CALLING ALL GOING THOUGH ISLAMABAD PAKISTAN- OFF TOPIC

[hafiz 1]

she doesnt want to work, i already asked her, just finish school i guess. Cause put in so muh time and effort. Another 5 months wont hurt.

where is your timeline, and where are you in the process

[PSoft 0]

psoft i have a BS in Information Systems, got my degree back in 2004. I have like 3 years of experience, mostly in networking and support.

I was looking to start my MS in either IS or Accounting. LOL people overseas have this obsession with degrees, personally i could care less.

I have this friend who recently finished training in SAP, and got a contract job for a few months. So i am thinking of going through the same route. SAP pays good bucks, i know its not easy, But its worht it.

Instead of doing masters I would rather say e.mail your resume to D&T and E&Y. they always looking for Consultants specially those who willing to work across United States. SAP training is very costly if you are planning to do it of your own. It is always recommended to get the training from company’s expenses.

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I got following e.mail from embassy today.

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This applicant’s response to our packet 3.5 received on May 15, 2006, and awaits review. As soon as it is done we will contact the applicant. Please check back with us after about ten days.

[babybunny 2]

SHON: My wife is still in school until december 2006, and i am done with this school for now. I want to get that k3 visa as soon as possible. i dont care if she cant finish school, forget this school. Its not like she will be working.

What if she wants to finish school and wants to work?

how can you say YOU DONT CARE if she finish school? thats pretty crappy Idea!

if my husband ever said that - he would get a full swift kick in his azz!!

she is close to graduation- you want her toss it in the wind. you have a real messed up mentality

dont want your wife to work or reach her goals. Ufff

SU Gente!!!

[PSoft 0]

SHON: My wife is still in school until december 2006, and i am done with this school for now. I want to get that k3 visa as soon as possible. i dont care if she cant finish school, forget this school. Its not like she will be working.

What if she wants to finish school and wants to work?

how can you say YOU DONT CARE if she finish school? thats pretty crappy Idea!

if my husband ever said that - he would get a full swift kick in his azz!!

she is close to graduation- you want her toss it in the wind. you have a real messed up mentality

dont want your wife to work or reach her goals. Ufff

SU Gente!!!

Shon,

You always have to remember that there is huge culture difference between your and Hafiz. We (Pakistani, South East Asia decents) are from male dominating society where ‘Men’ are responsible to bring bread and butter home not ‘Women’ that is the reason we pay more attention over’ Men’ Education/carrier rather woman. In our society Ladies first responsibility is to take care of home and raise kids.

I know it sounds awkward to you but it is reality. We love to pampered our wives.

[hafiz 1]

yep, i am sending my wife some big $$$ to spend this month. PSOFT, i think an agency that like trains you and then sends you out to do project is something that i am looking for.

[babybunny 2]

SHON: My wife is still in school until december 2006, and i am done with this school for now. I want to get that k3 visa as soon as possible. i dont care if she cant finish school, forget this school. Its not like she will be working.

What if she wants to finish school and wants to work?

how can you say YOU DONT CARE if she finish school? thats pretty crappy Idea!

if my husband ever said that - he would get a full swift kick in his azz!!

she is close to graduation- you want her toss it in the wind. you have a real messed up mentality

dont want your wife to work or reach her goals. Ufff

SU Gente!!!

Shon,

You always have to remember that there is huge culture difference between your and Hafiz. We (Pakistani, South East Asia decents) are from male dominating society where ‘Men’ are responsible to bring bread and butter home not ‘Women’ that is the reason we pay more attention over’ Men’ Education/carrier rather woman. In our society Ladies first responsibility is to take care of home and raise kids.

I know it sounds awkward to you but it is reality. We love to pampered our wives.

what hell that mean? my husband is less of a man because, he support me going to school

and working a career? you think he dont want to pamper me? you think having a job

makes me less of a woman? you think I would not want the best things for my husband and kids?

[babybunny 2]

I talked to my congressman. She said she is still waiting a response from DOS. I dont know

why they are talking forever to respond but, so she told me to call next friday. I hope by then

we get some movement on the case. its now 57 days since this last dayum security check.

[PSoft 0]

I knew that you pissed off. Why you always take everything on your heart. It is between you and your husband what you guys decide about your life. I am talking as whole nation not any individual. In your short visit to Pakistan you didn’t realize that there is very low percentage of female workforce in Pakistan. It is our culture as well our religious values that we don’t like that our mother/sister/wife works if there is no financial desires (period). But these things are not imposed on every single person. If husband and wife mutually agree then there is no harm in it to let the wife works.

Long story short I don’t like my wife will work even though she has a master’s degree as well one-year diploma from London. I know that you can’t understand my point because I told you earlier that there is huge gap between our cultures, Please do not take it wrong (I am not talking about African American culture) it is American and South East Asian culture.

[Nizzy 1]

I knew that you pissed off. Why you always take everything on your heart. It is between you and your husband what you guys decide about your life. I am talking as whole nation not any individual. In your short visit to Pakistan you didn’t realize that there is very low percentage of female workforce in Pakistan. It is our culture as well our religious values that we don’t like that our mother/sister/wife works if there is no financial desires (period). But these things are not imposed on every single person. If husband and wife mutually agree then there is no harm in it to let the wife works.

