Want out of marriage

[SaadBell 0]

I just feel so bad for you, but remember one thing NEVER PAY FOR A MAN, if and when you restart some kind of relationship, make sure the man can support you and himself. He should have gotten your plane tickets, he should have paid for immigration, if you were a woman from the that culture there is no way you would have paid for any of that. That makes my blood just boil, I have nothing against a man who is poor, but maybe if he is that poor he is not ready for marriage. I am just really old fashion in that one thing, a real good man doesn't ask his love of his life to foot the bill for him, if you need that kinda of man, I got a bunch down at the homeless shelter and you don't even have to go over seas to meet these losers, they are right in your own backyard, and they sure will take your money for you. You deserve so much better, dumb that loser and get you someone with at least a JOB. Good luck

[Jenn! 918]

I just feel so bad for you, but remember one thing NEVER PAY FOR A MAN, if and when you restart some kind of relationship, make sure the man can support you and himself. He should have gotten your plane tickets, he should have paid for immigration, if you were a woman from the that culture there is no way you would have paid for any of that. That makes my blood just boil, I have nothing against a man who is poor, but maybe if he is that poor he is not ready for marriage. I am just really old fashion in that one thing, a real good man doesn't ask his love of his life to foot the bill for him, if you need that kinda of man, I got a bunch down at the homeless shelter and you don't even have to go over seas to meet these losers, they are right in your own backyard, and they sure will take your money for you. You deserve so much better, dumb that loser and get you someone with at least a JOB. Good luck

Likewise, then, a man should never support a woman. Double standard, no?

Anyway, it seems her problem was not that he did not have a job, but that he was fooling around on her on the computer.

Edited August 17, 2008 by Jenn!

[Nasturtium 500]

I'm sorry you are going through this. It sounds like pulling the Affadavit of support is the way to go if you still have the chance.

I totally agree. By the way, I believe it's a 5-year financial obligation, not a 10 year... unless the rules have changed since I signed my afadavit of support.

It's neither 5 or 10 years, actually. The fastest an alien can satisfy the Affidavit of Support othe than to naturalise or leave the country is to work full time and contribute sufficient deposits to the SSA. As long as the alien is married to a USC then if the USC works during that time also, the alien can count the work of his her US citizen spouse as well, and in that situation, the 40 quarters of work could be met in 5 years time. However, once divorced the alien must satsify the 40 quarters himself. Therefore it could conceivably take 10 years or much more!

Thanks for that! So is it 40-quarters (full-time) like they just have to pay for 40 quarters or is there a certain ammount of money that needs to be received by SSA? Coule they potentially work enough to satisfy the ammount sooner, or is it both a time and monetary constraint-- such as minimum 40 quarters and X-$$ must be met?

Although...... the number of people who have been held responsible is how many? Zero? Yeah.

Also, he is a HE. What kind of "welfare" can he get? I don't know about where you live, but you can only get welfare here if you're a) Female 2) Female with kids C) Male Widower with kids, no job, and no legs.

That's a slight exaggeration, but there are essentially no ways for a male in Indiana to get any kind of "assistance" unless they are disabled on the job. Ergo, what would you even have to pay back, if the government actually made people pay it back?

I have a friend who was held responsible for over 15k of IRS taxes her husband incurred AFTER their divorce because she was still "responsible" for him. He lied on his taxes and claimed like 6 dependants.

[diadromous mermaid 36]

I'm sorry you are going through this. It sounds like pulling the Affadavit of support is the way to go if you still have the chance.

I totally agree. By the way, I believe it's a 5-year financial obligation, not a 10 year... unless the rules have changed since I signed my afadavit of support.

It's neither 5 or 10 years, actually. The fastest an alien can satisfy the Affidavit of Support othe than to naturalise or leave the country is to work full time and contribute sufficient deposits to the SSA. As long as the alien is married to a USC then if the USC works during that time also, the alien can count the work of his her US citizen spouse as well, and in that situation, the 40 quarters of work could be met in 5 years time. However, once divorced the alien must satsify the 40 quarters himself. Therefore it could conceivably take 10 years or much more!

