Want out of marriage

[aya*abouelnasr 0]

Okay, some of you know me here, some may not. I have once before posted about the problems in my marriage, then there was some improvment, now, it has gotten even worse.

A few months ago, I became aware of my husband constantly looking into womens profiles on yahoo, to the point that I felt the need to install spyware on my computer. This spyware records everything done on the internet.

In every post he made to women online, he denied being married, and said that he lived with a "friend" and had no family here. This was the same on every forum he belonged to, myspace,facebook,ringo, etc....

The chats he had with women soon turned into cyber sex meetings, mostly with the same woman, on myspace. I found out about this when he accidently left himself logged on.

Of course, I confronted him about it, after I took a hammer to my desk top that he had been doing all of this on. He begged, cried, promised me he would never do it again.

Then, yesterday, while checking the spyware, I was shocked and humiliated once again. There was my husband, and another woman from his myspace, naked on the cam, having cyber sex. They even joked about hoping that I didn't see it.

So, you can understand WHY I want out.

The problem is, he has already received his EAD, and his SS card, and interviewed for the AOS.

What are my options to get out of this marriage, assure myself that he does NOT get his green card, and that I am NOT financially responsible for him for the next 10 years?????

Can any one help, or give me any leads to follow?

Thank You All!!!

PS, forgot to add that I have hard copies of all of this, chats, cam usage, cyber sex, denial of marriage multiple times, etc.....

Edited August 17, 2008 by tammy sue kay

[~PalmTreeGurl~ 154]

Im so sorry that this has happened to you, this is certainly not something you expect or plan for in a marriage. I have no advice bcz I cant even begin to know what to do. You will be in my prayers and I hope if this is all true and he is busted then you leave ASAP! Thats one of two things I wouldnt tolerate... adultery or abuse in any way. . .

[HLM 1]

Im terribly sorry u re going thru this!! i wish i had something better to say but im dumb-founded!! HUGSSSSS

unfortunately i dont know much about this but u can check this forum: http://www.visajourney.com/forums/index.php?showforum=127

[Dr. A ♥ O 203]

Tammy I am so sorry for this. Kick him out of the house first. Second notify an attorney of your decision to divorce submitting the evidence that he is an adulterer and third notify immigration of your intentions to divorce and submit the evidence to them as well.

[PlatyPius 5]

Why is it that when a relationship involving a visa doesn't work out, the USC seems to ALWAYS want to yank the Green Card away from the other person?

Don't get me wrong.... he's obviously a chopf##k and you should probably teach him a lesson with some common household items - like a dull knife, vinegar, drain cleaner, and jumper cables - but why does everyone want to take the green card away? Is it revenge?

[~PalmTreeGurl~ 154]

Why is it that when a relationship involving a visa doesn't work out, the USC seems to ALWAYS want to yank the Green Card away from the other person?

Don't get me wrong.... he's obviously a chopf##k and you should probably teach him a lesson with some common household items - like a dull knife, vinegar, drain cleaner, and jumper cables - but why does everyone want to take the green card away? Is it revenge?

umm bcz maybe the spouse felt USED? maybe?

[aya*abouelnasr 0]

No, really it's not revenge, it's self protection. It took everything I had, every penny I had to pay for the immigration, the plane tickets, AOS and supporting him for these 9 months. I have nothing left and live pay check to pay check now. My biggest scare is if I am financially responsible for him for the next ten years. I cannot do that. At this moment I am looking at having to file bankruptcy to recover my losses.

If he could have the green card, which he obviously married me for, I don't care. I didn't marry him for those reasons, so I don't have any guilty feelings.

[brnidokiegurl 0]

this will open a can of worms on here, i would just go to a lawyer and get the options, you will hear so much on here, get it straight from the lawyer, sorry you were done this way, what is it with these men and the continueing on the computer after here.......