Long story short I don’t like my wife will work even though she has a master’s degree as well one-year diploma from London. I know that you can’t understand my point because I told you earlier that there is huge gap between our cultures, Please do not take it wrong (I am not talking about African American culture) it is American and South East Asian culture.

I like your explanation...but what you said before about it being culture still doesnt make it okay...but I totally get that in Pakistan that is the mentality. Sorry to get all nose but would you be angry if your wife expressed the desire to work?

[babybunny 2]

I knew that you pissed off. Why you always take everything on your heart. It is between you and your husband what you guys decide about your life. I am talking as whole nation not any individual. In your short visit to Pakistan you didn’t realize that there is very low percentage of female workforce in Pakistan. It is our culture as well our religious values that we don’t like that our mother/sister/wife works if there is no financial desires (period). But these things are not imposed on every single person. If husband and wife mutually agree then there is no harm in it to let the wife works.

Long story short I don’t like my wife will work even though she has a master’s degree as well one-year diploma from London. I know that you can’t understand my point because I told you earlier that there is huge gap between our cultures, Please do not take it wrong (I am not talking about African American culture) it is American and South East Asian culture.

Thank God Javed dont have a "one -sided" mentality. I have things laid out for my husband

and for our kids. I have already put money aside for our home. I think that is a good thing

because, when it comes down to it we both will be contributing to the family and to our marriage.

My husband in the even he needs to be away for an extended amount of time or heaven forbid he experiance a heart attack. he can say Hey my wife can handle the accounts, she can do what it takes to make the household run smooth.

Edited June 1, 2006 by shonjaved

[PSoft 0]

yep, i am sending my wife some big $$$ to spend this month. PSOFT, i think an agency that like trains you and then sends you out to do project is something that i am looking for.

Indian does like this. They make small companies and then train folks and place them on projects if I found something in Chicago I will let you know. But try to post your resume on Monster, simplyhired.com & Dice. Try to get in SOX (IT Audit) it is very hot these days. You can make big $$$ in this field if seriously pursue it as career. My expertise is in IT security been doing PeopleSoft security for almost 8 years and now in SAP security.

Edited June 1, 2006 by PSoft

[babybunny 2]

I lived in the UK or 10 years. while there I could not work. The US goverment gave me $$$

so that way I did not have to. Plus they gave us 2 cars and a house. I went crazy- being home, not making real friends. not having my own money. to me that money goverment was giving me was not mine. it was the house holds. I finally decided to work under the table making really good money at a resort. I had the best time. I surprised my husband at the time with a weekend at this country club. all expense paid. this is the kind of reward that can be experianced and enjoyed togeather.

[hafiz 1]

lol, sorry if it got hot in here, but its ok. I dont care.

IT security is in demand too.

[PSoft 0]

I like your explanation...but what you said before about it being culture still doesnt make it okay...but I totally get that in Pakistan that is the mentality. Sorry to get all nose but would you be angry if your wife expressed the desire to work?

Nizzy,

I know my wife very well she has no desire to work.

Allah (SWT) lifted from women the obligation of working to provide and support themselves and their families. He made this obligation particular for men alone. Allah (SWT) commanded men to be responsible for the care of women during all stages of their life.

While she is a child, she is under the care of her father. This responsibility is not lifted except by her marriage or (his/her) death, nor does it cease after she reaches a certain age as occurs according to the laws in many nations.

After she marries, the responsibility falls on her husband so long as she is under his care due to the contract of marriage.

If she has neither father nor husband, the responsibility of her care falls on her brother who assumes the role of her father when he is not present; and if she has no brother then whoever is her closest male relative from whom she would inherit and whom would inherit from her (would assume the role of her father).

If she has no male relative, the obligation falls upon the Muslim community. The responsibility of her care is a communal obligation and if none fulfills that duty, all have sinned.

Furthermore even if she is wealthy, Islam has dropped from her the obligation of assuming care of anyone. With the presence of her husband (or for that matter her parents), it is not required that she spend upon her children unless she seeks to do such as an act of righteousness, kindness and maintaining ties of the womb. She is not obligated to work in order to take care of herself or her children.

This lifting of the obligation of working for the purpose of providing for herself was in order to preserve her from being degraded, as many jobs that are sought to gain livelihood entail humiliation and hardship. Likewise this responsibility was lifted to preserve her from temptation and mixing with men and because this is from the specialization that Allah (SWT) has made as a law for His creation.

If a woman were charged to work in order to provide for her livelihood in addition to her natural duties of pregnancy, child birth, and breast feeding this would be an obligation above what she could bear and would be an injustice to women. Otherwise this work would be at the expense of her natural duties of pregnancy, birth, breast feeding and raising her children. This is exactly what has occurred with all nations that have deviated from what Allah (SWT) has made a natural state among His creation.

In these non-Muslim societies, men are pleased with this situation as this gains for them greater gratification with women and drops from them a considerable amount of the responsibility of working and supporting their women and children. This is obviously a selfish attitude on the part of men. Sadly many women are pleased with this situation of combining working outside the house to support themselves, and their natural duties of pregnancy, child birth, and breast feeding.

