Is it just the distance, or is it something more...

[Krissy! 0]

I'd like to keep it in the MENA sub-forums, please....

Got the interview date -- as someone else mentioned, seemed more tension comes up. I'm not sure. But the tension has been on-going....

Anyway.... I was wondering if it's just the distance of being apart for so long, or if it's something much more concerned about: wondered if any of you had some trust issues (to the point of having to fight / defend) while apart -- but it does not occur while together in person here?

[b4byd09 0]

Don't worry it happens with everyone. I sometime cant stand the distance myself, but what can we do?? Fights in relationships keeps them alive or imagine not even saying word to each other!!

[Krissy! 0]

I mean.. it got to the point where I've been accused of seeing someone else (which is very far from the truth), and for not caring about him. It felt like a very selfish thing. I worry that it would always be a part of his personality or our everyday-life style (which I will not tolerate).

Right now, we are on a "break" -- he isn't taking it too well. I miss him terribly but my friends here are saying that it's better this way now.... he has been trying to "make up" for it, and promises to not to let it happen again (even after I've shared those concerns with him on numerous occasions.... it's just sad that by "ending" things with him that made him realize how serious it is).

[Yiyi and Chris 0]

We fight all the time, ridiculous things... maybe the same things that we fight when we are together... It's hard to tell each person it's different, each relationship is different, each situation it's different!!!

It's scary to move to a new country where you will be "alone", with him am his family, sometimes (specially during fights) you omunicatiowill miss your family and friends the most!!!

Comunication is the base of any relationship, talk to him and express him how you feel...

[b4byd09 0]

I don't want to put any wrong ideas in ur mind. I wish u both figure things out by urself. Feel ur heart. what does ur heart tells u?? by looking at him what his behavior or attitudes deliver?? u make ur decision upon that. I am sorry that u have to go through this. I have been through it lots of times but didn't learn anything from it. I now look back at it and laugh about it. By the way my Mother once told me, "Once a cheater always a cheater."

[Henia 11]

I am sure it has alot to do with the distance and all the waiting! But it is true that one can hide many things with long distance relationsip that they may not be able to (for long) if you two were closer ... Personally I would say look for signs and be extra cautious if you are worried! But give the whole a chance too! Not everyone is patient ... LOL actually most people aren't!

[b4byd09 0]

Sorry for the repost. internet problems.

Edited August 14, 2008 by b4byd09

[b4byd09 0]

sorry2

Edited August 14, 2008 by b4byd09

[*Maureen* 0]

being in a long distance relationship is no day at the picnic! good luck with the interview and hopefully these rough times will be just water under the bridge

[esmatsgirl 1]

I'd like to keep it in the MENA sub-forums, please....

Got the interview date -- as someone else mentioned, seemed more tension comes up. I'm not sure. But the tension has been on-going....

Anyway.... I was wondering if it's just the distance of being apart for so long, or if it's something much more concerned about: wondered if any of you had some trust issues (to the point of having to fight / defend) while apart -- but it does not occur while together in person here?

As you know, going through this is not for the weak. At times I can tell my husband gets a little worried but he would never accuse me...its when he tells me how much he trusts me and he knows he picked the best for his wife and has all trust in her...thats when I know he is a little worried.....And this is his way of reassuring himself instead of doubting me. I can understand somewhat why one would ask questions esp if we are in the US alone...being here in the US...in the middle of the fast life where anything goes...anything can happen. Whereas on the flip side...I don't worry about him at all because I know he does not live in a promiscuous society....what if he did? I am sure I would be worried. The trickiest thing my husband does is sit around with his friends outside of the house drinking coffee. The trickest thing I do is go for a walk in the park with my granddaughter or go to the gym.

I think its more than just the trust issues....I think nervousness (about the immigration) may play a part and can manifest itself in many ways. The date is getting closer....there are many facets of worry associated with that...from worrying about going to the embassy to worrying about what to pack and bring to the US with him to leaving his friends and family. Just reassure him in every way you can and try not to get frustrated. Remember he is about to uproot his life for you...leave his home, family and everything behind that he has always know...and its all dependent on you and your love...maybe its his way of looking for reassurance.