Thanks for that! So is it 40-quarters (full-time) like they just have to pay for 40 quarters or is there a certain ammount of money that needs to be received by SSA? Coule they potentially work enough to satisfy the ammount sooner, or is it both a time and monetary constraint-- such as minimum 40 quarters and X-$$ must be met?

Although...... the number of people who have been held responsible is how many? Zero? Yeah.

Also, he is a HE. What kind of "welfare" can he get? I don't know about where you live, but you can only get welfare here if you're a) Female 2) Female with kids C) Male Widower with kids, no job, and no legs.

That's a slight exaggeration, but there are essentially no ways for a male in Indiana to get any kind of "assistance" unless they are disabled on the job. Ergo, what would you even have to pay back, if the government actually made people pay it back?

I have a friend who was held responsible for over 15k of IRS taxes her husband incurred AFTER their divorce because she was still "responsible" for him. He lied on his taxes and claimed like 6 dependants.

An alien can only be credited for 4 quarters in any given year, regardless of his or her earnings. 8 if their spouse also works and meets the SSA limits. Each party (in a marriage) must work and pay a minimum level of Social Security taxes. These 40 quarters do not have to be consecutive. Cur­rently, a credit for each three-month period in which they earn at least $900 and pay the required social security tax on it (no under the table work) is calculated. Once 40 credits have accrued and a determination made by SSA, the affidavit of support has been satisfied.

[Nasturtium 500]

An alien can only be credited for 4 quarters in any given year, regardless of his or her earnings. 8 if their spouse also works and meets the SSA limits. Each party (in a marriage) must work and pay a minimum level of Social Security taxes. These 40 quarters do not have to be consecutive. Cur­rently, a credit for each three-month period in which they earn at least $900 and pay the required social security tax on it (no under the table work) is calculated. Once 40 credits have accrued and a determination made by SSA, the affidavit of support has been satisfied.

OK, thanks!

[doodlebugg 10]

I'm so sorry Tammy.

[~*Dorothy*~ 2]

Sorry to hear of your sorrows, Tammy. Hope that you can find a resolution to this unfortunate situation and move on with your life.

Dorothy

[Leyla 0]

Tammy my prayers are with you. I had a friend go through something very similar to this and I understand the feelings you must be having.

I know this is easier said than believed but EVERYTHING happens for a reason. There is some method to the madness. Inshaallah everything will work out for you. I will keep you in my prayers.

[bhajishah 4]

Oh there is way better ways of getting revenge than going after green card. hand his computer over to authorities.....

[Jenn! 918]

Oh there is way better ways of getting revenge than going after green card. hand his computer over to authorities.....

To what end, exactly?

[bhajishah 4]

figure it all on your own.. better served on cold plate though

[bhajishah 4]

something along the line of eye for and eye.... nothing wrong with that end sista. esp for a playa scammer like this. More approp would be 100 whips and minus left nut...cant really do that here though. so better to use the mind heh

[*JG* 2]

No, really it's not revenge, it's self protection. It took everything I had, every penny I had to pay for the immigration, the plane tickets, AOS and supporting him for these 9 months. I have nothing left and live pay check to pay check now. My biggest scare is if I am financially responsible for him for the next ten years. I cannot do that. At this moment I am looking at having to file bankruptcy to recover my losses.

If he could have the green card, which he obviously married me for, I don't care. I didn't marry him for those reasons, so I don't have any guilty feelings.

You say and do whatever you need to do. I can't help but think I would say the same things.

See a lawyer as soon as you can.

[Sprailenes 47]

I don't think getting revenge is any better than what he did to you. Some of the advice here is really childish. He cheated, people do that. You live, you learn. Getting revenge will only make you feel better temporarily. It doesn't heal the wound completely.

Take the legal advice people are giving, don't go and try to ruin his life. He's already ruined with his lying ways.

Always remember that you ARE the bigger person here.

And maybe get in to some counselling too, an event like this can be emotionally traumatizing. I am sorry it happened but work on healing yourself.

[Der Bücherwurm 1]

I would just explain to the immigration authorities that you recently found out he's been cheating on you and that now you think he just used you to get a greencard. But consult with both a divorce and immigration lawyer first.

Edited August 20, 2008 by Hoomsfuturewife