We may ask, what is the economic, moral, or social value for women working in factories, armies, cleaning streets and airports, repairing trains, cleaning public restrooms, as security guards, driving taxis, and all other occupations?

This is all from the wretched life that Allah (SWT) has warned whoever distances himself from His way. Allah (SWT) has said:

"But whosoever turns away from My Reminder (neither believes in this Quran nor acts on its orders, etc.) verily, for him is a life of hardship, and We shall raise him up blind on the Day of Resurrection. He shall say: "O my Lord! Why have you raised me up blind, while I had sight (before)." (Allah) will say: "Like this, Our Ayat (proofs, evidences, verses, leassons, signs, revelations, etc.) came unto you, but you disregarded them (i.e. you left them, did not think deeply in them, and you turned away from them), and so this Day, you will be neglected (in the Hellfire, away from Allah's Mercy)." (Ta-Ha 20:124-126)

Although Islam has not obligated a woman to work to seek a living and has appointed someone to be responsible for her during all the stages of her life, Islamic law has given her the right (so long as she has reached the age of maturity and is competent) to own and dispose of her properties without any guardianship over her (whether that be her father, husband or anyone else).

She has the right to own all forms of property, to buy and sell, give gifts and charity, and all forms of expenditure (without wastefulness) so long as it is her wealth and her acquisition. However if she if incompetent, Islam does not distinguish between men and women in declaring someone legally incompetent. Islam gave women the right to own and dispose property, so that by this she could be a full legal personality possessing the full right to administer her wealth. Islam provides her with specific sources to acquire wealth, like the dower, inheritance, gifts, and all other lawful means for acquiring wealth.

As a woman in Islamic law is not required to maintain herself or others, she was given half of what men receive in inheritance in view of the fact that she is not responsible for the maintenance of anyone and to replenish men's wealth who alone are responsible to work and provide maintenance.

In this matter, Islam opposed the un-Islamic practice that forbade women to inherit under any circumstance because they did not maintain anyone or fight against any enemy. Allah (SWT) sent down in His Glorious Quran: "There is a share for men and a share for women from what is left by parents and those nearest related, whether, the property be small or large - a legal share." (An-Nisa 4:7)

Without doubt those who claim that Islam is unjust towards women because it gives them half of what men receive in inheritance are ignorant of the distribution of rights and obligation in the pure, just Islamic law. Allah (SWT) says: "Do they then seek the judgement of (the Days of) Ignorance? And who is better in judgement than Allah for a people who have firm Faith." (Al-Ma'idah 5:50)

ShonJaveed, if you accepted Islam as faith then I think it is time to read at least the core objects of Islam.

lol, sorry if it got hot in here, but its ok. I dont care.

IT security is in demand too.

You are right IT Security is hot too. Both security & audit are link to each other. The only difference between them is IT requires real technical knowledge however Audit is total functional that is the main reason you will find ninety percent Caucasian in this field because they have superb presentation and perception skills.

[dlg 0]

I knew that you pissed off. Why you always take everything on your heart. It is between you and your husband what you guys decide about your life. I am talking as whole nation not any individual. In your short visit to Pakistan you didn’t realize that there is very low percentage of female workforce in Pakistan. It is our culture as well our religious values that we don’t like that our mother/sister/wife works if there is no financial desires (period). But these things are not imposed on every single person. If husband and wife mutually agree then there is no harm in it to let the wife works.

Long story short I don’t like my wife will work even though she has a master’s degree as well one-year diploma from London. I know that you can’t understand my point because I told you earlier that there is huge gap between our cultures, Please do not take it wrong (I am not talking about African American culture) it is American and South East Asian culture.

I have lived in and spent a great deal of time in South-east Asian cultures, both Muslim and Hindu and I can say that there are MANY educated women of both religions that ENJOY the chance to get an education, work and STILL be GREAT mothers and wives. In fact, I just stayed with a wonderful family in Pindi where the woman works because she WANTS to. She and her husband have a wonderful relationship, both have very strong careers and have raised two fantastic children, young man and woman both. I have to say the opportunitites available to both the mother and her daughter are IMMENSELY greater given their education than they would have without that. That is not just in the "working world", but also in the social, psycological and emotional realms as well. I understand that you and your wife may make the decision that she doesn't continue school or work, but I would encourage you to allow her to if she WANTS to. And I would also encourage you to ASK her. I realize this may not be how you were raised, but as far as I understand Islam (I was not raised with it), you are to respect your wife and mother deeply. What greater respect than to ASK your wife what her wishes are AND with loving support, help her met them?? I personally could not imagine a greater showing of love from my partner than having him ASK me what I want and SUPPORT me in reaching my goals - whatever they are.

Just my two cents worth. I hope I have not offended you.

My SO and I are filing for a K1 visa. We are learning from all of you along the way - thank you for sharing your experiences! It is helping us both tremendously. Without this site, our stress of being apart and trying to negotiate the system would be nearly unbearable I think.

Here's a cheer for cultural differences and open-mindedness!