Deb

[tammy2688 1]

I'd like to keep it in the MENA sub-forums, please....

Got the interview date -- as someone else mentioned, seemed more tension comes up. I'm not sure. But the tension has been on-going....

Anyway.... I was wondering if it's just the distance of being apart for so long, or if it's something much more concerned about: wondered if any of you had some trust issues (to the point of having to fight / defend) while apart -- but it does not occur while together in person here?

As you know, going through this is not for the weak. At times I can tell my husband gets a little worried but he would never accuse me...its when he tells me how much he trusts me and he knows he picked the best for his wife and has all trust in her...thats when I know he is a little worried.....And this is his way of reassuring himself instead of doubting me. I can understand somewhat why one would ask questions esp if we are in the US alone...being here in the US...in the middle of the fast life where anything goes...anything can happen. Whereas on the flip side...I don't worry about him at all because I know he does not live in a promiscuous society....what if he did? I am sure I would be worried. The trickiest thing my husband does is sit around with his friends outside of the house drinking coffee. The trickest thing I do is go for a walk in the park with my granddaughter or go to the gym.

I think its more than just the trust issues....I think nervousness (about the immigration) may play a part and can manifest itself in many ways. The date is getting closer....there are many facets of worry associated with that...from worrying about going to the embassy to worrying about what to pack and bring to the US with him to leaving his friends and family. Just reassure him in every way you can and try not to get frustrated. Remember he is about to uproot his life for you...leave his home, family and everything behind that he has always know...and its all dependent on you and your love...maybe its his way of looking for reassurance. Deb

Yes, this is exactly the way my husband used to be with me upon our first year of marriage. We had our ups and downs but his assurances helped not only him my me also and it is easier now to live apart until we are together again, Insha-Allah.

Please take this advice K&O, I am sure after a few days apart, and some rocky moments, you and your husband will be more than happy together.

May God bless you both, and hang in there, God will help you.

Tammy

[~Jackie~ 30]

Not a promiscous society? I think, because of the repression of sexual urges, there is backdoor, in the night nookie that is just not discussed in Jordan. It's there, just no one talks about it or acknowledges it. Of course more prevalent in Amman than in the villages. The hookers I saw tho were in the little village of al husn.

Men and woman will mix no matter what country they are in. Just cuz mom & dad & grandparents dont know about it, doesn't mean its not happening. I saw 'women of the night' on every trip to Jordan. hoochie mama's ...lol

I hope you get thru this separation quickly. Nothing like a good reunion to make you forget the horrible wait.

jJ

[*JG* 2]

I mean.. it got to the point where I've been accused of seeing someone else (which is very far from the truth), and for not caring about him. It felt like a very selfish thing. I worry that it would always be a part of his personality or our everyday-life style (which I will not tolerate).

Right now, we are on a "break" -- he isn't taking it too well. I miss him terribly but my friends here are saying that it's better this way now.... he has been trying to "make up" for it, and promises to not to let it happen again (even after I've shared those concerns with him on numerous occasions.... it's just sad that by "ending" things with him that made him realize how serious it is).

It is normal. However, it sounds like he has a little growing up to do. You will figure all that out with time.

[doodlebugg 10]

I'm so sorry you are going through this. The interview is a difficult and stressful time. We fought and I was there with him for the first one, even though the CO never showed up! I was just soooo stressed out and hot and miserable. I've never been accused of seeing someone else though but he does get jealous...I just notice it in the way he acts even though he doesn't out right say anything you know?

See how he acts during this break and inshallah everything will work itself out. If in your heart and gut you feel something is "off" though in the way he treats you then listen to those feelings.

[Mommy2ZaidnSalma 11]

sofyan and I fought daily until i gave up and went to jordan...after that, Its happily ever after