Any tips for maintaing sanity while in the visa journey process?

[daboyz 36]

Dartboard with the USCIS logo.

[Ling Ling 22]

This community is my therapy.

Knowing that we're not alone in this Visa Journey, has been a HUGE help in maintaining my sanity.

[Morning Sunshine 0]

The process has been nothing short of torture for my fiancee and I. We first submitted an application in December 2007, but it was kicked back in April 2008 for an administrative error (I wasn't so upset that it was kicked back for an admin error, but the fact that USCIS sat on the application for 4 months made me extremely upset). Anyways we resubmitted an application in May 2008, applied & got approved for an expedite (based on national interest/military reasons) and finally got an approval in July.

OK so now our hope has been restored and my fiancee goes to the medical August 14-15. However the X-ray detects an "abnormality" and my fiancee is scheduled for a Sputum test August 20-22 (it takes 3 days). The worst part of this test is that the results won't be known for 8 weeks!!! Now instead of her coming to the USA in September we are looking at November (best case). She just had a chest X-ray in April and it turned out fine, so I am wondering if the X-ray done at St Lukes is a fluke. I asked my fiancee to ask St Lukes to redo the X-ray while there for the sputum test... I don't know if they will but it's worth a shot.

But to answer your question you keep your sanity by loving each other. Unlike other posters I do not feel that these delays are "God's will" or whatever, to me it's just senseless bureaucratic BS (being in the Army I know all about bureaucratic BS). It's infuriating but you have to keep your ultimate goal in mind, which of course is to be together!

Ok, well good luck that you did get approved. Sorry for her X-ray results. Keep us posted on this topic! Also, I worry about that now as my husband is always coming down with ear infections and other ailments. Passing the medical exam may be his downfall. What all do they look into?

Mahitab

[Morning Sunshine 0]

Great advice so far.

Here have been our fortifying factors:

1) SKYPE! I know not everyone has computers/internet/webcams, but there are internet cafes round the world where these things are available. We would be in AWFUL shape right now if we didn't have the chance to see each other at least by video every day. We're expecting a baby in a few months, and the chance to instantly share news with my husband is something I would pay anything in the world for (And I am! Some of my monthly income is sent to my husband to pay for the internet service alone!).

2) Like others said, staying busy. Working, making plans with friends, reading books, learning new languages or skills (my husband is learning German, I'm trying to learn French!), playing sports.

3) Staying connected to those who are supportive and know what it's like to go through this. I'm lucky because my parents (who I'm currently living with) went through the Fiance visa process in the early 80s to get my dad to the US from Guatemala. They went 6 months without even being able to talk on the phone (apparently they had no money). So I know they have my back and they are with me 100%. But if they weren't, I would make sure to seek out those who DO understand. For example: VJ! Live on here if you have to, you will find that anything you're going through, dozens of others have been there, and it helps so much just knowing you're not alone! Try to find friends who are supportive and willing to hear you vent about slow processing times, false RFEs, messed up automated systems, etc. Again, if not in your daily life, then on here. Between this forum and immigrate2us.net, I have found the support I need to help me stay afloat.

This process is brutal, but you can do it! We're here for ya!

Thanks that is very kind for you to tell us! Glad that you actually have your case completed! Congrats!

[Morning Sunshine 0]

Our survival plan includes;

*working long hours and extra jobs (the money will come in handy when we file the affidavit of support)

*text or call every day or so (the phone lines are very bad in our town so we can't always get through, but texting usually works)

*send letters and packages to each other

*send messages and gifts via friends who have internet or are traveling between both countries

*I'm going back to language classes to improve my Russian language skills

*he's working on his English language skills

*send each other photos via internet

*he's slowly cleaning out our apt and getting things ready/packed for the move to US

*I'm slowly buying things we'll need to live together over here

*go to church a lot

*drink a lot

Well I will definitely pray, study, work and occupy my mind as much as possible. I will also go to the mosque as much as I can! Thanks for the advice. Watching photos and our wedding video helps! Some!

[Morning Sunshine 0]

Dartboard with the USCIS logo.

Where can I obtain one?

[Imua 0]

Dartboard with the USCIS logo.

