CALLING ALL GOING THOUGH ISLAMABAD PAKISTAN- OFF TOPIC

[babybunny 2]

I have been really depressed ever since friday. not resting like I should, unable to concentrate on things. it was a sharp blow to be told 4 security checks. for the life of me I cant figure why we clear on wed and back to the DOS on friday in 2 days. I cant explain it to javed. I am sure they are making us wait til we been married 2 years - that why they did this.

In my opinion it would be great if you just relocate to Pakistan for some time.

I cant .. I have a career, responsibilys and my schooling..

I dont have family here.

[PSoft 0]

I cant .. I have a career, responsibilys and my schooling..

I dont have family here.

I can understand your point of view but in life at certain point we have to priorities things. Rather living a depressing life alone here just windup studies, job and everything for a while (short term) and try to spend some colorful, loving stress free months with your husband in his native country I am sure it would be a great experience.

[Omid 0]

This process is literally going to make me lose my mind!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

I called DOS just to see if the FP results were in - I already know the case is pending at the embassy now... DOS said no nothing yet... so I called the FBI # and asked if prints submitted in mid-April would be done by now, she said yes, asked for my fiance's name and then told me there's NOTHING in the system for him - it hasn't even been rec'd yet!??!?!? WTH is going on???? She told me that it goes to NVC, then to them so I should call NVC - I tried that but it keeps kicking me out of the system telling me the operators are busy... OMG this just can't be true, that would mean another 10-12 wks AFTER it gets to the FBI, whenever that happens!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm seriously going to lose my mind!!!!!!!!!!

[hafiz 1]

well AP/AR is no fun. thats for sure. Pain in the ###

[RobertAndrews 0]

I dont know what hell they looking for but, whatever it is .. they dont seem to understand it dont Exist. geez

I dont see how the dayum case is clear in ISL and now the dayum thing did a U turn -back to the DOS. .dayum unbelivable.

you know I can deal with the security checks 1001 times.

I am worried about javeds mentality right now. he needs support too.

all he get is bullchit talking from the people around him. let me ask this..

to the Men waiting in PK.. how do you cope when people say stupid things to you about your case? I think I willl have Javed post on here too.

Irrespective of who I am, or where I jumped in the middle from...

All I have to say in this case is just that: a/ Pakistan is a third-world country, therefore treated accordingly.

Had javed been in London, or some nice place else, dont think would have triggered this much security

checks. b/ It just strengthens your belief more and more on the fact, that there is a power beyond, WHO

controls everything. It strengthens your belief in Allah, and that nothing moves in this Universe without

HIS commands. So, althought that you both are trying the worldly way, you just might want to increase

your prayers alongwith trying to stay away from common sins. That should help a lot. Stay put, keep

praying. c/ When its the proper time, nothing can stop javed from being in US, until its that time, no matter

what you folks do, and no matter what the US depts do, he will never reach there. d/ Similar to this is the

fact that a person's rizq (whatever he/she gets money/food etc) is written and sealed before he/she even

comes into the world, along the same lines is written the location as well. Even where you are supposed to

die is written as well. We have had numerous articles in Islamic history explaining this fact. So, try and

relax, be with each other as much as you can. e/ A wife's place is with her husband, besides him. Although

that I can understand with your post that you have responsibilities, but if javed is earning (which I have

no idea of) and probably if you can come and settle here in PK (as suggested earlier as well), maybe just

maybe, you too might be able to take care of, or come up with some arrangements to take care of the

responsibilities from here. If not, well... I know how difficult it can be, and it is... At times can almost take

you to the end of a relationship, because whats the point of getting married, if you cant live together?

There are so many factors, including those of being together, close and all, and a person, especially guys

tend to find it difficult, its natural for them to start looking at alternatives, which is why the marriage, and

having a wife and all, and if not, well things get tricky and emotional and sad and frustrating and what not.