[~PalmTreeGurl~ 154]

this will open a can of worms on here, i would just go to a lawyer and get the options, you will hear so much on here, get it straight from the lawyer, sorry you were done this way, what is it with these men and the continueing on the computer after here.......

ahhh I have an idea.... you can always take the offending parts off... eyes, hands, and main thing...

[diadromous mermaid 36]

No, really it's not revenge, it's self protection. It took everything I had, every penny I had to pay for the immigration, the plane tickets, AOS and supporting him for these 9 months. I have nothing left and live pay check to pay check now. My biggest scare is if I am financially responsible for him for the next ten years. I cannot do that. At this moment I am looking at having to file bankruptcy to recover my losses.

If he could have the green card, which he obviously married me for, I don't care. I didn't marry him for those reasons, so I don't have any guilty feelings.

Regretfully, I agree with Plat on this one. You don't have the privilege of expungin your obligation to the USCIS just because the marriage is not going to sustain. This is a prime example of why it is crucial that couples get to know each other, much better before taking the plunge. If you had spent more time together, signs of his infidelity would have showed.

[pushbrk 13,019]

No, really it's not revenge, it's self protection. It took everything I had, every penny I had to pay for the immigration, the plane tickets, AOS and supporting him for these 9 months. I have nothing left and live pay check to pay check now. My biggest scare is if I am financially responsible for him for the next ten years. I cannot do that. At this moment I am looking at having to file bankruptcy to recover my losses.

If he could have the green card, which he obviously married me for, I don't care. I didn't marry him for those reasons, so I don't have any guilty feelings.

If his green card is approved, it's too late to withdraw your affidavit of support. You don't mention the result of the AOS interview, only that it occured.

[~PalmTreeGurl~ 154]

No, really it's not revenge, it's self protection. It took everything I had, every penny I had to pay for the immigration, the plane tickets, AOS and supporting him for these 9 months. I have nothing left and live pay check to pay check now. My biggest scare is if I am financially responsible for him for the next ten years. I cannot do that. At this moment I am looking at having to file bankruptcy to recover my losses.

If he could have the green card, which he obviously married me for, I don't care. I didn't marry him for those reasons, so I don't have any guilty feelings.

Regretfully, I agree with Plat on this one. You don't have the privilege of expungin your obligation to the USCIS just because the marriage is not going to sustain. This is a prime example of why it is crucial that couples get to know each other, much better before taking the plunge. If you had spent more time together, signs of his infidelity would have showed.

I dont really agree... the fact that having a long distance relationship and then marriage early doesnt mean its going to work or be doomed... and it doesnt prove your statement

[diadromous mermaid 36]

No, really it's not revenge, it's self protection. It took everything I had, every penny I had to pay for the immigration, the plane tickets, AOS and supporting him for these 9 months. I have nothing left and live pay check to pay check now. My biggest scare is if I am financially responsible for him for the next ten years. I cannot do that. At this moment I am looking at having to file bankruptcy to recover my losses.

If he could have the green card, which he obviously married me for, I don't care. I didn't marry him for those reasons, so I don't have any guilty feelings.

Regretfully, I agree with Plat on this one. You don't have the privilege of expungin your obligation to the USCIS just because the marriage is not going to sustain. This is a prime example of why it is crucial that couples get to know each other, much better before taking the plunge. If you had spent more time together, signs of his infidelity would have showed.

I dont really agree... the fact that having a long distance relationship and then marriage early doesnt mean its going to work or be doomed... and it doesnt prove your statement

It doesn't, but having spent more time with another would permit a person to have glimpses of behaviour that is unacceptable. In this case, the OP did rush into the marriage, if her profile reads correctly, in my opinion.

[caybee 21]

NM, afraid of giving bad advice.

Edited August 17, 2008 by caybee

[diadromous mermaid 36]

as well as a statement from you that he moved out of your bedroom two weeks after arriving in the U.S. may be helpful.

Mentioning that, if it's a fact, might compromise her veracityy. After all, she did follow through with the AOS, knowing what she did then.