife that has taken care of all the expenses. And then he has the guts to turn around and ignore and forget about your generosity and your willingness to take the financial burden?

There's of course always two sides of the story, but , take good care of yourself!

[trnysgirl 0]

The I-864 is the only enforcable support document and you dont file that until you file AOS. You can withdraw support up until the time AOS is approved by doing so in writing. You are otherwise, at this time, not liable for his worthless a$$. I would suggest notifying CIS in writing that you, the petitioner, are not intending to participate in jointly filing AOS due to non-viability of the marriage (referencing his A# which is at the top of the I129F petition notice so that it goes into his A file) then file for divorce yourself based on fault (you can do that even in no-fault states). Lay out the evidence in family court in the initial filing before he does. If he then (unwisely) chooses to file AOS on his own he will be responsible for supporting himself and you are out of it. Family court rule of thumb: first to file generally wins. What happens to him after that is his problem but you won't be held accountable for him.

thank you thank you thank you

[trnysgirl 0]

The night before this incident in which he left....i remember just laying with him thinking I was the luckiest girl in the world. Everything was perfect. What happened the next morning still has me wondering if this is just a bad dream. I used every bit of strength I had to deal with the Visa Journey for almost two years waiting for him to be here with me. Now that this has happened, I don't know how I can possible find anymore strength in me to pick up the pieces. I appreciate any guidance you all are giving me as far as what procedures I should be putting in place right now. Like most of you probably experience....it was very hard to talk to family and friends about my situation of getting his Visa to come here. Most pass judgement.....so you keep it to yourself....So IMAGINE now facing THIS without the help of friends and family. Thanks for being here guys!!!

[BESANGIN 0]

Girlfriend do not fret,

If he only has a conditional green card, go immediately to your local office with a notarized letter indicating that you are revoking your petition, because #1 you believe he entered into the relationship fradulently, and #2 you are divorcing him. I was told to do that when my EX did the same thing, but my misfortune was that his sneaky A$$ had a ten year card and there was nothing I could do at that point. Well I could have, but I would have had to be underhanded like him. Don't let him beat you there to file the VAWA because that is what his A$$ is about to do to stay here. No way in HELL is trying to go back to Nigeria with nothing to show. Mine told me the same thing. He hated it here and wanted to go home, but suddenly his TRIFLIN' A$$ had his own place filled with stuff he stole from me, his own car, and cell phone. SO beat him before he beats you dear. PM me if you need to.

[trnysgirl 0]

Girlfriend do not fret,

If he only has a conditional green card, go immediately to your local office with a notarized letter indicating that you are revoking your petition, because #1 you believe he entered into the relationship fradulently, and #2 you are divorcing him. I was told to do that when my EX did the same thing, but my misfortune was that his sneaky A$$ had a ten year card and there was nothing I could do at that point. Well I could have, but I would have had to be underhanded like him. Don't let him beat you there to file the VAWA because that is what his A$$ is about to do to stay here. No way in HELL is trying to go back to Nigeria with nothing to show. Mine told me the same thing. He hated it here and wanted to go home, but suddenly his TRIFLIN' A$$ had his own place filled with stuff he stole from me, his own car, and cell phone. SO beat him before he beats you dear. PM me if you need to.

Wat is VAWA?? And he doesn't even have a conditional green card. We only got married here two months ago and we have never even filed the AOS because we were waiting to raise the $1000+ to do so. This man has only been here for 3 months. I know I should probably be counting my blessings that it didn't pass two years til he got his GC before he did this, but regardless, I'm just not feeling blessed about anything right now.

[pushbrk 13,069]

It's not like he has to go to court to "prove" anything. There's no telling what USCIS will believe or not believe. If he ends up staying, what skin is it off the OP's nose? There would be no affidavit of support. Instead of worrying about this, why not just get on with life and let his chips fall where they may.

[himher 634]

It's not like he has to go to court to "prove" anything. There's no telling what USCIS will believe or not believe. If he ends up staying, what skin is it off the OP's nose? There would be no affidavit of support. Instead of worrying about this, why not just get on with life and let his chips fall where they may.

The problem with this is that the family courts (wrongfully in my opinion) have been applying the affidavit guidelines to set the equivalent of alimony, especially if the beneficiary proves "fault", which kicks back to my last recommendation. The USC petitioner does need to consider legally showing no fault of her own (in the state, not federal system), and you are correct in who cares what happens to the beneficiary after that?

[pushbrk 13,069]

It's not like he has to go to court to "prove" anything. There's no telling what USCIS will believe or not believe. If he ends up staying, what skin is it off the OP's nose? There would be no affidavit of support. Instead of worrying about this, why not just get on with life and let his chips fall where they may.

The problem with this is that the family courts (wrongfully in my opinion) have been applying the affidavit guidelines to set the equivalent of alimony, especially if the beneficiary proves "fault", which kicks back to my last recommendation. The USC petitioner does need to consider legally showing no fault of her own (in the state, not federal system), and you are correct in who cares what happens to the beneficiary after that?

Let's not get off on tangents. See bold in my post you quoted. From the OP's opening post, "but have not filed AOS yet cuz we didn't have the money", so there is no affidavit of support in the picture for this couple.

[MrsD 0]

Yes he could possibly use him but it would seem to be a very weak attempt to prove abuse. Abuse can however be emotional and mental cruelty

as well as physical. Some have used tape recordings, emails, letters written by an abusive spouse etc.

There is no clear cut yes or no and it is not easy to prove abuse in many cases and it's a long process.