Guess you might have an idea already. f/ How to deal with it? Well if its me, I'd say what the heck? PK is

still so much better than US in so many terms. True, we dont have security in our own homeland, this that

yada yada, but it still is home. Still so much better. I had only applied, because it's my wife's wish. She

wants me to have a look there, stay there for a while. Either way, she doesnt have issues with staying

here, infact she loves to, so guess what, figured give it a try, works fine... Alhamdulillah, doesnt work ?

Even more better, Alhamdulillah, I call her back, and we settle here... Well, actually whatever works best,

have always prayed, that be chosen, since we dont know, and Allah Ta'aala knows all. So, whatever is

best for us, whereever for this world, for our religion, for our Eeman, for our deaths, and for our Heavenly

abode (Aakhirat), we have always prayed for that, and it keeps it relaxed and sane throughout.

Alhamdulillah...

So, all in all, it depends, you two got to find middle grounds, if it has taken so long. From the looks of it

you might have to sacrifice a little in trying to settle here, or if not, maybe if you are earning enough,

probably something that you can either visit more often, or stay here few months of the year, then

back, whatever works for you... Something... Just dont make this immigration thing a matter of life and

death, as it isnt. Keep in mind, everything happens at its own pre-determined time, and not before that,

no matter what you do. That might help you relax further.

Thats from the top of my mind what I could think of, in response to the above. Hope it'll help.

Take care you two...

[bhajishah 4]

Salaams,

Hang tough sisters in AR

((hugs))

ALLAH HAFIZ

Love

cindi and Max

[babybunny 2]

THank you Robert for finally postings.

I have alot of responsiblitys in the USA. I cant take care of them in PK. I am the USC and petitioning for javed myself no co sponsers. I dont live with no family members in this state. none. I relocated here from overseas. I have established my home and what nots. I cant just up and go to pakistan longer than a few weeks here and possibly there. I have the normal resonsibliys like anyone else rent, utilities, car note, insurance etc. my income superceeds anything javed could produce not to mention his responsibilities.

I have a career! not some job. its a career with a positive out come in the long run. Airline jobs are not a dime a dozen. I could never get a job with PIA airlines. I am currently in school studying my behind off so I can graduate next summer. I wanna do the walk accross the stage. I dont want to put my studies on hold not when I am closer to being compleated.

we do pray alot. we went into this marriage with prayer and spritual guidence. its the only thing thats really helping me cope. based on a promise I received through prayer.

I know my place is by my husbands side!!! his place is by myside. I am thankful my husband takes my career goals seriously and he takes my education seriously too. however, my place is also to build a home for us here. it does us no bit of good for me to toss my responsiblities in the fire. when its all over more problems and no place to live. I would not leave my dog in a kennel for along period of time either. dispite him being a dog diamee is a airline employee family member- with rights. so no I wont up and live in

pakistan.

[bhajishah 4]

YOu make a good point brother

thanks for posting,

try not to be judgemental , many of the women on this board are completely different than you

We too talked about living in Pakistan, some of the culture shock etc. was getting to him. If it came down to it I would sell everything and go with him, as our bond grows stronger every day, i would give up my career, sell the house et al here and go.There was a time and rightly so, that this would not be an option.

Basically, the truth about it is when you have Amercian marrying any foreign male, then you have this role reversal . dude i even had to teach him how to pump self service gas(and he had lived out of pakistan 5 years before). I know these things(Javeds transition here) will be easier on Shon as she is independant and not June CLeaver Iowa girl like myself. Even i know a nurse in Pakistan makes about 200 dollars a month and takes alot of orders, here i can make 200 dollars a day and tell the DRs basically to buzz off. Most of us women here are converts to Islam, however our upbrigning and childhood was Christian and American,and childhood learning cannot be removed, its a part of us. The Cultures should mesh , not collide. Shon in Pakistan ,IMO, not a good choice. Javed needs to be strong maybe its is his faith that is being tested. My heart breaks for sister Shon, you are in our prayers.