Where can I obtain one?

DIY: Print out the logo from USCIS website, enlarge it on copy machine, tape or glue it to standard dartboard, et voila!!!

[sasha414 0]

Dartboard with the USCIS logo.

Where can I obtain one?

DIY: Print out the logo from USCIS website, enlarge it on copy machine, tape or glue it to standard dartboard, et voila!!!

hey thats a great idea!

[msnoob 3]

My advice would be to first set realistic expectations. Sometimes you come on the forum and you see people who get approvals in less than 60 sometimes less than 30 days. This is almost like going on a diet and looking at people who lost 100 lbs in 2 months. These are not the "typical" results. I checked VSC processing dates and I saw in July, they were processing petitions as of January 17th. My petition was filed in March so realistically, September is the earliest I should start "looking" for an approval. I have no thoughts that anything will come before then. That way, i'm not let down when nothing happens on my petition. I think the wait is much worse when you set yourself up for a quick approval and it doesn't happen.

The other suggestions about communications and work are helpful too. I have a house with three floors and I've been doing major cleaning every weekend. I'm down to just the basement and the garage!!! That definitely helped.

Just know that the time apart has an expiry date and soon you will be together again. Reading posts on VJ is very helpful.

Good Luck with your journey!!

[Imua 0]

I still go crazy sometimes especially when I see those 30 day approvals from CSC but what is keeping me halfway sane is my eBay business - if you can find a cheap way to ship handicrafts, clothing, Islamic items, some specialty 'niche' things from Pakistan which might be hard to find in the US then get your hubby to ship them and you set up an eBay store - this is another thing you can do together and save money for visa fees and your future life together - also when you go visit him bring an extra bag and max out your baggage allowance...

ETA: I recently bought a salwar kameez on eBay with what the seller called 'Karachi handwork' - very airy, lacy stitching with seed beads and little mirrors. If this work is typically Pakistani then I would bring back a whole duffel bag full of it - it is unique and absolutely gorgeous.

Edited August 21, 2008 by Pattu Rani

[nowhereman 1]

I don't believe the 30 day approvals are legit... I got an approved expedite at the Vermont Service Center (which is statistically the fastest service center) and the approval took 44 days. Expedites are rare and without one I simply don't see any chance at all of someone getting a 30 day approval. You are lucky if they even open your freaking file within 30 days!

[Tunisia216 2]

The time lines are really different for everyone... no rhyme or reason always, but just have to wish the best for those waiting and say awesome and congrats for those who got their approvals fast

[sara..... 371]

perviz and i have been together for three years ........waiting for noa2 for over one year......he lives in kashmir (india side)

sometimes it is very dangerous there as well........and because of the problems in kashmir he can not get to a net club very often and works at a remote hospital...and a clinic when he is not at the hospital...so our time together is very precious to us.........we have gone thru melt downs but they dont last.....family emotional support is wonderful i have that in abundance but some dont so...the best thing i say to u.....pray.....keep busy.......take one day at a time.........the vj family is a very good resource.....because everyone is either going thru or has gone thru it so they know what ur feeling.......the frustrations are many but the love does not die......phone calls are a lot of the times all we have and we make them most of them........u learn to appreciate each other a lot more thru this process......and we found that if one of us is having a bad day the other needs to be supportive..........try to think of little things that will make ur s/o feel so loved and special to u during this time that ur apart........i hope ur journey is swift and no problems for u but one thing that everyone tells me

never give up never!!!!

Sara

Edited September 1, 2008 by estadia

[sara..... 371]

Dartboard with the USCIS logo.

i wanna punching bag with CSC on it

[jundp 191]

To the OP:

There has been some great advice given on here already. One thing to remember (as many have said) is that there will be an end to the separation. It may not be as soon as you'd like, but it will happen.

Find ways to stay close to each other. Read the same book at the same time or watch the same movie and discuss it when you next talk. Plan a specific time each day (or once a week if you can't talk daily) to speak on the phone or online. Send each other packages or cards if possible.

You do have the added worry of being from a country that isn't as stable as say, Germany, but there is a fabulous community of people here who can help you.

I wish you both luck!