Since you have not filed AOS and are not responsible for him financially, my advice is forget it and move on and let USCIS handle his circumstances

as they unfold and let God determine his destiny.

There was nothing like emotional abuse, etc. When i mentioned in my first post that i said 'some pretty awful things'.......i was refering to this: he told me that his family would send him the money for his ticket to come home. That got me so mad cuz all this while i have footed the bill for everything. all the filing all the phone calls, all the documents to be sent. EVERYTHING. Even the ticket for him to come. They all knew that I was struggling with it all but nobody offered help. SO i threw in his face the fact that it is real funny how they could do that, but now everyone has money for him to come home. I felt awful after i said it, but in all reality, it was true. I hardly think this could justify emotional abuse.

Girl, what were you thinking? I as a woman would NEVER let my man pay for all that, and imagine a man?! Just feels wrong. OMG he is so proud now and leaving because you "think he is worthless". Why wasn't he proud not to take all that money from you? Man like that just make me

[ladybee 0]

He sounds like a slimy little ####### who is using you for his own ends and trying to claim the moral high ground in the process because of how you think he is 'worthless'. Don't fall for that #######! I am so sorry that he has done this to you but please recognize that he is heartlessly using you and so do all you can to get his pathetic ### sent back to Nigeria.

i agree with you linda & dave

[trnysgirl 0]

It's not like he has to go to court to "prove" anything. There's no telling what USCIS will believe or not believe. If he ends up staying, what skin is it off the OP's nose? There would be no affidavit of support. Instead of worrying about this, why not just get on with life and let his chips fall where they may.

Well, I'm not worrying about him staying....I'm worrying about saying I abused him, put him out, etc...just to be able to have a reason to stay. If he stays, fine....just leave me out of it. As for Affidavit of Support, the only one I submitted was with the K-1 application. Is that one still valid??

[diadromous mermaid 36]

It's not like he has to go to court to "prove" anything. There's no telling what USCIS will believe or not believe. If he ends up staying, what skin is it off the OP's nose? There would be no affidavit of support. Instead of worrying about this, why not just get on with life and let his chips fall where they may.

Well, I'm not worrying about him staying....I'm worrying about saying I abused him, put him out, etc...just to be able to have a reason to stay. If he stays, fine....just leave me out of it. As for Affidavit of Support, the only one I submitted was with the K-1 application. Is that one still valid??

It is, but it's not binding.

[idocare 3]

Sounds like your not dealing with no dummy. The fact that he's already started calling around to attorneys may mean he's looking for one that will represent him pro bono. I can relate to your story because it happened in a similiar way to me, but in a much much more nasty way. My ex-husband is from Nigeria and he was granted PR based on a VAWA petition. There wasent any abuse nobody got arrested and I have a clean record so between him & his immigration attorney they were able to secure him PR.

Divorcing him won't do much against a filed VAWA complaint, it will only give them more bullets to throw at you. ( I gave up everything in my country to be with her and she threw me out of the house and divorced me ) You already know that you wanted to stay but he left because he wanted too intended too possibly. ( same situation happened to me ) You can find some good advice by pm-ing either Bensangin or myself, both of us have been where you possibly may find yourself. Don't delay though because sounds like your husband is already preparing for whatever he has in mind.

[angelic 0]

I WILL DEARLY ADVICE U TO CLEAN YOUR RECORD FROM HIM AS SOON AS POSSIBLE " IF WHAT YOU RECOUNTED ON THIS FORUM IS ACRTUALLY accurate"

VAWA- it is called VIOLENCE AGAINST WOMAN/MAN ACT. IT GIVES IMMIGRANT ACCESS TO GREEN CARD BY MEANS OF ABUSE,. the criteria's are no access to means of communication, locked inside the house, physical and mental abuse. you need to inform USCIS as soon as possible, don't say it doesn't really matter if he stays or moves on. A record is a record, you never know what the future might bring in terms of immigration process. i'm talking from experience. it is really sad that immigrants come to U.S. and the devil suddenly put into there minds that they can do whatever they like, they believe they are more smarter, better and wise than the petitioner who labour ceaslessly night and day to bring them here (LIFE IN AMERICA IS QUICK FIX) (NOT KNOWING THAT WHAT YOU SOW YESTERDAY IS EXACTLY WHAT YOU WILL REAP TODAY). they believe the petitioner is too slow and downright backward. in my own case my wife file for vawa thru a lawyer with the help of my father inlaw, yes my "father 'inlaw"". the bogus, satanic lawyer used to live in u.s before settling in nigeria. can you believe he did it for her even though he sleeps and wake up in nigeria. Satan and his cohorts have their network hidden in the system you need to know this . when my wife came in i file for employment authorization and AOS betweem april and june. She got a lawyer thru my so called "father inlaw" who has never stepped on U.S soil before to file another green card application (i-360 form) while i already file for her green card application earlier twice, first for i-130 to get green card right from nigeria and also k3 visa to get green card while living in U.S. can you imagine 3 green cards in process for the same person($1200 of waste that i could have used to buy stocks) (unbelievable, stupidity)just because of love. as the devil would have it, she filed and got her green card (10yrs) ( 2007)faster than the speed light that is how the devil works, he runs faster and shout louder than the God. the one i filed for her thru k3 process was a snail process and got approved and sent April 2008. i know you will ask me how one person will get two green card God way vs devil way vermont vs lee summit missoury chicago. so when all these blind and deaf people run into problem 10, 20 30 years after, we will sympathise not knowing that build their life on wrong foundation and motives. falsehood and deception in the past. there is a way that seems right to man the end thereof is destruction.