Im glad i waited for my Pakistani husband,and ALLAH bless us every day Inshallah, was alot of hard work getting him here and getting him settled, Im glad we stuck it out

I pamper him he dotes over me

he drives me places and pays the bills

we go to MOms together, go on long walks

we cook together

we go to Jummah together

ALALH takes care of the Widows and the Needy

keep the faith

[babybunny 2]

nicely put cindi..

so you had to teach hubby how to pump gas?

[bhajishah 4]

My last husband was a mechanic..now thats a change!!!!

[babybunny 2]

I think whats gonna be a change for javed. seeing the gas station closed and being able to still pump gas. I know it was a shocker for me when I first got back to the USA.

[hafiz 1]

lol that dog is gonna have some serious problems in pakistan. lol. Trying to adjust and learning to speak panjabee, its not easy.

and a person, especially guys

tend to find it difficult, its natural for them to start looking at alternatives, which is why the marriage, and

having a wife and all, and if not, well things get tricky and emotional and sad and frustrating and what not

by alternatives do you mean VIAGRA? i am just kidding sorry. Its not my fault the ###### radio keeps playing the comercial. Ask Seperated lovers he is emotional, frustrated already lol, he wants to go back now. Wait what am i talking about i am in the same boat. If i had some more dough, i would move on out, till this thing finished processing. The heck i would just moved their permanently, come back to visit here every 6-12 months.

Edited July 20, 2006 by hafiz

[dlg 0]

Shon, I wish Ali were able to contact Javed right now... but he's off in the mountains for some time yet - dayum.

Hang in there! It wasn't till recently that Ali shared with me all the teasing, ridiculing and harassment he has gotten from some "friends" about his choices and love for me. It is incredibly hard for him to share his feelings with anyone there in Pak. Which makes it esp. hard for me. I am very happy to be there for him, but it get's hard that I'm the only one he can share with. I, like you, have a lot going and of course am always there for him, but I really am not ready to throw all caution to the wind and go to Pakistan. It just wouldn't be right for either of us (Ali or I). I need to keep earning money, keep my house and life in order so that we can have something together. I am not adverse to spending a good deal of time in Pakistan - but certainly not my whole life. Keep your chin up and try and trust that what is meant to happen will happen. If you two love each other as much as you seem to - it will work itself out some way. We have to believe that - or loose our sanity for sure!!

My thoughts are with you girl. (sigh)

[babybunny 2]

Shon, I wish Ali were able to contact Javed right now... but he's off in the mountains for some time yet - dayum.

Hang in there! It wasn't till recently that Ali shared with me all the teasing, ridiculing and harassment he has gotten from some "friends" about his choices and love for me. It is incredibly hard for him to share his feelings with anyone there in Pak. Which makes it esp. hard for me. I am very happy to be there for him, but it get's hard that I'm the only one he can share with. I, like you, have a lot going and of course am always there for him, but I really am not ready to throw all caution to the wind and go to Pakistan. It just wouldn't be right for either of us (Ali or I). I need to keep earning money, keep my house and life in order so that we can have something together. I am not adverse to spending a good deal of time in Pakistan - but certainly not my whole life. Keep your chin up and try and trust that what is meant to happen will happen. If you two love each other as much as you seem to - it will work itself out some way. We have to believe that - or loose our sanity for sure!!

My thoughts are with you girl. (sigh)

your understanding me 100% and you know what Javed is going though too. Cindishah husband use to talk to my husband. They gave each other a little boost and they met. This is always a good thing. there were sometings javed was telling me that made me go hummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm!. I dont want my Bingo teased. course I have been getting teased too.

btw, lost whom I thought was a friend today. ufffffffff she is upset because, I converted to islam. I would think after over 1 1/2 years she would have known. it hurts but, I have to follow my heart. I have made good friendships on VJ. she dont support my choice. she said some sterotypical things and it hurt.

I think the good news is I have not gotton flack from my co workers.. I did at first. but not now. I never got hassles from my family. I think I am pretty lucky.. My sister has been studying islam.

[hafiz 1]

cool, i cant wait till december i am going on vacation to pakistan. yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhh