think i got scammed

[trnysgirl 0]

Hi guys, I had posted something earlier about my marriage not working out. my husband and I married two months ago but have not filed AOS yet cuz we didn't have the money. We got into an arguement one day and he left. I said some pretty awful things and even told him if he wanted to leave, then fine leave....i even started taking his clothes out of the closet. But ;before he even left the bedroom i was asking him why he was escalating this so far. i begged him not to go, but he left anyways. he went to my neighbors house and told him that i put him out. he even told the man i was hitting on him. the only time i touched him is when i grabbed his body and tried to stop him from leaving. he's much bigger than me so he pushed past me and left anyways. i called him for three days and he would not return my call. he finally called me and told me he was going back to nigeria because i didn't want him here cuz he was worthless. I was like WHAT?? i cried and begged all i kud. I now look online at the phone records and i see that in the last few days he has called legal aide, legal offices and even made calls to other states in which i called the numbers and heard another african voice. one man wrote me in my other post and said that he could try to stay by claiming abuse. PLEASE tell me he'd have to have more than just his word to get over with that one. Would he hve to have proof or what>> any suggestions will be appreciated.

[reeses16 8]

Sorry to hear about your situation. I remember several months ago, one or two VJ members had similar concerns. I will try to see if I can find their posts so you can read them or PM them to see how their situations worked out.

[reeses16 8]

I read you post again. Its is my understanding that a spouse can claim abuse and be allowed to remain in the US if they already have their green card. However, you said you never filed AOS. So I don't think your husband would be able to stay.

[trnysgirl 0]

I read you post again. Its is my understanding that a spouse can claim abuse and be allowed to remain in the US if they already have their green card. However, you said you never filed AOS. So I don't think your husband would be able to stay.

ok, thanks for your input. It is very appreciated.

[Ta Ta 1]

I believe that he can stay without having filed AOS IF he can proof abuse.

Attorneys usually ask for at least one affidavit from a witness or other proof ( photos, medical treatment , witness etc. ) Did he file a police report ?

It is not an easy thing to claim without proof.

[trnysgirl 0]

I believe that he can stay without having filed AOS IF he can proof abuse.

Attorneys usually ask for at least one affidavit from a witness or other proof ( photos, medical treatment , witness etc. ) Did he file a police report ?

It is not an easy thing to claim without proof.

no way...no police report...for what ?? i never abused him. My only fear is that he is telling this neighbor a sob story in order to stay there. Could he use this guy as a witness if the guy never knew anything that happened?? he met the guy outside when he was leaving with his suitcase and told the guy that i put him out. After that i'm sure he said anything to gain sympathy

[Ta Ta 1]

Yes he could possibly use him but it would seem to be a very weak attempt to prove abuse. Abuse can however be emotional and mental cruelty

as well as physical. Some have used tape recordings, emails, letters written by an abusive spouse etc.

There is no clear cut yes or no and it is not easy to prove abuse in many cases and it's a long process.

Since you have not filed AOS and are not responsible for him financially, my advice is forget it and move on and let USCIS handle his circumstances

as they unfold and let God determine his destiny.

[trnysgirl 0]

Yes he could possibly use him but it would seem to be a very weak attempt to prove abuse. Abuse can however be emotional and mental cruelty

as well as physical. Some have used tape recordings, emails, letters written by an abusive spouse etc.

There is no clear cut yes or no and it is not easy to prove abuse in many cases and it's a long process.

Since you have not filed AOS and are not responsible for him financially, my advice is forget it and move on and let USCIS handle his circumstances

as they unfold and let God determine his destiny.

thanks for the advice. I am not the kind of person who is running around saying I want him deported. Honestly, when I fell in love with him, that love was real. And if you truely love someone you would not want them to suffer, so really, if he can stay in the US.....more power to him. My only issue is that if he tries to stay...to what extent of lies is he going to tell to try to stay. ANd that is the only thing that bothers me. I don't want him to drag my name thru the mud with a bunch of lies just for his own purpose. Ya know?? Anyhow....life goes on.

[bhajishah 4]

Nigerian man claiming abuse.???.Good luck on that one PAL!! No he should have been more respectful to his wife. Wife you need to grow up!!

[Linda&Dave 0]

He sounds like a slimy little ####### who is using you for his own ends and trying to claim the moral high ground in the process because of how you think he is 'worthless'. Don't fall for that #######! I am so sorry that he has done this to you but please recognize that he is heartlessly using you and so do all you can to get his pathetic ### sent back to Nigeria.

[trnysgirl 0]

Thanks for the comments guys..keep them coming. All advice and input is appreciated.

[trnysgirl 0]

Yes he could possibly use him but it would seem to be a very weak attempt to prove abuse. Abuse can however be emotional and mental cruelty

as well as physical. Some have used tape recordings, emails, letters written by an abusive spouse etc.

There is no clear cut yes or no and it is not easy to prove abuse in many cases and it's a long process.

Since you have not filed AOS and are not responsible for him financially, my advice is forget it and move on and let USCIS handle his circumstances

as they unfold and let God determine his destiny.

There was nothing like emotional abuse, etc. When i mentioned in my first post that i said 'some pretty awful things'.......i was refering to this: he told me that his family would send him the money for his ticket to come home. That got me so mad cuz all this while i have footed the bill for everything. all the filing all the phone calls, all the documents to be sent. EVERYTHING. Even the ticket for him to come. They all knew that I was struggling with it all but nobody offered help. SO i threw in his face the fact that it is real funny how they could do that, but now everyone has money for him to come home. I felt awful after i said it, but in all reality, it was true. I hardly think this could justify emotional abuse.

[Mononoke28 135]

I don't even think he can use your neighbor as a witness since the guy hasn't seen any evidence of abuse, and if he said he did, he's lying which is illegal. So you can throw that one out. All you have to do is not file for AOS and he's toast. He'll have to go back to Nigeria or stay in the US illegally.

Diana

[trnysgirl 0]

Nigerian man claiming abuse.???.Good luck on that one PAL!! No he should have been more respectful to his wife. Wife you need to grow up!!

Wife grow up??? Can you clarify that please??

[himher 634]

The I-864 is the only enforcable support document and you dont file that until you file AOS. You can withdraw support up until the time AOS is approved by doing so in writing. You are otherwise, at this time, not liable for his worthless a$$. I would suggest notifying CIS in writing that you, the petitioner, are not intending to participate in jointly filing AOS due to non-viability of the marriage (referencing his A# which is at the top of the I129F petition notice so that it goes into his A file) then file for divorce yourself based on fault (you can do that even in no-fault states). Lay out the evidence in family court in the initial filing before he does. If he then (unwisely) chooses to file AOS on his own he will be responsible for supporting himself and you are out of it. Family court rule of thumb: first to file generally wins. What happens to him after that is his problem but you won't be held accountable for him.